₦airaland Forum

Apination:
There was no marriage. You shouldn't even be talking about divorce, because based on what you said there is no marriage. It would be annulled the moment its heard in a court house

Exactly, she should be charged to court to know the magnitude of her crime.

Tajbol4splend:
I can imagine how bad the experience will be to realize you are married to the wrong person, happy couples don't know what they have

God will help us all to our marriage. Everyone has his/her perculiar situation s/he is dealing with.

Veetee:
To be honest with you i will not advise you to divorce your wife nobody is perfect, you should forgive her, you should be grateful to God for letting you have a child,and then she passed her exams. it shows things can still get better.

She passed her exam, how Are you not aware that there are people that pay people to write exams for them. How can someone pass without reading?

dmexman:
Sugar mummy in abuja should call me 09013973345.

Are you not a male prostitute bayi?

Did you love her? If not, pls let her go for good if not the end may not be palatable.

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] CIA and FBI combined cannot match up to a woman when it comes to manipulation, espionage and subterfuge... especially when potency to lead to marriage is involved... That's why we must involve our mothers or elderly aunties to investigate our potential mates as it only takes a woman to catch a woman...Next time don't be a simp...[/color]

I did not finish what you wrote before I liked it. That first sentence has been true since the days of Adam.

J111333:
To give you a configured slap just dey hungry me.

What a beautiful nonsense comment.

I know a hungry man is an angry man; an angry man is the devil's workshop.

Go give Corona virus so that the lockdown could be lifted for you to go look for food.

Lamb101:
I strongly disagree with you

That was just my opinion.

Read again the first sentence of the second paragraph the phrase "if you can" entirely put it up to the op to take a decision on his own.

We should all try to read between lines.

Lordsonn:
Greetings to you all. I want to go straight to the point. I opened this account because of my marital problems.

From the day I met my wife, she was after marriage. In less than two weeks of meeting her, she started pressurizing me to meet her family members which I succumbed to.

These are what she told me at the beginning of the relationship:

1) She had HND from Kaduna Polytechnics
2) She has Diploma in Computer Science
3) She is a professional cake baker
4) She was three months pregnant
5) That she was 27 years

My discoveries after marriage:

1) She doesn’t have any HND, infact no good WAEC result
2) She cannot even connect laptop to printer and print. She don’t know much about computer at all.
3) She doesn’t know how to bake cake. I discovered that the cake I asked her to bake for me, she gave the contract to her friend.
4) She was never pregnant. She had fibroid and that made her tummy big
5) She was 33 years.

NOTE: the reasons why I believed all she told me at the beginning was because she was a prophetess in her church. She speaks in tongues and prophesy many times and most of the prophecies came to pass.

I was even surprised that in less than two weeks of our relationship, she made move for sex and we started having sex. I did not even think of pre-marital sex because I thought she was a holy woman.

The problems after marriage: several people began to beg me to forgive her and continue with the marriage. I find it difficult but she was still living in my house. I was just being forced my her family and her family members persuaded some of my family members to beg me too. I tried to love her but hatred for her was just building in my heart.

The fibroid surgery was successfully done and she got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. I thought the coming of the child may make me to forgive her but I could not recover from her betrayal. I even hate her more.

She wrote WAEC last session and got nine credits but the memory of her betrayal is giving me a lot of psychological trauma. I love an educated woman and cannot see myself glued to an illiterate woman in the name of marriage.

Major problems that made me sent her out:

1) She refused to go to my church. She always want to go to her church and even want me to join her there which I refused.
2) She doesn’t like education at all. She hate going to school and will never carry book to read.
3) Anytime I have disagreement with her, she will call her elder brother. And they will come and talk to me, sometimes in a very condescending manner
4) She is not submissive, very arrogant and talks with anger, authoritatively.
5) She is a societal woman, she loves joining several associations of women and be going to meetings every sunday which I don't like.
6) She value clothes more than human being. She can use any money from the family purse to buy Hollandis, lase, George etc just to dress to her church for show off. I am introvert but she is extremely extrovert.

I sent her out of my house three weeks ago. She is trying to come back in the disguise that she doesn’t want her child to be only one, that it will make the child suffer in the future but I told her I cannot allow her to my house again. I love my little child and I cannot live with such a woman who is full of lies and pretense. I just have hatred for such kind of people.

What do you think I should do?

It seems like Nollywood is running out of ideas. They now resort to Nairaland for more info and feedback.


Believe this write up at your own detriment. Tho Konji is a bastard

As much as I will like to read and just ignore this post as a use to do but I was still push to drop this

Sire, with due respect, I can see somewhere inside you still long for your wife, the only problem you have is that you saw some imperfections which you think are improper due to the betrayal you stipulated.

My humble self will only open your eyes to some possible case scenario. Like the movie I once saw, "picture perfect", all marriage can never be perfect. Your expectations were not met, yet you need to find some lasting solution to them. Now imagine she meet your expectations in terms of Education but still possesses all forms of immorality even beyond those she said she has. Will you still love her?

Likewise, if the case was inverse, good moral etiquettes and lacks fame educational background, what will have be your take on this?

Since you said she lacks everything, which I stand to be corrected are lies. She was good at something you never told us you missed somethings about her........

Here are my humble alternative advise.

1. Take a new wife and prepare for the best output or the worst ever possible scenarios. .

2. Take her back, blend her to what you think you want, have more children bla bla bla....and grow old together.

This could be down only with some terms and conditions that won't change between you, her and her family members.

3. Take a second wife, to make her learn but could turn out to be disastrous, depending on how you can handle the case spiritual, moral, mentally, psychological, and physically.

4. Run for you life and leave everything behind. But remember you have a child with an unpredictable future.

5. Just take a deep breath and think, pray to the most high to lead you and stop seeking the advice of bleeping humans.

psucc:
That was just my opinion.

Read again the first sentence of the second paragraph the phrase "if you can" entirely put it up to the op to take a decision on his own.

We should all try to read between lines.

No. Look at your first paragraph. You assert folly. Heeding such an advice will render him stupid.

Lamb101:
No. Look at your first paragraph. You assert folly. Heeding such an advice will render him stupid.

And you feel he cannot forgive her?

It wasn't folly but a necessary evil. Whether or not forgiveness cannot be wished away.

Lordsonn:
Not a fake story. I am so worried now about this marriage wahala

who cares

Lordsonn:
Greetings to you all. I want to go straight to the point. I opened this account because of my marital problems.

From the day I met my wife, she was after marriage. In less than two weeks of meeting her, she started pressurizing me to meet her family members which I succumbed to.

These are what she told me at the beginning of the relationship:

1) She had HND from Kaduna Polytechnics
2) She has Diploma in Computer Science
3) She is a professional cake baker
4) She was three months pregnant
5) That she was 27 years

My discoveries after marriage:

1) She doesn’t have any HND, infact no good WAEC result
2) She cannot even connect laptop to printer and print. She don’t know much about computer at all.
3) She doesn’t know how to bake cake. I discovered that the cake I asked her to bake for me, she gave the contract to her friend.
4) She was never pregnant. She had fibroid and that made her tummy big
5) She was 33 years.

NOTE: the reasons why I believed all she told me at the beginning was because she was a prophetess in her church. She speaks in tongues and prophesy many times and most of the prophecies came to pass.

I was even surprised that in less than two weeks of our relationship, she made move for sex and we started having sex. I did not even think of pre-marital sex because I thought she was a holy woman.

The problems after marriage: several people began to beg me to forgive her and continue with the marriage. I find it difficult but she was still living in my house. I was just being forced my her family and her family members persuaded some of my family members to beg me too. I tried to love her but hatred for her was just building in my heart.

The fibroid surgery was successfully done and she got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. I thought the coming of the child may make me to forgive her but I could not recover from her betrayal. I even hate her more.

She wrote WAEC last session and got nine credits but the memory of her betrayal is giving me a lot of psychological trauma. I love an educated woman and cannot see myself glued to an illiterate woman in the name of marriage.

Major problems that made me sent her out:

1) She refused to go to my church. She always want to go to her church and even want me to join her there which I refused.
2) She doesn’t like education at all. She hate going to school and will never carry book to read.
3) Anytime I have disagreement with her, she will call her elder brother. And they will come and talk to me, sometimes in a very condescending manner
4) She is not submissive, very arrogant and talks with anger, authoritatively.
5) She is a societal woman, she loves joining several associations of women and be going to meetings every sunday which I don't like.
6) She value clothes more than human being. She can use any money from the family purse to buy Hollandis, lase, George etc just to dress to her church for show off. I am introvert but she is extremely extrovert.

I sent her out of my house three weeks ago. She is trying to come back in the disguise that she doesn’t want her child to be only one, that it will make the child suffer in the future but I told her I cannot allow her to my house again. I love my little child and I cannot live with such a woman who is full of lies and pretense. I just have hatred for such kind of people.

What do you think I should do?

FIRST FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR FALLING FOR HER LIES.
SECONDLY FORGIVE HER FOR LYING TO YOU, NO ONE IS PERFECT.
REMEMBER GOD HATES DIVORCE THE ONLY GROUND GOD PERMIT DIVORCE IS FORNICATION/ADULTERY .APART FROM THAT GOD EXPECTS YOU FORGIVE YOUR WIFE.

Lordsonn:
Not a fake story. I am so worried now about this marriage wahala

. The truth remains that any relationship built on lies will not stand the test of time. Women can keep secrets more than men so be prepared for the worst but pray that God will give you the heart to bear with your wife. if it's all about the lies and pretence, I will advise you to forgive her but as you list some of her characters, I felt otherwise. you will die before your time if you live with such a womàn. if she promise to change her character , please forgive her but if she still keep to such character and you take her back, sorry to say this: you may not live long, thank you.

Nollywood

Lordsonn:
Greetings to you all. I want to go straight to the point. I opened this account because of my marital problems.

From the day I met my wife, she was after marriage. In less than two weeks of meeting her, she started pressurizing me to meet her family members which I succumbed to.

These are what she told me at the beginning of the relationship:

1) She had HND from Kaduna Polytechnics
2) She has Diploma in Computer Science
3) She is a professional cake baker
4) She was three months pregnant
5) That she was 27 years

My discoveries after marriage:

1) She doesn’t have any HND, infact no good WAEC result
2) She cannot even connect laptop to printer and print. She don’t know much about computer at all.
3) She doesn’t know how to bake cake. I discovered that the cake I asked her to bake for me, she gave the contract to her friend.
4) She was never pregnant. She had fibroid and that made her tummy big
5) She was 33 years.

NOTE: the reasons why I believed all she told me at the beginning was because she was a prophetess in her church. She speaks in tongues and prophesy many times and most of the prophecies came to pass.

I was even surprised that in less than two weeks of our relationship, she made move for sex and we started having sex. I did not even think of pre-marital sex because I thought she was a holy woman.

The problems after marriage: several people began to beg me to forgive her and continue with the marriage. I find it difficult but she was still living in my house. I was just being forced my her family and her family members persuaded some of my family members to beg me too. I tried to love her but hatred for her was just building in my heart.

The fibroid surgery was successfully done and she got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. I thought the coming of the child may make me to forgive her but I could not recover from her betrayal. I even hate her more.

She wrote WAEC last session and got nine credits but the memory of her betrayal is giving me a lot of psychological trauma. I love an educated woman and cannot see myself glued to an illiterate woman in the name of marriage.

Major problems that made me sent her out:

1) She refused to go to my church. She always want to go to her church and even want me to join her there which I refused.
2) She doesn’t like education at all. She hate going to school and will never carry book to read.
3) Anytime I have disagreement with her, she will call her elder brother. And they will come and talk to me, sometimes in a very condescending manner
4) She is not submissive, very arrogant and talks with anger, authoritatively.
5) She is a societal woman, she loves joining several associations of women and be going to meetings every sunday which I don't like.
6) She value clothes more than human being. She can use any money from the family purse to buy Hollandis, lase, George etc just to dress to her church for show off. I am introvert but she is extremely extrovert.

I sent her out of my house three weeks ago. She is trying to come back in the disguise that she doesn’t want her child to be only one, that it will make the child suffer in the future but I told her I cannot allow her to my house again. I love my little child and I cannot live with such a woman who is full of lies and pretense. I just have hatred for such kind of people.

What do you think I should do?

Thank you all for the advises and encouragement. God bless you all. You people will not fall victim of this

Any marriage built on falsehood doesn't last except by the grace of God. But bros wat got u attracted to her in d first place?

Those criteria were no longer the challenge. However, it is said she never show zealousness in studies. Again add 7years to real 33years, she is 40 for HND assuming school ho without problems. are you sure she can do that? Guy, if you still love her, is it not better she goes to learn handwork? Anyway, advise yourself and leave nairalanders alone. Thank God the fibroid was successfully removed and child came.after. it's miraclous. Seek God's face the more. Love is built and not already-made something. May God help you.

psucc:
And you feel he cannot forgive her?

It wasn't folly but a necessary evil. Whether or not forgiveness cannot be wished away.

man he was scammed. He should wake up.
I will definitely forgive her from my heart but we cannot stay married. He will be a self imprisoned man all the days of his life if after knowing the truth he does not take a step.

tunatrezy:
Yoruba will say "abgo ejo enikan da agba osheka no"

what gibberish did you write here. Don't tell me this is Yoruba??

Onbami:
Your church dey crase...
When you dey Bleep her 2weeks into the relationship them no tell you that you have eaten the forbidden fruit and liable to accept the seeds thereof..

Ewu

You lack brain. Go back to the post and read again. That is if you have the capacity to comprehend.

Lordsonn:
Greetings to you all. I want to go straight to the point. I opened this account because of my marital problems.

From the day I met my wife, she was after marriage. In less than two weeks of meeting her, she started pressurizing me to meet her family members which I succumbed to.

These are what she told me at the beginning of the relationship:

1) She had HND from Kaduna Polytechnics
2) She has Diploma in Computer Science
3) She is a professional cake baker
4) She was three months pregnant
5) That she was 27 years

My discoveries after marriage:

1) She doesn’t have any HND, infact no good WAEC result
2) She cannot even connect laptop to printer and print. She don’t know much about computer at all.
3) She doesn’t know how to bake cake. I discovered that the cake I asked her to bake for me, she gave the contract to her friend.
4) She was never pregnant. She had fibroid and that made her tummy big
5) She was 33 years.

NOTE: the reasons why I believed all she told me at the beginning was because she was a prophetess in her church. She speaks in tongues and prophesy many times and most of the prophecies came to pass.

I was even surprised that in less than two weeks of our relationship, she made move for sex and we started having sex. I did not even think of pre-marital sex because I thought she was a holy woman.

The problems after marriage: several people began to beg me to forgive her and continue with the marriage. I find it difficult but she was still living in my house. I was just being forced my her family and her family members persuaded some of my family members to beg me too. I tried to love her but hatred for her was just building in my heart.

The fibroid surgery was successfully done and she got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. I thought the coming of the child may make me to forgive her but I could not recover from her betrayal. I even hate her more.

She wrote WAEC last session and got nine credits but the memory of her betrayal is giving me a lot of psychological trauma. I love an educated woman and cannot see myself glued to an illiterate woman in the name of marriage.

Major problems that made me sent her out:

1) She refused to go to my church. She always want to go to her church and even want me to join her there which I refused.
2) She doesn’t like education at all. She hate going to school and will never carry book to read.
3) Anytime I have disagreement with her, she will call her elder brother. And they will come and talk to me, sometimes in a very condescending manner
4) She is not submissive, very arrogant and talks with anger, authoritatively.
5) She is a societal woman, she loves joining several associations of women and be going to meetings every sunday which I don't like.
6) She value clothes more than human being. She can use any money from the family purse to buy Hollandis, lase, George etc just to dress to her church for show off. I am introvert but she is extremely extrovert.

I sent her out of my house three weeks ago. She is trying to come back in the disguise that she doesn’t want her child to be only one, that it will make the child suffer in the future but I told her I cannot allow her to my house again. I love my little child and I cannot live with such a woman who is full of lies and pretense. I just have hatred for such kind of people.

What do you think I should do?

This is pretty much straight forward.

Your perception of the woman (pre marriage)
is different from reality (post marriage). Your wife turned out to be completely different from the person you married.

That's a tough call and so difficult to live with considering the fact she's now more like a liability. She's all shades of what you don't want in a woman.

We won't be having this conversation if she's adding value to your life so Oga, go ahead with whatever makes you happy. Shalom

[quote author=pasol4real post=88995161]Oga am also a Catholic but I can assure you that these things are regarded as “frivolous” meaning not enough to annul a marriage. I acknowledge that the Catholic Church can declare your marriage null n void if they discover “deceit” but falsification of age , academic qualification etc don’t count. There are some very hidden secrets that the church counts as worthy enough to annul a union. For example a woman that knew she was barren but dint inform her husband before marriage.[/is not ote]
Oga I am not just a Catholic. I am inside inside. I knew what I said. That union was no marriage in the first place.

iyke926:
You were scammed.You have to divorce her.

Someone opened a thread on Nairaland, giving reasons not to marry a lady above 30. The dude was making lots of sense in the writeup but trust Nigerians, he was bashed... insulted. When I read this thread, I just had to remember that. Personally, I can't settle with a Nigerian girl above 30 because there are reasons, why she is 30+ and unmarried.

Shine your eyes, guys. Don't be decieved by beauty.

can I see that thread, I will love to read..sometimes a girl above 30 is a good or bad wife material..
It's vice versa bro..

Op, I would have advice you but mine was one lie above her listed lies to you..
And today me and my wife are doing great.

Lamb101:
man he was scammed. He should wake up.
I will definitely forgive her from my heart but we cannot stay married. He will be a self imprisoned man all the days of his life if after knowing the truth he does not take a step.

You still take it frm one aspect divorce.

He can still go on with the marriage and make a very successful home

okey4reel:
I am experiencing such at the moment now, as soon as I told her that I can't get married to her cos of all the things I discovered which are similar to it's all hell went loose, she started insulting me and my family, presently she has refused to leave my house and I am forced to go n stay with a friend till after the Lockdown

Guy be careful o

okey4reel:
I am experiencing such at the moment now, as soon as I told her that I can't get married to her cos of all the things I discovered which are similar to it's all hell went loose, she started insulting me and my family, presently she has refused to leave my house and I am forced to go n stay with a friend till after the Lockdown

bro, what if after the lockdown, she realized her mistakes, pls forgive her. Did she lied to you that her age is 28 meanwhile she's 33 before she got married to you. If she lied to you and you love her but because she's the same age with u, still forgive her.. But as for the OP, she lied to him she's a graduate meanwhile she doesn't have waec certificate.. So if ur wife is a graduate, try to make things work out, don't compare ur situation with the OP to give us the reason why u chase your wife finally.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, maybe I met the right person, the only thing that makes it ugly is when there's no much finance to Carry the family along.
I didn't date my wife for 1weak before I proceeded to marriage lol but na luck. Some dated their spouse for 7years yet fight like cat and dog..
I am not saying I and my wife never had misunderstanding, we did but before tonight, we make up, we had a lot quarrel just because I don't want to be control by woman I pay her bride price so I take no nonsense from her. So we amend our ways and we move on, today, she know the kind of husband she has. Be strong to keep ur marriage. I don't even have the whole money but I preserve my respect as a man of the house.

psucc:
You still take it frm one aspect divorce.

He can still go on with the marriage and make a very successful home

You don't get it.

If a human being is subjected under conditions that do not permit him to live his life happily, he ends up getting ill, deteriorating, life span cut short, prone to mental issues and definitely depressed.

The above listed are all torture and if it can be averted I see no reason why it shouldn't.

Going by your suggestion, the woman will definitely remain happy as her plans are working out perfectly. What's about the man?
How sure are you he will not end up committing suicide or doing other shaddy things to ease his pain?

A psychologist explained that when a man is subjected under unfriendly circumstances, he begins to thirst for power, money, sex or any form of act that can stands as a form of revenge to his pain or its cause.

This man is in a real good mess and unless he will agree to be the sacrificial lamb, I strongly suggest the dissolution of the union. For it is not a union in the first place but a prison.

excel1960:
Any marriage built on falsehood doesn't last except by the grace of God.
But bros wat got u attracted to her in d first place?

The big bubbling âss and speaking in tongues in the bedroom.

[quote author=MrSly post=89017779][/quote]I explained to you what is obtainable, but you still want to display ignorance, may be a priest will convince you better. Even using your brain this things the op listed
are normal thing s that happen every day. Ppl don’t always reveal everything about themselves in a relationship. The church understands this n that is why the pope even instructed that the church be very careful before they annul any marriage. N that’s why before a marriage is annulled it wud have gone through several levels of jurisdictions before it can be finally annulled. If the church were to be as aggressive as you are insinuating, almost 80% of Catholics will not be married today.
Ask your priest he will explain better to you.
N for your info I come from a very strong catholic background with catechists n what have you.

MedicH:
You both are immature and u Mr man u are very silly and a disgrace to manhood.

He needs ur advice and you are busy insulting him. Kudos to you.