₦airaland Forum

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Yaaaaaa that's true I agree with you dear

Red Flag!!!!!!
Kindly let go of d relationship, but do it gradually.
It's for d best, I wish I could share a personal experience regarding the topic but I can't type.

@Cynosuree

I would rather you explained what the issue is clearly.
Do you mean he's not capable of establishing, contributing to, or initiating an intelligent discussion? By your intelligent discussion, do you mean the contents of his conversations do not carry weight or show someone who is of high intellects?

Or you meant he's a man of few words who's always straight to the point and doesn't enjoy or fancy chatty and extended conversations? an introvert?

How does he relate when you peoole communicate physically? Or is it that you want someone who initiates interesting conversations for an extended period of time (as all women do), even though it's not of high intellects?

React to any of these before I say my final, observed opinion.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Some guys are clueless babe its thier nature and incase you don't know you can never have it all in one basket so why not focus more on his positive sides as you have mentioned above instead of worrying about one single thing he can't do?

Chai! If a man is not rich, they say he's poor nd a turn off. If he's rich they still find fault, if he's ugly, they say he's a monkey, if he's handsome they say he's rude and cocky .

If he has big manhood, they say he want to kill person pikin, nd if he has small manhood that one bad pass. If he's too intelligent they say na over sabi, the opposite they say not smart. This women matter tire me sef.

Something that makes one love someone is that thing he or she can't get enough. There must be something to love that you can't get elsewhere for love to exist.

Let me simply tell you this, what interests him might not interest you. He possibly may channels his energy elsewhere, so no point in wasting energy on what don't bring food to table.

If you like, talk from today till next year, I can only listen to you, and when I'm bored of the conversation, I pretend as if I'm sleeping.

If you can't cope with that, kindly find someone who will talk the shit out of you.

Everybody doesn't have to be story teller like you... That's his kind of person, and asking how are you? What did you eat and so on, isn't it a good thing?


Dear sis, please leave him and go so he'll have peace and rest sef.

Blackmoran:
Do you want a relationship or a co debatetor. As a guy, want I want from a girl are all is feminine trait I don't want to get home and be talking about politics or geography, I got my guys to do that with.... After a long day at work and stress and argument I want to get back home to peace and quietness I don't want debate....

If you marry a dumb woman for the sake of your selfishness, your children will pay for it.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Break up with him.

All the guys commenting una fall my hands. Na boys like una make the OP do this post

Snipespeter:
This life self, you try to hold a meaningful conversation with your girlfriend she will say that you are claiming you know it all.
You keep quiet for peace to reign, they say you are not smart. I tire oh

Bro, u're factually apt & very correct!

To an appreciable extent, I can personally attest 2 d point u made abv!

Have been chatting wit dis fb friend of mine 4 a couple of days dt we became friends only 4 her 2 frankly & firmly tell me at a point dt she doesn't like my type of person who claims 2 know all!

Meanwhile, to be candid, I've neva 4 once tryna correct her on any issue else I wld hv said dt might possibly be d reason 4 her misguided submission!

In fact, she threatened 2 block me off & I responded by appreciating her 4 d brief time we hv shared 2geda & then bade her bye bye!

I immediately got off her DM without looking back ever again 2 check weda or not she has blocked me!

But, all thru I remained unruffled & unfazed without an iota of ill-feeling regarding her bluff!

However, weeks after dt, there she was hailing on my DM, ''my friend, my Prof, how're u doing?''

Of course, I dignified her wit a warm response & till date we've been having convo & most of d time, she'll be d one 2 hail 1st or even drop msgs 4 me in case I'm offline!

Later on, she freely dropped her WhatsApp digits 4 me, claiming she chats better on WhatsApp than anywhere else!

We've ever since then been communicating & she's responding respectfully well than ever b4 her initial rebuff!

PunchLine:

Most ladies don't even know what exactly they really want, yet they're everywhere on d look out 4 it and they keep blaming guys 4 not offering them dt exact thing they wldn't know!

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

talk true o another "conversation holder" is eating from your pot.

How does not being social amount to being less intelligent? Smh
So if you tell he isn’t intelligent where can he go buy it?
My dear move on to your new found luv or go get the boyfriend of your dream and leave the poor boy alone. If a partner isn’t someone you want you move on not make them feel inadequate. That’s who you fell in love with and proudly dated for 6 months. Hope the social person you find next will be in luv with you like he is you know

You guys simply have nothing in common, there is no such thing as being absolutely smart, a physics professor can be a dummy when it comes to arts or other forms of sciences.


Plus, I think you are being ridiculous thinking he should be able to talk about quantum theory, do you think you understand it yourself, quantum physics is such a niche topic to expect someone to be vast in.

I will say you are expecting too much, if you can hold conversations about everyday things you are fine

The most problematic creature or thing on earth is woman. Even when they are completely wrecked they will still give you serious problem. And if you check very well, she is the dumb and she would never think that maybe the guy is trying to come down to her level

he's not smart? that guy can actually be smarter than you!!!!

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Ladies get problem sha,is it a most for him to follow trend ladies will never be satisfy

Becareful of him, he may be smarter than your imagination which accumulates your sense of assumption that revolves your own intelligence.

SweetCunt97:
If u love him, simply let it go. Find another intelligent person to gist current affairs with.

O.P one enemy of your spotted!!!!

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

You're the problem. Not your boyfriend. Nigerian women would never ever be satisfied. That's why they get easily dumped.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Break up with him and date Mynd44 or Justwise

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

you are lying and this is just a post to measure public opinion with fake story...

good luck to anyone who wishes to answer

I love your submission. This piece is mind blowing and they are nothing but the Truth.more ink to your majestical pen.

Amotolongbo:
Some people are like that, while having a conversation with people, they aren’t so up and sound as they are expected to be. But when they are on their own meditating and strategizing, they come out with a near perfect answers and solutions.

Please don’t tell him bluntly if you know you are tired being with him and wanna quit the relationship. Don’t leave a bad blood behind while saying goodbye

Honestly @dear OP, perhaps you are the swift and sound type in reasoning, while your partner is a very relatively sluggish one in intellectual reasoning, there will surely be problem in synchronizing his response with your question and expectations because he may need extra time to think over it before he can give you the right answer.

Another problem I can see in this kinda relationship is that you seem to be the type that already have and answer to any question you ask your partner and expecting him to give that exact answer you have in mind. No, things don’t work that way. We are all products of different backgrounds, families and environments. This makes us to give different opinions and responses to the same interviews and questions.

You can also help him, developing interest in many fields such as politics, sports, entertainment et al. For example, listening to the news together and watching the news and discussing on political issues together.

Caxmir:
As everything shouldn't be about you, you , you...... he might be a foodie, perfume freak, Bible eater, spice analyst, meat biologist but no!! you won't talk about those, forcing your opinions and topics down his keypad, making a young elder brother unhappy.

He definitely does not have interest in discussing her topics and if at all, not with her. I bet when he brings up his topic of interest eg the ones quoted she wud waive it off with short answers.

OP u nid to find a balance or a new partner
Wud suggest you find a balance because

The Devil wey you sabi pay pass the Angel wey u Neva meet o

Most 9ja women don't know what they want

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

There's a big possibility that he's just intimidated by your sauciness and yr sexiness being a big booty Kaduna girl. He never imagined he'd have a shining star like you so he suffers from shyness induced brain block whenever you're together.
Can he keep in the sheets tho?

Benwallt:
The most problematic creature or thing on earth is woman. Even when they are completely wrecked they will still give you serious problem. And if you check very well, she is the dumb and she would never think that maybe the guy is trying to come down to her level

This happens a lot too but I've never looked at it from this perspective o. So they usually imagine guys are dumb when we don't answer the way the expect.

jeff1607:
A man talks , he talks too much

He doesn't talk , now he isn't intelligent

na wa o

you can't have everything you need in a partner, focus on his strong and attractive attributes.

if it isn't enough let him go

Baba I tire. Most of these ladies are confused twats!

Wetin quantum theory or Laplace transformation get to do with love/relationship?
If you dey find 100% package product for this world you no go see.

There is more to this, I'm sensing the fact that, you have seen another guy and trying to look for an excuse so you can later lay blame on the wrong advice.

CsRockefeller:


Very funny thread.

I wanted to say something but on the contrary, I don't have the strength to type.

Same here.

All that's needed here's understanding.

If you observe some flaw or bad characteristics, try to change it by suggesting and speaking with the partner in question with the intention to help...

Maybe like "hey babe, I would like our conversation to have a bit more juice to it. Lets see if we can last 10 mins on any random topic"

But if your goal is to tell him point blank he is not smart, just know that you maybe actively trying to stress that relationship cos what's the need of telling someone he's not smart, you simply want him to feel bad and that's not something you want for someone you claim you like.

Truth doesn't always have to be bitter, one can always say truth with commitment to help as per your partnership. If you do not intend to help, no need having to stress em.