waywardpikin:


I went out into the world today, face mask and every. Just getting back. Gimme a sec.

Confirm nigga, ororo dey your head

waywardpikin:


So you were a ghost in camp bah? Are you a lady?

Lol....yes

Jayoficial:


Confirm nigga, ororo dey your head

Ayanfe29:


Lol....yes

Yes to being a ghost or being a lady?

Nice update but too short Anyway, feeeeedd us more

waywardpikin:


Yes to being a ghost or being a lady?

Yes to both

biokuabdullahi:
Nice update but too short
Anyway, feeeeedd us more

Tomorrow bro

Ayanfe29:


Yes to both

Wow that is a bumper package. A ghost and a lady in one. Nice to have you on board.

Rotfl, I'm imagining how pitiable you looked with the catarrh running down your nose..the almighty mj crusher reduced to a sorry mucus dripping begi begi
Meanwhile that OBS babe must be the real queen bvtch...ahn ahn, the guts to ask what they were waiting for before kicking your humble asses outta camp

Hehe, how did it feel exploring the outside world after a long time indoors

eloyce:
Rotfl, I'm imagining how pitiable you looked with the catarrh running down your nose..the almighty mj crusher reduced to a sorry mucus dripping begi begi
Meanwhile that OBS babe must be the real queen bvtch...ahn ahn, the guts to ask what they were waiting for before kicking your humble asses outta camp

Hehe, how did it feel exploring the outside world after a long time indoors

Lol @ almighty mj crusher. Finish me ooo

Yea that OBS babe was something else. We just seriously disliked each other from the first meeting and we didn't hide it.

It felt weird being outside. And those face masks, they make it so difficult to breathe. Lowkey, I wonder if this COVID-19 is really in Nigeria. Everyone is going about their business as usual. No one really cares. Makes you wonder...

Good morning shugar.

Following the OBS diva's declaration, our pleas increased with a burning intensity. Our futures were at stake for God's sake! Eventually, the soldiers told us to stand up. We did, and then they asked us to leave, that they had forgiven us. Barrister and I stood there looking at them suspiciously. They had forgiven us? Just like that? Mba (translation: no), the devil is a liar. We will remain here and face this matter to the bitter end.

"I said you people should go," the soldier said.

Barrister and I exchanged awkward glances.

"Please, sir..." I was beginning to say.

"Don't please me anything. I said all is forgiven. You are my brother. You people should go and come back tomorrow before morning drills to collect your tags."

Come back tomorrow morning before drills?

This was looking like a setup. This was because most offenders were usually paraded during the morning assembly before judgment would be meted out to them. Perhaps this is exactly how the scenario played out with all of them. Maybe they had been assured that all was well and that they should report the following morning, only to be paraded in front of their peers - haters and admirers alike - in such a humiliating manner. Barrister looked at me and I knew we were thinking the same thing.

The soldier grabbed me by the arm and led me out of the studio. I made sure I eyeballed the OBS diva as I left. What a wicked Jezebel!

If only I could just bite off her left ear...

"Believe me, all is well," the soldier said in a calm voice once we were outside. It was like he could read the doubt on our faces and in our minds. "Just come tomorrow and collect your tags. On a good day this offense is enough to get you decamped but I just like you. My spirit goes with you," he said to me.

"Tha... thank you bros," I stuttered.

"Thank you, sir," Barrister said.

"But next time never take such a risk again. For crying out loud it's just three weeks, what's so hard in waiting till the end of camp if you must smoke? Why put your futures at risk?"

We both stood there with our heads bowed. The innocent boys. In truth, I was very angry with Barrister for leading me down this path but more importantly, I was ashamed of myself for allowing myself to fall into such a predicament. It wasn't his fault, it was mine because he didn't put a gun to my head. It was entirely my decision and that was on me.

"We are sorry sir," Barrister said.

"That's okay."

"So... we can go?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes but make sure you report back here tomorrow. Did you forget anything in that room upstairs?" The soldier asked.

I suddenly remembered the unfinished tie of igbo that I'd hurriedly thrown under the bunk.

"My handkerchief. I forgot it there," I said, searching my pockets.

"What of the igbo? Where is it?"

Oh shit! He remembers too?

"It's also there. Don't worry I'll take care of it," I replied. Barrister and I ran up the flight of stairs and into the room where I picked up the precious claro lying right where I'd left it. We turned around to see the soldier also standing there with his arm outstretched. So this man followed us?

"Give it to me," he said.

"We'll throw it away," I blurted.

"Don't worry I'll throw it away for you," he said as he reached for the spliff in my hand.

I held onto it for a few precious seconds before letting go. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. My precious MJ.

"You people should desist from such okay? Come and see me tomorrow morning at the OBS studio unfailingly," he said before disappearing out of sight.
Barrister stared after him suspiciously.

"That guy is a bastard, he is going to smoke the rest of our stuff," he said angrily.

"You think so?"

"I'm telling you. These men take that stuff very well. He's just acting holy."

"But Barrister, I thought you said people come here normally to smoke? What happened?

He muttered incoherently and till today I'm not sure if people really smoked there regularly as he said or he just wanted to play Russian Roulette with both our lives.

"Mehn Wayward, did you hear what that lady in the OBS studio was saying? She wanted us decamped."

"I heard her, man," I replied.

"That girl is a fucking bitch."

Indeed, she was.


***


The next morning I reported at the OBS studio after the morning drills to avoid stories that touch. I went in and was told to wait outside that the soldier was coming. I stayed outside with a solemn look on my face. I didn't know if Barrister had collected his own tag or not but I wanted to do this on my own terms before his hard face would make them change their minds again. As I waited, members of the OBS crew were milling around. One girl, in particular, was seated right in front of the office and for some odd reason, she seemed interested in me. She kept asking me questions and trying to start a conversation. I was responding to her and trying to keep a calm disposition to distract myself because on the inside I was a storm of raging thoughts: Will they
really let us go? Will they change their minds? Has a certain OBS diva influenced the outcome behind closed doors?

Next thing our conversation drifted to her asking me to teach her how to speak Igbo (translation: a tribe and language peculiar to Nigeria).

"You really want to learn how to speak Igbo?" I asked.

"Yes!" She said, smiling.

"Are you really sure?"

"Yes, just teach me already," she said impatiently.

"Okay... OTU. OCHA." I said calmly.

"Otuocha? What's that?"

"That's your assignment. Find out."

"Tell me now," she pleaded.

"Ask any Igbo person you know."

Just then, the OBS diva, the bane of my existence, walked past me and was about entering into the studio when the girl I was talking to stopped her.

"Amaka, you are Igbo right? What is otu... otuocha?"

"What??!! Who told you that?" She asked in shock.

"It's him," the lady said, pointing to me. OBS diva looked at me from head to toe like "I know it's you. Who else would it be? Useless human being."

"So tell me now. What does it mean?" The girl asked her.

OBS diva just stood there looking at me. I also stood there looking at her, a deadpan expression on my face.

Moments later the soldier arrived on the scene, his eyes red like those of Sango and Amadioha (translation: the Nigerian gods of thunder) put together.

"Oh, you're here for your tag right? Wait here." He went in and came out with a bunch of tags that he had most likely seized from many other Corps Members in camp. As he sorted through the tags he started chastising me once more and asked of my friend. I told him I didn't know where he was. A middle-aged woman was passing through when she stopped to greet the soldier and engage in idle banter. Then she looked at me and asked me what my name was. I told her. Like a clairvoyant, she asked the soldier what my offense was. He told her to ask me, which she did. I told her I did something really bad but I couldn't tell her what it was. She proceeded to beg the soldier to forgive me for whatever I'd done, saying that I looked so much like her younger brother that's why she's begging. The soldier eventually handed me my tag and I thanked him profusely as I looked deeply into his now-red eyes, wondering what could have happened. I could have sworn they were white just yesterday.

As I walked away to prepare for the boring SAED lecturers before they started blowing that annoying bugle, I noticed the girl I'd been talking to earlier in front of the OBS studio staring at me in shock. It seemed she had finally learned the meaning of the word otuocha.



Otuocha means pussy. Yellow or white pussy.




Coming up...




CHAPTER 5: KING SOLOMON

waywardpikin:


Wow that is a bumper package. A ghost and a lady in one. Nice to have you on board.

Lol.... thanks....

Waiting for today's rice and stew o....Abeg, cook am well

waywardpikin:


Lol @ almighty mj crusher. Finish me ooo

Yea that OBS babe was something else. We just seriously disliked each other from the first meeting and we didn't hide it.

It felt weird being outside. And those face masks, they make it so difficult to breathe. Lowkey, I wonder if this COVID-19 is really in Nigeria. Everyone is going about their business as usual. No one really cares. Makes you wonder...

Good morning shugar.

Felt just as weird on my first time being outside.
I respect people I see wearing the tailor made masks tho cos na even manage I dey try manage the surgical masks which seem to be lighter to breath through.

What to do naa? People have cared for as long as they could and it just wasn't easy...life had to continue
The virus is in the country yeah but there are more manipulations to it than meets the eye.

Pleasant noon dear.

eloyce:

Felt just as weird on my first time being outside.
I respect people I see wearing the tailor made masks tho cos na even manage I dey try manage the surgical masks which seem to be lighter to breath through.

What to do naa? People have cared for as long as they could and it just wasn't easy...life had to continue
The virus is in the country yeah but there are more manipulations to it than meets the eye.

Pleasant noon dear.

Yes I have a ton of those surgical masks from work and even they aren't easy to breathe through and that's what I wore. Those tailor made masks are way worse lol.

Ayanfe29:



Lol.... thanks....

Waiting for today's rice and stew o....Abeg, cook am well

Already cooked. Don't laugh at me too much o

waywardpikin:


Yes I have a ton of those surgical masks from work and even they aren't easy to breathe through and that's what I wore. Those tailor made masks are way worse lol.

Basically this ninja lifestyle is just exhausting jare.

Meanwhile aren't you just the worst of the wayward kind of all you could teach a person in igbo it had to be otuocha

You this man.
Nice one man. More ink

nice update feeedd us more

Thumbs up man

waywardpikin:


Already cooked. Don't laugh at me too much o

Oya, serve it now. We all are hungry...we need the update ASAP

Keep up the real work man ...


And pls try to Bleep up that nife of a bitch

OP well done o...

Waywardpikin we are hungry ooo. It's been 2 days now. Feed us plsssss

eloyce:

Basically this ninja lifestyle is just exhausting jare.

Meanwhile aren't you just the worst of the wayward kind of all you could teach a person in igbo it had to be otuocha

What can I say?

Try to stay consistent with those work outs shugar. It will pay off.

Manuel69:
You this man.
Nice one man. More ink

Ma nigga ma nigga

You too gbaski!

biokuabdullahi:
nice update
feeedd us more

You want more abi?

Oya am coming

DarkGamer:
Thumbs up man

My apocalyptic brother from another mother. Wetin dey sup?

Thanks for the comment.

Ayanfe29:



Oya, serve it now. We all are hungry...we need the update ASAP

Madam ghost. Update dropping shortly.

Soren4:
Keep up the real work man ...


And pls try to Bleep up that nife of a bitch

I wouldn't call her that though but yeah I'm like right now

Destinylink:
OP well done o...

Thank you brotherly.

Manuel69:
Waywardpikin we are hungry ooo. It's been 2 days now. Feed us plsssss

Haba... only one day you are calling it two days.

Check out the latest update below.