₦airaland Forum

Martini101:
The OP said nothing in particular

So why are all these toot bags dragging woman matter up and down?

jericco1:
Don't marry a man that doesn't love you more than the way you love him

i agree

Lexusgs430:
It's not me that caused your problems with ladies o.....

Try to be more responsible, updated and couth, they might start liking you again ........

You are not making sense. Stop making stupid outlandish statements you cannot back up!

KingSatan:
As a man, a father and a grandfather. I have lived life to an extent and this is my view on this subject.

The previous thread was simple and concise, "Never marry a woman who has no means of income".

But that is the truth!

Gone are the days when people marry "Obiageri's" according to the Igbos.
Back then, things weren't this bad. Considering the family setting in those days, women had no other role than to cook, birth, raise children and clean the house.

So their parents prepare them for marriage, teach them how to cook, satisfy a man and raise children. They also spend alot of time grooming their hairs, taking care of their skin (Some parents send their children to fattening rooms) and waiting to get married.

When we got married, we married to keep them at home and show off to our friends. Only a few of us married because of love. Some of our partners were not our choice but our parents.

So when you marry, your wife and children should always reflect your wealth and networth. Most especially, YOUR WIFE.

I repeat, back then things were not this bad and everyone knew their roles.

But in today's world, so many things have changed.

Women should bring to the table as much as they expect from the man.

Raising children costs alot of money and shouldn't be the responsibility of the man alone.

So many marriages have crashed on the alter of poverty or "One stream of income".

We must learn to tell ourselves the truth always.

Back then, you don't spend so much to raise a child. If he or she wants to go to the community school or follow the white man's way of life, you send them as a punishment. But those humble and loyal sons, follow you to the farm and when they come of age, you give them farmlands and wives if possible. But that's not the case anymore.

Apart from formal education abroad, I also encouraged my children to learn sellable skills. One of my son is a fashion designer and that is what puts food on his table in the UK. His college degree only reflects on his call cards.

I told this to my children (Daughters inclusive) never to marry a man or woman who has no verifiable means of income.

Money is needed to run a home in the 21st century. Alot of money!

We no longer live in mud houses or drink from pots.

As for "Entitlement", I think every couple should have that mentality depending on the context.

The man is entitled to his wife's emotional commitment. She is his wife and this also applies to the man.

I am tired of typing.

To be truthful, i warned my son's against mingling with an average African woman. They simply don't want to know the truth. They hate the truth with Passion and that is why true feminism failed woefully here.

In the Diaspora, most men who want peace of mind avoid African women because of their "Entitlement Mentality" and how exploitative they are.

Many of these women don't work but enjoy proceeds of child support from numerous partners. You think it's a coincidence? No it not. It was deliberate.

They just want to seat at home, get fat, enlarge their butts and walk up and down the street like a pussy cat that resides in Buckingham Palace.

Should I talk about Nigeria, where you meet an average Nigerian lady and realise that;

1. She is a college graduate because a "Man" sponsored her in school (Both of them are no longer together as a couple).

2. She has a roof over her head because a "Man" made that available (She has no intention of marrying him).

3. She uses the best smartphone because a "Man" bought it for her (Just another random man).

4. She has clothes on her body because a "Man" gave her money for shopping (Obviously he is "One of those mugus".

5. She has food on her table because so many men send her money.

This same woman has no other skill but sexual skills. The only thing she can offer is "Sexual Intercourse", "Birthing Children" and "Companionship" but she expects the man to "Mark her birthdays with a brand new Escalade", "Buy her parents a new house and train her younger ones in school". Is that not exploitation?

This same woman hates her mother inlaw because she sees her as her rival. Anyway, women have always hated themselves from time immemorial, don't get moved when you see them shout in solidarity, it's just for a few seconds.

When asked about their contribution in the relationship or Marriage, some will say "I birthed children for him". But that's your natural default woman!

Even if you sleep with a sexually active mad man, you will get pregnant and birth for him.

Some will even say, "I satisfy him sexually. I gave him my body and soul". But that is same thing you did with your numerous ex lovers.

According to Pastor Sam Adeyemi, he said "If a woman does not help her husband financially, then how else does she want to help him".

In this age and time, it takes two adults who have a verifiable means of income to build a healthy family.


Cheers!

This is beautifully written. Cheers

Coborona:
You did well
You don't wife such, you turn them to owe

Material girls are easy... Use material things to trap and bait them

exactly bro

Candanyl:
Sir i quite agree with some of the points you raised especially the fact that feminism has failed in Nigeria because the kind of comments i read these days on social media doesnt signify what true feminism is about .Feminism doesnt mean you should be disrespectful to your hubby esp when the going gets tough, it encourages that both patners work together to the common good of the family. But I disagree about your stance on our women not bringing anything to the table in marriage.Based on what i have seen in todays marriages,most nigerian women are responsible for large part of family welfare while the man is laid back ..Very few homes is where the hubby contributing 100% for upkeep..The idea that women doesnt bring anything to the table most time ends at Courtship. My perception

Thank you for the balance!

You are also very correct about women supporting their families and in fact being the breadwinners. Unfortunately the majority of the young, prospective women are in the category the man is referring to.

Remaboy:


Courtesy: Martinez39s

Don't mind her. Different generations of women, same garbage.

I understand single guys who castigate Nigerian women, but When I read sentences like "If not that I am married, I will avoid Nigerian women " Now that crap is so funny right there!


Guy, come have you been cheating on your wife with a Nigerian leeche?

wirinet:
You obviously did not follow the Reginald Daniels story. The reason given by Reginald Daniels father for the break up of the marriage was definitely not lack of provision from the father. He accused the mother of infidelity. I am sure the man realized that Rita Daniels was only after gold and had no iota of love for him. The father is a Lagos based lawyer and he has raised another family.

Regina did nothing wrong.

She decided to marry the man with the money, and not sleep with men for money.
Her decision should be instructive for your sisters and mine.

That the only bargaining chip a woman has for a good husband is her youth. And if she cashes that chip once a good suitor arrives, she will not end up like many marriages we see on nairaland daily.

Such as
- wife sleep with boss for promotion
- husband second child belongs to husbands best friend
- wife is not sexually satisfied
- wife does not respect husband
- husband says wifes vagi-na is slack
- wife has not conceived after years of marriage
- husband sleeps with maid because of her taut derriere

I have to agree with @Ybaby Regina married well. If she did otherwise, she would have certainly ended up like most
Nollywood actresses; sexual enslaved and eventually slut shamed by people like yourself.

Acmepreneur:
Lol, you are indeed the king of Satan, and you just spewed thrashes. I'm not vexed at your write up, but the number of low thinking people that liked the rubbish you typed

No, you are the senseless person here if you can't counter his assertions with valid points.

Women and men should run from narcissists.

sisisioge:
I know right, spelling words correctly isn't one of my strong points

But you agree that women should run from them, right?

pansophist:
Their mothers ain't banging them so y would they ask such from her? Besides the old woman has done well to raise a gentleman that you see and willing to date so all these input about "mothers" is really unnecessary and irrelevant. Quite childish if you ask me. Theres always a limit, you give what you can give. Be in charge of your relationship and not a mumu.

Their sisters ain't banging them so y would they ask such from her? Besides.....


What was I saying again?

NO man can "start his life" at 50.

That makes no sense whatsoever.

Women, like all human beings, have a lot to offer. Anyone who has had a good relationship with a woman, even in platonic relationships, strongly disagrees with you.

wirinet:
The women don't realize that they cannot win an gender war. They fail to realize that they bloom only for a relatively shot period and they become withered. After the flowering age of between 16 to about 30, the only other value they possess is their intelligence, skills and education. A man can start his life at 50. So many abandon previous families and start a new one, ie Ojukwu, FFK, Danjuma and lots more. It's the women that eventually loses.

It is this kind of thinking that keeps you back.

You don't know what you're missing.

UncleJJ:
...

[s]That the only bargaining chip a woman has for a good husband is her youth. [/s]And if she cashes that chip once a good suitor arrives, she will not end up like many marriages we see on nairaland daily.

.

AlhajaChinyere:
You are not making sense. Stop making stupid outlandish statements you cannot back up!

Game identifies game..... It takes one stupid, to identify another stupid........

Why you could not skip my comment, and simply make yours, beats me!!!

Very stupid jobless human being......

UncleJJ:
Regina did nothing wrong.

She decided to marry the man with the money, and not sleep with men for money.
Her decision should be instructive for your sisters and mine.

That the only bargaining chip a woman has for a good husband is her youth. And if she cashes that chip once a good suitor arrives, she will not end up like many marriages we see on nairaland daily.

Such as
- wife sleep with boss for promotion
- husband second child belongs to husbands best friend
- wife is not sexually satisfied
- wife does not respect husband
- husband says wifes vagi-na is slack
- wife has not conceived after years of marriage
- husband sleeps with maid because of her taut derriere

I have to agree with @Ybaby Regina married well. If she did otherwise, she would have certainly ended up like most
Nollywood actresses; sexual enslaved and eventually slut shamed by people like yourself.

Ah!! so real men exist on this forum ... eh?

but you allow these infidels run amock all over the place....

Sigh!!!!!!!!!!

wirinet:
You obviously did not follow the Reginald Daniels story. The reason given by Reginald Daniels father for the break up of the marriage was definitely not lack of provision from the father. He accused the mother of infidelity. I am sure the man realized that Rita Daniels was only after gold and had no iota of love for him. The father is a Lagos based lawyer and he has raised another family.

I don't care about her mother's infidelity - baba Regina is an infidel too - infidels bring out the infidelity in their wives.

If Baba Regina was Otedola, Regina would not have married her new husband.

If you think she took a wrong decision - it is because her father is an infidel.

Someone has to make sure the family's perpetual poverty cycle was put to an end and marriage is a fantastic tool for ending poverty if done right

She married a rich man older than her

Let me take you to the book of Ruth - Ruth saw Boaz while working at his factory (a much older man ) checking her out
- Ruth got home and spoke to her mother figure (in law) who she followed to that city
- Her Mother figure was like really!!! ah! ope o our own done better - she began to prepare Ruth for 3 months so that next time Boaz see her na fire
- When Ruth was looking slay after 3 months of work- Naomi then told her to go to Boaz feet - As Boaz woke up like this - every where scatter!!!!
- He said i for chop you na na but one infidel kinsman dey closer than me to you
- Eventually sha Boaz use sense to remove Kinsman from the way and claimed Naomi
- He said so many men close to your age - but it is me you want sexy thing!
- Na so Boaz marry Ruth o
- Ruth and Naomi lived in wealth

The bible refers to Boaz as Kinsman redeemer, family helper.

You see this above older man and younger woman are the lineage our Lord Christ came from - so you can no be holier than holy.

It is biblical to marry a family redeemer! e yen tun ko..... what is not biblical is marrying an infidel.

Facts!

queengift:
The worst mistake is marrying a vision less man, a man without focus in life,
A man that sees challenges as defeat or end of the road for him.
A man you can't trust or confide in.
A man that you can't lay your head on his shoulders during trials.
A man that is not intelligent
A man that lacks respect for women
A man that don't fear God
A man that's a homosexual.

Young ladies be careful when choosing your partner. Is a life time journey.

Na wa o..where you go jamb am

UncleJJ:
Regina did nothing wrong.

Even though I believe people should be free to live their lives as they deem fit as long as it is in consonance with the law, I would never support any of my 16 year old (or is it 18 years) female relative getting married to a 65 year old grand father for all the billions in this world.
It's just immoral.

She decided to marry the man with the money, and not sleep with men for money.
Her decision should be instructive for your sisters and mine.

Her decision should never be instructive to my sisters. I can never support my 16 year old sister getting married to a 65 year old man. My family does not play with female education. Itsekiris and Niger Deltans in general teach their daughters to be self sufficient and not depend on men for survival.

That the only bargaining chip a woman has for a good husband is her youth. And if she cashes that chip once a good suitor arrives, she will not end up like many marriages we see on nairaland daily.

The only bargaining chip a woman has is not her youth. It depends on what the prospective husband wants in a woman. If it's just sex and a trophy piece, then youth is the most important. But, if it is companionship, intellect, good manners, ability to manage a home, contributions to the family, etc., then youth or should I say looks takes a less important role.

Youth can get a woman a husband, but can youth keep a husband? If youth is the only bargaining chip a woman has in finding a husband, what happens after youth withers and disappears. Once a woman drop one or two babies, youth will disappear like abracadabra, what then happens? The man abandones the old cargo in search of a fresh youth. I call that the Ned Nwoko effect, because he is on his 6th wife. He married a Moroccan wife a couple of years earlier.

Such as
- wife sleep with boss for promotion
- husband second child belongs to husbands best friend
- wife is not sexually satisfied
- wife does not respect husband
- husband says wifes vagi-na is slack
- wife has not conceived after years of marriage
- husband sleeps with maid because of her taut derriere

All the above has little to do with husbands not bringing in enough money. It has more to do with promiscuity and lack of self conyrol of the woman. Many of these women sleep with old poor boyfriends, drivers, cable men, even pastors who are much poorer than thier husbands.

I have to agree with @Ybaby Regina married well. If she did otherwise, she would have certainly ended up like most
Nollywood actresses; sexual enslaved and eventually slut shamed by people like yourself.

A 16 year old girl that married a 65 year old man as a 6th wife married well? So what's the future of the marriage? How will the children she will have for him fare in the overall scheme of things?

There are many Nollywood actresses that are happily married.

Martinez39s:
Don't mind her. Different generations of women, same garbage.

Correct guy.
Upon my cool headedness, that 44 guy gave my main 7 days

That girl reported a comment where I tagged him as a cvnt licker that is in favor of girls reporting.

Bros put 7 days for bullying/insulting a Nairalander.
Nothing spoil sha

wirinet:
Even though I believe people should be free to live their lives as they deem fit as long as it is in consonance with the law, I would never support any of my 16 year old (or is it 18 years) female relative getting married to a 65 year old grand father for all the billions in this world.
It's just immoral.



He decision should never be instructive to my sisters. I can never support my 16 year old sister getting married to a 65 year old man. My family does not play with female education. Itsekiris and Niger Deltans in general teach their daughters to be self sufficient and not depend on men for survival.


The only bargaining chip a woman has is not her youth. It depends on what the prospective husband wants in a woman. If it's just sex and a trophy piece, then youth is the most important. But, if it is companionship, intellect, good manners, ability to manage a home, contributions to the family, etc., then youth or should I say looks takes a less important role.

Youth can get a woman a husband, but can youth keep a husband? If youth is the only bargaining chip a woman has in finding a husband, what happens after youth withers and disappears. Once a woman drop one or two babies, youth will disappear like abracadabra, what then happens? The man abandones the old cargo in search of a fresh youth. I call that the Ned Nwoko effect, because he is on his 6th wife. He married a Moroccan wife a couple of years earlier.


All the above has little to do with husbands not bringing in enough money. It has more to do with promiscuity and lack of self conyrol of the woman. Many of these women sleep with old poor boyfriends, drivers, cable men, even pastors who are much poorer than thier husbands.



A 16 year old girl that married a 65 year old man as a 6th wife married well? So what's the future of the marriage? How will the children she will have for him fare in the overall scheme of things?

There are many Nollywood actresses that are happily married.

Sit down!

A woman marrying a wealthy man does not need your support. She is good!

Take your support to kingsway supermarket and buy ice cold water

cooooooks:
Women and men should run from narcissists.

I agree. Men were not mentioned cos this thread is focused on advising women alone.

Ekene12:
No woman should be talking about Entitled Men here.....All our women have this stupid entitled personality.... Its reason I've not been able figure out who I will marry amongst the ladies I have in life.
There's one I met and first thing she was sounding out was I will be ready to spend and take care of all her needs in a relationship... imagine d nonsense because sex is the only thing she can give...Sometimes I wish I can reverse my age ..Triple my hustle make so much money get out of this country far away from our African ladies and date a proper educated non feminist foreigner... But I'm trapped with Age and commitment.... God help me with them here.

You are free to do anything you want to do. God does not trap, God frees and liberates.
I wish you would strongly reconsider the marrying a non African foreigner bit though .
Meanwhile since you are spoilt for choice about who to marry and clearly can’t choose? You don’t necessarily care about falling in love, do you? Ask your sisters to help you choose. They would easily choose right for you. Have them rank their choice ladies. If they are four for example and they choose A, B, C and D? Strongly consider B. Since many men can marry just about anybody, kukuma have people help you choose well. Men can’t choose right in a lot of cases. And you are an example. Your sisters would always want the best for you. So just choose B. I know why I didn’t choose A. But if B is a total no for you? Be sure to pick A over D. But if they are only two, choose the one they pick. We generally have good intuition and are not confused by body parts

Vyolet:
Who is an entitled man?

A man that thinks he is doing u a favor by being or remaining married to you and because of that

1) he is entitled to your money
2) he is entitled for his whole extended family to have a share of your money
3) Your life is his entitlement infact, live for him, cook for him, fend for him, ask after hin die for him.

Do u know the worst part of all, he never gives you even a little portion of what he believes he is entiled to.

If you meet such people,my sister

Drigby2:
Correct guy.
Upon my cool headedness, that 44 guy gave my main 7 days

That girl reported a comment where I tagged him as a cvnt licker that is in favor of girls reporting.

Bros put 7 days for bullying/insulting a Nairalander.
Nothing spoil sha

I still deh find the mod we collect 7days of my NL account. Whether en use am cook stew I no know. Na ogun go strike am.

Omar09:
I still deh find the mod we collect 7days of my NL account. Whether en use am cook stew I no know. Na ogun go strike am.

E suppose show o. But they removed that option. What I do is that, immediately the ban land, I go check their last login time. Lala, 44 guy and domi.

Na 44 dey logged in, na how I know say na him be the one. Sometimes, without checking, I go just know say na him.
Insecure mofo
Nothing spoil sha.

Gbam .. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD DIRECTLY

Coborona:
I was expecting something better than this

Entitled man?

Come on... It's the other way round

I'm not disputing that there are entitled men..

But more women act entitled

Right from dating... Most Naija ladies to be specific start asking for money to fix hair, to buy phone...
Money that they can't ask their fathers
They were not there when he was hustling, just toasting a Naija babe alone. She starts feeling entitled... I need money for subscription....I want to fix this.... If you shut her down... She starts giving you attitude

I laff, is this is the best counter thread y'all can come up with? this thread is a failure at best, like shooting yourself in the leg or scoring an own goal

Dead on arrival

Spits*

Drigby2:
E suppose show o. But they removed that option. What I do is that, immediately the ban land, I go check their last login time. Lala, 44 guy and domi.

Na 44 dey logged in, na how I know say na him be the one. Sometimes, without checking, I go just know say na him.
Insecure mofo
Nothing spoil sha.

Ogun kee their papa

Omar09:
Ogun kee their papa

Na the usual bias and favoritism. If not Se.un work to eliminate bias, I know say domi go clear half of the comments here, simply because the OP na her friend.

No be her dey move that Jason guy birthday to FP that year. Bias at its best. Ogun kee all their papa there.

Drigby2:
Na the usual bias and favoritism. If not Se.un work to eliminate bias, I know say domi go clear half of the comments here, simply because the OP na her friend.

No be her dey move that Jason guy birthday to FP that year. Bias at its best. Ogun kee all their papa there.

Amen to the last line.

KingSatan:
As a man, a father and a grandfather. I have lived life to an extent and this is my view on this subject.

The previous thread was simple and concise, "Never marry a woman who has no means of income".

But that is the truth!

Gone are the days when people marry "Obiageri's" according to the Igbos.
Back then, things weren't this bad. Considering the family setting in those days, women had no other role than to cook, birth, raise children and clean the house.

So their parents prepare them for marriage, teach them how to cook, satisfy a man and raise children. They also spend alot of time grooming their hairs, taking care of their skin (Some parents send their children to fattening rooms) and waiting to get married.

When we got married, we married to keep them at home and show off to our friends. Only a few of us married because of love. Some of our partners were not our choice but our parents.

So when you marry, your wife and children should always reflect your wealth and networth. Most especially, YOUR WIFE.

I repeat, back then things were not this bad and everyone knew their roles.

But in today's world, so many things have changed.

Women should bring to the table as much as they expect from the man.

Raising children costs alot of money and shouldn't be the responsibility of the man alone.

So many marriages have crashed on the alter of poverty or "One stream of income".

We must learn to tell ourselves the truth always.

Back then, you don't spend so much to raise a child. If he or she wants to go to the community school or follow the white man's way of life, you send them as a punishment. But those humble and loyal sons, follow you to the farm and when they come of age, you give them farmlands and wives if possible. But that's not the case anymore.

Apart from formal education abroad, I also encouraged my children to learn sellable skills. One of my son is a fashion designer and that is what puts food on his table in the UK. His college degree only reflects on his call cards.

I told this to my children (Daughters inclusive) never to marry a man or woman who has no verifiable means of income.

Money is needed to run a home in the 21st century. Alot of money!

We no longer live in mud houses or drink from pots.

As for "Entitlement", I think every couple should have that mentality depending on the context.

The man is entitled to his wife's emotional commitment. She is his wife and this also applies to the man.

I am tired of typing.

To be truthful, i warned my son's against mingling with an average African woman. They simply don't want to know the truth. They hate the truth with Passion and that is why true feminism failed woefully here.

In the Diaspora, most men who want peace of mind avoid African women because of their "Entitlement Mentality" and how exploitative they are.

Many of these women don't work but enjoy proceeds of child support from numerous partners. You think it's a coincidence? No it not. It was deliberate.

They just want to seat at home, get fat, enlarge their butts and walk up and down the street like a pussy cat that resides in Buckingham Palace.

Should I talk about Nigeria, where you meet an average Nigerian lady and realise that;

1. She is a college graduate because a "Man" sponsored her in school (Both of them are no longer together as a couple).

2. She has a roof over her head because a "Man" made that available (She has no intention of marrying him).

3. She uses the best smartphone because a "Man" bought it for her (Just another random man).

4. She has clothes on her body because a "Man" gave her money for shopping (Obviously he is "One of those mugus".

5. She has food on her table because so many men send her money.

This same woman has no other skill but sexual skills. The only thing she can offer is "Sexual Intercourse", "Birthing Children" and "Companionship" but she expects the man to "Mark her birthdays with a brand new Escalade", "Buy her parents a new house and train her younger ones in school". Is that not exploitation?

This same woman hates her mother inlaw because she sees her as her rival. Anyway, women have always hated themselves from time immemorial, don't get moved when you see them shout in solidarity, it's just for a few seconds.

When asked about their contribution in the relationship or Marriage, some will say "I birthed children for him". But that's your natural default woman!

Even if you sleep with a sexually active mad man, you will get pregnant and birth for him.

Some will even say, "I satisfy him sexually. I gave him my body and soul". But that is same thing you did with your numerous ex lovers.

According to Pastor Sam Adeyemi, he said "If a woman does not help her husband financially, then how else does she want to help him".

In this age and time, it takes two adults who have a verifiable means of income to build a healthy family.


Cheers!

You deserve an award

Acmepreneur:
Lol, you are indeed the king of Satan, and you just spewed thrashes. I'm not vexed at your write up, but the number of low thinking people that liked the rubbish you typed

speech of a liability, seeing the truth and criticizing it, well the wise ladies have a lot to learn, if you like continue being blind, the likes tell a lot, numbers don't lie