You didn't do anything bad I had similar experience when I was younger at the age of 16years I was living with my sister and her husband but not same mother my step sister..the way her husband treated me was so harsh I had to do all the work at home,I wasn't given quality education he called me evil spirit he said am the one doing him..I had to to take care of the house and thr children before going to school... I left the place after a year I wasn't treated right at all..but thank God now am now a graduate pursuing my Masters I also have business I'm doing... But what your mother don't know is that the girl have few years to use with you whether your mother treated her well or not shes going to reach where God destined her to reach but what your mum has done will never be forgotten by that child...and karma will always catch up no matter what it might not necessary catch up with ur mother directly but her children cuz who knows where her children can find themselves sit ur mum down, tell her all these things tell her nobody knows tomorrow and please and please be nice to that girl at all time she will never forget the effort you made on her....to your brother sit him down and talk to him

cococandy:

You know opinions here often change even if the circumstances are very similar once a different gender is involved.

They don’t have sense na.

In this situation brother ....I would advice you to not interfere in this matter if you really want that small girl to be okay....
You can only protect the girl when you're around what if you go out or you're out of the country ....

Just tell your mom that she should remember that Karma is real and how will she feel if her own children are been treated that way if they were in Similar situations......
Just be prayerful and hope that she would change ..

cococandy:


Of all the people commenting , no one wondered if the mom was in support of the adoption or not.
Like bringing a whole human being into the family is not a big change.

I’m sure someone will quote me to say I’m in support of her maltreatment to the child. Lol

At times i really wish creatures called women can really ration there emotional space with some atoms of reasoning, b4 God & human, tradition and law what is wrong with bringing in a whole human to the family, these is even a child here, not some mistress or 2nd wife
The logical question here is how does the presence of that child affect the mom/wife ... what benefits or enjoyment did the woman of the house stand to lose it hurt so much women don't think everytin is clouded by there emotion.
if you are not in support then say what is bad is bad, instead of generating an excuse.

OchoL:
I'm sure that girl's weight is as a direct result of your mother's incessant bullying which has led her into comfort eating. Sorry to say, but your mother is a nasty piece of trash. She is not a true mother and God will surely deal with her for her unjust treatment of another woman's child.

You have no right to insult his mother that way. He only asked for solution not insult, be guaided.

kodix:
The question you will ask is
1) Did your father have mutually agreement with your mom before adopting his sis child and your mum accepted and not by force.
2) on what basis is the adoption is it inform of helping the girls mom or total so that one will not be deceived, no one will adopt a child which has automatically become hers and want to kill him/her aferall you and your siblings are guys she is only girl.
3)if it is helping the girl and d mom,did her mom appreciate your mom for accepting her child with good gestures or is she taking it for granted and always go through your dad and he is now forcing your mum because it won't work so far they are not in good term before, she must not be going through your dad alone otherwise that girl will suffer there.
So check out all these things

Man wey get sense. Some people think life is white and black or by typing epistles online to appear humane.

I suggest you talk to your mum in a calm manner.Ask her what issue she's got with the child....

jornwhite:

At times i really wish creatures called women can really ration there emotional space with some atoms of reasoning

rude. Sexist. Disrespectful. But I’ll ignore this part

, b4 God & human, tradition and law what is wrong with bringing in a whole human to the family,

Nothing wrong with bringing a human being into the family. However it’s a big responsibility and the person/s who will take on that responsibility has to agree before you go ahead to do it

these is even a child here, not some mistress or 2nd wife

sigh

The logical question here is how does the presence of that child affect the mom/wife ...

with all your non-emotional reasoning and logical mind, you can’t figure this one out? Can’t figure out how a new child might disrupt an established daily routine, house flow, changes in finances etc. You probably “logically” think that people who have kids just wake up and go about their business. Nothing needs to be done to make sure the kids are okay throughout the day. Got it.

what benefits or enjoyment did the woman of the house stand to lose

Maybe time? money? Stress of raising another child? A child quickly approaching puberty and needs a fully committed mom figure now more than ever ? But what do I know? Shows that you folks have no understanding of what raising a child entails. That’s why you under value the work women do in child rearing.

it hurt so much women don't think everytin is clouded by there emotion.
if you are not in support then say what is bad is bad, instead of generating an excuse.

You’re the one not thinking. Rather being emotional. But I guess since you’re a man you must be logical . what’s bad is bad and the OP mom has no right to be mean to the kid. Is OP’s problem now solved because I said it? Or does he need actual solution? You be logical and tell us.

Dganji:
you know the hate issue is my greatest fear. But ill take your words and also read others comment and know what action is best.
Thanks though..

of recent, my siblings and I had to come together to talk to our mum about her attitude ( not similar situation though... Very different) and initially as Africans, we thought it might be rude but now we know better. Correcting your mum is not rude. Cautioning her is not disrespectful. Do what you must to ensure that little girl is safe and has a Happy childhood.

OchoL:
I'm sure that girl's weight is as a direct result of your mother's incessant bullying which has led her into comfort eating. Sorry to say, but your mother is a nasty piece of trash. She is not a true mother and God will surely deal with her for her unjust treatment of another woman's child.

you're telling someone else that his mother is thrash and you think you're not one yourself? Keep your nonsense talk yo yourself if you can't respect his mother where he is present.

Sterope:
The woman is not treating her in a different way, She is ABUSING her.

How can she be ever okay? God gracious!!!

What's your solution ma ?

BSomebody:
Why will you use the word “it’s normal” what is normal about being hateful towards a child? This is our problem, when things that needs to be greatly frown upon is now perceived normal because many of us have embraced it, especially Nigerians. You are not a good person until that love you shower on your own children is extended to others. That is why, you can only know the heart of someone judging by the way they threat people they don’t need.

Some of our parents are wicked, we might be bias, but is the truth.

OP, stand your ground. Whenever opportunity you have, rebuke her politely and talk to your father about it.

Even your own wife can be guilty of this , women do treat another person's children differently , stop talking as if u are not aware pls , I do see them , I do see maids around me , this do happen , don't try to act as if u are saint ,

Bradiyung:

Pls don't say it's normal, it's a hateful character sure you can't treat her like your own doesn't mean you should find the slightest means to beat or insult her.

I very much dislike women of such nature, so for a poor child to be seeking for care is a bad thing now

Yes but our mums , sisters and wives are guilty of this, don't act like you don't know , women don't treat another children from another women same like their children , I see it everyday , pls I don't have una time , awon saints

imanray37:
what's normal here? charlatan.

U are blind to see it around u , saint !

OchoL:
I'm sure that girl's weight is as a direct result of your mother's incessant bullying which has led her into comfort eating. Sorry to say, but your mother is a nasty piece of trash. She is not a true mother and God will surely deal with her for her unjust treatment of another woman's child.

The OP asked for an advice and not to abuse his mother. How could you use such uncouth words. You showed similar signs of behaving same way. It is obvious you may not be able to control your emotions and hence, your hatred.

She has a mother.

majamajic:


What's your solution ma ?

M00N:


lol...I suck at using punctuation marks

Good morning

Nice one, I still applaud you for your writing and your changes towards life

Sterope:
She has a mother.

Do u read where he said , she can't go back to her mum cos that will be worst?

Besides she has been adopted, the Op like am seeing it will be around 19yrs , he can't act violently to his parents yet , mine is he should continue to love and care as time goes on things will be better , he can't fight his mum

How is it going to be worst? The op mentioned the environment, he didn't say her mother wad going to aybise her.

majamajic:


Do u read where he said , she can't go back to her mum cos that will be worst?

Besides she has been adopted, the Op like am seeing it will be around 19yrs , he can't act violently to his parents yet , mine is he should continue to love and care as time goes on things will be better , he can't fight his mum

pocohantas:


Don’t mind them. Are they not the same people that told a woman to take her child back because the husband (step father) doesn’t support it?

Some people find it very hard to reason well. See them giving unrealistic advice. Later they will claim to be logical and try to emotionally blackmail you with useless epistles.

LOL ! n sum1 z yu graduated ! just like factory overhead, a man past & a woman past deals directly & has a huge impact on marriages, bringing in a bastard frm either sides is not the same as adopting a relative,niece or siblings.
my point is if any of d couple decides to bring in his/her relatives it just an extra mouth to feed & cater for no direct emotions involve buh bringing in a biological child from past might resonates some unpleasant memories, it varies tho & depend on parties concern. You are fond of looking for excuses & justification for any wicked act perperuated by women,wateva .. buh nex time compare situations that are similar.

cococandy:
rude. Sexist. Disrespectful. But I’ll ignore this part



Nothing wrong with bringing a human being into the family. However it’s a big responsibility and the person/s who will take on that responsibility has to agree before you go ahead to do it


sigh

with all your non-emotional reasoning and logical mind, you can’t figure this one out? Can’t figure out how a new child might disrupt an established daily routine, house flow, changes in finances etc. You probably “logically” think that people who have kids just wake up and go about their business. Nothing needs to be done to make sure the kids are okay throughout the day. Got it.


Maybe time? money? Stress of raising another child? A child quickly approaching puberty and needs a fully committed mom figure now more than ever ? But what do I know? Shows that you folks have no understanding of what raising a child entails. That’s why you under value the work women do in child rearing.



You’re the one not thinking. Rather being emotional. But I guess since you’re a man you must be logical . what’s bad is bad and the OP mom has no right to be mean to the kid. Is OP’s problem now solved because I said it? Or does he need actual solution? You be logical and tell us.

You are wasting your time on those ones. The logical part of their brains would only function if the table turns.

Sometime ago, a woman on this same NL complained of how her husband hates her son-his stepson, despite agreeing to have the boy come live with them initially. All our NL warlords agreed with the man. Implored the woman to take the child elsewhere or BEG the husband. Every woman that agreed with them was a wife material. I remember someone asked them, would you guys say same if tables turn? Will you not remind us how women are wicked to step-kids.

Show me a Nigerian man that would watch his wife bring in a child without his consent- then play daddy duties and you have successfully shown me the 9th wonder of the world. The 8th wonder should be the woman who birthed him.

True that. Nothing really new.

pocohantas:


You are wasting your time on those ones. The logical part of their brains would only function if the table turns.

Sometime ago, a woman on this same NL complained of how her husband hates her son-his stepson, despite agreeing to have the boy come live with them initially. All our NL warlords agreed with the man. Implored the woman to take the child elsewhere or BEG the husband. Every woman that agreed with them was a wife material. I remember someone asked them, would you guys say same if tables turn? Will you not remind us how women are wicked to step-kids.

Show me a Nigerian man that would watch his wife bring in a child without his consent- then play daddy duties and you have successfully shown me the 9th wonder of the world. The 8th wonder should be the woman who birthed him.

crackkhaus:
Point me to a woman who can treat a child not borne of her uterus like he/she was her own biological child, and I'll confidently explain what a rare precious diamond she is.

Your mum is not doing anything unusual but keep correcting her whenever you can. Honestly though, I highly doubt you will be able to put a final stop to anything.
If your father, her husband, was unable to rein her in, you certainly will never be able to.

Keep trying...

My mother. My younger cousin living with us, since he was 13, he's 17 and my mother still be complain we are sending him on too much errand and all(somebody that washing plates and feeding the dogs are his only job.)
It's not like his mother is a wicked person. She's transferring her guilt on to the girl. Maybe she had always been the wrong party whenever herself and the girl's mother fought and seeing the girl makes her guilty and she has to act that way so as not to dwell on her guilt.
Or the girl's mother is the wrong one here and he's simply transferring the hatred on to the girl.
In this first case, she can make amends, see the girl's mother and correct her ways, it will ease her guilt. And/or anytime she sees the girl and she feels guilty, she can simply chose to see treating the girl right as a way of correcting her wrongs instead of dwelling on her guilt.

And if it's the girls mother who's wrong here, she should understand that the girl is a different person from her mother(that's why kids don't turn out like their parents in all ways and why kids of the same parents are different from one another.) And also accept the fact that the girl's mother might not or would not come to apologize which is fine because she do not want to carry that burden of hatred forever in her heart, it's too much burden to carry honestly.

And if it's the fact that her husband didn't discuss the adoption with her, then her anger should be directed at her husband and not the girl. The girl can't possibly discuss the adoption with her, only her husband can.

So whatever the case might be, she needs to accept the fact that the girl has no fault whatsoever

OchoL:
geosegun
INDUSTRIALFAN
Freeeanijor
Humanoid01
OriOko88
.. and any other idiot quoting me.
I SAID WHAT I SAID!
Not only is OP's mother a piece of trash, she's also a dirty pig and a witch for treating a child that way - same thing applies to your mothers too!

I'm in my house, come and beat me

I just went through some of your comments and I could see you probably exhume such a bad attitude in your discussions. So you are not worthy of any advise whatsoever, kid. Also, from your comments, I could deduce you are probably not a female? hence you probably lied about your gender? But, If you truly happened to be a female, then I pity the young man that will marry you. You'll probably make his life a heck of a hell.

This is the last time I will respond to your rants.

OchoL:
geosegun
INDUSTRIALFAN
Freeeanijor
Humanoid01
OriOko88
.. and any other idiot quoting me.
I SAID WHAT I SAID!
Not only is OP's mother a piece of trash, she's also a dirty pig and a witch for treating a child that way - same thing applies to your mothers too!

I'm in my house, come and beat me

as usual... You can only rant behind a screen... Lool... Inconsequential nutsack

cococandy:
True that. Nothing really new.

Pls, Ignore that thing desperately seeking your attention. People are isolating and bored- his situation isn’t uncommon.

pocohantas:


Pls, Ignore that thing desperately seeking your attention. People are isolating and bored- his situation isn’t uncommon.