₦airaland Forum

Impostor:
Wrong, in Nigerian laws there is something called customary union/marriage. It is governed by customary law of marriage. Google it. Remember white wedding is English tradition. It is wrong to hold English tradition over your local custom. Don't speak from your head. Do your research NIGERIAN laws have what they call, customary law of marriage.

Okay before u start insulting, remember I said I have no answers to the questions I threw into the discourse. When a couple gets married in the traditional way and they later consult consulates for visa or something, what evidence do they present to the consulate as a proof of the union?

Skepticus:
The bolded is true.

The mystery and unpredictability that the single guy held to her is gone. Also, she may have probably married him for his ability to provide (as a beta-simp) while she has her eyes on the asshole alpha who wouldn't settle into marriage with her.

Now, she rations sex while also detesting him.

Marriage sucks for most men.

You're a Wise man.....

Impostor:
The problem is that women like vanity, hence, you must spend that money on white wedding in order to make them happy.


Another reason, colonialism and the love for white people makes us believe less in our tradition. This general belief that if it's not foreign, it's not good, is a major reason for white weddings.

Lol @ your refund comment. Return of bride price is a symbolic gesture.

Traditional weddings are usually more colorful.

My friend got married to a Nigerian immigrant. She is a member of the Church of Christ he was a Catholic and he converted to her faith. She had a 3 year old son whom he adopted, he didn't have any children. They have another son together now. He had no family members in the US so he sent for his mother and his aunt to attend the wedding.

He also bought traditional wedding attire for his bride and her bridesmaids. He and his best man were dressed in traditional attire as well. It was very colorful and beautiful. The color green was the theme. They met on a black people dating site. He drove from Wisconsin to California to meet her and go on their first date, 2,170 miles.

They have been married for at least 11 years now. When they first met they both were in school. He is a Nurse Practitioner and she is a Social Worker now.

khia:
My friend got married to a Nigerian immigrant. She is a member of the Church of Christ he was a Catholic and he converted to her faith. She had a 3 year old son whom he adopted, he didn't have any children. They have another son together now. He had no family members in the US so he sent for his mother and his aunt to attend the wedding.

He also bought traditional wedding attire for his bride and her bridesmaids. He and his best man were dressed in traditional attire as well. It was very colorful and beautiful. The color green was the theme. They met on a black people dating site. He drove from Wisconsin to California to meet her and go on their first date, 2,170 miles.

They have been married for at least 11 years now. When they first met they both were in school. He is a Nurse Practitioner and she is a Social Worker now.

Wow lovely, she will enjoy him cos Nigerians are generally family oriented. I once tried to marry a foreigner but she was too scared lol. She had heard so many things about Nigerians.

MedicH:
Okay before u start insulting, remember I said I have no answers to the questions I threw into the discourse. When a couple gets married in the traditional way and they later consult consulates for visa or something, what evidence do they present to the consulate as a proof of the union?

What is insulting about my message? Nothing. There's no physical paper evidence but these days people get papers from the court. But if u ask me, we should focus on our traditional values

Impostor:
Wow lovely, she will enjoy him cos Nigerians are generally family oriented. I once tried to marry a foreigner but she was too scared lol. She had heard so many things about Nigerians.




What is insulting about my message? Nothing. There's no physical paper evidence but these days people get papers from the court. But if u ask me, we should focus on our traditional values

I must admit that I chickened out as well.

Op I owe you an apology for derailing your topic.
Back to the topic.

Married men do you regret your nuptials?

paulolee:
yes simply because i dnt av easy access to my oda female friends and am tired of using emergency night shifts and private night vigil to lie whenever i want to go and tast another nunu..

And you honestly think she doesn't know? Madam sef go dey cut show too o!

Boredasf:
hmmm..so you regret it at times then.
Interesting

Ofcourse, even being single you also regret it sometimes too

Omoluabi16:
I know. but you know in our minds White wedding = church wedding. In fact, people will think the person don commit that's why he's refusing a church wedding.And it is usually done with the bible too, hymns, sermons, and what not.

I don't know if it is brainwash oh, but I can't imagine not doing a church wedding. It's that bad that people do their trado under 20mins..same Saturday, just for the 'big' WW.

It's brain wash dear. I don't understand the essence of white wedding. The customary marriage is recognised by both God and man, so WW is just a mere formality that I can do without.

Patiks:
I am still laughing...

Frankly speaking, I wonder the kind of homes some people come from. It is said that you can't give what you don't have.
If you don't have love, respect, happiness, etc., you can't give same to others.

I am actually referring to the guys who keep bashing women and marriage nonstop.

You should know that the more civilized the world is becoming, the more people will start challenging the Norm.
It is not only marriage that is been attacked daily, it goes to all the things we think are normal before.
Marriage
School/Education
Religion
Jobs/Work/Employment
And many more.
Marriage because people especially guys are now wondering while they should put so much energies to keep Slaving day in day out when there is less stressful alternatives. Life is all about alternatives.
Why should you keep paying for more and more on firewood or kerosine for cooking when there is cheaper gas?
Why slave away your life when there is cheaper FWB, bedmates, open relationship/marriage etc with more rest of mind and less drama.
School - people are now asking if going to school and having certificate is not a waste of time and when there are no jobs?
Religion - you know there is a rise on pastors attack lately likewise tithes
Jobs - people are now questioning while they should keep working their asses from 9-5 for a job that barely pays their bills when a musician, footballer, yahoo guys, runs girls are making far easier money and enjoying their lives.
All these have made the modern man lazier because no more moral to do the good things.
Welcome to the side effect and drawbacks of Capitalist System where the efforts most people will input will be inversely proportional to the output thereby making most to be depressed, unmotivated and lazy to do legal and moral things any more.
Once again, welcome to Globalisation, Capitalism and Civilization

ifytrik:
When ever i feel like regreting gating married at just 27, i also feel happy and proud because am already a father of a handsome boy and a beautifull damsel so no need to regret, and besides i still enjoy all the packages that singles guys enjoy, most ladies i bang dont even knw am married so need to regret. #ORINGO CONTINUES

mpa burst my head!! Oringo continues after all.alcohol alchohol

paulolee:
hellfire bcoz i lied abi?? wat abt abraham dt lied abt serah being his sister, wat abt peter dt denied Jesus thrice and david dt fornicated and still kill the woman husband and GO still calls him "the man after my heart".... na my lie worst pass dier own abi??....i kno u are a lawyer bt abeg allow GOD judge my case..

Night vigil as decoy.... you're a scumbag of a husband

byinks:
Night vigil as decoy.... you're a scumbag of a husband

chai...aunty take it easy on me naaaa...calling me scumbag wen u dnt really kno me?? u no holly pass naa

paulolee:
chai...aunty take it easy on me naaaa...calling me scumbag wen u dnt really kno me?? u no holly pass naa

True but I don't even need to judge you. Read your Bible and judge yourself by yourself

fyneboi79:
And you honestly think she doesn't know? Madam sef go dey cut show too o!

abi oo....its better lyk dt than to cut ma stick or stab me to death bt i dnt wish for so because i detest married women cheating

byinks:
True but I don't even need to judge you. Read your Bible and judge yourself by yourself

yeah av read it and learnt dt mortals shouldn't judge....GOD forgivs and jugde all...tanks

U nailed it. That sums it up. Thanks bro.

Boss13:
When you have no proper knowledge about marriage and women, you will definitely regret your marriage. What I have noticed in marriage, men do not live for themselves anymore, they live for their wives and kids. I am not saying this is bad, but I have come to realised that you can never please a woman 100% - NEVER. Men must understand women are manipulative and controlling. If you lose that control, you will regret your marriage. Also, once you wife knows you have no control over her, she will run wild, blame you for it, divorce, or leave you.

Women do not love unconditionally. They love for peculiar reasons or conditions. When those conditions are absent, she will become a throng on your flesh. A woman will fall in line when her husband is strong and masculine. Lastly, if your woman says she is a feminist - don't marry her. You do not want a woman struggling for control in your marriage. There can ONLY be one captain and that should be you.

Men must understand this. A woman is with you because of what you can offer/provide or the potential ability of what you can offer/provide. Don't get stupid with the "I love you" nonsense you hear.

Boss13:
When you have no proper knowledge about marriage and women, you will definitely regret your marriage. What I have noticed in marriage, men do not live for themselves anymore, they live for their wives and kids. I am not saying this is bad, but I have come to realised that you can never please a woman 100% - NEVER. Men must understand women are manipulative and controlling. If you lose that control, you will regret your marriage. Also, once you wife knows you have no control over her, she will run wild, blame you for it, divorce, or leave you.

Women do not love unconditionally. They love for peculiar reasons or conditions. When those conditions are absent, she will become a throng on your flesh. A woman will fall in line when her husband is strong and masculine. Lastly, if your woman says she is a feminist - don't marry her. You do not want a woman struggling for control in your marriage. There can ONLY be one captain and that should be you.

Men must understand this. A woman is with you because of what you can offer/provide or the potential ability of what you can offer/provide. Don't get stupid with the "I love you" nonsense you hear.

Pawafully said
Seriously kworrect.
That's my code,it has been helping since 1800BC

Nezzjnr:
Your parents have been married for more than 2 decades now

Yet you still feel Marriage is a scam

I think you guys are going over board on this

You need to take into cognizance the discrepancy between women of this era and our mother's. It's a disparate scenario diametric like chalk and cheese.
Women of this dispensation are nothing but impertinent,combative, confrontational, and everything for them is unhealthy competition that antagonize all party(the husband, his family and friends). And I begin to wonder; where's the love people so promiscuously herald as the bedrock of marriage.
I'm so disaffected by marriage that I'm in a dilemma if I should only sire a child or adopt, and I'm more predisposed to adopting, but I don't know how to go about it as a bachelor.

Most of the time these things happens becos the couple start taking each other for granted and no longer feel the need to impress his or her partner

MedicH:
What do you present to court or consulate as a proof of traditional marriage?

How is a traditional marriage dissolved?

What is legal about a traditional marriage?

Dissolution of traditional (customary) marriage differes from custom to cutom. Generally, such Such marriage can be dissolved at the customary court. Also, the return of bride price, the throwing of the woman's things outside and the oral pronunciation of divorce before family or witnesses could all qualify as divorce or dissolution of customary marriage, subject to the tradition in which they were married.

Talking about consulate, traditional or customary marriage is unrecognised in most countries outside Nigeria, since that is not a form of marriage known to their law. So if you have need to prove your marriage at the consulate, you will have to do statutory marriage and obtain a certificate.

Customary or traditional marriage is however very legal and recognised by our laws. The main differencces are
1. The husband can marry more than one wife if it is a customary marriage, whereas it is illegal for him to take a second wife in a statutory marriage.
2. If he dies without a will in a customary marriage, his property will be shared according to tradition. If it were statutory marriage, the law prescribes an order of entitlement to his estate; starting from the spouse to children and so on.
3. The high court is where you go to dissolve or seek divorce in a statutory marriage, whereas the customary court has jurisdiction on issues of customary marriage.

emmaodet:
You should know that the more civilized the world is becoming, the more people will start challenging the Norm.
It is not only marriage that is been attacked daily, it goes to all the things we think are normal before.
Marriage
School/Education
Religion
Jobs/Work/Employment
And many more.
Marriage because people especially guys are now wondering while they should put so much energies to keep Slaving day in day out when there is less stressful alternatives. Life is all about alternatives.
Why should you keep paying for more and more on firewood or kerosine for cooking when there is cheaper gas?
Why slave away your life when there is cheaper FWB, bedmates, open relationship/marriage etc with more rest of mind and less drama.
School - people are now asking if going to school and having certificate is not a waste of time and when there are no jobs?
Religion - you know there is a rise on pastors attack lately likewise tithes
Jobs - people are now questioning while they should keep working their asses from 9-5 for a job that barely pays their bills when a musician, footballer, yahoo guys, runs girls are making far easier money and enjoying their lives.
All these have made the modern man lazier because no more moral to do the good things.
Welcome to the side effect and drawbacks of Capitalist System where the efforts most people will input will be inversely proportional to the output thereby making most to be depressed, unmotivated and lazy to do legal and moral things any more.
Once again, welcome to Globalisation, Capitalism and Civilization

You are wise.

Boss13:
It sucks for men who cannot control their wives. If you maintain control, you will have the best marriage. How do you establish and maintain control? You must be a high-value man. A well-to-do man. You must be direct with a woman. You must let her know things you like and dislike and MUST never compromise.

A high-value man can have multiple women and all the women in his life will behave themselves.

High value indeed.....

We4all:
Women don't treat men well during courtship. They only pretend to be nice just to get the ring, and afterwards, they will reveal their true self.

I don't blame them though. With men always looking for 'wife material', while they're far from being 'husband material' proves that two can play the game.

U have brain

Impostor:
The problem is that women like vanity, hence, you must spend that money on white wedding in order to make them happy.


Another reason, colonialism and the love for white people makes us believe less in our tradition. This general belief that if it's not foreign, it's not good, is a major reason for white weddings.

Lol @ your refund comment. Return of bride price is a symbolic gesture.

Traditional weddings are usually more colorful.

In addition Christianity plays a role too.
If they don't have white wedding done in church by a priest. They believe that before God they are not married.

That's why churches like catholic encourage couples to come and do wedding even on ordinary Earling morning prayers day.
You don't need to spend a dime

But many women though won't agree. They must have an elaborate white wedding. Infact it's the average girls dream.

Nigerian women will form holier pass The Almighty God Himself, after the wedding, chai

Devil will come and kneel down beside them, he will be reading "A" , "B", " C" , "D".................

You don't fear Nigerian women. When you marry you will see for yaself!!!

killfear:
Dissolution of traditional (customary) marriage differes from custom to cutom. Generally, such Such marriage can be dissolved at the customary court. Also, the return of bride price, the throwing of the woman's things outside and the oral pronunciation of divorce before family or witnesses could all qualify as divorce or dissolution of customary marriage, subject to the tradition in which they were married.

Talking about consulate, traditional or customary marriage is unrecognised in most countries outside Nigeria, since that is not a form of marriage known to their law. So if you have need to prove your marriage at the consulate, you will have to do statutory marriage and obtain a certificate.

Customary or traditional marriage is however very legal and recognised by our laws. The main differencces are
1. The husband can marry more than one wife if it is a customary marriage, whereas it is illegal for him to take a second wife in a statutory marriage.
2. If he dies without a will in a customary marriage, his property will be shared according to tradition. If it were statutory marriage, the law prescribes an order of entitlement to his estate; starting from the spouse to children and so on.
3. The high court is where you go to dissolve or seek divorce in a statutory marriage, whereas the customary court has jurisdiction on issues of customary marriage.

Thank you. I don't think the customary court has jurisdiction over the igba nkwu they do in Igbo land. Do you think so?

Skepticus:
You are wise.

Thanks bro

Why do married men ask their ex for sex after getting married? I dont understand the logic, you choose to marry a lady out of all other ladies, you knew her sexgame is sh.it, yet you went ahead to marry her, now you go about disturbing your others ex girlfriends, why dont you stay with the woman you married? Confused beings.

ifytrik:
When ever i feel like regreting gating married at just 27, i also feel happy and proud because am already a father of a handsome boy and a beautifull damsel so no need to regret, and besides i still enjoy all the packages that singles guys enjoy, most ladies i bang dont even knw am married so need to regret. #ORINGO CONTINUES

4 ur mind u sharp abi

emmaodet:
You should know that the more civilized the world is becoming, the more people will start challenging the Norm.
It is not only marriage that is been attacked daily, it goes to all the things we think are normal before.
Marriage
School/Education
Religion
Jobs/Work/Employment
And many more.
Marriage because people especially guys are now wondering while they should put so much energies to keep Slaving day in day out when there is less stressful alternatives. Life is all about alternatives.
Why should you keep paying for more and more on firewood or kerosine for cooking when there is cheaper gas?
Why slave away your life when there is cheaper FWB, bedmates, open relationship/marriage etc with more rest of mind and less drama.
School - people are now asking if going to school and having certificate is not a waste of time and when there are no jobs?
Religion - you know there is a rise on pastors attack lately likewise tithes
Jobs - people are now questioning while they should keep working their asses from 9-5 for a job that barely pays their bills when a musician, footballer, yahoo guys, runs girls are making far easier money and enjoying their lives.
All these have made the modern man lazier because no more moral to do the good things.
Welcome to the side effect and drawbacks of Capitalist System where the efforts most people will input will be inversely proportional to the output thereby making most to be depressed, unmotivated and lazy to do legal and moral things any more.
Once again, welcome to Globalisation, Capitalism and Civilization

Thanks for taking the time to dissect this.

Joycekkh:
Why do married men ask their ex for sex after getting married? I dont understand the logic, you choose to marry a lady out of all other ladies, you knew her sexgame is sh.it, yet you went ahead to marry her, now you go about disturbing your others ex girlfriends, why dont you stay with the woman you married? Confused beings.

i think it goes both ways. A lot of married women didn't marry the man that they want who knows how to bang very well or swag or handsome and presentable but no money, so they marry a man that is stable yet secretly flirting with their ex. Confused beings