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The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon - Romance - Nairaland

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The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Ishilove: 12:48am On Apr 30, 2020
I never give relationship advice on my Facebook page. That's not what this is. Today, I will just talk about Men who Hate Women, and the Women that Love them.

Do you know how to "razzle" babes? I do now. But I wasn't born with that knowledge. I had to learn how.

Growing up as a kid in Nigeria wasn't easy. Our parents mostly tried their best to instill the values handed down to them from their parents, but raising a child in Africa is to a large extent a community effort. Your parents too learnt from their community.

Besides there were some things you had to learn on your own. There was a lot of trial and error. A lot of cuts, bruises, scraped knees, butted heads and broken bones. Physical and mental scars.

The emotional pain was real but never acknowledged. As a teenager getting to know yourself, navigating social interactions and romantic relationships was taboo but essential knowlege.

Nowadays kids have counsellors, psychologists, the internet, xanax, phones and all that to deal with that stuff.

Those days you had your hand and a copy of Lolly magazine.

But you still had to get laid.

The girls too were naive, brainwashed, misinformed, conflicted, indoctrinated, caged, paranoid and Hot. Abused and scarred. Just like the boys.

Hurt people, hurt people. You cannot give what you don't have. The blind cannot lead the blind. Nobody is perfect and you are constrained to work with what you have.

In the state we were in, we were in no condition to love ourselves. But we had to love somebody. Even if we didn't know how.

But how does a monster love a ghost? The worlds leading psychotherapists armed with encephalographs and MRI machines would have a hard time diagnosing what our major malfunction actually was today. In those days, as a teenage boy, as a young man, you had to figure out a young woman.

Some people spend their whole lives trying to figure women out. They never do. Women are not designed to be figured out. But people know stuff. Arcane knowledge exists. Some boys were much better at it than others. We looked up to them. If you were lucky, your older brother would pull you aside. If you were curious enough you would ask or watch a "successful" friend. If you were desperate enough you would pay the street jock money. If you were nice enough your own sister would sit you down.

"You're getting it wrong." "You're overthinking it." "You've watched too many Disney cartoons." "It's really quite simple." "It's only that it's counterintuitive." "Let me teach you." "You're a sharp guy." "You will learn."

And so we learnt.

We learnt how to be a sexist.

We learnt how to be scum.

We learnt how not to value women.

We learnt how to get women drunk and take advantage of them.

We learnt how to emotionally abuse women.

We learnt how to emotionally manipulate women.

We learnt how to give half compliments.

We learnt how to keep a womans Ego in check.

We learnt how to bully women.

We learnt that men are superior to women.

We learnt how to exploit women.

We learnt that women were supposed to clean up after me.

We learnt that it was a womans duty to cook for me.

We learnt that even the finest woman is insecure about her looks.

We learnt that no matter what a woman does or achieves, at the end of the day I am still superior to her.

We learnt that a woman should be careful the way she talks to me.

We learnt that women are not very intelligent.

We learnt that no woman is complete if she is not under a man.

We learnt that unmarried women of a certain age have something wrong with them.

We learnt that most women are cheap.

We learnt that women are vulnerable to flattery.

We learnt that most married women are sex starved.

We learnt that single mothers are desperate and easy picking.

We learnt that once you promise a girl marriage she will do anything you ask.

We learnt that if you don't occasionally beat your girlfriend she will insult you.

We learnt that if a woman thinks she is too good for you, you can guilt her into a relationship by calling her proud.

We learnt that if you want to control a single womans behaviour, threaten her that she will die single.

We learnt that if you want to insult a married woman, tell her that you have a woman like her at home.

We learnt that if you want to shame a woman, call her a prostitute.

We learnt that you can rape and subsequently blackmail a girl into becoming your girlfriend.

We learnt that in a relationship, I can cheat, but my Girlfriend is not allowed to.

We learnt that if a girl visits you, she's asking for it.

We learnt that if a girl dresses provocatively, she is Hot.

We learnt how to intimidate a girl into giving me her phone number.

We learnt that women would do anything for money.

We learnt that you can stalk a girl into becoming your girlfriend.

We learnt how to flash my erect penis.

We learnt that when a woman says No, sometimes she means yes.

We learnt that once you buy a girl anything and she accepts, she owes you sex.

We learnt that women feel inferior without being claimed by a man.

We learnt that women are ungrateful so you have to get your reward instantly before they forget what you've done for them.

We learnt that women don't know what they want.

We learnt that if you help a woman you have to sleep with her or you're a fool.

We learnt that if you have an opportunity to Bleep a woman and you don't, you have lost her respect.

This is what Nigerian women don't understand. We, Nigerian men, actually intentionally, through conscious effort, learnt this behaviour. But that's not the strangest part.

The strangest part, the reason why we find it so hard to unlearn this behaviour, is that most of the time, maybe 7 times out of 10, IT WORKS.

22 Likes 3 Shares

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Ishilove: 12:49am On Apr 30, 2020
Don't ask me why. My best guess is that it has something to do with the way Nigerian women themselves were raised. Or embedded deep inside the limbic brain where the red neck lizard lies doing pressups while the female lizard arches her back.

The Dog Faced Baboon and his Harem.

It takes a level of maturity (no correlation with age), it takes a level of empathy, it takes a degree self control, it takes self awareness, it takes honor, it takes patience, it takes tolerance, it takes money and a lot of the time it takes a lot of gullibility to treat your average Nigerian woman with respect.

Those who do it are those enlightened enough to enjoy the luxury of a conscience. To the vast majority it is a worthless proposition. A thankless labour. An expense of resources they cannot and need not afford.

I will tell you something that sounds even more twisted. Your average Nigerian woman will lose respect for you if you respect her or other women in her presence. She will quickly label you soft, woman wrapper, weak, gay, "this one wife go dey control am", "na man be this?", or just plain mugu.

The average Nigerian woman longs to be domesticated by her man.

So do not blame the men who became adept at the game you taught us. They are the Masters of the game you both play. If you don't like the game, don't play it. Make your own rules and stick by them. Be the change you desire.

The Truth shall set you Free.

https://m.facebook.com/1245261394/posts/10222562043060210/?from_close_friend=1&notif_id=1588090302088358&notif_t=close_friend_activity&ref=notif

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Ibmswapzer(m): 12:52am On Apr 30, 2020
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by eezeribe(m): 12:54am On Apr 30, 2020
OK
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by DateMynd44(m): 12:55am On Apr 30, 2020
RUBBISH POST.
I wonder who will have the time to read this long and useless epistle

31 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Mstick: 1:00am On Apr 30, 2020
Ok nice write up, will watch in the shadows while you get mauled by the hyenas.

grin grin

5 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by SeverusSnape(m): 1:02am On Apr 30, 2020
DateMynd44:
RUBBISH POST.
I wonder who will have the time to read this long and useless epistle
You don't need to wonder, because yours sincerely read it to the end... and it makes a whole lot of sense.

Many women won't admit it, but subconsciously, They want to always be below a man. They are naturally hypergamous.

16 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by spongeisback: 1:07am On Apr 30, 2020
If you truly read the post as you claim, you wouldn't make this comment.

grin
SeverusSnape:

You don't need to wonder, because yours sincerely read it to the end... and it makes a whole lot of sense.

Many women won't admit it, but subconsciously, They want to always be below a man. They are naturally hypergamous.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by SeverusSnape(m): 1:13am On Apr 30, 2020
spongeisback:
If you truly read the post as you claim, you wouldn't make this comment.

grin
Well, I read it, And that's my opinion on the issue.

It doesn't matter how anyone tries to paint it. Women like to be subdued by men. **shrugs**

9 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by spongeisback: 1:15am On Apr 30, 2020
Once again you didn't read the OP, if you did you wouldn't make this comment. Your comments are totally off the point. Read and understand the OP.

SeverusSnape:
Well, I read it, And that's my opinion on the issue.

It doesn't matter how anyone tries to paint it. Women like to be subdued by men. **shrugs**

5 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by SeverusSnape(m): 1:17am On Apr 30, 2020
spongeisback:
Once again you didn't read the OP, if you did you wouldn't make this comment.

Once again, I read the OP. And that was my comment. Thanks

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by DateMynd44(m): 1:17am On Apr 30, 2020
SeverusSnape:

You don't need to wonder, because yours sincerely read it to the end... and it makes a whole lot of sense.

Many women won't admit it, but subconsciously, They want to always be below a man. They are naturally hypergamous.
thanks for the abstract.
I was probably too lazy cos twas too bulky.
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by doitforyou(f): 1:18am On Apr 30, 2020
spongeisback:
If you truly read the post as you claim, you wouldn't make this comment.

grin
His analysis of the OP is correct. The author highlights the toxicity in our patriarchal society then went on to conclude Nigerian men get away with sexism, rape and a host of other toxic behaviors because Nigerian women love being subjugated and treated like thrash.

spongeisback:
No he's not. Like the author said
"The girls too were naive, brainwashed, misinformed, conflicted, indoctrinated, caged, paranoid and Hot. Abused and scarred." So how can he claim women are hypergamous in nature when it's something that was learnt?! How can women subconsciously want to be subjects to men if they weren't given a choice?





So, the author is saying Nigerian women were raised to accept patriarchy?

19 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by spongeisback: 1:18am On Apr 30, 2020
Your comments are TOTALLY OFFPOINT for someone who claims to have read the OP.
SeverusSnape:

Once again, I read the OP. And that was my comment. Thanks

5 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by SeverusSnape(m): 1:19am On Apr 30, 2020
spongeisback:
Your comments are TOTALLY OFFPOINT for someone who claims to have read the OP.
OKAY.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by SeverusSnape(m): 1:21am On Apr 30, 2020
doitforyou:

He is correct. The author highlights the toxicity in our patriarchal society then went on to conclude Nigerian men get away with sexism, rape and a host of other toxic behaviors because Nigerian women love being subjugated and treated like thrash.
Very Simple. You got it very right.

2 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by ChizzyBuna(m): 1:23am On Apr 30, 2020
We learnt that you can rape and subsequently blackmail a girl into becoming your girlfriend.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by spongeisback: 1:23am On Apr 30, 2020
No he's not. Like the author said
"The girls too were naive, brainwashed, misinformed, conflicted, indoctrinated, caged, paranoid and Hot. Abused and scarred." So how can he claim women are hypergamous in nature when it's something that was learnt?! How can women subconsciously want to be subjects to men if they weren't given a choice?




doitforyou:

He is correct. The author highlights the toxicity in our patriarchal society then went on to conclude Nigerian men get away with sexism, rape and a host of other toxic behaviors because Nigerian women love being subjugated and treated like thrash.

7 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by doitforyou(f): 1:29am On Apr 30, 2020
DP
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by spongeisback: 1:42am On Apr 30, 2020
I guess the sentence before that didn't catch your fancy then,

I will tell you something that sounds even more twisted. Your average Nigerian woman will lose respect for you if you respect her or other women in her presence. She will quickly label you soft, woman wrapper, weak, gay, "this one wife go dey control am", "na man be this?", or just plain mugu.


The writer is writing from the believe of an average man.
Ishilove:


Don't ask me why. My best guess is that it has something to do with the way Nigerian women themselves were raised. Or embedded deep inside the limbic brain where the red neck lizard lies doing pressups while the female lizard arches her back.

The Dog Faced Baboon and his Harem.

It takes a level of maturity (no correlation with age), it takes a level of empathy, it takes a degree self control, it takes self awareness, it takes honor, it takes patience, it takes tolerance, it takes money and a lot of the time it takes a lot of gullibility to treat your average Nigerian woman with respect.

Those who do it are those enlightened enough to enjoy the luxury of a conscience. To the vast majority it is a worthless proposition. A thankless labour. An expense of resources they cannot and need not afford.

I will tell you something that sounds even more twisted. Your average Nigerian woman will lose respect for you if you respect her or other women in her presence. She will quickly label you soft, woman wrapper, weak, gay, "this one wife go dey control am", "na man be this?", or just plain mugu.

The average Nigerian woman longs to be domesticated by her man.

So do not blame the men who became adept at the game you taught us. They are the Masters of the game you both play. If you don't like the game, don't play it. Make your own rules and stick by them. Be the change you desire.

The Truth shall set you Free.


How can a woman love to be treated like trash if she doesn't know she is been treated like one?

5 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by lukui: 1:44am On Apr 30, 2020
We love them, women very much.

But the million dollar issue is "do they love us like we do to them?"

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by doitforyou(f): 1:58am On Apr 30, 2020
spongeisback:
I guess the sentence before that didn't catch your fancy then,

I will tell you something that sounds even more twisted. Your average Nigerian woman will lose respect for you if you respect her or other women in her presence. She will quickly label you soft, woman wrapper, weak, gay, "this one wife go dey control am", "na man be this?", or just plain mugu.


The writer is writing from the believe of an average man.


How can a woman love to be treated like trash if she doesn't know she is been treated like one?

What I got, toxic parenting leads to toxic behaviors perpetuated by men and normalized by women. This has a potential to be a polarizing article it can be twisted to suit whatever bias you have. Would be interesting to see the comments on this one.

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by spongeisback: 2:07am On Apr 30, 2020
Exactly why I made my earlier comments, you can't say women are hypergamous in nature and love to be subjected, when it's obviously from their up bringing and what have been normalized generation before now. Dowry payment was started by men and if a woman says I don't want my dowry paid they call you rebellious and not properly married and at the same time men go around complaining about dowry payment.

For true change to begin the toxicity of our upbringing has to be stripped from the root but it wouldn't happen because some selfish individuals benefit greatly from it.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by spongeisback: 2:21am On Apr 30, 2020
This poster captured my thoughts.

3 Likes

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by doitforyou(f): 2:34am On Apr 30, 2020
spongeisback:
Exactly why I made my earlier comments, you can't say women are hypergamous in nature and love to be subjected, when it's obviously from their up bringing and what have been normalized generation before now. Dowry payment was started by men and if a woman says I don't want my dowry paid they call you rebellious and not properly married and at the same time men go around complaining about dowry payment.

For true change to begin the toxicity of our upbringing has to be stripped from the root but it wouldn't happen because some selfish individuals benefit greatly from it.
I disagree with the author‘s view that most Nigerian women have internalized sexism and misogyny. We’re not unaware, we feel it and we hate it, we just don’t have the ‘power’ to fight it yet. Things are changing though, Nigerian women are speaking up and challenging the status quo. Nigeria is on the verge of a cultural revolution.

27 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Nobody: 3:24am On Apr 30, 2020
DateMynd44:
RUBBISH POST.
I wonder who will have the time to read this long and useless epistle
LOL
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by GeneralPula: 4:34am On Apr 30, 2020
...
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Offpoint: 4:54am On Apr 30, 2020
spongeisback:
Your comments are TOTALLY OFFPOINT for someone who claims to have read the OP.

Totally off what ?
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Nobody: 4:55am On Apr 30, 2020
Come, I hope you will pay me at least the new minimum wage to read this your epistle. grin

1 Like

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by Ishilove: 7:29am On Apr 30, 2020
J111333:
Come, I hope you will pay me at least the new minimum wage to read this your epistle. grin
You reward is in heaven. Read and be rewarded cheesy

1 Like

Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by xynerise: 8:06am On Apr 30, 2020
Iyawo Nylon Bag smiley
Re: The Fine Art Of Being A Baboon by crackkhaus: 8:11am On Apr 30, 2020
Ishilove:

The strangest part, the reason why men find it so hard to unlearn this behaviour, is that most of the time, maybe 7 times out of 10, IT WORKS.
And that's all what matters.
I reckon it's even 9 times out of 10... cheesy

It's important to note though that a lot of the behaviours the writer talked about, are simply not unique to men with Nigerian/African upbringing. Perhaps he should have inquired of his western friends about an average male's impression of a female, it won't be so different.

The culture of gynocentrism brought about by the advent of feminism only made a surface-coated change in typical male behaviours.
The natural thoughts in majority of men which is fuelled by basic male instincts/expectations, hasn't really changed deep down. Outwardly, people would just rather be politically correct to avoid unwanted attention or being crucified and labelled anti-women.

Bringing it back home... there really will be no cultural revolution happening in Nigeria, not in a hundred years - this is a pipe dream by anyone who even thinks it.
The best that Nigerian women can hope for, is that laws will be encoded in the constitution that make certain male behaviours (or rather the outcome of those behaviours), become an offense in some way...just the way it was done in western countries.

It is impossible to change/control nature's biologically encoded behaviours & predispositions. What is possible is putting a lid on the outward expressions of these behaviours by legislation (a band-aid application).

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