₦airaland Forum

MorningStar233:
Abeg shut up

funmisticqueen2:
I hope to have a marriage like the picture you painted one day.

Ybaby:
What are you saying na?

I love provider men. I appreciate them. Without such men we will have no roads, no roof.... these men move human race forward

It is infidel men i detest... lazy men who are looking or eating from a woman sweat.

Do you understand now?

Ybaby:
Such a sad story. Glad you are doing well.

See women are not good at paying a man's bills. We are not wired that way.

She starts seeing such a man as a child.

Once a man stops seeing the woman as his bread winner - the way will open for him like it opened for OP.

Not always true. Pls speak for yourself and I dont see any reason why just N170k ll make a lady proud.

POVERTY

Young men get money! there is a financial clock for men.

OP, happy for you.

Ybaby:
Eventually all wives who pay all or some bills cheat. I am not saying it is good I am only stating the fact.

Wives who shelter thier husbands eventually become violent towards the husband.

See the bible knows what it was saying when it said a man who cannot provide is worse than an infidel... those wives may pretend to respect thier husband in his face but gossip their husbands to neighbours, family and friends letting them know they pay the Bills.

What OP experienced is even small. When a woman pays Bills she emasculates the man in front of him or behind him.... she will sha find a way to subliminally let the world know she wears the trouser.

Na so we see am. I pray for you that you are able to fully pay your household Bill's and kids bills if you add your wife's bill she will let the world know you are the MAN!

Sunny Ade said one man was made to escourt his wife to her boyfriend house.... na money cause am.

Man is on earth to pay Bill's, to work and uplift his family...... may all men be able to do this because the consequences of otherwise is severe.

An angel can become a witch if she is made to pay a man's bills

Preferito:
Wow! This is so disheartening. Love has really waxed cold. But I think the type of foundation given to the youths of nowadays is what's causing this. The Bible stated that the woman is an help meet to the man. This means that when the man is incapacitated she should be able to augment him. She should not compound his troubles. I see no reason why a woman will be troubling a man because he is trying unsuccessfully. Had it been that he is not trying at all then she could have charged him up. Before exhibiting any nasty behavior towards your husband you need to remind yourself the reason why you married him at the first place. To be honest men are now an endangered species and all these things gives me cold feet towards marriage. Why can't the women of these days be like our mothers? I started hawking since I was in primary 2 all the way till SS3 along with my older siblings because my dad was trying unsuccessfully. But there was never a time I did see my mother insult him. Neither was she in any way ever promiscuous. We were in it together and we pulled through. Why can't the women of these days have the will to build with their husbands? This reminds me of the popular quote that says it is only women and children that are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved base on what he can provide. May God order our steps in the right direction.

Obingene:
That yours is good doesn't mean you should insult and look down on others that aren't.

Many men try their best to provide but things don't work out, I have seen my father go from a 100 to zero and for 2 years my mum respectfully and diligently worked to cater for us.

Life is no textbook. Nigeria is still d poverty capital of the world.

In all, spouses should understand and support each other, a peaceful marriage is all we all want.

Roles yes, but love still remains the greatest commandment and nothing else.

Ybaby:
I am seeing a pattern that it is men whose mothers feed/fed thier fathers that think like this.

Poster Is your mum single cos you may have to wife her.

1 Timothy 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his own, and
But if any man have not care of his own, and especially of those of his house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Obingene:
God is not an author of confusion, not every one that calls his name is of him or his kingdom.

Blessed are the peace makers.

My mum is the standard for a good wife and she is still enjoying her marriage, my Dad can take a bullet for her.

Men, marry a good woman regardless of whether you are rich or poor.

Marry a woman who truly has the love of God in her.

Preferito:
Please can you stop quoting the Bible upside down. What it means is that any man who does not provide. It did not say a man who is providing but it's not enough. Being a man does not mean to be a slave to a woman. Would you rather prefer your hubby to go into crime in order to provide for you?

Ybaby:
Spiritually when a man is eatting from the sweat of his wife - things hardly get better for him.

I like the word you used "forced"

If she was still feeding you - you will not have this new job because you needed force to dust your books and I pray you continue to dust more books more knowledge so no one has to ever force you again.

Buy your wife a gift for forcing and demanding you step up and realise your potential.

She really tried for you. Many other women would be meek and feeding you and you will never dust those books and realise this new potential and well done to you for stepping up albiet it was after torture.

Go to a corner in your room and vow to your maker that you will never eat of a woman/wife sweat again.

Prymestrr:
Go back to my comment. Thank you.

djon78:
I am telling you real life issues I have witnessed and you are here making noise.

Empathy is the key here. When a woman have your kind of mindset. It makes men become more business minded in there union. I am talking from experience.

I have always adviced guys to hustle up and not just have one streams of income, but several, that has been my philosophy . But on the flip side a mean less empathy wife is a no no. It turns marriage into more of business which may not augur well with the woman. That's how some men place there siblings over there spouse concerning there money.

dayleke:
Beautiful.
God bless your family.
One thing though, just because it works for you does not make it a yardstick.
I saw where you kept saying a man should not eat from a woman's sweat......and even supporting it biblically.
Is it not the same bible that says both of them come together together to become one.
If you find yourself in a situation whereby the way the traditional roles were supposed to be played out do work, adaptation is needed.
Marriage is a partnership, there is no my money or your money as long as trust is there and there is transparency.
In some environments where both the couple have to combine incomes to raise the family, it can not work especially in the western world. All hands are needed on deck. There is no traditional role for any gender. Understanding is needed.
Any of the parent can cook, assist the kids with homework, attend PTA meetings etc.
What works for couple A May not necessarily work for couple B.
Thank you.

dayleke:
First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

Evercurious:
It's her background.. POVERTY STRICKEN MENTALITY...

Evercurious:
It speaks volume of her background..

djon78:
His wife was way above him in class. She was from an influential family in Nnewi, I know her family very well.
They never belonged to same class.
Cos was serious nwa ogbenye. Poor of the poor. Wretched.

So her people never wanted him. In fact he was chased away when he went to ask for her hand in marriage.
The woman accepted him despite all this. That's why they are very close.
He doesn't play with her.

They started from nothing.
Your ideology is a very dark and evil one.
I wonder the igbo man that will marry such a woman like you.
Our women don't behave like this.
We train them properly. Maybe na audio igbo man that is marrying you, in your dreams.
.
I don't even look at a woman's money
A woman can't even feed me
When my dad in his seventies can still doll out better cash to his children talk less of taking excellent care of his wife. Na me no go spoil my woman?
Even my sisters are married to men taking excellent care of them, but they have there own money too and sometimes support there family.

They were going on summer vacation with children. My sister told her husband to fashy that she will buy there flight ticket for every member of the family.
Her oga was shocked and surprised.

Woman I have been reading your comments and you are dark, evil, a gold digger extraordinary.
In fact all you claimed here are audio to me. And you got no class by the kind of reply you have been giving here.

emmaodet:
I don't think so. We only read those who were fortunate to make it and write about their happy ending.
Believe me, most are not that fortunate.
For every writer like this you see, we will see 50 men who were not so fortunate.
I know some men around me their wives have left and are now in sorrow, some in the grave.
The op. is just the few fortunate ones.

Chukapage:
So we should use statistics from your Inconsequential 1life out of billions...Una go dey ,just to vomit Rubbish even if ONLY you met 100 men whose wife left that are still poor it's Still Inconsequential....I can also come out and claim I know 209 men whose wife left them but they're billionaires....

emmaodet:
You are very stupid for quoting with such vulgar words.
Did i quote you?
I didn't direct my comment to you so why foaming in the mouth like a rabid dog.
Can't you make your comments like a sane man without insults you Hopeless Idiot

Ybaby:
His life changed when he stopped eatting his wife's sweat.

Eating a wife sweat keeps a husband in a broke place.

Ibechris2:
My advice for u now that God has blessed u is this,pls start a rugged investment now or never,I am a typical Igbo man that likes money and work for it.

No job in Nigeria is permanent even Ministers,permanent secs and Dg's are all losing their jobs. Pls,save and invest to fully regain ur respect and consider taking ur wife back and I bet u,u will not regret it.

And those who are scared of getting married, earn and save to invest,stop spending money on liabilities such as renting an apartment for ur girl friends and sending their entire family money when u are not sure of marrying her.
[s]If u are a man here and u are 25years and above,start hustling and working towards marriage,[/s]because na lack of money dey make some men fear marriage.

If u have money,everything in marriage will bow to ur authority except of course,there is no understanding in the marriage.

Marriage is wonderful!

fastseo:
Then a woman eating a man sweat will go broke permanently?

Must everything revolve around money? I have read your comment from beginning to the end.. All you keep hammering is "money, the man being lazy". I have seen family who depends on less than 2000 naira daily staying happy and together pushing really hard. To my assertion the opp is a hard working man, the only place he didn't do really well was the new apartment he rented and if you check very well it's the woman who pushed him to rent such expensive apartment far below their monthly income and now she refuse to support him financially no matter how little it is.

The way I see large percentage of women this days when it comes to money issues, it's like without money they can't survive.

Back to my family, my father was a soldier with meagre pay to today's standard for me. When mama saw that the pay won't be enough she quickly had to suggest to start a business (provision & foodstuffs) and with no time the business boom and was the biggest in town at that time. What I observed they did was that, they split the family RESPONSIBILITIES (feeding, minor clothing, any petty things at home was fully handled by mama) while school fees and major clothing (Christmas cloths, major expenses) was fully handled by dad. Mind you house rent and electricity bill are deducted from monthly salaries by the army.

My observation was that. I never saw them fight, if they did I never for one day noticed it..

Finally : no income will remain steady for life. Even the bible says " money has wings"

see the current state of things in Nigeria as at today.. Nigeria will in no time be able to fund her budget and most basic things and this will go a long way to affect the common man in the street.

If a wife find a position to assist the husband financially when he is at his feet she should.dont call such men infidel names not befitting the lowest.

djon78:
His wife was way above him in class. She was from an influential family in Nnewi, I know her family very well.
They never belonged to same class.
Cos was serious nwa ogbenye. Poor of the poor. Wretched.

So her people never wanted him. In fact he was chased away when he went to ask for her hand in marriage.
The woman accepted him despite all this. That's why they are very close.
He doesn't play with her.

They started from nothing.
Your ideology is a very dark and evil one.
I wonder the igbo man that will marry such a woman like you.
Our women don't behave like this.
We train them properly. Maybe na audio igbo man that is marrying you, in your dreams.
.
I don't even look at a woman's money
A woman can't even feed me
When my dad in his seventies can still doll out better cash to his children talk less of taking excellent care of his wife. Na me no go spoil my woman?
Even my sisters are married to men taking excellent care of them, but they have there own money too and sometimes support there family.

They were going on summer vacation with children. My sister told her husband to fashy that she will buy there flight ticket for every member of the family.
Her oga was shocked and surprised.

Woman I have been reading your comments and you are dark, evil, a gold digger extraordinary.
In fact all you claimed here are audio to me. And you got no class by the kind of reply you have been giving here.

Ndukings92:
Ewu Gambia nkea o si na o gini?

Votukpa:
Goddamn.

First off. In so much as I have not heard the other side, I have a strong witness in me that your narrative is sincere. This is the only thing about your post I will applaud.

Everyone here is trying to advise you on what you should have done or can do. They don't understand your problem. They can't because they didn't experience what you experienced nor do they see what you see. They also don't know very much about how this world and it's aspects were designed.

I won't sympathize with your plight, neither will I tell you what to do. I will however give you some 'mental keys' to unlock your understand as to what happened, as well as some principles to live by.

1. Women, by design CANNOT love. CANNOT = incapability given lack of adequate tools or equipment to perform a task or an action. What is Love? God is Love. Love is when one is weak and his or her partner is able to contain the former. Love is not reciprocal. If it were it wouldn't be love. by design, only a man is CAPABLE of love. That's you. The only way a woman can love a man (the way a man loves a woman) is if she is filled with God (love). This goes against the grain of the feminine. Principle: a woman who fears God is the most excellent of women. She is rare and your wife isn't her. Women are transactional by design. She will only submit (admit she's under) you, if you supply her needs. Selah.

Your father was supposed to teach you this.

2. Bearing ALL the responsibilities of a home is ENTIRELY on your shoulders. This is, also, according to design. If you're not doing it, your wife will never submit to you (admit she's under you) and she will act accordingly- disrespect you and cheat on you. That's her design. Principle: bear all the responsibilities of the home while she keeps the home. This is order. There will be harmony and she will be happy.

Your father was supposed to teach you this.

3. ALL Women are hypergamous by design. She can't submit to you if she's better than you in anyway. Seeing that money symbolizes power to a woman, if she has more of it than you, she WILL cheat on you, most likely with a man who is 'better' than you. This is a reflex action for her. Principle: Always be better than your woman. ALWAYS. You can either be improving faster than her or you can destroy her progress completely and keep her at home, while making her comfortable.

Your father was supposed to teach you this.

4. Very important: A woman has more glory than a man in this world. You probably never realized this but as far as progress in this world is concerned, a woman will have more power and privileges over a man if you put them at par from the onset. A woman will make more money than a man if they are mates. A woman is better looking than a man from the begining. She will grow faster than man. She will command more favor than a man. This is by design. A woman has all the power in this world and she will submit it to a man whom she judges is better than her in every way. Principle: You MUST be 'GLORIFIED' before you marry. You must be 'something' before you marry, not hopeful to be, after the marriage. This is design. When I say be glorified, I mean be indestructible. Be GODREADYMADE. At this level, NOTHING can touch you because GOD himself would have forged you with his own hands. Meditate on this. To be GODREADYMADE, you must first go through a DIP. This is a crucible of flames and suffering that will refine you into 'Gold' at the end. Selah.

Even if your wife fears God, you CANNOT relax. A prudent wife is a gift from God. When God gives you a valuable asset, you still never get to relax. You work and develop yourself till you drop dead. This is order according to design. You were designed to work and grow forever. You still must totally dominate your life and hers.

It might be too late for your marriage to work out. Actually, once a wife sleeps with another man,
the marriage is dead. I would advise you to forgive her if she totally repents but I don't see that happening. Divorce her and move on. Live according to design. Be GODREADYMADE. If YHWH decides to gift you an actual wife, so be it. Otherwise, live for a purpose and let it define your life. Marriage is a calling, not a choice.

dayleke:
Lol....
You better don't let her tag you "infidel".

Simbrixton:
My final post I wan go wack

Folorunsho alakija na woman Cecilia ibru na woman

If you are a woman with a backward mindset and for d males supporting them you are an Extremist not different from boko haram and e go hard make u see husband

A woman in dese modern society should be able to earn more than her husband and keep her marriage

I sabi how many men dey ask for handouts daily d country hard

Peace

abbatoir:
You lack ego.