₦airaland Forum

My advise,

Do all you can to make sure that woman (sorry.. she's no longer your wife) suffers beyond measure. .. (I'm telling you from a relatives experience).

These kind of people only respond to fatal force not reasoning - the more you cry, beg, the more arrogant and bossier she'd get.

This same happened to someone close to me too..if she tells you - she'll ruin your career, she means it & she's doing it howbeit now in piecemeal.

Make them no locate you oo

perryy:
Exactly bro. A reasonable woman would have been thanking God for giving her all the ability to endure the man's overbearing attitude while in Nigeria because of the new life she found herself. She wouldn't have remembered the past let alone thinking of bringing the man down. Well, I blame the man for taking her abroad, did he not see the redflag?

Why not? He saw the red flags but you know, some persons always think they can change others even if such persons are not ready to change. That's why it is important to court a girl for a long period of time before thinking of marrying her.

During the courtship, both will see all the redflags of the other partner. If it is something that you can't tolerate and you know the person won't change, that's the proper time to end such a relationship.

But so many will always overlook those redflags. What they don't know is that a Chameleon will never change its color. It is after they get married to the person they will realise that they've made a great mistake marrying such a person.

obataokenwa:
What will you guys gain by ending someone's career. The woman can walk away jeje and continue her life...this life too sweet..

You hold one down, you hold yourself.

The disclaimer is false. Any reasonable person should know that. Think!

Wow! front page....

I read a few comments posted by some trolls who claim they know me and are threatening to update the blog when they have finished bringing me down. Well, if your claims are indeed true, there is nothing to worry about then. Let us all allow an unbiased legal system to deal with the situation while both parties present all evidences they have. It's so funny how people don't know when to advise parties embroiled in a toxic marriage to move on peacefully, instead of triggering them further to take disruptive steps that could ruin the lives and future of some innocent children who were not there when they were happily shagging.

Whoever you are, remember this and inform my toxic ''soon to be ex-wife'' that...

‘BEFORE SETTING OUT FOR REVENGE, FIRST DIG TWO GRAVES: ONE FOR YOUR ENEMY AND ONE FOR YOURSELF'

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

mehn this got me so Emotional right now. how i wish i can reach ur wife. she is under a spell.

For someone who went into debt just to bring his wife and kids abroad (I.e plane tickets), because visa fees are only a few hundred dollars a piece.
I wonder what he has that she will take from him in a divorce

Some of you are hilarious when you type long nonsense thinking it makes sense.

Badgers14:
I hope you had a conversation with a divorce attorney prior to filling one.

Not sure which country you reside or which state (if U.S). Sometimes the situation might even be worse when you fill for divorce, like if you have to share your property 50 50 and pay spouse support... she will take half of your property and will never get married again or even want to work because the spousal support will stop.

This is one of the reasons why divorce is sometimes bloody... check OJ Simpson.

People are upset the woman is trying to reap where she did not sow... clean out the guy and guy man don't want to smoke back from ground zero...

Not admiring the bloody divorce tho..
I know a guy that went through this one time.. he kept calm played along, have his men dem in 9ja hype up the lady, around one of the holiday season sent a car to Nigeria told the let's visit home, she gave her a list of what to buy for her and for her whole village..dude purchased all...

On arriving to Lagos after clearing the airport... he took away everything from her including her passport, and filed for divorce in Lagos... this was a very carefully laid out plan...it was an ambush. She was served paperworks the same day she landed in Nigeria. That's all he needed, to serve her the paperwork, she thought it was a joke... she was a no show during proceeding and divorce was granted. It costs a bit a of money but wayyy less than he would have spent in the U.S.

Again, not recommending anything just a story on how people go crazy during this divorce process and also to ask questions prior to filing, like questions on how to come out on top...

People that live in communal property states, some intentional rack up debts , re mortgage the house, like taking off all the meats in the bone then file... knowing that they would lose the bone but again they have securer to "meat" to help them back up from ground zero. It's all about planning.

Cheer up my guy, I have heard so many of these stories from guys in the U.S and Europe and it's not even funny.

Also a forcefully seized passport can be reported stolen. All she needs is to make the call and give them her SSN. It will only time a little while before the old one is deactivated and she gets a new one. Apparently she’s a citizen since only citizens can own American passports. I’m assuming he didn’t lock her up somewhere where she has no access to phones.

Make una softly with all these feel-good stories that obviously reek of lies to anyone who knows better. Sounds like the figments of someone’s imagination.
Things they hope they could do but obviously can’t.

Badgers14:
Dont judge a book by the cover... you sound like a lady.. women advocate shebi

I wish u all the best but dont pray your brother marry a vulture woman, a saint in Nigeria but mesmerized with watching too many realty T.V comes to yankee and turns Jezebel.. madam you sef will be calling for her head in a platter!

EgunMogaji2:
They have one scheme in their playbook. She can qualify for a green card based on injured spouse.

Unfortunately OP cannot win this as his post shows that he’s still looking at her as if she’s that sweet Sisi Clara from Oshodi. She’s now Shaquina

Ogaa oooo

At the risk of sending him to jail, she's ready to do all that just to get green card!

I'm not one to deem a marriage a failed exercise except where there's potential risk to life or unrepentant adultery.

But looks like Op's has gone past its sell-by date!!


.

To all those saying take her back to Nigeria and seize her papers, I never even thought of that cos my wife is not a gentle soul that you would just take to Nigeria and take documents from. She would make a lot of trouble if I did this, so that was never even on the table. I don't even care if she remains in this country as long as I have some peace in my life and my children are well looked after.

When I initially tried to get us to travel to Nigeria, it was to only to de-escalate the volatile situation, cos it was beginning to look like we were on a slippery slope downhill with the kids being very vulnerable and I thought that the initial shock of moving abroad, was what was getting to her and exacerbating her aggression.

More so, how can you forcefully whisk away an unwilling adult to the airport like a puppy, just to get them to travel to Nigeria with you. This lady had no intention to travelling even after initially agreeing and made me purchase a flight ticket.

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

I was very furious at the beginning but that "update" gladdens my heart. Everyone should know this: No one has the right to make your life miserable unless you give them the permission to do so. If anyone try to make your life miserable, cut them off.

LinLinGentle:
Wow! front page....

I read a few comments posted by some trolls who claim they know me and are threatening to update the blog when they have finished bringing me down. Well, if your claims are indeed true, there is nothing to worry about then. Let us all allow an unbiased legal system to deal with the situation while both parties present all evidences they have. It's so funny how people don't know when to advise parties embroiled in a toxic marriage to move on peacefully, instead of triggering them further to take disruptive steps that could ruin the lives and future of some innocent children who were not there when they were happily shagging.

Whoever you are, remember this and inform my toxic ''soon to be ex-wife'' that...

‘BEFORE SETTING OUT FOR REVENGE, FIRST DIG TWO GRAVES: ONE FOR YOUR ENEMY AND ONE FOR YOURSELF'

Oh Tunde why should I troll you, I mean for what reason when you know deep in your mind I am saying the truth. You got away with domestic violence in Nigeria because the system does not work there. You turned your wife to a drum both inside an outside the home. You won't get away with all these in saner climes. She protected your career more than you protecting it because if she was wise enough she would have reported your ass to the authorities a long while ago when you started your DV attitude in England. You played her by setting a trap for her to get her out of the house by manipulating your first child against her because that's not her child. Haven't you been begging her through your friends to come back home to help take care of the kids. I won't open your yansh more or dignify you with a response because everyone know you are a pathological liar including the authorities. Keep faith as the chicken will definitely come home to roost.

Ayomidate:
So this doctor is here again to tarnish the image of his wife. When will you rest Mr docki. You go from one blog to the other creating fake username to justify what you did to a loving and loyal woman. Why not tell them on this forum how you use to beat your wife black and blue in Nigeria. Why not tell them on this forum how the police has arrested you on various occasion in Nigeria for beating up your wife. Remember to also let people hailing you on this forum know how you have a case with the human rights commission back home over your senseless beatings and abuse. Good thing you moved her to the UK last year. How have you been treating her since she moved to the UK?

You don't allow her to work, the moment she picks a shift with her agency you run away from the house so she can stay with your three kids. Don't forget the first kid isn't hers but she cared for the kids and lied to immigration the kid is hers to bring the boy here. You kept using the boy against her in the UK to disrespect her and lie to the police. You put cameras all over the house because you were expecting her to beat the boy one day so you can file child abuse against her but God pass you.

Kindly tell this forum how your wife has not been able to have just £50 in her name since she moved to England because you don't allow her work. You don't even give her money for food rather keep the food in your own bedroom. Tell people here how you use to seize her mobile phone not to get in touch with her family and friends back home and you did not allow her to keep friends in England. You've broken her phone on two occasions in your Plymouth abode and she kept hanging on to the marriage to make it work.

Kindly explain to this forum how you login into her social media account to chat with her male friends by trying to be her to see if she is dating anyone. You are the same person using her email address opened on your laptop to contact social workers that everything is fine when she reported you. Have you also forgotten all the threats you made to her if she ever end your career here and how you will end her life. You were only lucky to make a first report against her which were all concocted lies and she was giving a retraining order. You can go ahead and get all the restraining order you want in the UK but very soon you will roast.

She kept quiet all these while to save your career as a medical doctor but don't worry as the evidences against you are quite overwhelming. You can keep running for the little time you have but just kiss your career goodbye. This lady don too suffer and it will soon be payback time. Everything you were able to get away with in Nigeria has been unravelled. This is England you know and not naija�

If all the above is true, why hasn't she sought solace at a women's refuge..
Admittedly, its not at all comfortable, but persevering will always pay off.

(I find it hard to believe the above given that he's successfully been able to get a restraining order against her.)

What you describe is Coercive control which is a big deal currently and would get her sympathy pretty quickly.



What about places of worship to engage with counseling to aid her increasing independence.

This life is easy. I say to myself... ....leave the house with your children and save yourself the drama



.

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

Chai village prople at work. Give me her name so I can work on it.
I dont like seeing my fellow man humiliated

Mindlog:
Newly registered username, another tale.

It seems like Nollywood, Igbowood, Yorubawood and Urhobowood script writers just stormed Nairaland with tales.

doeeyed:
If all the above is true, why hasn't she sought solace at a women's refuge..
Admittedly, its not at all comfortable, but persevering will always pay off.

(I find it hard to believe the above given that he's successfully been able to get a restraining order against her.)

What you describe is Coercive control which is a big deal currently and would get her sympathy pretty quickly.



What about places of worship to engage with counseling to aid her increasing independence.

This life is easy. I say yo myself... ....leave the house with your children and save yourself the drama



.

The husband is manipulative, she is new to the system and doesn't understand anything. He seizes her phone and has even broken her phone on two occasions within the last six months on the basis of he got it for her. He alienated her from making friends or working so that way no one will be able to let her know how to report an issue. He chats through her phone to her friends back home and her family pretending to be her. He even block her friends when they discover she is not the one they are chatting with. Sometimes when he beats her up he seizes her phone so she won't be able to reach out. He was only able to get the restraining order because she consented to it. She went to the court with her advocate and agreed to stay away from him because she is tired already too. Her family back home has been able to reach out to some people in the UK who has helped her to make some major moves which I won't want to divulge. She is currently under the care and protection of the council and been provided for in terms of accommodation and feeding. Alot of organisations are interested in her case too. She kept quiet initially because she was trying to save his career and protect the kids. He has told her loads of times if she ever makes a report that ends his career he will make sure he kills her which is on tape. He tried to delete most of her evidences from her phone but God pass am. See the way he portrayed a good story here. That dude is a charlatan and he will definitely get served soon. He needs to seek peace with God and beg for forgiveness as he has female siblings and daughter too. Need I tell you that he still has ongoing case with the Nigerian human rights commission over this same DV and he is a regular face with police in Nigeria. He can deceive people here with his tales by moonlight but reality will soon dawn on him.

Ayomidate:
The husband is manipulative, she is new to the system and doesn't understand anything. He seizes her phone and has even broken her phone on two occasions within the last six months on the basis of he got it for her. He alienated her from making friends or working so that way no one will be able to let her know how to report an issue. He chats through her phone to her friends back home and her family pretending to be her. He even block her friends when they discover she is not the one they are chatting with. Sometimes when he beats her up he seizes her phone so she won't be able to reach out. He was only able to get the restraining order because she consented to it. She went to the court with her advocate and agreed to stay away from him because she is tired already too. Her family back home has been able to reach out to some people in the UK who has helped her to make some major moves which I won't want to divulge. She is currently under the care and protection of the council and been provided for in terms of accommodation and feeding. Alot of organisations are interested in her case too. She kept quiet initially because she was trying to save his career and protect the kids. He has told her loads of times if she ever makes a report that ends his career he will make sure he kills her which is on tape. He tried to delete most of her evidences from her phone but God pass am. See the way he portrayed a good story here. That dude is a charlatan and he will definitely get served soon. He needs to seek peace with God and beg for forgiveness as he has female siblings and daughter too. Need I tell you that he still has ongoing case with the Nigerian human rights commission over this same DV and he is a regular face with police in Nigeria. He can deceive people here with his tales by moonlight but reality will soon dawn on him.

Now you have a the evidences just to bring a man down. Seek peace and find it. Let the woman choose another life for herself outside the guy and move on please...I see one person going mad cos of this issue. Mark my words

emmaodet:
It is really saddening that our so called beautiful angels, african queens with african cultures are really not what we think they are.
Also, i noticed there is this Deep seated hatred for men by women but they quietly and silently mask it by been submissive and respectful when in nigeria but abroad you will see a full blow lion ready to pounce on you at any minute.
Oooohhhh nooooooooo
This is not what i envisage in our dear women, how did we get to this stage? Which devil is inspiring our women aginst us? They have become Rebellious.

Nigerian men - learn to leave women alone, DONT MARRY!

I can give you some ideas - I hate to do this, but always prepare for the worse.

1. make sure she never gets a job.. if necessary follow her, know her potential employers & tell them who she really is since the police has arrested her once they will quickly understand

2. plan a vacation to any African country (if you say Nigeria, she might catch the game), once there, abandon her & find your way. beg her as usual if necessary, she has to believe you for this to work.

she's no longer your wife or friend. she's now an enemy. treat her as one

eni4real:
And someone was saying Surrogate Mother is more expensive??

Marriage is far becoming a scam nowadays!!!

I pity hardworking men

You'd still need a nanny amongst others...


Try to choose the woman n her family carefully... Then fortify yourself legally......That's by a watertight prenup, postnup and choose the wedding location carefully not to invalidate/ water down your legal docs.


.

obataokenwa:
Now you have a the evidences just to bring a man down. Seek peace and find it. Let the woman choose another life for herself outside the guy and move on please...I see one person going mad cos of this issue. Mark my words

Guy if you want to go mad then feel free to. They are both adults, know what they are getting into and have a story. You can't threaten anyone with madness as you are not God

Ayomidate:
Guy if you want to go mad then feel free to. They are both adults, know what they are getting into and have a story. You can't threaten anyone with madness as you are not God

You're part of that woman's problem...I know your type, you will fill her brain with hate and a way to deal with the guy. You're more wicked than the devil and you're the devil in this issue right now.

AlhajaChinyere:
Nigerian men - learn to leave women alone, DONT MARRY!

Of course, most guys are getting wiser and will do that.

Ayomidate:
The husband is manipulative, she is new to the system and doesn't understand anything. He seizes her phone and has even broken her phone on two occasions within the last six months on the basis of he got it for her. He alienated her from making friends or working so that way no one will be able to let her know how to report an issue. He chats through her phone to her friends back home and her family pretending to be her. He even block her friends when they discover she is not the one they are chatting with. Sometimes when he beats her up he seizes her phone so she won't be able to reach out. He was only able to get the restraining order because she consented to it. She went to the court with her advocate and agreed to stay away from him because she is tired already too. Her family back home has been able to reach out to some people in the UK who has helped her to make some major moves which I won't want to divulge. She is currently under the care and protection of the council and been provided for in terms of accommodation and feeding. Alot of organisations are interested in her case too. She kept quiet initially because she was trying to save his career and protect the kids. He has told her loads of times if she ever makes a report that ends his career he will make sure he kills her which is on tape. He tried to delete most of her evidences from her phone but God pass am. See the way he portrayed a good story here. That dude is a charlatan and he will definitely get served soon. He needs to seek peace with God and beg for forgiveness as he has female siblings and daughter too. Need I tell you that he still has ongoing case with the Nigerian human rights commission over this same DV and he is a regular face with police in Nigeria. He can deceive people here with his tales by moonlight but reality will soon dawn on him.

I'm glad there's progress from her perspective... She needs to walk away and get herself back.

Shame she might have to leave the children, but she needs healing, in and out given her experience according to your narrative....


This life sha..its deep!!


.

Na real wa

Ayomidate:
So this doctor is here again to tarnish the image of his wife. When will you rest Mr docki. You go from one blog to the other creating fake username to justify what you did to a loving and loyal woman. Why not tell them on this forum how you use to beat your wife black and blue in Nigeria. Why not tell them on this forum how the police has arrested you on various occasion in Nigeria for beating up your wife. Remember to also let people hailing you on this forum know how you have a case with the human rights commission back home over your senseless beatings and abuse. Good thing you moved her to the UK last year. How have you been treating her since she moved to the UK?

You don't allow her to work, the moment she picks a shift with her agency you run away from the house so she can stay with your three kids. Don't forget the first kid isn't hers but she cared for the kids and lied to immigration the kid is hers to bring the boy here. You kept using the boy against her in the UK to disrespect her and lie to the police. You put cameras all over the house because you were expecting her to beat the boy one day so you can file child abuse against her but God pass you.

Kindly tell this forum how your wife has not been able to have just £50 in her name since she moved to England because you don't allow her work. You don't even give her money for food rather keep the food in your own bedroom. Tell people here how you use to seize her mobile phone not to get in touch with her family and friends back home and you did not allow her to keep friends in England. You've broken her phone on two occasions in your Plymouth abode and she kept hanging on to the marriage to make it work.

Kindly explain to this forum how you login into her social media account to chat with her male friends by trying to be her to see if she is dating anyone. You are the same person using her email address opened on your laptop to contact social workers that everything is fine when she reported you. Have you also forgotten all the threats you made to her if she ever end your career here and how you will end her life. You were only lucky to make a first report against her which were all concocted lies and she was giving a retraining order. You can go ahead and get all the restraining order you want in the UK but very soon you will roast.

She kept quiet all these while to save your career as a medical doctor but don't worry as the evidences against you are quite overwhelming. You can keep running for the little time you have but just kiss your career goodbye. This lady don too suffer and it will soon be payback time. Everything you were able to get away with in Nigeria has been unravelled. This is England you know and not naija�

Keep writing your fantasy stories

Ayomidate:
Oh Tunde why should I troll you, I mean for what reason when you know deep in your mind I am saying the truth. You got away with domestic violence in Nigeria because the system does not work there. You turned your wife to a drum both inside an outside the home. You won't get away with all these in saner climes. She protected your career more than you protecting it because if she was wise enough she would have reported your ass to the authorities a long while ago when you started your DV attitude in England. You played her by setting a trap for her to get her out of the house by manipulating your first child against her because that's not her child. Haven't you been begging her through your friends to come back home to help take care of the kids. I won't open your yansh more or dignify you with a response because everyone know you are a pathological liar including the authorities. Keep faith as the chicken will definitely come home to roost.

IF YOU WANT THE BEST FOR THE PARTY YOU'RE SUPPORTING, DELETE ALL IDENTITY REVEALING INFORMATION COS IT MAY NOT HELP THEIR LEGAL TUSSLE AND CAUSE MORE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE TO THE ONE YOU'RE SUPPORTING

How foolish of you to start revealing their identity! You are going to put your sister in more distress, should this spiral out of control. If she is actually a victim as you have claimed and you put her matter in public domain, you would be causing more harm than good. All of you encouraging her to keep the toxicity and disruptions going have no plan for their children I am sure. All these drama will end in one of two ways:

1. A peaceful divorce where both parties count their losses and move on with their lives, the care of their children being the most paramount thing. One of the parents is likely to remain abroad this way and would still be economically viable to care for those poor kids.

2. You keep encouraging them to cause more troubles and constitute nuisance in a foreign country leading to one or both in jail, deported and children becoming destitute.

Please ask you sister to divorce and move on. The gentleman is not the only man in the world

obataokenwa:
You're part of that woman's problem...I know your type, you will fill her brain with hate and a way to deal with the guy. You're more wicked than the devil and you're the devil in this issue right now.

Lol, if you are not the OP then I really need not give u any response. When your sibling is treated the same way kindly keep shut. As for us we look out for the best of our family. If she wanted to bring him down she would have all these while and right now since they've both decided to invite the law into their home with him making the first move then let the law take its course.

Aliii:
I am already angry for matter weh nor be my own..bro seriously she's your end,you better leave now ,go to somewhere where she can't see you again ..then she knows what abroad is all about ,I hate Nigerian women they are a mess of themselves when they get abroad.

So it's all the ladies' fault? In Nigeria, women are generally mistreated. So when they travel out to civilized countries, they tend to compensate and return the 'favor'.

.

Aliii:
I am already angry for matter weh nor be my own..bro seriously she's your end,you better leave now ,go to somewhere where she can't see you again ..then she knows what abroad is all about ,I hate Nigerian women they are a mess of themselves when they get abroad.

God bless u.thesame thing i was going to say

cococandy:
Also a forcefully seized passport can be reported stolen. All she needs is to make the call and give them her SSN. It will only time a little while before the old one is deactivated and she gets a new one. Apparently she’s a citizen since only citizens can own American passports. I’m assuming he didn’t lock her up somewhere where she has no access to phones.

Make una softly with all these feel-good stories that obviously reek of lies to anyone who knows better. Sounds like the figments of someone’s imagination.
Things they hope they could do but obviously can’t.

Dont fill in the blanks in your head to fit your own narrative. Ask real questions to find out the real answers.

Who told you she was a citizen? Which countries passport did the lady have?? Who gave you all these crap you thought it was information? You just manufactured scenes to fit your imagination, that doesn't mean your imagination is the reality.

Again, divorce could be dirty sometimes that why I said planning prior to divorce to figure out a way to come out on top at the end.

Remember not everything people assume is "wrong" is illegal. Dude didn't break any law.

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

If you can find a trustworthy ally to start helping you set up in Nigeria, you better do so. If you want to be deceived na you know ooo. That woman is taking over. Take it or Leave it. Person wey you suppose leave for Naija jeje.