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Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? - Romance (9) - Nairaland

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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Dahmayor(m): 7:43pm On Jun 07, 2020
Sapoiosexual spotted..... Listen you better hold what you have tightly,if you claim to be intellegent as you think helping him won't be so hard for you. PEACE
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Christian07(m): 7:43pm On Jun 07, 2020
I ave read everybody’s comment and what I come to know is that if d girl can’t accept d way d guy is cuz you will gt tied of him jst a space of time you jst have to leave him peaceful than keep hurting him he deserves better

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by BarristerAlarig: 7:43pm On Jun 07, 2020
jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

A sapiosexual who uses "am" instead of " i'm"? Yeah, I bet you're super smart.

4 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Americanboy35: 7:44pm On Jun 07, 2020
You can't satisfy human beings
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by MedicH: 7:44pm On Jun 07, 2020
SweetCunt97:
If u love him, simply let it go. Find another intelligent person to gist current affairs with.

i swear.. to discuss how the carbon and hydrogen atoms arrange themselves comfortably on the 4 corners of a regular tetrahedron in sp3 hybridization
haha

kposhi kposhi

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by LoveThemChubby(m): 7:45pm On Jun 07, 2020
Hmmmm I perfectly understand your pains and frustration as I have been in such a relationship myself. Mine was so bad that sometimes when I seek her opinion about a matter, she will ask me what my opinion is and I will be like wdf? How can you ask for my opinion brfore dishing out yours? What is thd point if ny oan opinion is going to influence yours?
Here is what I did:
I became more frequent on Nairaland and other Facebook groups just scouting for real stories and sharing with her so that she can contribute. Initially it was hell because all she will reply is "hmmmm" or "na wao". I had to let her know that I expect real talk like she's advicing someone in that situation. It hasn't been as I had expected but there's been improvement.

2 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by perdollar(m): 7:45pm On Jun 07, 2020
there is sth u r not telling us
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by MrPaul2: 7:46pm On Jun 07, 2020
jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls
Are answering question or looking for girlfriend? You may end up creating a trend "Her body shape disgust me I don't know how to tell her". Or "she is slim but I like them fat" or "she is becoming fatter I want a break" grin grin
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Kokaine(m): 7:47pm On Jun 07, 2020
jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

Even me mehn... All the girls I have been meeting since I my first girl friend got married are fucken dumb.

I like a girl that can do programming, ride power bike, play chess, review books like discourses in the first decade of Livy, go out, talk businesses and make money. Sometimes I wonder if I marry a dumb woman because my mates are getting married, then I later find my soulmate in this life.

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Newboss(m): 7:47pm On Jun 07, 2020
Romangalactic:

This is the sensible way to go before entering a relationship. You should not have a phobia for maturity.

Only kids, teens, or shallow adults fall in love with an image of a person.

All everyone sees is images. The personality is just an image. That's why everything about a person is relative. It all depends on where you're looking at it from. It's all about your perspective. It's all an image. No matter how deep you go, all you will always have is an image of that person. That image is going to keep changing as you relate with that person.

Yes. That is why falling out of favor occurs. They simply can't deal with the current image of you. Even if you have known someone for a hundred years, that image is going to keep changing. The individual changes may not be noticeable at the moment but they will definitely add up to something noticeable.

"You've changed", she said

3 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by FutureFocus: 7:48pm On Jun 07, 2020
I'd suggest you get him to join the Nairaland community , certainly he will improve around here somewhat! may be to your disadvantage though.
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by apexx3678: 7:48pm On Jun 07, 2020
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by AfroKnight: 7:49pm On Jun 07, 2020
Ariza:
I remember you evaded the question when it was thrown at you the last time, so are you ready to answer it now?


grin grin

Isn’t it redundant? Why should I define what you already know? You have decided the meaning and it’s finer nuances, so why should I humour you? It’s not necessary.
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by humilitypays(m): 7:49pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think
Egungun be careful na express you de go oh......egungun be careful na express you de go shocked grin grin


Pls don't let me sing the chorus:

E don happen, I don tell am, e don happen, I don tell am cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by StankovicEgeni(m): 7:49pm On Jun 07, 2020
Please, how can I get a C of O for my house/land in Yenagoa??
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Ishilove: 7:50pm On Jun 07, 2020
Hathor5:


You seem to take it personally.
He might be the olodo boify, who knows

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Ishilove: 7:51pm On Jun 07, 2020
Kokaine:


Even me mehn... All the girls I have been meeting since I my first girl friend got married are fucken dumb.

I like a girl that can do programming, ride power bike, play chess, review books like discourses in the first decade of Livy, go out, talk businesses and make money. Sometimes I wonder if I marry a dumb woman because my mates are getting married, then I later find my soulmate in this life.
Buy mud and mould her.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Nobody: 7:52pm On Jun 07, 2020
IF BEEN SMART IS ALSO A CRITERIA FOR YOU WHICH IS A GOOD THING THEN QUIETLY QUIT THAT RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IN THE END YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY.
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by KekeNash(f): 7:52pm On Jun 07, 2020
So everyone is failing to understand that the lady does not say she want someone who talks quantum theories? You guys are also dealbreakers too.

3 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Nobody: 7:53pm On Jun 07, 2020
AfroKnight:


Isn’t it redundant? Why should I define what you already know? You have decided the meaning and it’s finer nuances, so why should I humour you? It’s not necessary.
Lol.. you shouldn't be so sure.


But really I want to know, with the way Nigerians are going about this intelligence stuff I really want to know to keep myself updated. grin is like I'm missing something o
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by MUYEEKFIRST(m): 7:54pm On Jun 07, 2020
SweetCunt97:
If u love him, simply let it go. Find another intelligent person to gist current affairs with.
Olosho group of Nigeria
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by StrikeBack(m): 7:55pm On Jun 07, 2020
Ishilove:

Buy mud and mould her.
What people write here and who they are in real life are like two parallel lines.

Nonsense Thread!
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Laidebrain(m): 7:55pm On Jun 07, 2020
Make up story, for you to be together for six month, if you guys meet in person and hang out for the six month, you would have develop a normal ground of discussion. Except you are not filling us in with the whole story or you need to hang out more with him to explore what is in his brain... Most first class students have hidden intellect.
And how did he toast you in the first place?


cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Drizzy5001(m): 7:55pm On Jun 07, 2020
Have u tried discussing football and wrestling with him ? grin
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Nobody: 7:55pm On Jun 07, 2020
You seem to be on the loquacious side while your guy is prolly a man of few words. It doesnt mean he can not hold a meaningful convo. It just simply means you guys are not compatible. So if because of that petty thing youre losing interest, please Let the gentle man go and then you look for your type. There are so many loquacious peeps out there that will suit your fancy.

**people getting more and more confused by the day. Finding fault where there is none and chasing shadows.**

Just let the guy man be.

2 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by phemmyfour: 7:55pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think
Why not show him the way. You are in that relationship to complement/improve him.

Try his area of interest, may be football etc

Come down to his level, let him be comfortable discussing with you

Read books together, encourage him to read wide and watch educative programmes.

This type of challenge can be work upon, not enough reason to leave him or quit

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Ishilove: 7:55pm On Jun 07, 2020
StrikeBack:
What people write here and who they are in real life are like two parallel lines.

Nonsense Thread!
Lol
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by AfroKnight: 7:56pm On Jun 07, 2020
Ybaby:


Why do you ask sir?

I’m just curious.

And no, there is no insult waiting for you just around the corner. Just curiosity. Your point of view is quite interesting. Unflattering for us men, though. I just wonder if your thoughts on the matter were influenced by marriage or not.

2 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Taiwojon(m): 7:58pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

tell him nah.

who even send you people to be doing girlfriend and boyfriend


LOST PARIORITY
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by ayamAgenius: 7:59pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think


You're undeserving of this guy. I'd direct him to this thread so that he knows what you think about him. angry
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Angelfrost(m): 7:59pm On Jun 07, 2020
SweetCunt97:
If u love him, simply let it go. Find another intelligent person to gist current affairs with.

That right there, is exactly how "Friends with Benefits" are born!!!... Matter of time before gist of current affairs turns to intimate affairs, until the rest becomes history. tongue
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Spiff20(m): 7:59pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think
You can continue dating him but do not even think of marriage else you'll have a very boring husband that you can't hold meaningful conversation with which is unhealthy for a relationship. You're not asking for too much. You know what you want and in the end it's long term relationship that matters. This is 2020, it's better for the woman to be dumb and the guy smart than the other way round. Counsel him to step up if he refuse, start looking else where

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