₦airaland Forum

linnyx:
Well, this is your own side of the story. All the same I commend you for being patient even in the midst of violent provocation - it only takes a true martial artist to restrain from hitting back.

One word of advice thought: if truly your hand is clean then you should explain to her parents and your parents what went wrong. You owe them and yourself that. For posterity sake; somebody needs to know what went down. It is important you do that. I know what I'm saying.

All the best

tunmiluabi:
Life is strange... Turning my child against me is not an an issue for me. What I do believe is that any act of betrayal will always repeat itself no matter how hidden it might. I have seen it and I know it. The truth is that, even if my child does not see me as father in the future... I will die a happy man knowing that I had the strength to walk away.

Obingene:
You people and money, are you people totally useless without money? Because I am not and never been.

Come on, there is more to life now. I studied Economics and many a times, I have broken this thing called money. It's a reward for value, it's also a means to an end and there are so many factors that determine its availability or scarcity.

I'm tired hearing about money issues everytime. Haba! It's that why you came to earth? To make money and just leave?

Listen everyone, if money is the main resource you have to offer people, then you are just like a candle in d wind, you will be blown out soon and forgotten.

Finally, if anyone disrespects you because of money, walk away from that person.

The circular flow of income shows that money can never be at a place at a particular time, more so, now we have leaders to hoard and keep wealth meant for everyone to themselves.

I conclude with this, if as a guy or a lady, you know you would disrespect your spouse in eventuality that they become broke, please don't marry, or better still, leave the relationship.

Leave and find your pot of gold.

Ybaby:


You are so pissed...

[s]All because you donot want to pay your children school fees...
Chai
O da sorry. Eat your wife's sweat
Hell know no fury like a lazy and poor man asked to leave his wife money[/s]

See eyes like fadeyi oloro

faithfull18:
Hmmn, this sounds like fiction. I don't support divorce but if adultery is involved with evidences, then separation is advised. Biblically, either partners are expected not to marry again but you know in our present world, we read and act upside down.

zeb04:
your story is almost like mine.(except there was no violence).

We didn't have financial challenges but by the second year, we were practically quarreling almost every week.

My husband stopped showing affection so i resulted to getting it someplace. Every time he sees my chat with those guys, it made him so angry but well to me he wasn't showing affection or attention either so I continued.

Anyways finally, we decided to go our separate ways. I never called, blocked his mum and everyone out of my life. I was angry because I felt,if only he treated me how I wanted to be treated then ........

He was angry because why can't my wife just stop chatting with this people.

It took 6 months seperation to realise that I wanted my marriage backk. But in that time, I realized that no matter now much you date before marriage,marriage and life still bring their own problems.

Most issues in marriage will be sorted out if we react with peace and love.

Everyone has baggage, since you know of your partner's short coming, see a counselor,sort them out.

The next spouse(we day dream of and glorify in our head) still has their own issues. You wouldn't know until you marry them.

God will never do the work in our marriage. Even he brings the next person, you will still have to weed the grass,sow the seed, harvest it. (You will still have to work on that marriage).

Take this time apart and just REST, then evaluate your marriage and see if there is any Window of opportunity to make it work.

CHoccolaTE:
OP, tunmi
When you had no job and she was providing were you assisting her with chores and childcare at least to make things easier for her and reduce stress or were you being bossy and expecting 24/7 complete submission from her?

Answer honestly.

I don't even trust marital stories on nairaland because the party telling the story will ALWAYS hide their own faults and magnify the wrongdoings of their partners

MuttleyLaff:
[img]https://s1/images/MuttleysGato.gif[/img]
Go check my Profile signature text, you'lI see that I was put on this earth to do two things, piss people off and make people smile.
Which lucky one are you?

ajbf:
Who put that subconscious mind of woman there? Is it not society?
Why don't women in Western world have the same subconsciousness?
In the olden days, your great great grand mother and your great ground mother (both paternal and maternal) worked entirely for their husbands.
African/Nigerian Christianity and socialization with Western world has polluted the culture. And even to make the matter worse, most of self-acclaimed men of God are mis-orienting thier people in the church as regarding the functions of couple in marriage against the Bible standard

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Dyt:
Classic





Are you single?
Dating?

Obingene:
You people and money, are you people totally useless without money? Because I am not and never been.

Come on, there is more to life now. I studied Economics and many a times, I have broken this thing called money. It's a reward for value, it's also a means to an end and there are so many factors that determine its availability or scarcity.

I'm tired hearing about money issues everytime. Haba! It's that why you came to earth? To make money and just leave?

Listen everyone, if money is the main resource you have to offer people, then you are just like a candle in d wind, you will be blown out soon and forgotten.

Finally, if anyone disrespects you because of money, walk away from that person.

The circular flow of income shows that money can never be at a place at a particular time, more so, now we have leaders to hoard and keep wealth meant for everyone to themselves.

I conclude with this, if as a guy or a lady, you know you would disrespect your spouse in eventuality that they become broke, please don't marry, or better still, leave the relationship.

Leave and find your pot of gold.

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Vyolet:
Everytime a woman leaves a poor man or reacts badly to him, the man always end up having a well paying job and the woman always want to come back...
Op, you forgot to write the part where she is willing to come back and live with you in Lekki .

Vyolet:
Everytime a woman leaves a poor man or reacts badly to him, the man always end up having a well paying job and the woman always want to come back...
Op, you forgot to write the part where she is willing to come back and live with you in Lekki .

TonyeBarcanista:
Sir, you are an emotional weak man that married a terrible woman. Your terrible wife successfully manipulated your feeble mind while you were busy making excuse for her and forming Mr Nice Guy! Sir, your wife has been into 'runs' even before you married her! You also failed to get Hooked with a virtuous woman but chose a strange woman. I spotted this observations from the beginning of your sermon...

It will do you good to learn your lessons and make amends in your next relationship. Learn to be in charge of your relationship if you don't want to die a sad man.

BTW stop making excuse for your terrible and loosed woman of a wife!

Congrats on your new job

[s][/s]

Dyt:
Which is no?
Are you ready to date too?

Dyt:
But you need a friend
From your write up, you been through alot

It's ok
I won't persuade you
**that's if you don't have any**

Have a goodnight rest in your lekki suite sir

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Dyt:
I am not single
Don't get it twisted

ishitinyourmouf:
thunder fire this gold digger.. god please fire tese type of oloshos with thunder na. oluwa thunder update na

Ybaby:
[s]You are inconsequential why will I go and be checking infidel account what kind of nonsensical move is that.

I am not that kind of woman to be checking after castrated men.... after they have maltreated you at home ... you come on NL and be talking profile

A man started this forum that you have built your 4 x 4 hut on.

Ko iranu Yago fun mi jo

Ole no yoju... lazy bones

All I said is provide for your kids not for me... see how you are puffing[/s]

MuttleyLaff:
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41AiRdYKeFL._SX300_.jpg
Coat o nshe ẹgbẹ agbada
"Ẹtẹ lo ma gbẹhin ẹ", loosely translated means "You will be disgraced out soon"

southniyikaye:
reading your story was like me reading my own story.
Only three diff.
1) I am younher
2) fortune has not smile on me yet but am hoping and praying.
3)for eight years, I was the only one doing the whole sponsoring, she was jobless.
Now she is living in a fools, paradise, I created another account on fb and chatted her, a rich guy's profile.
I told her to break up with me and she did last night.
I was just laughing.
It's a very bad thing for the bread winner to go broke, I am a living testimony to rhag

dayleke:
First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.