₦airaland Forum

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

my dear ,just do all u can do ,,,
my father always told me and my siblings ,when ever you visit anyone be it your blood be ready to help them maintain their home ,if you know you can't do anything for them when you visit them ,then better sit down in your house and only call them in phone,,that is why I and my siblings have refused to visit or spend More than 24hours in a relative house to avoid storyline that touch the heart.

What stops a 22year old graduate from renting a house? You better free yourself, otherwise, you will begin bondage for another 1 year

Create plan b and waka.
Most human beings nor dey remember good things.

Greatzeus:
I know how you feel Op,but that feeling is wrong as long as you live under her roof. You feel that you are not her maid so why should you be doing all her work,see girl, humble your self,try to do all she asked of you,you are a woman,you should even enjoy doing chores,if you want to enjoy your stay at her house, please just do as she says.
If you think you can't cope with the work or stress,go back home to your parents. That's the only choice you have if you want to enjoy your stay and want to avoid rancour.

All these because she's a girl, she should be happy to do house chores cause she's a girl . Nawa for Nigerians and sexism, it's good sha.

Story story thread.
Lemme gerra rahia

maiyee:
well said, you are living with your "heavily" pregnant sister and you cannot assist her with most of the house chores if not all.
Your conscience should tell you to relieve her of work as she is feeding, housing and taking care of you... What are you contributing?
How do you visit someone older than you and still be waiting to be told to getup early and clean, SMH

some people just need to stay on their own and see how life is or how life is so difficulty ,op will not know now untill ,she rents her apartment ,pay bills such as electricity,food ,water and some other bills and a cousin comes to visit her for 1month
am sure ,op will be the one asking"when are you going back "

The only problem I see here is you. Chores chores chores.... does ur sister operate restaurant? I think you're lazy. It is either you don't have enough time out with ur boyfriend or you have started eyeing her husband. Young girls like you are very dangerous

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

ur sister is lazy and she trying to tell u, u have over stayed ur welcome waka from there.

oluwaseyi0:
My story look a little bit like yours

Those days of my ND whenever I visit my aunt, I automatically assume the role of the one to do house chores her kids are lazy, as I continue to grow older it doesn't sit well with me, during my HND I learnt photography and start doing wait and get photos while staying with a friend, immediately I start earning small changes my dependency on her greatly reduced hence I don't visit often, before and during my service year I learnt programming and got a job immediately after service

I am grateful for all my aunt and her husband has done for me but the truth is I WON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IF I CONTINUE TO STAY WITH THEM MY MIND WILL BE MORE FIXATED ON COMPLETING A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF HOUSE CHORES RATHER THAN THINKING ABOUT MY CAREER


it's very unfortunate that that's a typical African family treatment

@adunni07 you are simply are adopted house girl and that is not going to change any time soon, no one is gonna let a passive slave free just like that, fighting her is a no no, it is a war you will never win but you will come out severely wounded, she will paint you as ingrate, your parents will rather support her, if you fight her her husband will rather support her and worse of all you will loose the gains and comfort her house bring

Your best bet is to find something doing asap, if it's to learn a vocational training, intensify your job hunting and act grown up, let her see you as busy, don't let her always see you as available, immediately you get a reasonable job your best bet is leaving her house

This is a very Quoran like answer, practical solution application to real life problems.
These are the kind of comments that ought to grace the front page.

Ariza:
Go back to your parents house. And there's nothing wrong in living alone at 22. But wait till you get a job before getting a place of yours.

They no wan pay rent nao. Even some married women always want to fail interviews so as not to be employed. So long a man is in the picture toiling away.

You are to be responsible by taking responsibility for your own life. Appreciate her and get out of her house and start out on your own. God has a way of making what we go through to show us the path we all need to take. Until ýou set out, you may never be able to explore your best self. Best wishes

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

When you're sick show in every way that you're sick. Act like it and make sure they see all the evidences that you're indeed very sick. Else they won't take you seriously. Pretend if you have to.

I'm speaking from experience from way back.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Op,
I don't have much to say but all i know is what she's doing won't kill you, it will only build you.
Keep enduring it and pls don't see it as nagging, she's only bulding you to be a strong woman.


Don't leave her house and try as much as possible to do all the chores before she even ask you to do it, that's another experience phase in your life, it will not forever be like that.

Some topic here are just funny

Chummynoni:
you have a lazy sister. she will definitely kill you with chores. i pray u get a job on tym and leave her lazy ass alone. goodluck

Stupid comment

Thank God you have parents. Go back to your parents house. You must not be in Abuja to be successful. It's not all the people living in Abuja that are employed and successful.

Pele o Adunni the Housegirl! You dunno that's what she'll expect from you for staying free of charge and chopping her food in her matrimonial home? I would advise you go back and stay with your parents for now and apply for jobs wherever you see fit so you can make some money and hopefully move to Abuja to rent a place if that's where you so desire to stay. You might even end up getting an interview in Abuja then you can just stay over with your sister while you attend the interview and after that you go back home. You're just diminishing the respect they have for you by staying too long with your sister and her husband, with all the massive chores you seem to be doing at her place when would you now have time to apply for jobs and when would you also have time to find and marry your own husband?

Run for your life.. The day of the interview will come and she will give you chores, you may get to the interview and start snoring.

Hmmm

As a corp member you can make some money using GTB *737# to make transactions.

I have one like that, move away and earn ur respect again. Very lazy people but they expect u to b machine.

You mentioned that you are sick. Have you checked urself if it is covid19

You have to accept until you move to your own house simple.

How the phuck do you even feel comfortable living in your brother or sister's house especially when they are married? It can never make sense.

If you didn't have a married sister, wouldn't you have found a place to stay? You cannot stay in her house and expect her to be doing house chores while you do what exactly? That's like the price you pay for free rent and food. If you are not okay with it, you go back to your parent's house.

How can people be so quick to throw their weight behind this op. You people have not even heard from the elder sister. U don't even know the elder sister yet. You people that are asking her to leave the house and telling her that her elder sister is lazy and that she has turned her to a slave are all dumb. Asin, dumb.

The op on the other hand is dumb and daft. This is purely a family issue. Someone who agreed to harbour you is the person you brought here to be mocked. God will judge you. If you are not dumb, you will find a way to beat around it. Everyone has one form of challenges or the other. This is purely family issue. This is your married blood sister we are talking about. If you think it is easy, go out the house and see for yourself. Nonsense

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

What’s wrong with a 22 years old lady been alone ?

The energy you used in tying all these should be enough for you to go back to your parents, appy for jobs from there and face your life.

Be independent, go and hustle for yourself ,you sound too dependent. Aiiint nothing wrong with a 22year old graduate living alone.

Since she knows you are not strong, she has to understand your condition, and tell her that you will continue the work when you are fully strong, but she didn't do well by leaving all her house chores to you, after all, when you are not around she does them, and if you feel the work load is much, you can excuse her and return to your parents house.

the truth of the whole matter is that your sister indirectly want you to leave the house because you're a threat to her marriage.

Her husband is siding you .... my sister go una papa house o if you want peace