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My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! - Family (13) - Nairaland

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Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by AuroraBrls: 6:12am On May 19, 2020
Drug and Substance Abuse.
As minors we used to see elderly folks hands, especially men, shaking gradually uncontrollably. The most they snorted and drank back then was just Tobacco and Gin, little wonder twas just there arms that shook at ripe old age.

I am trying to imagine what will shake in the body of Marlians, ShakuShaku boys, BurnaBoiz, Igbolabiz, etc when they get very old and weakened. These guys guzzle and chug more drugs [ codeine, cannabinol, refinol, dried faeces, shoemaker gum, omi-gutter, crystal, MET, ICE etc] than water, daily.

Their medula oblangata, lungs, anal hole, sex organs, eyes; everything will be shaking and leaking heavily enough to cause more than an earthquake an tsunami put together; because society and their innocent loved ones will have its core heavily cracked and shaken from the ripple effect of the actions of the drug addicts.

What in my opinion is the best solution to this guys problem. Never make the silly and stupid mistake people do a lot in this our shithole; his problem has nothing to so with prayer houses, the devil or God, or witches and wizard. He poisoned his mind body ans aoul with an excess of drugs. He needs to spend a longgggg time in a rehabbbbb. if you guys have resources take him to a very good and expensive rehabbbb.

If it took him 18yrs to get deeply stuck u can't undo the mess even in 5yrs. most importantly as soon as his head is clear u guys can help him sire a kid or possibly get a wife(someone who also overcame drug addiction). then help them leave a conservative and modest Christian life like Jehovah Witnesses detached from some of the unecessary excesses and pressures of life. Possibly change environment totally. A whole new fresh start. But if limitedness of resources fail you. God knows the heart. let go of him. Let him roam if he must. I have seen a healthy person go sick and cracked while grieving for a sick loves one.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by psalmistkakah(m): 6:12am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
ur opinion though. I think it's u that something is wrong with. No parent bring up a child in a proper way and reap calamities. Do well and read the book of Proverbs. Also read the laws of karma
What about pastor's children that go wayward .? Do you mean the parents did not train them well? No, temptation, evil people..So stop blaming the parents..
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by tot(f): 6:19am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

You are a TERRIBLE person for derailing this thread of a person clearly in need. Sanctimonious senseless human being.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by thinkmoney(m): 6:21am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt
when I first started reading this response I was revolted, then I later see he has a point. only maybe he is mixing the reasonable point with a silly one, or he doesn't know how to express himself very well.
Many of this kids that mess up may have parents that are generally good, but that doesn't take away the fact that some of this parents indulge this kids when they were young (some even keep indulging them till adulthood) in the hope that somehow they turn a new leave by themselves.
I have a relative I lived with at a point, and I noticed with anger how after he threatens and/or complains, his mum and sisters end up giving him money. this guy being the last born and only boy, developed an irritating sense of entitlement.
I used to advice the family that they are only postponing the bad day(s) . I do show them example from the bible of the prodigal son. his father, after settling him once allowed him to stray. he never assisted him again (he would have only reinforced him, if he had). at this point, the Father knew the best thing to do is to let him go his way and live with the consequence. thankfully the guy came to his senses and retraced his steps.
that's what has been allowed to happen. but what can be done? I will still refer to that guy I know. the family ended up spending millions of naira on rehab, police case, and constant treatment of injuries he sustain when he gets involved in troubles. Recently I sat him down, talked to him candidly. I let him see that his lifestyle of almost 18YEARS as only resulted to one predictable outcome, which is unproductive, shameful life. I showed him picture of when he came back from rehab(he was looking good with few or no scar). I told him he needs to strengthen his will power and stop associating with the bad companies.
he is showing sign of a new life. I thank God for this. Still, has a well read person, I suspect I was able to help in this way, because the guy, still had control over his mind somehow. sadly in the case of your brother, he may have pass this point where he can grasp things.
I advice you take him back to rehab with the hope that he get control of his mind back in some way. Make videos of every stage of his life from now. And stop indulging him. IF HE WILL DIE, LET HIM DIE NOW. NOT AFTER YOU HAVE WASTED YOUR MILLIONS. You may have to finally come to terms with reality.
if he beats your mum again. lock him away. Give the station his story and be giving the police stipends to watch over him so that he doesn't have access to drugs even in the cell. He should learn. only if he still have his head with him again though. if you feel he doesn't, access that option of another rehab and stop indulging him after.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by 7508: 6:21am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

What is oponu saying o?. A person is desperately looking for help for a sibling , this one there dey blame mother and father.
Sometimes just shut up to be appreciated instead of gassing yamayama talk biko

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Nobody: 6:21am On May 19, 2020
lock him up in a room for 3 month feed him twice in a month.


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Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by torvickof1312(m): 6:23am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

He choose his path, pls put no blame on parents. Our parents born us but the never born our character, the train us to the best the could and we choose our path. He needs help by taking him to a remind home and changing his environment. It's hard for you to change him but your effort and his willingness is key. Engaged the brother cos idleness will take him back to the little drugs that is districting him gradually.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by somtoto(m): 6:26am On May 19, 2020
Things like this take time.you dont expect him to change out of the blue.you guys should constantly have a heart to heart talk with him.make him see reasons why his action is unhealthy.you will see with time,he will become receptive and would want to change.
Also,do not stop him from taking those drugs at one.it is best you reduce the dose then the frequency.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Ceazario: 6:29am On May 19, 2020
This person is wise, vast in knowledge and has deep intuition. The hard drugs does not have all these habits you aforementioned. It is what is in you that whatever you take bring out or escalate,it does not bring any new habit. Your brother has always been a bad person but instead of your parents to tackle him head on, they covered him up from the same community he is disgracing ur family,now it has gotten out of hand @ 42! U better free him and let d rest in the family learn.
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by EM123: 6:33am On May 19, 2020
I think u people have to go the traditional way because is not ordinary , some guys in my community get tipsy in acohol whether they drank it or not they misbehave , that is what the enemies used to attack their parent so that they will regret giving birth to them , u people should do something that will make him see any drug and run from it . I know u might call it fetish or native doctor , as long as ur brother is ok and it will make the family happy do it.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by BalogunIdowu(m): 6:36am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

As much as I agree with this, it is not always so.

Noah son perished even though his father was prophet. What did Noah did wrong?

Lut wife didn't go unpunished even though his husband was a prophet. What did Put did wrong?

Some times no matter how you put in efforts to train you child they still go wayward but you WON'T neglect them due to that. Continue to pray and advise them with the hope that they change.

Those examples above are too far back, don't tell me you haven't seen religious leaders in our current time that their offsprings have jumped fence too?

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Kay25(m): 6:40am On May 19, 2020
franugo:


Did you read the op selectively? Abi u didn't see where he stated that several religious interventions have been tried

@star4ever, I believe what ur bro needs is a reason to quit..if he has someone dt he loves enough, he'd do right by the person. Truth is right now, hard drugs is his first and true love and nothing can separate them for too long, except death, Kinda like how romeo n Juliet played out. Does he have a child?
religious intervention does not connote Christ at the centre of it .He might have been to places and didn't work If u don't know the right thing to do sir.....
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Ndubuisipaul1: 6:40am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

I support this brother, for you to kill this problem you have to get to the root of it. And the best way is to start asking questions from your background..
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Ceazario: 6:41am On May 19, 2020
Brother, all those attacking you are dead upstairs. They are probably from the same background with similar upbringing. Dem no reach you cuz you have the best reply so far. Respect to your growing up. Ur parents born you well.
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Tapout(m): 6:44am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

Those addicted to masturbat!on nko?? Alchohol?? Etc. sad how can be spilling such trash with great audacity??what has the parents got to do with this??
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by ocha88(m): 6:45am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt
. My dear this life is deeper than you thought, devil can use any means just to cause havoc in a family, someone somewhere can even manipulate your life just to bring shame to your family. Just prayer that temptation doesn’t come your way. Op I prayer for God intervention, I think what the man need now is rehab and possibly change of environment
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Successmind(m): 6:46am On May 19, 2020
Nawao.. Take him to rehab or carry am go synagogue.... .....
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by EM123: 6:47am On May 19, 2020
Look for native something that will make him see drugs and run . He will hate anything drug related , he will see is friends and also run.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by postmann: 6:54am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
abi? Time and Time again people tend to ignore d spiritual and faces the physical. I will shut up but no man plant mango and reap guava

Calling you a dunce will be putting it mildly. But ignorant and confident simpletons like you have dragged Christianity to the mud deeper than unbelievers.

A child's sins shouldn't ever be blamed on parents except you have first hand proof. The bible has great parents whose children went astray with no fault of theirs. The prophet Samuel was one good example. You should be locked up for heresy.

3 Likes

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by bayulite: 6:55am On May 19, 2020
I can feel what you are passing through, because I have a similar experience with a relation. He needs to be away from getting access to drug after he must have been treated in a psychiatric hospital with a close monitoring and also engage him. Be careful not to give him cash and not allowing him be alone all the time. Do get a close family member he like to counseling him and try to discover what he wish to do for himself. With time he will completely abstain from it.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by EM123: 6:55am On May 19, 2020
Tapout:


Those addicted to masturbat!on nko?? Alchohol?? Etc. sad how can be spilling such trash with great audacity??what has the parents got to do with this??
no body get addicted to masturbation, if a guy that masturbate get married he will stop masturbating , the absense of sex lead to masturbation .

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Ubdavis(m): 6:58am On May 19, 2020
His problem is simply irredeemable.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by ABOVEDELAW: 7:04am On May 19, 2020
JUST SHUT THE FUC-K UP IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY WHEN INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE TALKING!
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by switspin(f): 7:06am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt
Not always true, since you mentioned God, cast your mind back to the man in your bible who was born blind, what offence did his parents commit?

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by bigiyaro(m): 7:06am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt
shut it dia. so all parents are evil?

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by echodrum(m): 7:08am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt
Ignorance is your major problem.

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by switspin(f): 7:10am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
ur opinion though. I think it's u that something is wrong with. No parent bring up a child in a proper way and reap calamities. Do well and read the book of Proverbs. Also read the laws of karma
Please just say nothing, we are trying to find solutions not blames

1 Like

Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by narit: 7:15am On May 19, 2020
star4ever:
I have a 42 year old brother who for over 18 years has been on hard drugs. He started this habit while in secondary school and couldn't finish tertiary education for same reason. Efforts made by the family to stop him from substance abuse and rehabilitate him at several occasions failed. Each time such effort is made, he recovers after a while but returns to the habit. Currently, he has become mentally deranged and there seems to be no solution at sight.

He has been admitted to different psychiatric hospitals on two occasions. At both times, he was treated and confirmed fit and sound to return to the society. The moment he was discharged, he quickly went back to his old ways and all the resources spent went into the drain. In one of the occasions, we were strongly advised to engage him as joblessness was one of the greatest problem causing the abuse. We got him engaged by securing a fantastic job which he also left after a week of working there. Other meaningful efforts geared towards engaging him to enable him to become occupied and start earning a living as a man also didn’t work out.

We have organised prayer sessions by powerful men of God, nothing has happened yet. I do want to sound like someone without faith. I strongly believe that our able God will make things beautiful at His time. However, the situation has gone out of control and we need to act fast.

These, amongst many, are some of the interventions already done by the family and we cannot fold our arms and watch people mock us in shame every day due to his abnormal activities in the community.

Now what he does is forcefully, take money from our aged mum, sell any family property at sight in exchange for money to buy his drugs. Beat my mum up at any slightest refusal to give him money. He has been jailed many times for committing several offences related to this habit, yet the problem persists. Maybe we have not applied the best approach?

I am calling on fellow Nairalanders to assist with solutions. I believe there are some of us here who may have experienced this problem in one way or the other, or have an advise to give to solve this lingering painful situation. Your personal or professional experience (s) may go a long way in salvaging this situation for us.

I believe a problem shared is a problem solved.
I am afraid you cannot help your brother, if he his not ready to help himself, you see my dear, changes begin within us. If your brother do not have a reason or purpose to change from the thing he has become, no matter where you take him too, it will be futile.
All you and your family can do now at this stage is to show him love, give him a strong reason, something that will make him reach within himself. You see without internal conviction, external change is ineffective. All he has now is you guys, you have got to reach for his heart, his soul. I have seen worse, and I believe he can and he will be reformed. But first, the change has to start within himself. You have to help him see it. Once he has really make a decision to change, then you can take him to places like church, not a rehabilitation center please. You see what your brother his fighting is greater than him, and he needs a power greater than what he have to fight this and that power his Jesus. He should stay in church where he will constantly be filled with good words, and where he can drawn strength and hope from. Please, if it is possible he should stay there permanently, at least until his condition totally change for good. Please, you have got to help him now,he needs your help more than ever, because at this stage he has become a "pusher" which his the last stage when a person becomes a strong addict. And be very careful when you are with him or when anyone is with him. When a person becomes a pusher they have no control over their emotion, they are unpredictable. They are capable of doing anything, they feel no pain or attachment. God is your strength, a lot of people have break the chain of addiction, I strongly believe your brother can.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by femi4: 7:20am On May 19, 2020
adontcare:
ur opinion though. I think it's u that something is wrong with. No parent bring up a child in a proper way and reap calamities. Do well and read the book of Proverbs. Also read the laws of karma
you lack common sense. What happened to abdulmuttalab that joined terrorist
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Gucciboy1(m): 7:22am On May 19, 2020
star4ever:
I have a 42 year old brother who for over 18 years has been on hard drugs. He started this habit while in secondary school and couldn't finish tertiary education for same reason. Efforts made by the family to stop him from substance abuse and rehabilitate him at several occasions failed. Each time such effort is made, he recovers after a while but returns to the habit. Currently, he has become mentally deranged and there seems to be no solution at sight.

He has been admitted to different psychiatric hospitals on two occasions. At both times, he was treated and confirmed fit and sound to return to the society. The moment he was discharged, he quickly went back to his old ways and all the resources spent went into the drain. In one of the occasions, we were strongly advised to engage him as joblessness was one of the greatest problem causing the abuse. We got him engaged by securing a fantastic job which he also left after a week of working there. Other meaningful efforts geared towards engaging him to enable him to become occupied and start earning a living as a man also didn’t work out.

We have organised prayer sessions by powerful men of God, nothing has happened yet. I do want to sound like someone without faith. I strongly believe that our able God will make things beautiful at His time. However, the situation has gone out of control and we need to act fast.

These, amongst many, are some of the interventions already done by the family and we cannot fold our arms and watch people mock us in shame every day due to his abnormal activities in the community.

Now what he does is forcefully, take money from our aged mum, sell any family property at sight in exchange for money to buy his drugs. Beat my mum up at any slightest refusal to give him money. He has been jailed many times for committing several offences related to this habit, yet the problem persists. Maybe we have not applied the best approach?

I am calling on fellow Nairalanders to assist with solutions. I believe there are some of us here who may have experienced this problem in one way or the other, or have an advise to give to solve this lingering painful situation. Your personal or professional experience (s) may go a long way in salvaging this situation for us.

I believe a problem shared is a problem solved.

I have an Uncle that had this same problem, the same stories... What you need to do is find that thing he loves to do so much and has mad passion for (Talents), empower him and make him busy. Also change his environment. DON’T EVER treat him like an outcast, because that will make him to feel bad and want to go back to the ways. I believe if you can do this for at least a month, there’ll be a change of story By God’s Grace. Getting over an addiction isn’t easy at all. It takes time, hard work and God’s Grace.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Ayomiposi001: 7:25am On May 19, 2020
Fabulouzjoseph:
He needs to see a good psychologist and undergo certain therapies. Everyone deserves a second chance.

U MEAN THIRD CHANCE.
Re: My Brother On Hard Drugs: 18 Years Of Pains And Sorrow. I Need Help! by Niseed(m): 7:26am On May 19, 2020
And this right here is the reason why one should be wary of Nigerians and their lazy way of passing on the blame, when that fails quickly say its spiritual.

I know your type, sadly there are many of you guys whose lives are far from perfect and most likely have people with worse issues close to them but choose to ignore it.

@OP This is a classic case of a drug addict as seen anywhere in the world and they will do anything for their next fix no matter who gets hurt in the process. It takes a lot of patience, time, effort to successfully rehabilitate a drug addict and some are too far gone to save.

I also dont think we have the right facilities and institutions capable of dealing with these cases here. Theres also lots of stigmatization and general ignorance of Nigerians who think someone going to psychiatric help is some sort of punishment or insult.

I can tell you one thing that's certain 3rd party prayers, pastors or witch doctors will not cure him so kindly ignore any of them as they will further drain your resources. You guys can pray on your own.

I have seen people that smoke only weed destroy their lives and lives of others that copied their habits. They only thing that saved them was they can afford their drug habits and the unlucky ones are out there somewhere robbing and stealing to keep up. so I'm very cautious of recreational drug users.

I wish you all the best and maybe you should consider moving your mum away from him....I can assure you that he knows what he's doing is wrong but he cant help it, you wouldn't want a case when he's on a downer and decides to harm someone.



adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

1 Like

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