₦airaland Forum

Truthspoon1:
were you expecting something like "my wife is so beautiful, caring and understanding... I want to divorce her"

Lmao... No, I wasn't. (Lord, this was funny).

I was expecting a more objective story. He's the one telling the story and surely, he'll tell it in way that leaves him with little or no blame; that's human nature. But on the other hand, that defeats the aim. If he wants to get sincere advice, he should try to be as less biased as possible. It's not very likely that his wife, who was loving at a point, is just out to destroy him now that she is abroad. Even bad wives still want successful husbands. Something must have triggered her actions and letting us in on those areas would help us come up with better solutions. But instead, he's telling a story of a villain and her victim. Of course, we will all ask him to leave the woman. So I see this as him asking for moral support for what he already wants to do.

We men should understand that this is not Nigeria and therefore family structures can never be like Nigerian. Couples work together to sustain their homes. In some cases, the wives even work later hours. In such a case, for instance, it becomes illogical to expect the wife to serve you dinner and breakfast as she used to do in Nigeria. This is just an example, I'm not saying that's OP's case.

LinLinGentle:
You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

Are you people Igbo, her family too?

tiredoflife:
So what if they are
Shouldn't they do honest jobs
Should they sell drugs or wire fraud

U are no different from the woman
U will push ur man to steal

No no, I actually meant the guys disturbing us as if we back home can't make it. I don't like wahala so I don't I'd have d strength to stress myself like that.

jullikay:
I thank God for you. I can relate well, when it comes to relationship abroad, especially with African women. I am experiencing something very similar to this now, the difference is that my wife and children have been living abroad before joining them. I left a good banking job in Nigeria, I think I will share my story later. My advice to you is that please don't look back, go ahead with the divorce. African women have destroyed a lot of men because the laws favour them abroad.

Bros the law favors them but wait till you find yourself a vicious divorce lawyer ( though quite expensive) that your wife will be left with nothing to her name. I have noticed that most men are not as petty as women when it comes to divorce. Men just roll over and wants to put a stop to the fight so as to move on with their lives. Men belive they can always start afresh and make it again. While women belive with having kids their lives are over and they will fight tooth and nail to get everything they can from the men. For men that are willing to see it to the end they always come out on top.

monfizzy:
I’ve read all through the thread and this only strengthened my resolve not to get married anytime soon or best put marrying anyone who doesn’t welcome the idea of living in Nigeria while I visit annually aside. I’m a British citizen in my early 30’s seriously considering getting married but in a dilemma of trying to find a balance of either bringing my to-be wife to the U.K. or leave her in Naija with both having it own challenges. However, leaving a woman in Naija seem a lesser evil.

Not particularly surprised by this story coz I’ve had friends who made the mistake of bringing their spouse here all regretting, about 8 in 10 marriages of Nigerians who brought their spouse to the U.K. packed up within 1-3years. A friend is now a stranger in his home and gradually sliding into depression just after a year the wife moved here.

Surprisingly, any girl I get to talk to and give the impression that they’ll live in Naija expresses their discontentment with such arrangement, so they’re looking for who to use and move abroad and destroy their life. Maybe I should just marry a Caucasian and forget about my desire of getting married to an Igbo babe so as to avoid unfortunate stories like this. It’s well

Pls, marry a caucasian. Perhaps that will give you peace of mind.
Are there no Nigerian girls born and bred in England? Are there non there who migrated and already have their papers, a job, family- parents etc over there?
Why must you marry from Nigeria and then live away from your spouse?
There are many Nigerian Igbo girls in the UK, who are citizens, gone to Uni, have a job and have their life together. Why not court them and be friends and eventually marry?
Why come home to marry a stranger who probably doesnt think you're all that and just a means to an end?

The marriages that pack up do so because it's a lot of stress and a rude shock migrating into another country. It takes special grace for a marriage to survive here with no family, no friends, no domestic staff to help you, the weather atimes and even work here is tough. So there is a lot of pressure on immigrants. It's even hard socialising atimes since most people you know are always working with little time to socialise. In Nigeria, there's always one party every weekend, there's always one show/music festival or the other but abroad you're barely lucky to have an owambe to go.

madgoat:
Extend it as soon as possible and do it fast.
Is it also possible to sell off all your properties, including house and move back to Nigeria for a while. Don't mention it to ur wife until u have landed in Nigeria. She's doing all that rubbish because divorce favours women abroad. She will get half of all u have especially if u have no solid prove of infidelity on her part. You should have come to Nigeria to file for divorce and not do it over there.

KEEP US UPDATED

Gbammm

Good angle!!



.

you disclaimed any intentn of painting her the devil n yourself a saint, but dats exactly what u did.

you mentioned somewhere in ur lengthy post dat she was trynna "get back at you", u never bothered to tell us what (or maybe the things) u did, must be unforgivable.

why would any normal woman be trying to throwaway the life most other nigerian women would kill for just to drag u down...i guess u'll say her village pple eh

why do i hv d feeling NL now hire writers to create threads with fake a$$ stories

The issue here is that indefinitely is not really indefinitely. It is until the end of the legal action instituted if it was issued as part of that legal action.
If not, you will still need a judge to make it long-term and because of the kids, a judge may baulk at doing that without a form of provision for her parental rights.
But try. That would be the first step to keeping your home and custody of the kids. But other assets will be given her instead.

Originalsly:
Bro.... Police don't usually give advice. They did.... take it. Keep her out indefinitely ... the minute she steps foot in the house... you will be out... whe4her you do or not. Accusation is enough to get you out. On divorce... it is cheaper to keep them. Do not go thru with it. She will get half of what you own... you may have to support her... the kids you may lose... the expense will run you broke. Do not give her that opportunity. Move on... meep her out of the picture .

Bro, setup a camera, put it on records. Show were she assaulted you. Then take action.

LinLinGentle:
Not a tale bro. This is my life right now, I swear! I am in a very messy situation and cannot reveal my identity cos a lot of people we know are on nairaland.

Just came across the thread now and glad to see the update you added on.
You shouldn't be with this woman.You made the right decision.
Take out a restraining order as well so she could be arrested for coming close to you
I pray you find a good woman that will love you and treat you right.
Dont beat yourself up and stay safe, she sounds psychotic.
This is your side of the story I am sure she also has hers

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

I hope you had a conversation with a divorce attorney prior to filling one.

Not sure which country you reside or which state (if U.S). Sometimes the situation might even be worse when you fill for divorce, like if you have to share your property 50 50 and pay spouse support... she will take half of your property and will never get married again or even want to work because the spousal support will stop.

This is one of the reasons why divorce is sometimes bloody... check OJ Simpson.

People are upset the woman is trying to reap where she did not sow... clean out the guy and guy man don't want to smoke back from ground zero...

Not admiring the bloody divorce tho..
I know a guy that went through this one time.. he kept calm played along, have his men dem in 9ja hype up the lady, around one of the holiday season sent a car to Nigeria told the let's visit home, she gave her a list of what to buy for her and for her whole village..dude purchased all...

On arriving to Lagos after clearing the airport... he took away everything from her including her passport, and filed for divorce in Lagos... this was a very carefully laid out plan...it was an ambush. She was served paperworks the same day she landed in Nigeria. That's all he needed, to serve her the paperwork, she thought it was a joke... she was a no show during proceeding and divorce was granted. It costs a bit a of money but wayyy less than he would have spent in the U.S.

Again, not recommending anything just a story on how people go crazy during this divorce process and also to ask questions prior to filing, like questions on how to come out on top...

People that live in communal property states, some intentional rack up debts , re mortgage the house, like taking off all the meats in the bone then file... knowing that they would lose the bone but again they have securer to "meat" to help them back up from ground zero. It's all about planning.

Cheer up my guy, I have heard so many of these stories from guys in the U.S and Europe and it's not even funny.

A close family friend had same issues as this in the US; and his approach was simple. Bro, use her absence to install CCTV cameras within your home; you'd need all the evidences in court to sail through bearing in mind that in the event of marriage dissolution she'd want to be given custody of your children. She has promised to ruin you but learn to fight back (with civility and tactics) because this isn't the time to be depressed. I feel for but you'dscale through. BE STRONG AND KEEP A CLEAR MIND; you'd need it.

Badgers14:
I hope you had a conversation with a divorce attorney prior to filling one.

Not sure which country you reside or which state (if U.S). Sometimes the situation might even be worse when you fill for divorce, like if you have to share your property 50 50 and pay spouse support... she will take half of your property and will never get married again or even want to work because the spousal support will stop.

This is one of the reasons why divorce is sometimes bloody... check OJ Simpson.

People are upset the woman is trying to reap where she did not sow... clean out the guy and guy man don't want to smoke back from ground zero...

Not admiring the bloody divorce tho..
I know a guy that went through this one time.. he kept calm played along, have his men dem in 9ja hype up the lady, around one of the holiday season sent a car to Nigeria told the let's visit home, she gave her a list of what to buy for her and for her whole village..dude purchased all...

On arriving to Lagos after clearing the airport... he took away everything from her including her passport, and filed for divorce in Lagos... this was a very carefully laid out plan...it was an ambush. She was served paperworks the same day she landed in Nigeria. That's all he needed, to serve her the paperwork, she thought it was a joke... she was a no show during proceeding and divorce was granted. It costs a bit a of money but wayyy less than he would have spent in the U.S.

Again, not recommending anything just a story on how people go crazy during this divorce process and also to ask questions prior to filing, like questions on how to come out on top...

People that live in communal property states, some intentional rack up debts , re mortgage the house, like taking off all the meats in the bone then file... knowing that they would lose the bone but again they have securer to "meat" to help them back up from ground zero. It's all about planning.

Cheer up my guy, I have heard so many of these stories from guys in the U.S and Europe and it's not even funny.

Your guy is just as wicked.
A woman is entitled to proceeds from the marriage in divorce.Being mean to take away everything from her ambushed in a crooked society is not right either.
Dont encourage wickedness especially when there are kids involved

Not if she got into the marriage to hurt someone else.
If she married the guy to get to US/UK and proceeded to make his life a misery, then she should be sent away without a dime where possible

igbowoman:
Your guy is just as wicked.
A woman is entitled to proceeds from the marriage in divorce.Being mean to take away everything from her in a crooked society is not right either

Sankabson:
Reach out to her family member down here. They could be able to talk some senses into her.

Let her know as well, that whatsoever she's doing or up to. The future of her kids are at stake too.

But maybe your own GRA GRA too much for Naija too?! Cos for her to change in just few months... E get why!!

Please go back and reread what he said again with a catch: READ INBETWEEN THE LINES

nawaoo.......just be patient and follow protocols over there, you will be fine.

igbowoman:
Your guy is just as wicked.
A woman is entitled to proceeds from the marriage in divorce.Being mean to take away everything from her ambushed in a crooked society is not right either.
Dont encourage wickedness especially when there are kids involved

Dont judge a book by the cover... you sound like a lady.. women advocate shebi

I wish u all the best but dont pray your brother marry a vulture woman, a saint in Nigeria but mesmerized with watching too many realty T.V comes to yankee and turns Jezebel.. madam you sef will be calling for her head in a platter!

You must have been beastly to her hence her exacting her pound of flesh..


Wish both of you the best now that you are starting the divorce process....


We should all learn to take things easy with each other as spouses .

Your past is catching up with you.

Maybe you should show her that you have changed....?

Badgers14:
Dont judge a book by the cover... you sound like a lady.. women advocate shebi

I wish u all the best but dont pray your brother marry a vulture woman, a saint in Nigeria but mesmerized with watching too many realty T.V comes to yankee and turns Jezebel.. madam you sef will be calling for her head in a platter!

Believe me I have seen worse women.My own relative married one.we begged him to leave her .It is a miracle he came out of it alive.

Martinez39s:
If you are married and you have 4 inches while your handsome, well-built gateman has a 9 inch, wide, hard anaconda.... your wife will surely get attack by your gateman's predator while you are away at work if she is aware of his predator's existence. Dey no tell person.


NB: pun intended

Ahh baa
Bros you use style fall my hand oooo
In today's world of p.. enile sleeve or rings, any smallie should be singing or shouting "alleluia, the Lord is good"
You even get to choose different sizes for different nights.. Leave the "mighty" for Sunday after blessing in church!!

.

OJURONGBE1:
My distant uncle is embroiled in a legal battle with his French wife in Bordeaux. They were living happily in China according to the story he fed my Dad until she was pregnant with their second child and convinced the spouse to allow them relocate to France because Chinese government are Communists where people's rights can be taken with or without their consent and other bothering issues like not being able to practice choice religion.
She promised to care for their accommodation, job hunt and settling in France, which she did.
But that relocation was the genesis of their marital woes. Immediately she gave birth, life became unbearable for 'uncle', who was a party animal, living with reckless abandon (his Facebook & Instagram pages gave me that impression). Now, he has been summoned to court and he's been seeking for spiritual intervention from his folks back home .
I told my Dad , this fella must have done something grievous for that woman to seek injunction. He said no , Femi is not like that as if he lives in France with them.
So it's not only Nigerian women perpetuating that act.

if you marry white woman in Europe I know, the moment she have baby just forget about the marriage. I know thousands of case like this. Even European men don’t marry their women. If you want to live long as a man just stay single, you can live forever.

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

Record everything that happened in d house
Destroy her pass port
Put a very little amount of drugs in her food constantly so in case she get tested she be a drug addict
I can tell u more
But no woman get to mess with me after all my struggles

grafixdon:
This same senero happened to my brother. The guy brought his family to UK. Wify started disrespecting him, he beats her up, she involved police and wholla my brother was sent back to naija without a dime.

Today, he looks like a mad man, no income, no job, take excess alcohol and tramadol.

The woman finished him, uk government sent him packing from his house he suffered to get in uk.

Some women are evil

but this your story is not adding up lol. how did your brother with no papers bring a woman over to the UK ?

@LinLinGentle Excellent grammar mr. man. your story was easy to read and comprehend unlike some of the butchered attempts of English that we try to read on NL daily.

you've tried to be a man but are married to a trouble making quarrelsome harlot. good luck with the divorce proceedings.

the drama reminded me of this recent thread. some women carry too much testosterone.

Husband And Wife Fight Over $300 In Front Of Their Young Children - Family - Nairaland

https://www.nairaland.com/5850601/husband-wife-fight-over-300

PeachtreeReside:
You must have been beastly to her hence her exacting her pound of flesh..


Wish both of you the best now that you are starting the divorce process....


We should all learn to take things easy with each other as spouses .

Your past is catching up with you.

Maybe you should show her that you have changed....?

Yes
There are 2 sides to every story especially man and wife stories.
The bottom line is that the relationship was bad from the very beginning and is now toxic and they need to go their separate ways before someone dies

I'm not married but my advice is try to get everything recorded secretly on a video tape try and get as much as you can, so when she tries to ruin your reputation, you can use the video as evidence

igbowoman:
Believe me I have seen worse women.My own relative married one.we begged him to leave her .It is a miracle he came out of it alive.

Ah ha!!

See whose talking

My dear, I have seen boatload of this, have tried to mediate in quite a handful sad marriages. But my women, my 9ja women... please please!! Marriage in yankee is not all that you watch in Telemundo or real housewives of yada yada... dont forget where you came from..

For my men dem, oga mi calm down a bit marriage is also a give and take... take time to correct madams mistake, it will take time for her to adjust.

But last last, there are couples that have no business to be couples to be honest... there situation just pass Iraq and Iran and the westernized world gives brings out the truth!!

lekki1444:
but this your story is not adding up lol. how did your brother with no papers bring a woman over to the UK ?

With certain criminal convictions people's legal status can be revoked and they are deported .I know 2 people it happened to

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

buy Glock gun with a silencer.

This is very apt. The lack of objectivity in the post is astounding. A woman suddenly just wants to destroy him and their children and indirectly destroy herself for no reason at all? He keeps downplaying his own part by saying 'he is not a saint', so is he well aware he did things as well. Ultimately, we are all responsible for our actions, but no one is ever completely innocent. I think he should also dig deep and be honest about the contributory actions he enabled as well. Even Jezebel didnt mess with her husband's prosperity!

etrange:
Lmao... No, I wasn't. (Lord, this was funny).

I was expecting a more objective story. He's the one telling the story and surely, he'll tell it in way that leaves him with little or no blame; that's human nature. But on the other hand, that defeats the aim. If he wants to get sincere advice, he should try to be as less biased as possible. It's not very likely that his wife, who was loving at a point, is just out to destroy him now that she is abroad. Even bad wives still want successful husbands. Something must have triggered her actions and letting us in on those areas would help us come up with better solutions. But instead, he's telling a story of a villain and her victim. Of course, we will all ask him to leave the woman. So I see this as him asking for moral support for what he already wants to do.

We men should understand that this is not Nigeria and therefore family structures can never be like Nigerian. Couples work together to sustain their homes. In some cases, the wives even work later hours. In such a case, for instance, it becomes illogical to expect the wife to serve you dinner and breakfast as she used to do in Nigeria. This is just an example, I'm not saying that's OP's case.

What a woman..!
You just want to use your bad attitude to scatter your home that you spent years building?
Nawa ooh.

igbowoman:
With certain criminal convictions people's legal status can be revoked and they are deported .I know 2 people it happened to

yes but domestic abuse is not one of those