₦airaland Forum

Kingarthur21:
the earlier this ladies realise that they are shooting themselves on the foot with the man hating feminism peddled now(I am not referring to genuine elevation of the girl child which I support) the better.

Here is a statement if regret from a former modern feminist:

Feminism freed men, not women. Now men are spared the nuisance of a wife and family to support. After childbirth, if his wife's waist doesn't return to 20 inches, the husband can go out and get a more petite woman. It's far more difficult for the wife, now tied down with a baby, to find a new man. My blind date that Friday waved goodbye as he drove off in his RV. I walked home and paid the sitter with laundry quarters.
Feminism made women disposable. So today a lot of females are around 40 and single with a couple of kids to raise on their own. Child-support payments might pay for a few pairs of shoes, but in general, feminism gave men all the financial and personal advantages over women.

What's worse, we asked for it. Many women decided: you don't need a family structure to raise your children. We packed them off to day-care centers where they could get their nurturing from professionals.

IhateThemMods:
It all started when women thought they could a thing and get away with it.

Magnoliaa:
And all I've said are what was, what is, what will be. You can keep elaborating, and trying to make me look anyhow....And get this: you set up women to be the cause of men's woes. I've only been against that. Get it again: you talked of matriarchy being this and that, still men did all.



Patriarchy is both definitions. However and why it came up doesn't change the fact of its design, structure. Something can end up being in a particular form without an intention.



It is both. The same way those archaic practices were stopped is the same way patriarchy will be dismantled... only difference is, those have stopped. Patriarchy still exists. Its error is still happening. On a daily basis. Twins are not being killed anymore, so that comparison is not equal.



Traits *that are* encouraged in men that are harmful to themselves, and the society in the long run. So, not all masculine traits are toxic. https://www.apa.org/pi/about/newsletter/2018/09/harmful-masculinity

Also, I mentioned there were necessary, beneficial, but healthy? No.

The world is advancing faster than our traditional beliefs.
So, toxic femininity can be DEFINED with the same words for toxic masculinity, just switch some things. But that is not a huge threat, it most likely will only have bearing on the women themselves.

What you stated in the last lines below is a misrepresentation.



https://www.google.com/amp/s/markmanson.net/whats-the-problem-with-masculinity/amp

It's enlightening. I'm not posting it for argument's sake.




What ever you want to think.. My point is those characteristics(for men and women) are not the ultimate now. Women were not useless in the past.





Yayy. So let's move forward and choose whatever social roles we want. You don't hunt anymore, you don't fight wars anymore. Our lives also do not revolve around fertility. Are those *fixed social* roles for a gender necessary? Our survival as a race still depend on them?

I may be simplifying phenomena that's been for centuries, but we start somewhere... A sudden change in people's mindsets can not just happen.




Did I ever object this being the case? Go through my very first response. I explained it to kingarthur too. You can't demand for something you oppose its happening. If more women were in the workforce, and are socialized into being outdoors, they'll die.




Because most women are ignorant, repressed when it comes to sex. There are actually more compared to the number of women who are exposed.



In the minority. The men who take their time and care are few.



All these are unnecessary if you comprehended my point.

I: men do things for their ego.
You and him: yes, so? Why? What do women do? Is it not oppression? Men are disposable. They do it because...

And I'm coming back to say it's ego. That stands. Okafor's law, everything... it's ego.




I mentioned all that about the past just to show that things you all do are motivated by ego. Dying, having sex, making more money. You were trying to say that men do these things for women alone. That it's not about the ego.




Thank you for mentioning that @bolded. I really appreciate it. Now if I say you're selfish, you'd want to have my head.

If you're having sex, the pleasure of the other is goal.

Some time ago, you were talking about how chastity is the standard for women in society and sexual prowess is for men. So does it not make sense to think women will wait on a man to do all the work?

I know, women should not fake orgasm and just 'lay' there, that's not how it's supposed to be.

That's what the society is, and I was only pointing out whyy they do it.

Kingarthur21:
actually feminism was needed at some point,else ladies will not be educated,men will get away with rape,they will not even have access to the internet...
A revolution was needed. But not this type as we know that is not focused on elevating the girl child but making comparisons with men and dragging over petty things instead of big issues.
How many feminists have campaigned for the release of Leah shiruba or chibok girls?

Last year in Nigeria,I was at an eatery. I asked the waitress if she was in the university (I am fond of asking girls if they are in school). She said she scored 243 in Jamb,got admission in Abia State university but the father refused to pay the acceptance fee. His reasons?he can't pay that jumbo sum for a girl since she will end up in a man's home as a house wife so she had to source for funds by working.

How many feminists will take this up?their own is just to argue online about packing of their husband plates.
Modern feminism is a joke

Kingarthur21:
the earlier this ladies realise that they are shooting themselves on the foot with the man hating feminism peddled now(I am not referring to genuine elevation of the girl child which I support) the better.

Here is a statement of regret from a former modern feminist:

Feminism freed men, not women. Now men are spared the nuisance of a wife and family to support. After childbirth, if his wife's waist doesn't return to 20 inches, the husband can go out and get a more petite woman. It's far more difficult for the wife, now tied down with a baby, to find a new man. My blind date that Friday waved goodbye as he drove off in his RV. I walked home and paid the sitter with laundry quarters.
Feminism made women disposable. So today a lot of females are around 40 and single with a couple of kids to raise on their own. Child-support payments might pay for a few pairs of shoes, but in general, feminism gave men all the financial and personal advantages over women.

What's worse, we asked for it. Many women decided: you don't need a family structure to raise your children. We packed them off to day-care centers where they could get their nurturing from professionals.

pansophist:
The nairaland's resident feminists are probably based abroad, or at least middle class in Nigeria with time and comfort. .

pansophist:
Feminism is a cancer of developed, service-driven societies, alongside depression, lack of purpose, and wage slavery.

If you observe, it is the rich countries, a countries that untold amount of men have sacrificed their lives to build, are the ones that has feminism. Life became so perfect, and women became so bored. In Europe, it is the UK, Germany, Ireland, Sweden, etc have man-hating feminists. You won't find them in Russia, Ukraine, Serbia, or countries still trying to be developed. The nairaland's resident feminists are probably based abroad, or at least middle class in Nigeria with time and comfort. So as men are working hard to make life better for the society and their women, expect that in the future, she may call men oppressors for their sacrifices.

This is the first time in the history of humanity that people can actually be bored because of not having anything to do. If you go to rural areas of Nigeria, there is no such thing as boredom there, at least compared to cities. They are either farming, working, walking, or just engaged in physical activities that eliminate the possibility to be idle and digest feminist propaganda. Furthermore, and importantly, I find it deeply sad that African women drink without questions anything that comes from the west, just as they wear foreign hair. You will hardly see any Asian or Indian women drag their men to the western divorce court to rob. These women understood that feminism is a western thing, and not their fight.

The end goal of feminism is the destruction of the nuclear family, and it is successfully reaching its goal so far. Marriage is plummeting sharply in Nigeria, whenever I visit, I see this high-class level of Nigerian women that have reached the zenith of their career but going to an empty house. A deep stares into their eyes, it becomes evident that they are lonely and need affection. Perhaps you can have it all, I guess? I have many well to do friends in Lagos that will rather just Bleep around than marry because they think it makes no sense. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Truly, feminism freed men, no need to voluntarily become the sacrificial lamb of a woman, and that is beautiful.

Kingarthur21:
WTF...the street urchins on nairaland are who you call feminists? Aside pocco who is not even a feminist but believe in fairness, and few others. How many
NL ladies have money??

truthsayer009:
You must read oh, you go read this one

I can tell you with my chest that none of us will ever be free, Man's nature will always come to play as so as women too. Covering up feelings is part of Men's nature.

Women are expressive with their feelings because it is their nature.

Women will always be hypergamous because it's their nature, a woman may have 10M but she will still have butterflies in her tummy over 200k you promised her.

You can take care of a woman for 15yrs. Once she start feeding you for 3 months, your marriage is in Jeopardy. It's their nature.

Men want to assert control because it's their nature, they want to have dominance, this includes dismissing opinions of others.

We as humans can make constitutional laws to reduce this, but natural laws will always come to play.

Reason why I never go Dutch on any date, i know deep down Nigerian Women HATE to split bills with passion.

CAPSLOCKED:
3. IN TOTAL.

Kingarthur21:
you were hated not just because of your truth but because of your man-hating and shaming which you have stopped.


Men set their standards and how they want to live,if the women are dumb enough to accept it then it's not men putting women down but women dancing to the tune of men.

I agree Africa endorsed depravity of men but will you deny things are changing?divorce rates are higher now,women are the ones with the power,pinch a lady and human rights activists will move with banners and the men persecuted.
The society is making up for women. All you have to do is make a post with supporting pictures online and wait for the world to come to your rescue.

I saw a post of a lady stripped for stealing,the people who stripped her have being arrested while for decades men have been lynched and burned to death for stealing yet the perpetrators go scot free.

You talked of endorsing polygamy,with the rate of paternity fraud now you are yet to realise that women are now the main cheats in marriage/dating. Were you not the one that gave excuse for a lady that slept with her gym instructor? If tables were turned you will call it male depravity.


The society has done more to speak for women that they have become gynocentric and no man speaks for males. What else do you want from the society? The entire nation supported bukola dakola (without concrete evidence of the rape),they are many social media handles and pages that are pro-woman,even men now speak up for women and call their fellow men pigs. So how is the society enabling subjugation of women?

More awareness is created for paedophilia and rape.
Was a senator not taken to court after slapping a lady? Are NGOs and celebrities not helping the girl child?how about the little girl called success that is now enjoying scholarship?
Was Yerima not opposed when he married a 13 year old girl years back? So who are those that are encouraging men to misbehave?

You should know when the battle is won and advice your fellow girls make wise use of the power they now have.

You say the society will call a lot of women arrogant for real? Are you not following current trends? Who are the CEOs we have now? Go to Instagram and see ladies advertising their makeup and clothing brands. How about Jaaruma,the leading sex therapist in Nigeria making her own name despite having a husband? Except they are ghosts you are referring to but i don't know any male that put ladies down for being successful more than their partners,perhaps it existed in our fathers time but not now...


If successful ladies hide their wealth and attribute it to their husbands its probably out if fear that YOU(FUNMI) will call them pick mesha for not marrying a man more wealthy than them . Did society tell the liar amatarasha to lie about having a husband or him taking her to Siberia?

To ladies,being successful is having a man higher than them in finances, that caters for them,anything short of that is being pickmesha so the ones who aren't lucky that jam wealthy men have to lie to prevent people from calling them pickmesha.

Redpillers speak their truth the way you speak yours. They have a healthy self-esteem and want the best for themselves ,if you don't know there are redpills for ladies as well on reddits.The idea of them wanting the best and seeking for men interest is what you call narcissistic and oppose but when you encourage ladies to seek out themselves and set high standards you see nothing wrong with it.

The summary of my epistle is that the narrative is changed, women are getting powerful by the day,anyone lady that still gets burnt didn't play her cards well or is not wise

pansophist:
http://www.icyousee.org/titanic.html


[/b][/b]And I agree with you that we should move forward and there should be no gender role, but if moving forward is understood to be that if there are 50 male and 30 female doctors, then it is oppression because there it is not equal, then it is rubbish. Equality of opportunity should be the goal, not equality of outcome. A notable example is the Scandinavia, a society that is praised globally for being the most equal. For example in Sweden (a country that prides itself as feminist heaven, with the feminist government), it has been observed that the more equal a society becomes, the more obvious it is that women and men are attracted to different professions. In STEM (science, technology, engineering, and maths) professions, it is majority men (even though the country have an untold amount of scholarship available only to women to pursue STEM professions), they still choose to do professions that are typical to women such as hospitality, services, and health. So yes, we should move forward, but don't come and say there is a wage gap, men earn higher because they choose difficult subjects that pay more, such as underwater pipe laying, high rise construction, and working in the middle of the Atlantic ocean in the oil rig[/b][/b]


And about sexual satisfaction, it is okay to disagree with me, but it not okay to deliberately misunderstand my point. Sex is not for the other, it is for both. We both have to enjoy it. Will you have sex with a guy because you want to satisfy him, or because you want to enjoy it yourself as well? Sexually, men are not selfish. Part of the reason why women hardly reach orgasm is not that the men can not satisfy them, it is because, by default, it is difficult for women to reach orgasm compared to men. Women's sexual organs are more advanced and complicated than men, and even when a woman service herself, she may not even reach orgasm, but a man servicing himself can reach orgasm in 2 mins. See the difference?

pansophist:
Feminism is a cancer of developed, service-driven societies, alongside depression, lack of purpose, and wage slavery.

If you observe, it is the rich countries, a countries that untold amount of men have sacrificed their lives to build, are the ones that has feminism. Life became so perfect, and women became so bored. In Europe, it is the UK, Germany, Ireland, Sweden, etc have man-hating feminists. You won't find them in Russia, Ukraine, Serbia, or countries still trying to be developed. The nairaland's resident feminists are probably based abroad, or at least middle class in Nigeria with time and comfort. So as men are working hard to make life better for the society and their women, expect that in the future, she may call men oppressors for their sacrifices.

This is the first time in the history of humanity that people can actually be bored because of not having anything to do. If you go to rural areas of Nigeria, there is no such thing as boredom there, at least compared to cities. They are either farming, working, walking, or just engaged in physical activities that eliminate the possibility to be idle and digest feminist propaganda. Furthermore, and importantly, I find it deeply sad that African women drink without questions anything that comes from the west, just as they wear foreign hair. You will hardly see any Asian or Indian women drag their men to the western divorce court to rob. These women understood that feminism is a western thing, and not their fight.

The end goal of feminism is the destruction of the nuclear family, and it is successfully reaching its goal so far. Marriage is plummeting sharply in Nigeria, whenever I visit, I see this high-class level of Nigerian women that have reached the zenith of their career but going to an empty house. A deep stares into their eyes, it becomes evident that they are lonely and need affection. Perhaps you can have it all, I guess? I have many well to do friends in Lagos that will rather just Bleep around than marry because they think it makes no sense. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Truly, feminism freed men, no need to voluntarily become the sacrificial lamb of a woman, and that is beautiful.

Gerrard59:
At the bold, that was the breaking point for me regarding feminism. Hirthero, I got engrossed by the media and being someone that promotes fairness (borne out of merit), I fell for the antics of feminism. However, when I kept reading articles calling for gender pay equality meanwhile tons of research findings have proved that it does not exists, I rebelled. I recall few years ago, The Economist magazine was at the forefront of advocating for equal pay but later started publishing articles which corroborated the bolded statement. [b]The editors later conceded that men will always earn higher and started championing that men should partake in chores so as to reduce the pay gap (which does not exists in the first place if one understands it fully). She also published the results of the survey which researched about the bold and clearly, one will see that enforcing equal outcomes do not work (it has not worked anywhere in history).

Upon further research, I found out that men and women are not equal biologically and because of this, they make different choices. MRI scans of a healthy man's and woman's brains are not the same and as little as it might seem, this contributes to divergence in choices which have consequences (negative or positive). Furthermore, men have evolutionarily over the years being the provider and this means they would go on to enter high paying industries (which is largely based on simple economics) because they have to fend for their families. Simply put, men earn more because they are providing for the family as dictated by evolution. In return, women are hypergamous which means they would always want/desire to date/marry men who earn more than they do. In the field of medicine, the specialty (Obs & Gyn) is dominated by men not because the vagina is the most beautiful organ but it is one of the highest paying specialities ditto for plastic surgery (the most popular of such in Nigeria is a man). Even in an industry like the biotech where women almost constitute 50% of employees, men earn higher because they go all the way to do so. Certain factors inhibit women's chances most notably motherhood but that is nature and not any fault of patriarchy or whatever jargon they spew these days. It is not a man's fault that women are the only carriers of babies and natural caregiver (an industry they dominate). [/b]

Currently, women dominate the nursing industry but I can wager that after this pandemic and investment is channelled there; the industry will be flooded by men and by then, men will earn higher than women. It is also funny that these feminists never champion for equal pay in industries like modelling or dancers in sporting events or pornography. They respond by saying men should champion these calls but why attack the principles of simple economics that govern a particular industry? Going forward, equal opportunities is the answer not equal outcomes (no two individuals are equal not even twins). Hypocritically, these persons champion diversity and its benefits largely because people are different. If so, why do they expect outcomes to be the same? When there are more males in physics, mathematics, chemistry classes, how on earth do people expect females to earn equal pay with their male counterparts? Simple probability says it is not possible no matter what HR (which is dominated by women unlike the high paying strategic positions) policy is constituted.

Ariza:
Honestly when I read that piece, I was confused and comments didn't help matters either. All those who commented both male and female are right. Upon more meditation I realized the following :
1) Hasty Generalization : It's funny how the poster put everyone in a box and conclude what gender hurt which gender. When the truth is both genders hurt each other.Some Men aren't trained to be dictators, abrasive, abusers or manipulators like the writer poised.Like you said, you weren't brought up that way, same as my brothers.Same way some women aren't trained to be dependent or overly docile.The society isn't as harsh as it is painted because with every passing generation human relations gets more interactive, persuasive and fairer. Yes there's room for improvement but then we should dwell on old narratives like nothing changed.

2) The victim Card: I couldn't help but notice how the writer spent 99.9% of his article to condemn Men,'s actions but spared only four or three line to point out women's errors. And i ask, what/is life 'all' fair to Men? Who spends his life running here and there just to make life better for the opposite sex? Who goes to war to defend the territory? , who gets killed trying to protect another life? Who labours, tilled the ground, get his hands stained only to feed another being with hands and legs too? Who does odd jobs to cater for the family only to be rewarded with stipends in his old age because he lost his children's love to the mother who is always available.? Who the children judge inappropriately and condemns because he wasn't there to show He is a good man contrary to what the mother fed them? The list goes on and on... Men are also victims of society same as women But we downplay what men suffer because 'we' have been made to believe that Men are strong and infallible.Why do women have the right to cry out but Men don't? Why do people listen more when woman speak but Men are expected to die in silence?. Once again the society wasn't /isn't fair to both genders.


3) The choice : The beauty of it all is, we have the chance to choose. In our world today, there are lots of opportunities to choose from. If any woman desire freedom, She can have it. However it will be very foolish and vain of her to expect benefits patriarchy offers.She shouldn't expect to be fend for, fought for, or be looked out for.
If any Man wants freedom, he shouldn't expect benefits patriarchy offers either. He shouldn't expect to be nurtured, cared for or supported. Both Man and Woman would be PARTNERS of equal responsibilities and gains.


In Conclusion, Men and Women should know that they aren't created the same way neither are they created to be competitors but to complement one another. Both genders should learn to bring their strengths and weaknesses together and endeavour to make themselves better.