₦airaland Forum

AkupeMBANO:
You are a full blown asslicker. you call a jobless, unimproved nagging feminist disturbing another man to improve a blessing? your brain is missing.

You got it, I'm a feminist, wait till I get rich and powerful, you men in Nigeria that has sworn to suffer women will see pepper. We will make sure we hang you rapists, like that idiot that raped busola dakolo, we will start reviewing 50years old rape cases, molest cases, even if na grandmother tell a story of molest. We would review the case and bring the family to justice.
Giving women unnecessary pressures, making them work like slaves, go through labour, child care and not being responsible. Just wait and see, you will see pepper, continue thrashing women.
God bless all the wonderful men out there, just that they are very few

VictorBode:
The girl is some how though. She's a bit narcissistic and looking for attention.

Plus she's condescending. Her bf is at fault though but her attitude will break her relationship.

I thought you had something upstairs

Ishilove:
I think she is a strong willed individual.

Narcissistic people are usually strong willed.

VictorBode:
Narcissistic people are usually strong willed.

Hokay. To each his own

Ishilove:
I hope you don't slip all these 'am am' into your various theses and dissertations? They have a nasty way of turning up where you least expect them.

Abaah.....there are ways to write official statements. The same goes to unofficial issues.
You should know that incorporating yourself as noun or pronoun, or in any form isn't allowed into theses. Infact I write projects across department for clients.

Acmepreneur:
I thought you had something upstairs

Lol. The thing is you're bitter with men and it's not cool.

Hate is strong emotion and you're blinded by it.

You want to be rich and powerful so you can come after men?

Not only is that impossible (because you'll still need men to achieve it)

It is very hateful. Your goal should be bringing justice to humans in general both men and women.

That way your emotions dont cloud your judgement.

If you go with this anti men movement, your life would be miserable and you wont be able to see the good in men

VictorBode:
Narcissistic people are usually strong willed.

Oga o, the thing sha pain you like this. Come break the relationship now, bring your hammer

This is tough mehn... If you can help him in whatever way, try. You meant well for him when you were pushing him. But he thought you were unnecessarily intrusive. But if you claim you love him, push him more and you both can start a joint business together.

Acmepreneur:
Oga o, the thing sha pain you like this. Come break the relationship now, bring your hammer

Relax. Not interested in breaking your relationship.

You first started off as innocent and blaming your man(which I still agree he has some fault)

Then you started revealing your anti men character.

Has nothing to do with your relationship. I'm just looking at you and how you felt so good to see men down.

It's not hard to see.

Ishilove:
Hokay. To each his own

Lol. As usual .. the "every opinion is right" sentiment. Absurd

VictorBode:
Lol. The thing is you're bitter with men and it's not cool.

Hate is strong emotion and you're blinded by it.

You want to be rich and powerful so you can come after men?

Not only is that impossible (because you'll still need men to achieve it)

It is very hateful. Your goal should be bringing justice to humans in general both men and women.

That way your emotions dont cloud your judgement.

If you go with this anti men movement, your life would be miserable and you wont be able to see the good in men

I see the good in my boyfriend and many sensible men. I'm sorry, my only interest is on female, I don't have interest in Males. That's because African men especially have put our women in overdue sufferings, and it needs to be corrected. We need to stop the nonsense, we welcome males joining us, I have a friend, he's extremely intelligent, and hes a feminist, that's why we became friends. Every intelligent person should be a feminist, so you are welcome to join us eradicate the aged injustice on women by Men especially and some stupid women that
useless culture has turned them against their fellow women

VictorBode:
Relax. Not interested in breaking your relationship.

You first started off as innocent and blaming your man(which I still agree he has some fault)

Then you started revealing your anti men character.

Has nothing to do with your relationship. I'm just looking at you and how you felt so good to see men down.

It's not hard to see.

Thats the problem with you MEN, insecurity. In your brain, anyone who is fighting for the right of women is Anti- Men? Because I wish rapists & Molestors to be sent to life imprisonment means I'm anti men abi?
Because I want an irresponsible husband to be arrested and forced to pay his wife monthly fee to take care of his children means I'm anti men?
Because I want women to have a voice mean I'm Anti men?
Because I want women to walk out of miserable abusive marriages with pride and not with shame means I'm anti men? If my feminism is giving you headache, deal with it.
Those Useless Men that don't control their pricks are in trouble, hanging to death is what they deserve

Acmepreneur:
Thats the problem with you MEN, insecurity. In your brain, anyone who is fighting for the right of women is Anti- Men? Because I wish rapists & Molestors to be sent to life imprisonment means I'm anti men abi?
Because I want an irresponsible husband to be arrested and forced to pay his wife monthly fee to take care of his children means I'm anti men?
Because I want women to have a voice mean I'm Anti men?
Because I want women to walk out of miserable abusive marriages with pride and not with shame means I'm anti men? If my feminism is giving you headache, deal with it.
Those Useless Men that don't control their pricks are in trouble, hanging to death is what they deserve

You're not getting my point. Men are not insecure. Men have sisters , mothers, daughters etc so we know the issue women have against rapists.

But I'm telling you that coming from angle where you want to help women will blind side you...

Your emotions will get the best of you and any girl that complains to you, you'll just believe her without checking the facts.

I have a friend who went to prison because she handled a case for a girl that lied about a rape case..

You are much better off having an objective angle.

It's better you even have a punishment for male rapists and punishment for false accusers (if you're hell bent on supporting women)

That way your mind is more calibrated. You know if this girl that met you is lying then she'll be punished and you don't want that so you'll be more interested in hearing the other side.


Because let me tell you, anger is monster and you wont know when it will get you and you handle a case that you shouldn't have.

Acmepreneur:
Yes, I must marry next year. I can't wait till I'm in my late twenties, I hate marrying at 26,27,28,29. I seriously hate it

As i read your rants. i knew you are a child.

Acmepreneur:
I see the good in my boyfriend and many sensible men. I'm sorry, my only interest is on female, I don't have interest in Males. That's because African men especially have put our women in overdue sufferings, and it needs to be corrected. We need to stop the nonsense, we welcome males joining us, I have a friend, he's extremely intelligent, and hes a feminist, that's why we became friends. Every intelligent person should be a feminist, so you are welcome to join us eradicate the aged injustice on women by Men especially and some stupid women that
useless culture has turned them against their fellow women

With the way feminism now is, an intelligent person can't be a feminist because it's a hate movement.

You think men dont have men and daughters? They dont support feminism because even though they have a "goal" their way of approach is wrong.

And no one wants to be a part of it.

Why do people like human rights activists? Because their actions are usually fair and reasonable.

Humanity is their cause not men or women.

Picking a side has the ability to affect you and make you bitter without you even realising it.

Acmepreneur:
You got it, I'm a feminist, wait till I get rich and powerful, you men in Nigeria that has sworn to suffer women will see pepper. We will make sure we hang you rapists, like that idiot that raped busola dakolo, we will start reviewing 50years old rape cases, molest cases, even if na grandmother tell a story of molest. We would review the case and bring the family to justice.
Giving women unnecessary pressures, making them work like slaves, go through labour, child care and not being responsible. Just wait and see, you will see pepper, continue thrashing women.
God bless all the wonderful men out there, just that they are very few

Some guy already called you a witch (maybe he's spiritual enough). I give extra offering every Sunday because i ain't the dude that will marry miscreants like you. I pity the weakling who will carry a jobless load of crap like you. Oloshi!!

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

I hope you read this. You can never get a 100% in anything, there must be a place for compromise.

Like you said he is loving, respectful and caring, so many ladies will kill for those listed qualities.

You can eventually get a guy who has a dream like mount kilimanjaro. But will he be caring, respectful and loving.

You have to choose what matters to you more.
If it is big dreams, drive and big ambition then that is good. Or if it is care, love and understanding between you both.

The choice is yours.

Remember you cannot have both, not in a real world.

Acmepreneur:
I don't earn anything substantial for now. I don't work. But I do teach online and earn little PayPal through my online skills, and I am building some business underneath which I plan to launch. I'm also applying for scholarships for my PhD, applying for jobs, and processing Canada

Just imagine her CV. Canada and shit!! this one na thief..

Acmepreneur:
Thanks to all commentors.
Edit: i want to use this moment to Thank the ladies, this thread of mine has made me to realize the future of Africa is in the hands of ladies, men are total disgrace, while some are quite inspiring and very helpful, the percentage of men spewing rubbish is quite very high, about 90% while that of female is just 2%. Thank you God for not making me a man.

But please, i want to know the mod that took this to front page?
Una don turn Nairaland to a joke wallahi

Thanks to all commentors, you really made my day and I laughed so hard, especially those that think I have low self esteem and I'm not near intelligence.

It seems that some males on NL are already pained and frustrated about their broke assess and was already ready to any bash girl.

For those that took their time to read all the stories, I wanna say thank you, it means we are bored together as if not lockdown, you no fit see me for NL they ask yeye questions and be reading comedians comments.

For the unbelievers, the story is true,though with some little tweaks, because I don't know if my boyfriend siblings&friends are on NL, so I gave it some tweaks, though I can't vouche for other stories here on NL if they are true or false.

For those that sent me mails, sorry, I don't reply Nairaland emails.
For those that wants to date,lol, I can't date people with account on NL, thats one reason I love my BF, he doesn't fancy NL at all, he thinks its for jobless people or people with so much money that they now have time at their disposal to waste or people severely bored. Yes, I know some people are making money with the help of NL, especially in the business section, bitcoin, cryptocurrency,PayPal, forex trade threads.
And the GRE,IELTS section is also very good, but I still can't date a NL active member especially those active on Romance section.

Final Conclusion, I can never leave my boyfriend, I don't even know why I asked such question

I so wish I could send you a voice note, becos wat I wanna say is much and heavy packed. I'll make do with this though.

Before I say wat I wanna say, I have to ask you to remove sentiments and be very neutral. Then youll see the truth in what I'm about to say. Also screen shot my reply, in less than a year, you'll see prophecies I'm saying here coning to pass at least 50%.


1. Trust me, I know 100% you love your bf. And I know he is a good person. Trust me, I feel it deep inside. But trust me again, this relationship won't exceed 2020.

2.you belong to that tiny percent of people that love planning ahead, like projecting for the future and strategically planning for what its. Unfortunately, your bf, as good as he is, is the opposite. He lives just for the present. He believes tomorrow will take care of itself. This is seriously against your mindset.

3. Becos of no 2 above, its clear you two are on different mindset. Different wave length. Can two people walk/plan together except they agree?

4. Becos of no 3 above, you two will always be on logger heads. Issues are normally in relationships, but this isnt a normal issue. This are destiny/life time matters. You both decision will even affect your kids.

5. Funny enough, you both are actual correct in your own way. But his mindset was a mindset that worked in Nigeria years ago. Not now.



Based on your topic for this thread, I smiled after reading . because I discovered you're an introvert, a special one that forecasts ahead to get results. You are the type of woman every man needs.

Youre the true definition of a help mate. Logical, analytic and careful observation are your strong points. I rarely praise ladies on this platform, but one with a mindset like yours, needs to be celebrated.

That means you already know the answer to your thread.

You already know what to do.

But, I'll just leave you with a clue.

Ask yourself this question.
When I look back at his general view in this aspect, do I feel at peace and assured it will be all right? Your answer will determine what you should do.

Don't forget, the best friend of an introvert is their peace of mind, every time.
I wish you the best in life friend.

bmdmixer:
u hate marrying in 26,27,28,29, have u married in those age before.

u simply a nag, he dey show from all ur response.

she's a child.

lalanice:
hahah English don't make money (na so una dey limit una sef)... I know someone like you, all he knows is speaking big big English yet no common sense.

She is the one portraying herself as this high flying, highly educated and overachieving woman who is mad at her boyfriend because he doesn't want to do masters.

I'm not talking about money here, even illiterate yahoo boys make a lot of money. But if she is as academically inclined and advanced as she claims, then why can't she compose a well structured write up with better grammar, syntax and punctuation than this?

She is a pretender my dear. She better stop feeling too big and manage the boyfriend like that. They are obviously on the same level.

lalanice:
Jeez girl! We have exactly the same problem, still why I can't marry him, not ready to build not ready to improve and when you try to help/advice him his stupid Ego gets in the way. I just had to leave him alone, I broke up, I'm done.
Now he is claiming broke saying that's y I left him. I know broke when I see one, Dude isn't broke at all, I just don't like that he is already feeling comfortable, I like to grow and I work towards that by God's grace, I can't stand people who get comfortable.

madam feminist, where are you working and how much are you bringing to the table currently? bla bla bla sheep have you any wool? talking rubbish Up and down!!

silami:
You love him and still go ahead to post this rubbish? All I hear talk and obviously you’re no different than usual gold digger. You have all this dreams and ambitions, yet you want him to take care of you and give you money? You sit down telling what to do, what about what he wants to do? Who told you masters degree is requirement for success? You’re definitely not good for him and I wish he realizes that early enough to walk awa!

That girl no get one single level.

25tolife:
Alot of nagative,most of them are insulting you technically .but still yet u did not flare up. U must be a wife material.

wife material ko ni. you think real life experience is by remaining jobless, sound like a feminist and make noise up and down? Maybe you dey her age bracket sha!!

Acmepreneur:
Oga o, the thing sha pain you like this. Come break the relationship now, bring your hammer

Judging from your replies on this thread,the question of you leaving your bf is not up to you cos no matter how much strong will you have or claim to have,the dude will always have your number.So that "Should I break up?" should be removed from the topic.

chigoizie7:
I like what you said, any man that wants to grow, needs a woman to ginger him. You might be correct in some ways, for some people. For example, I do not have a masters, I worked in a naija bank after graduation for a year, then I left Nigeria, I do not have a girlfriend from when I left until now, I do not need anyone to ginger me so as to achieve the type of life I want. So far, I have sponsored my two brothers to leave naija as well as a friend of mine. I know what I want, I do not need anyone to ginger me, just like most people I see here.

If you are waiting for a woman to ginger you, then you certainly do not want to grow.

My point is, always k ow the type of people you are dealing with before forcing your own opinions on them. This man might have a rethink tomorrow to improve himself. Allow him to do it at his own pace. If the young lady is all about the money. Let her make the billions for both of them. Better still , let her leave the young man. Simple. From all the long epistle, all I see was, I want him to do this and that, I never heard her say what the young man really want for himself. I offered to bring a friend of mine outside naija but he said that he loves his business in naija and he is making it and happy doing it. Some love the 8-5 kinda job. Some love the celebrity life, some love the business line. Does this lady think it is everyone that can do business? If it is so easy, let her embark on all those things she wants the boy to achieve for herself. It is very easy to sit at the line and be issuing orders, I want this, I want that. That is not how this life works. Just like we have technocrats and politicians in most economies of the world. People will be tailors, people will be drivers, an Uber driver here makes morethan a million naira equivalent per month. It all boils down to what makes you happy . We need money , yes. But you can’t be drake because you want to be as rich as he is, at the same time drake can’t be dangote as dangote is far richer than him, neither can he be c Ronaldo who is a footballer, dangote is so rich but he can’t be Jeff bezos. Amongst the owners of YouTube, one of them sold his shares to his friends to go live in a remote area and travel the world low key.

Instead of just sitting there ordering him what to do and what not to do.

Why not sit down , suggest some of those businesses for him and also suggest to him how to raise the money required for someone who earns only 90k. Does she think businesses do not fail? For sure, he can’t be working and at the same time doing businesses for someone with the position of a manager. For someone who doesn’t know much about businesses. The young man might be thinking so many things, he could be thinking, for this business to be efficiently run, I need to be present, does that mean he will quit his job? What if the business fails? Where will he fall back on? The money that will be used for the business, where will it come from? Loans? How will he pay back if he quits his job and the business fails? Those could be what the young man is thinking. But that girl doesn’t care how it is done, she thinks businesses grow over night. As a credits and loan officer back then, I know better when funding businesses, it is not easy. She thinks a man earning 90k can just go to a bank for a loan of N1m without a solid collateral?

you are naive with the ways of life because Grace was around you


for you to have the privilege to sponsored anyone shows you've backbone. I'm talking about someone that have no one, a true hustler need to be inspired and challenge


you sponsored your brother because it's your passion? was it not when you see what others are doing that influence your decision? that's the ginger(inspiration)



I think you should read to understand post before forming jackie chan. no knowledge is isolated, human exploit everyday either by partner or by people around them


go and marry unambitious wife and see how your dream will be outrightly buried

MrDebonair:
Op. You are a frustrated, narcissistic, controlling delusional person. Enough of your braggadocio.
You don't sound intelligent, probably may be bookwise which translates to nothing in the real world. You are not a realist, you are just a frustrated dreamer.

Overall, you haven't seemed to bring into reality your so called plans and dreams, yet you whinging on how you expect your bf to get rich. You really disgust me.

So much noise on how intelligent you are yet you can't write to pass GRE or common IELTS. Intelligent people don't go on about telling the whole world how intelligent they are. It reflects in everything they do, their thoughts and actions. Yours is the opposite, probably telling us for self aggrandisement.

You are also a desperate person so much so that you have to transfer the agression on your bf most definitely as the last resort to your survival since your own so called plans or dreams not materializing.

You have lost hope in yourself, reason your bf has to be the one to make it by your means. Like your survival now depends entirely on him.

Nothing stops you from getting a menial job, making your own money. If it's that easy to do so. You have nothing and yet you are not proud of your bf let alone getting him to meet your "pseudo billionaire" parents who looks down on struggling men yet they can't fund your multi- billion dollars plans and dreams.

I blame your bf, for keeping you all the while when you got no job and being a broke ass. He should be the one thinking of dumping your broke ass. Why has he even introduced you to his parents? Knowing fully well that you are a jobless broke ass . Yet you can't do same.

You can see reasons now why I said you disgust me. I usually don't write long text. Your write up has prompted me to do so. Get a life and stop dreaming. Realist my ass. Shame.

salute!!

Ishilove:
I think she is a strong willed individual.

stop thinking anything. that girl no get level.

You're choking the young man, no peace at all. Life is not rocket science, you want him to make it very fast....now you have pushed him too much and it's causing problem between you guys, give him time and watch him grow and flow with life. What he needs is support not unnecessary pressure. Life is in phases, Men are in sizes!

Acmepreneur:
Oya now, let's choose wedding date. What about next weekend?

You are joking, right?

BigTableShaker:
What tribe is your bf pls?
I can't talk about a particular tribe.

Proffer solution tribal bigot!