AmazingMOG:
stop begging go and hussle

Hello you shouldn't say that. Dont be the cause to another man's death. If u cant help him, atleast read and pass. Prat you dont find yourself in his shoes. Life happens and they are unpredictable.

donigspain:
This will be interesting!

There was once a thread like this many years ago. The funniest Nairaland thread ever! Let me get the link.

_____________

Here it is https://www.nairaland.com/897685/share-sexiest-craziest-funniest-unforgettable


Thank me later.

I can't imagine anyone will read this link you shared and then the person will ever think of suicide no matter the situation because any of the stories there can make someone to laugh till you must look stupid.THANKS for sharing.

No dam thing to write about.

I was walking on the street, mum was passing in a taxi, she alighted and asked me who is that boy walking with you and I was like which boy, mama gave me hot slap on the street that I am pretending. I cried and explain at the same time I was walking alone then she said you were walking with that boy, pointing at a boy in the front. She claimed I quickly seperated from the boy when I saw her alighting.
Truly I don't know the boy. But took the greatest embarrassment of my life that day

[color=#770077][/color]

Kryptonvinyl:
Plenty oo. But most of them are cuz of girl issues.


The first one was when me and my neighbors daughter (next compound) we're playing in her house. Her name is Uju. This girl was real bad sha cuz we were just about 7 or 8yrs old back then. Trust Lagos na.
So as we were playing, she said we should do mummy and daddy. So she pulled her panties down and acted like she was sleeping (it was part of the play). So I brought out my tiny dick that did not even stand sef and tried to insert it into her p***y. Right there and then her aunt caught us (her mom wasn't around). So when the mum came back the aunt told her and then she came to tell my parents. I hope y'all know what happened that night na.

Another one. The next year after the above happened. I got so close to our English teacher's daughter who was also in my class. So from play we started discussing. I didn't know this girl was just pretending. She just liked me cuz I buy her snacks and sweet sometimes. Her name is Favour sha. So one friday I asked this girl for a kiss. Gbam ee land me for Principal office the next week. Trust me nah, I denied it. Her mother even hated me self. And worst part is, the whole school heard about it. See shame. But still I denied it even in my dreams


Another one. We were playing in our area when all of a sudden some boys moved into one small kiosk with one girl. I was about 8yrs then. So this guys were touching this girl, who was also my agemate. Sincerely me no follow touch cuz I didn't like the girl. She was kinda dirty. I just watched. But there was one guy that wasn't allowed to touch too. My guy vex go tell her parents. lol. Another beatings.


Another one, this one is not about girls. We visited our village for the first time, Ikot Abasi in Akwa Ibom state. That was in 2006, I was just 7yrs old. So one day we went to the river to bath. Mumu me decided to be walking to the deeper part to see where the water will cover my head. As I was going, i didn't know there was a point where it gets steep immediately. Na so I jump dey call my bros. The idiot to that doesn't know how to swim (me too oo) wanted to coman save me. Him self follow sink. One guy na came to save the 2 of us.
I just Kukuma carry my pant wear dey go my papa house.


I have many more stories. Girls and what have u. My childhood was filled with fun upon fun upon fun. I can never be boring. Not in Lagos, not in Ojo. I started sleeping outside when i was 10 (in front of our varenda oo). We had Xbox at home but I'll still go out to play station center.

I was an ajebo but I still run street small. And for my house na me stubborn pass , disturb my parents, and na me talk girl issues pass. But las las I'll be 21 next week but am still a virgin. lol i wonder how come about that miracle. And now na me humble pass for house lol.

���� I feel you mans, you’re a 1999 baby. Happy birthday in advance. You’re may what?

BISIXCLUSIVE:
That time we live with grandma, has tough as our childhood was, we never Huck, instead we follow our friends dat huck around,for instance if I follow my friend it will be tru out the day, we came back at night and part ways. At Grandma's house we have alot of corners, I will sneak in at nite and went to one corner pretending I've been sleeping there since morning, as if grandma is daft she will give u food that nite and later wake u up in the middle of the night to beat the hell out of u. The most amazing part is that we children Sleep together den... because we are very young,immediately grandma start beating me others will wake up and run for their dear life because they don't know who is next

Another one is.... Whenever you offended do not call neighbors to beg on your behalf, hmmmm na die ooo. If you do that, she will pardon u for that moment, sha follow the neighbor and don't sleep with her in that house, else, you will explain the reason why u offend and the reason why u think neighbor should come and beg her, as she is beating she will be asking you your offense and also asking if you will do that next time, hmmm who born u to say you will do that next time, we are talking about long òmórogun hr

So funny

rejoke:
when I was about five years old, my dad made a law that no body in the house should speak pigin English. either English or Urhobo.. that night was a solemn night for everybody. we were are so mute until he left for work the next day... on returning the next day from work, he enquired "where is makpo"...? no reply" he repeated it like three times, I got tired and decided to try my luck in answering as a waffi girl.. I replied "he is chopping for palor".. see laugh, everybody crawled out of their hiding place, the boisterous laughter that followed was something I could never forget.. and that was how the English matter ended.

ahahahahah
..... so funny

ZINIBANKS:

Lol you be leaner for toasting
Abeg that Bitcoin how he be
I get $25 for my wallet I no even touch the app
I wan leave am for December before I use am do wetin I wan use am do
He fit reach how much for that December time

It depends on how much Bitcoin becomes by December. But Bitcoin will be on increase in the next 10 days as a result of halving.

3434tunde:
Noble71,please i have a new opportunity for bitcoin investment. Pls dm me. on whatsapp 08030559454

What's the investment like? State it here.

This is very interesting. I will surely tell this to other people that they must visit this one. Well, let me introduce you our website https://poolservicesantaana.org/. Our commitment to quality is clear from the always growing list of Santa Ana homeowners and businesses that trust us with their pool needs. We have been the go-to provider of pool repair and maintenance for decades.

I'm still growing up

gowonmaharajah:

(winks).
nice narrative.you write superbly well.

Thanks...

Badtoy:
[color=#770077][/color] ���� I feel you mans, you’re a 1999 baby. Happy birthday in advance. You’re may what?

Boss May 5th. It pains me to see that am getting older. lol.

Well, the funniest thing that happens on me while growing up is when I fart i front of cousins. That was really ridiculous. Everyone was angry at me but later on they laugh. Well, by the way, let me introduce you our website https://poolservicegranadahills.com/. Our services include filter cleaning/replacement, installations, water analysis, tile cleaning, vacation services, servicing all pool types including in-ground, fiberglass, concrete, and more!

On my primary school graduation day when we we're just given our clothes gbam I started looking for my shirt and crying heavily like a new born baby...not knowing that Is one werey girl that replace my shirt with her blouse...I no go ever forgive that girl sha

I have so many experience o. Can't even remember them again self.

Years ago, while men were still boys, we loved Royal rangers then because of their military stunts and the rest. They use to do fall like a dead tree. Naso i go house begin practice fall like a dead tree for our bed. I was so enjoying it until I started trying fall like a dead tree with my back.

On a particular occasion, I miscalculated, na so I fall, my head hit our bead head. I lost consciousness for some time. I recovered myself, and my head was soaked in blood.

I just hid it from my mum because she will kill me once she finds out. Till today, the scar is still in my head.

Another was a day I was very tasty, and I needed water. I was very young then. I was saw my church friend with a gallon. I taught it was water, I pleaded him to give me some to drink. He said I should kneel down and open my mouth so that he can pour water into my mouth.

I agreed now because I was very tasty. Na so I open mouth, this boy carry plenty kerosene turn for my mouth. I gulped it before I could knew it was kero. He ran away and started laughing at me. It was a very horrible experience for me then.

Payper:
Back then in secondary School, one day I saw N100 on the floor during break time, I called my guys and we used the money to buy ice cream.
On our way home I searched my pockets for my tfare and couldn't find it.
I didn't know that the N100 I saw on the floor then was my tfare that fell out of my pocket.
My guys shaa actually walked home with me.

So funny.

donigspain:
This will be interesting!

There was once a thread like this many years ago. The funniest Nairaland thread ever! Let me get the link.

_____________

Here it is https://www.nairaland.com/897685/share-sexiest-craziest-funniest-unforgettable


Thank me later.

LWKMD!!!
Walahi!!!! I have been reading them since last night... I have never laughed so hard in my life...
Thanks for d link...

oluwaseyi0:
FRAUD ALERT

The advert below is from one fraudster called
Aminu Adulwaheed with UBA account number 2116086231

he keeps changing moniker and phone number, he blocks people immediately they transfer to him

more people confirming his fraud antics https://www.nairaland.com/5790026/fraud-account-nairalander#88380829
https://www.nairaland.com/5780209/internet-data-scammed-aminullahi-abdulwaheed

He tried to scam me few days ago
He’s always in his Hausa attire and cap
Simply report his WhatsApp number so it can be blocked
That guy is a pandemic scammer.

jenniferokoh89:
Well ..I just finished waec..got home and met some of these my old paddies that were attending day school..so due to youthful exuberance I join some bad boys and started smoking weed..na so one of my guy joined too and claimed he had been smoking way before me..the first day we entered jungle with this guy ..after we finish smoking pkoli..my guy that sat with his legs crossed started crying that he could not stand up cuz he was looking for his second leg

burst that way!!! This guy don off me! This guy don kill me eeeeeh!

Dad told me to top the water in his radiator. i took a bucket filled with water to his car, opened the engine oil cover instead. i emptied the whole water in it. Dad came out and asked me where the remaining water is because he wanted to rinse the side mirror. i told him i poured it in the radiator. he shouted and asked me to show him where i poured the water in. naso my dad shout say i wan knock im engine for m. he called his mechanic.
local man felt stupid eh

2011 when i was writing waec, a tout came into our examination hall with a dagger and clean everybody including the invigilator, fear catch am he nor know say na warri e dey.. base on street smartness the tout no see my sh1t take.. we nor dey put money for pocket na socks we dey put am..

Mehn.. I nor fit forget dat day.. it was as if the guy dey collect offering, from sit to sit,, but dem later collect some of the stuffs back, at least all the phones, after involving the community chairman.. some of us know the guy, so we had to snitch so that we can write the paper

Fear who no fear waff town...

rejoke:
when I was about five years old, my dad made a law that no body in the house should speak pigin English. either English or Urhobo.. that night was a solemn night for everybody. we were are so mute until he left for work the next day... on returning the next day from work, he enquired "where is makpo"...? no reply" he repeated it like three times, I got tired and decided to try my luck in answering as a waffi girl.. I replied "he is chopping for palor".. see laugh, everybody crawled out of their hiding place, the boisterous laughter that followed was something I could never forget.. and that was how the English matter ended.

The very best so far. I'm still laughing hard as I'm typing. You try gather the mind wella then.

Hypocrit:
i go soon kon drop my own...
.
For primary 6 that year, me and one of my guy kon dey play robb (robb for cold and pain) play to know who get strong eye pass... He go put robb for my eye, i go put for e own--- na person wey first cry or run nai lose. We kon do each other so tay i kon notice say the thing no dey peper am too much (and other students dey put fire)... I plan another way to make sure he hear am--- i kon run go my grandma place (as e no far from the school)--- i reach there collect aboniki balm (for my guy mind say i don run) so e no expect am as everybody don lock up. As i reach there with the aboniki balm from back, i park am full he eye--- the kind shout wey i hear as if kill person (my eye oo! You don blind blind my eye!) with so many jumping and demonstration like person wey dey disco hall (i kon feel say my guy don turn babiyala) na so fear hold me. That moment i be like person wey dey answer alter call for crusade--- kon dey beg my guy... make e sorry, make e take am easy as i no know say e go be like that. To cut the long story short--- na four senior students suspend me for air for the flogging i receive that day--- i received at least 30 strokes for my back with no ability to run as i was hold to one place--- my principal kon be igbo smoker join. It is quite funny now but was never funny then. Na me warn my guy make e no follow me play again. But we later settle sha.

You try sha. If na me I for don faint

Ebifa85:
I still remember this one. I was in pry 6 by then, i and my frnd chigozie (RIP) were playing on a mango tree, jumping frm one branch to another like a monkey. I was claming super man doing my jumping in style, all of a sudden i slipped frm one of the branch and fell like a heavy coconut on the ground,., instead of my frnd to say sorry to me, he was busy laughing at me like a mad man. It is stil a memory in my mind, i stood up angrily and went home.

LOL he no send u msg na. If na me na d same thing I go do

Drizzy5001:
Back in those days as a kid, I grew in the north ...me and my friends had this habit of hanging on top any pick up (van) that passes our street , and when the driver discovers and stops,and starts shouting that we should come down ... We will all run away so one afternoon like that I come see pick up wey dey pass for my street and na Nepa people own , na so me and my guy jump on top ... The driver sef no even know , for our mind we just want enjoy lift small, na so dis man begin run speed oo , we come dey confuse , na that moment wey I come know say I'm finished I come begin dey remember all the warning wey mama don dey warn about jumping pickup, so we come dey shout na im dey driver hear us come stop , unfortunately my dad was on his way home , he was surprised, he asked what was going on the driver, told him , na so my dad draw my ear from that point reach our yard ... the kain beating wey I chop that day eeh and my friend was not left out , he got his own share of the beatings from his mum, my sister now came and did amebo that I stole 2 meats from the pot of soup chaaai, the beating continued, I come kneel down for 3 hours ...

E be like say u offend GOD na why God rule out that day say you must receive am by force by fire.

thatsleepboy1:

You try sha. If na me I for don faint

my spirit run leave me.

Badtoy:
[color=#770077][/color] ���� I feel you mans, you’re a 1999 baby. Happy birthday in advance. You’re may what?

I be 1999 too but July. I be Wizkid birthday mate. July 16

The only funny thing that comes to my mind is the scenario of the first time I got kissed by a girl.........lol


I was in this relationship with a girl older than me with about 2 or 3yrs, really can't remember. She came to visit me and it was time for her to leave so i went to see her off on a cool evening.

We got to this very lonely road, just like a flash. she bent my head over coz I was taller, placed her lips on mine for a kiss that lasted for at least 5 seconds.


I struggled to release myself from her which I did, she started laughing because she could see the shyness all over me.


Before she knew it, I ran back to my house without saying bye to her, the race back to the house took almost 5 mins but I never stopped nor looked back. Voom! I ran straight to the bathroom, picked up my toothbrush.........you no the rest of the story!!!!!!

solasoulmusic:
Danger Hill bike ride lol I remembered because I saw a man get off his bicycle to walk the rest of the way down today and I remembered how daredevil we were with bikes twice as big as we were

The hill has dangerous bumps not spaced out correctly and a steep slope that without good brakes your a goner you will roll a bit well I didn’t roll but I scraped my foot on the pedal it wasn’t funny but it was like a testament to just Mumu living and follow follow Wetin carry me there na all of us.

Funny enough everytime I’ve gotten hurt I’ve been convinced by others lmao
That’s the funny part

The joy of finally being able to ride a bike in my late 20s made me take on an adventure.

I was going down hill at a very high speed when I lost control and fell. I sustained multiple injuries on different parts of my body including my palms.

Though the crash didn't stop me from continuing the adventure, but it took time before my injuries healed.

It happened on the 11th of march this year.

IAmTobore:
The joy of finally being able to ride a bike in my late 20s made me take on an adventure.

I was going down hill at a very high speed when I lost control and fell. I sustained multiple injuries on different parts of my body including my palms.

Though the crash didn't stop me from continuing the adventure, but it took time before my injuries healed.

It happened on the 11th of march this year.

I’m sorry to hear that ... more healing to you I hear you ...sometimes you learn from the pain what you did wrong I pressed on the breaks to hard and then going over the bump didn’t help at all