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Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes - Family (19) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyMarriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes (87017 Views)

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Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 10:29am On May 21, 2020
koyyess:
Ask yourself, are you a normal human being yourself?

Why do you only prove your dead supremacy through your fists when your white mates are using their brains?

Let me tell you, your women are the only reasons why your white mates try to see you as a human. Nothing more. Because violence is the only way you can express yourself.

Tell me, are you not an animal?
Do u knw y there re mental institutions & psychologist all over d US, cos these offer people of abuse the platform t heal themselves, when a woman doesn't mind her words & talks anyhow, then it should be known that d typical response of d opposite/opposition is t act aggressive! There's no two way abut it learn t manage ur words & he would keep d fists bended & not clenched! I HV Neva done any beating or battering on any woman b4 but I know & understand clearly why a man would fee l so hurt & decide t do that!/
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by seanwilliam(m): 10:32am On May 21, 2020
Poorboy:
my brother wise up ooo, people wey get working class lady no get two head....



I don't do hungry ladies
wa gbayi jare... if you see the way I dey vex reading some dumb comments on here ehn.. I wish I was the mod here, I go give atleast 50 years of ban to many sissy monikers here
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Poorboy:
funmisticqueen2:
Of course no man owes me anything, but the moment he chooses to start a family with a woman, he has put her in a vulnerable position. Most times Automatically, her priorites realign, she becomes more vulnerable, she has to tolerate bullshit because she is married and has a family, she has to quit work when she gets pregnant, she has to experience the worse pain of her life and tangle with death in the labor room.


She has to readjust to putting another human being's (a newborn) needs before her own. She has to put her career on hold to nuture this man's children, and allow them to bite her breasts for at least 6 months. Do you even know how painful and uncomfortable exclusive breastfeeding is? I always wonder why women still come to the labor room more than twice.

You do all this for a child that will still leave one day. That may or may not be grateful. Afterall, it isn't their obligation to look after you in old age. Isn't that how millennials think?


I worked in the labor room for a year and i saw many traumatic things that has shifted my mind about starting a family. I came to the conclusion that motherhood is not worth it. Especially if the man has a bad character(a good number) is not in the picture, or cannot afford to provide for his family.

That i ask that a man should simply provide so that his family is comfortable and can get the best of what is out there, is not not too much, but the minimal requirement.

I'm not a poor person, I can take care of myself. I'm just starting my career but chose to stay at home because of the epidemic. I am asthmatic and nigerians are not worth dying for.

But i will rather adopt children and understand that they are my cross to bear alone than to be saddled with a man who thinks that the bare necessities is too much for him to accomplish. When i do end up finacing the simple things I want like yearly trips abroad which i am already doing as a single person instead of the man that wants me to go through the hoops and hurdles of selflessly raising his family as a gesture of goodwill and 'love'. Then he will know what disrespect truly means.


Sorry for the rant, but It truly gets me angry whenever i see men bullying women to accept their mediocrity.
from the thrash you put up here

1 you will never get married

2 if you get married you will never be happy

3 have you ever wondered why what you are dreaming of hasn't materialized?

4 Do you think a man marrying a woman is an investment that needs to be funded

5 Marriage is for happiness and to kill boredom and it comes with a particular type of satisfaction that can't be compared to any kind of money in the world

6 Have you ever seen poor people love and get satisfied live a low but Happy life

7 My dear change your mind, money is not everything

8 your writing is full of selfishness be selfless, that's only when you can have true satisfaction.

9 You can choose to remain single, but don't get married if you're not ready to be of any help to you husband.

10 your husband can be rich at the time of you getting married but one thing is certain in life that's changes, if the man suddenly go broke will you leave or stay.

11 I told you earlier life is all about choice nobody chooses to be poor, it's God that choose to bless any man the way it pleases him.

Leave marital matters it's not quantifiable with money. Thank you
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by koyyess:
Heathrow44:
Do u knw y there re mental institutions & psychologist all over d US, cos these offer people of abuse the platform t heal themselves, when a woman doesn't mind her words & talks anyhow, then it should be known that d typical response of d opposite/opposition is t act aggressive! There's no two way abut it learn t manage ur words & he would keep d fists bended & not clenched! I HV Neva done any beating or battering on any woman b4 but I know & understand clearly why a man would fee l so hurt & decide t do that!/
So the only reason why there are psychiatric homes in the US is because of their women abi?

In other words, the mad people roaming the streets in your neighbourhood are there because of your women abi?

$1 =#400+ because of your women right?

Yet, if you are given the opportunity to marry a white woman or relocate to the US, you will sell your birth right and head there immediately, not so?

I think you need psychiatric help. Your dumbness is not ordinary. Maybe it was caused by a woman.

Mumu.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Honeysheabutter: 10:36am On May 21, 2020
She could be motivating you to a greater place. Continue with the struggle and don't be carried away to do otherwise. Pray for God's blessing. There's nobody that doesn't like money.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Poorboy: 10:39am On May 21, 2020
seanwilliam:
wa gbayi jare... if you see the way I dey vex reading some dumb comments on here ehn.. I wish I was the mod here, I go give atleast 50 years of ban to many sissy monikers here
grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by koyyess: 10:41am On May 21, 2020
Heathrow44:
& ask urslf are u even a human being speaking demeaning, derogatory, hurtful words t anoda living human being !! How do u feel if those words were said back @ u?? Are u not an animal ?
The moment you justify domestic violence, you demean yourself and earn no respect. That is the truth and that is why you are at the bottom of the food chain globally.
You should be thanking your women every single day for agreeing to dwell, nurture and birth for you.
Without them, you are finished!
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 10:43am On May 21, 2020
koyyess:
The moment you justify domestic violence, you demean yourself and earn no respect. That is the truth and that is why you are at the bottom of the food chain globally.
You should be thanking your women every single day for agreeing to dwell, nurture and birth for you.
Without them, you are finished!
U re bitter I'm so Sowie! ;DD

D moment u justify emotional & verbal abuse u have shown gross inequality,
Justice must be served irrespective of gender!
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(op): 10:50am On May 21, 2020
Expresswriter:
Involve a responsible marriage counsellor who knows both of you to advise her. She's become too familiar with you and will not listen to your advice at this point. Why? Because I suspect she's being influenced by a new friend or company.

She wants to compete or measure up with her fellow women who have been gisting her about their experience and how their husbands are spending heavily on them.

What she fails to understand is that these things are in phases. Like you said, it's gradual. Don't give up. I will advise you start praying for her and for both of you. It may not be easy now because you're hurting and feel offended. However, God will give you grace in these times.

It is well. I speak healing into your marriage. Let love return miraculously this moment.
Amen, thanks so much for this.....I render my unreserved appreciation
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(op): 10:51am On May 21, 2020
BluntTheApostle:
Don't mind them. Many of the commenters here have never been in a toxic relationship.

They expect a man to keep quiet, but a woman can nag.

Imagine such nonsense.
And nagging woman are so difficult to please because they won't listen to you, reason with you or even accept their flaws.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 10:53am On May 21, 2020
D moment we realize women re not weaker sex buh feign t be weak t use it to their comparative advantage is the moment d world achieve a clear cut equality.. Women re not weaker sex, or vulnerable the society has already created the police to protect them, so saying any longer that women re weaker vessels is long past... Women need to know their boundaries when talking they av this bad filter when talking that can infuriate d other person until that stops & they evolve t people that re humane, civilized then there are no guarantees anymore undecided
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(op): 10:54am On May 21, 2020
Honeysheabutter:
She could be motivating you to a greater place. Continue with the struggle and don't be carried away to do otherwise. Pray for God's blessing. There's nobody that doesn't like money.
Exactly my thoughts and I believe if she just appreciates the little it will definitely gear up my morale to do more....but always condemning the little will make things more difficult
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(op): 10:56am On May 21, 2020
Poorboy:
from the thrash you put up here

1 you will never get married

2 if you get married you will never be happy

3 have you ever wondered why what you are dreaming of hasn't materialized?

4 Do you think a man marrying a woman is an investment that needs to funded

5 Marriage is for happiness and to kill boredom and it comes with a particular type of satisfaction that can't be compared to any kind of money in the world

6 Have you ever seen poor people love and get satisfied live a low but Happy life

7 My dear change your mind, money is not everything

8 your writing is full of selfishness be selfless, that's only when you can have true satisfaction.

9 You can choose to remain single, but don't get married if you're not ready to be of any help to you husband.

10 your husband can be rich at the time to you getting married but one thing is certain in life that's changes, if the man suddenly go broke will you leave or stay.

11 I told you earlier life is all about choice nobody choices to be poor, it's God that choices to bless any man the way it pleases him.

Leave marital matters it's not quantifiable with money. Thank you
I pray she adheres to this
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 10:57am On May 21, 2020
funmisticqueen2:
check the facts and statistics. There's always a balance in nature
Ok, buh saying women t men is 1:1 is completely false & misleading!
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Oluwaiphee: 10:58am On May 21, 2020
ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?
It means she made herself new friends and the wrong ones at that. Her recent behaviour shows she is being influenced negatively. Watch the friends she keeps.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(op): 11:00am On May 21, 2020
Oluwaiphee:
It means she made herself new friends and the wrong ones at that. Her recent behaviour shows she is being influenced negatively. Watch the friends she keeps.
Alright, thanks I appreciate
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Poorboy: 11:02am On May 21, 2020
ademidedavid:
I pray she adheres to this
kiss
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Nobody: 11:25am On May 21, 2020
Poorboy:
from the thrash you put up here

1 you will never get married

2 if you get married you will never be happy

3 have you ever wondered why what you are dreaming of hasn't materialized?

4 Do you think a man marrying a woman is an investment that needs to be funded

5 Marriage is for happiness and to kill boredom and it comes with a particular type of satisfaction that can't be compared to any kind of money in the world

6 Have you ever seen poor people love and get satisfied live a low but Happy life

7 My dear change your mind, money is not everything

8 your writing is full of selfishness be selfless, that's only when you can have true satisfaction.

9 You can choose to remain single, but don't get married if you're not ready to be of any help to you husband.

10 your husband can be rich at the time of you getting married but one thing is certain in life that's changes, if the man suddenly go broke will you leave or stay.

11 I told you earlier life is all about choice nobody chooses to be poor, it's God that choose to bless any man the way it pleases him.

Leave marital matters it's not quantifiable with money. Thank you
lol. I am proudly selfish. Thank you.

I don't want to be poor nor end up with a poor man, Is it your poor?
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Poorboy: 11:30am On May 21, 2020
funmisticqueen2:
lol. I am proudly selfish. Thank you.

I don't want to be poor nor end up with a poor man, Is it your poor?
life is a choice dear, do as it pleases you.

But note it's not a yardstick for marriage, and it can't bring true satisfaction.

Dangote divorce was it money that was the problem,

Pastor Oyahilome divorce was it money
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by lereinter(m): 11:38am On May 21, 2020
ademidedavid:
So I should beat her black and blue and you will still be the 1st person to crucify me
Use your brain if you get to weigh the consequences of your wife and yours

Beat her blue black, na me you beat
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by MrSly(m): 11:49am On May 21, 2020
LegitGirl:
You’re not a serious person. You’re not the talking type... what are you then, the beating type?

Nonsense and ingredients! Coward!
Pap brain. Wil you keep 'Kwaiet' ?
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by ademidedavid(op): 11:50am On May 21, 2020
lereinter:
Use your brain if you get to weigh the consequences of your wife and yours

Beat her blue black, na me you beat
It is well
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Uzomaglovani: 11:50am On May 21, 2020
ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?
who r her recent friends?or who does she talk to more? atimes we ladies are carried away by all dis fake gist from fake friends my and quote,,,,,,,, my husband just bought me car or my husband just bought a land, and deep down is lie lie ooooo�chai women be wise and be contented with your husband
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by NaBanga: 11:53am On May 21, 2020
BluntTheApostle:
Walking away from unresolved issues can land one in a mental home.

Anyone who thinks physical abuse is the only damaging abuse, then they are living in darkness and ignorance.

Emotional abuse which may result from constant nagging can land one in hospital. It can land one in jail.

For example, a woman nags her husband. Husband rushes out of the house. He drives out without concentrating. He runs over someone, and lands up in jail.

How about that?
Walking away can never "force" anyone into a mental home. It would be good if there were more mental homes in Nigeria due to the level of mental health cases walking around. The truth is that you only want to justify your barbarianism. You want to hit someone because the same happened to you as a child. You want to hit someone because you have no power to hit anyone, except a person who is physically weaker than you. You won't hit those politicians who have you begging. You are frustrated. It is fine sha. Stay in the zoo. We all know what things belong in the zoo. Please Stay there and enjoy.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by emyrald91(m): 11:55am On May 21, 2020
ademidedavid:
Yes, she has been listening to how most of her friends have travelled out and seeing them on social media, how they send things home and the others on instagram but are we now running a race? Not that we are doing so badly here in Nigeria.
She need to keep friends that are within the same financial limit. That's your problem. No one wants to be the low budget version of her friends.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Montaque(m): 12:06pm On May 21, 2020
You have a good opportunity now to push her into a job, trade or business. Most women dont want to work, just sit at home and enjoy hubby's money. Times like this bring out the desire to make money. Encourage, suggest and advise her on what to put her hands on. She must have told you of a passion - encourage her into it. Support if you have money. Don't misuse this opportunity, allow it go to waste or directed towards bad behaviour (infidelity). Peace

ademidedavid:
Well understood but how do you get a federal job when there is no opening yet and she doesnt even like my kind of job .. Also on level 8 step 2
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Teedah: 12:14pm On May 21, 2020
Hitting her is bad but please disregard some comments here telling you that what your wife did is right. Either a man or a woman that is being influenced negatively will kill himself or herself with depression. Such a person will never appreciate the things or people around him or her. The only thing/ person that can change your wife is herself. She should stop comparing herself with others hence appreciate what she has. There are some of her mates as well that their standard of living doesn't measure up to hers. Sit her down& talk to her.May God help her. No let her pressurize you ooo. Walahi if you get heart attack & kpeme on top her inconsiderate demands, na you lose. Keep being responsible.
Re: Marriage And Its Challenges; My wife is pushing me to the extremes by Coden(m): 12:26pm On May 21, 2020
HarunaWest:
Sorry to say but if I were in your shoes, that slap will land on her cheeks.
I hate when people don't appreciate someone's efforts.
If she want to live flamboyantly, then she should learn to make her own money. I won't take an insult on my person from someone that isnt contributing to my development.
Don't apologize for slapping her, just lock up. You are the man of the house not the other way round.
However, if she doesn't deem it fit to apologize to you, just dey look am.
If you dare apologize, you will kuku loose the remaining small respect that she has for you cos from look of things that woman has been brainwashed by material stuff. Cheers
Oga u are tgere , I like every point that you av make here
@Op listen to this OGA don't mk the mistake of trying to render any apology, else ur marriage don shatter be that
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