Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? - Romance (5)

Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by bukatyne(f): 7:58am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Even when its obvious he is being in considerate. What happened today? He told me to go change my laptop battery today. He wanted me to leave my house by 4pm to Ikeja. My house to Ikeja is like 2hrs journey. I tried to pacify him that I will go first thing in the morning but he insisted and started bringing up other talks.

Nkan be

You don't want to tangle with a thoughtless man.

Thoughtfulness is one of the markers a woman should seek in her man.

If she so desires.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by martowskin1(m): 7:58am On Jun 27, 2020

AkuOlisa:
[color=#006600][/color]

Can't you see the person you're replying has the same egotistical behavior as your boyfriend ?

My Advice RUN because that guy is going to frustrate you and make you lose yourself esteem.

Why do people of this generation lack problem solving skill, all u guys know is run. This very reason divorce Is on the increase.

We just run away from everything. Do u know is other qualities, it might be things she can't do without.

No man is perfect, this might just be his only problem, all she need to do is strike a balance.

Give him the illusion of control why she is actually in control. It takes a real queen, an intelligent woman to do this.

People like this are very easy to control, na jut to find his button and boom he does all ur biding and thinking he is in charge .... This is what real women and queen do.

But is obvious real women are reducing by the day.

Imaging someone who married trump, melenia trump still married him as egocentric as he is....

All u need is strike a balance and give him illusion of being in control.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by boycasio(m): 8:02am On Jun 27, 2020*

litigator:
Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how you want to be loved and exactly how you want him to handle your feelings.

Most men make mistakes of having a mental picture of his perfect woman in his brain, and he spends his time modeling you into that picture.

If you don't know his kinda mental picture of you, and if he does not know your dream man, there will be conflict.

The disease of unmet expectation is stronger than one can imagine.

Just make sure you approach him in a subtle manner and pour out your heart. It will do you much good.

Remember, you guys are from different background and different social life. Beside, he might have grown up in an environment where men made all the decisions for their women and they loved their men for it.

So talk to him and iron out this issue. But don't forget, manner of approach and mode of communication matters alot.

Men read body language too and will resist at the first attempt to amend that mental picture that seems perfect.

Tbh this is the only person who understands the situation better.
An overbearing man always have a picture of a perfect gf/wife in his head and tend to make you what he pictures in his head.
But let me give you a simple secret to handle an overbearing man cos I’m one!
Whenever he tells you to do something, just reply with “ok baby I will do as you said” pls dont sound sarcastic (I hope it’s the right word) then you tell him “baby what if I try it this way what do you think? Now you are putting him in a position to see it from another point which is yours but unknown to him, and also you asking him to be the one to make that decision. Now is either he says “ok let’s try option 2 which was actually ur plan but unknown to him. But because u put him in a position to make decisions for u.

And pls don’t listen to people telling you to run, many are not even in a relationship. Overbearing man loves ladies who are soft, gentle and sweet! Don’t talk to him rudely wen stating ur point, u can call him by his pet name wen trying to pass a message and keep ur voice dwn, be gentle Nd sweet trust me his hrt will always melt for u.. But if u keep sounding rude or otherwise, trust me my dear Una go get issues tire.

4 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Nobody: 8:02am On Jun 27, 2020

apatheticme:
Y'all don't react

Y'all be screaming upandan nairaland; Nigerian girls, Nigerian girls!

Hypocrisy!

Y'all see that? She wanna swing at me 'coz I ain't a girl!! Lemme tell you somethin'; you hafta stop quotin' me if you ain't ready to blow up my phone with your clit pictures...

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Ohamzee: 8:03am On Jun 27, 2020

victorian:
Better free yourself. You guys are not married yet and you are getting all. Worked up over a bf who is overbearing.

Newsflash, there are good guys out there who are easygoing about life and their relationship.

Cut off from him and give yourself Correct breathing space.

He's not the end of the world.

Just free yourself jare.

na una type go grow bear bear. u better give ur life to Christ and ask him to lead u. Him alone knows the way.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by deavicky(m): 8:06am On Jun 27, 2020

If you don't like an overbearing man, let him go now.
But u won't, because most of u ladies always want to marry at all costs and will start pretend to manage what u don't like till things get out of hands.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by truthhurts2: 8:07am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

I don't even care if he's overbearing or you are overbearer or whatever. Don't interpret his attitude as love, it isn't, it's toxicity. PLEASE, anything that is tampering with your peace of mind and happiness is not worth doing. Your happiness should come first.

I just digged one out of my life recently.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Macon1212: 8:07am On Jun 27, 2020

As a mature man l will advise you to drop him, if not he will make your life miserable thank God you are not married, run for your life and look for another man please.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by dominique(mod): 8:07am On Jun 27, 2020

ethicallyright:
[s]kneel and beg him. Pacify his damn ego if you love him. Submit to him[/s].

Another load of horsepoo, she should kneel till her knees start to peel off abi?

You Nigerian men overrate yourselves sha grin

. Thank God our women's eyes are now opening and they're starting to see that most of you are not worth the stress, that's why we have "bitter feminists" growing in numbers. I'd rather remain single and roll in the floor in Shiloh till I turn 70 than spend the rest of my life with an egomaniac like you grin

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Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Xisnin(m): 8:09am On Jun 27, 2020

oshaosha2014:
So, I think we should find and kill them wherever they are because they are the worst.

That's a good one.
Being a control freak isn't a crime but
you can cahnge things by taking sniper or using the lagoon and
encouraging others like you to do same.

You will not only improve the gene pool but your sacrifice will
contribute to creating awareness about the issue.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by bukatyne(f): 8:09am On Jun 27, 2020

lomprico:
A clergy once told me if you have any form fears at all concerning the person you want to marry, that person is not for you.

Perfect love casted out fear.

Fear is a signal that something is wrong.

Whether founded or not.

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Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by bukatyne(f): 8:11am On Jun 27, 2020

JustCryptos:
@op. I don't know if anyone has told you this but please, there is nothing you can do to change him. I am married and one primary lesson that I have learned is that you can never change anybody. Marriage does not change the character of people, rather, it amplifies it. Once the love has cleared you will start to see things you never thought were there.

So, if you've weighed your boyfriend and seen that you won't be able to manage this in marriage, I beg you to leave now. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage or a broken head.

Finally, all men are possessive. I am too. But it takes understanding and logical reasoning to know when your partner won't be available. Good luck.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Xisnin(m): 8:12am On Jun 27, 2020*

Forgness:
All "overbearing" people (both males and females) are terrible.

You miss my point.
All overbearing people are "terrible" is patently false.
Some people want and prefer overbearing people.
This may be new to you but regardless of gender, not everyone is in the "normal" range.
There are those who prefer conditions that will make you sick to your stomach.
I guess the fact that many people pretend we are all the same is why some marriages don't last
while others live in misery.

The OP knows the man better than you and what was her reaction?
She wanted to "change" him rather

So, do not paint it that it is not bad as it looks.

I never said that it is not bad as it looks as I have no idea how it really looks.
My point is that he is not bad if he found a compatible person who likes to be dominated
and controlled.

Also, why must anyone "condition" (I guess the right word is tame) another like a dog? Check your utterance.

Why must anyone "compliment", "praise", "mock", "insult" another?
The question is pointless.
People will do whatever they like if they can.
The question is whether you want to be part of it or not.
That is how the world works not how you want it to be.
He is taming her because she is okay with it(so far).
There is no where in her story where she was forced with a gun pointed to her head.
Check the topic again: "How do you cope", not "Ho to escape" and not "is this right for me?"

So, what if the girl was the one taming you?

This is laughable.
Even a well-brought-up kid wouldn't fall for such cheap schemes unless
they are comfortable with it.

I don't ask for a second opinion if I find someone repugnant because I don't need any.
But the OP can't even decide if the relationship bad is greater than the good which says a lot.
That is why she needs advice.
I am sure she is not his first girlfriend and others might have run when they couldn't cope.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by DAVE5(m): 8:13am On Jun 27, 2020

Kingscee:
Please we have a lot of Issues to settle, this your matter can be discussed by the Elders, my Bible tells me that any 2 people that joined themselves together that I should not comment on their matters

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by bukatyne(f): 8:13am On Jun 27, 2020

Microwhy:
My wife is a very good lady.. She's respectful, caring, a tireless mother to her kids, and a person who can sacrifice her happiness for you, some would say i married her for her cool headedness but, she's not the type you can lay your hand unto even if you're mad and very angry.
I have never dare to beat my wife or ever intend to beat her but I just know that she cannot forgive/cope with a man that will lay his fingers on her.
Hence,
Please let him know what you can't really take (by action not by saying though) before the relationship get more serious. Be sincere with yourself and be truthful , some women prefer beating to silent treatment while some cannot let go of a man who act manly and always incharge. Forget about social media and its definition of a perfect man.
Just know what you want and act accordingly.

@bold

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by bukatyne(f): 8:17am On Jun 27, 2020

Xisnin:
You miss my point.
All overbearing people are not "terrible" is patently false.
Some people want and prefer overbearing people.
This may be new to you but regardless of gender, not everyone is in the "normal" range.
There are those who prefer conditions that will make you sick to your stomach.
I guess the fact that many people pretend we are all the same is why some marriages don't last
while others live in misery.

The OP knows the man better than you and what was her reaction?
She wanted to "change" him rather

I never said that it is not bad as it looks as I have no idea how it really looks.
My point is that he is not bad if he found a compatible person who likes to be dominated
and controlled.

Why must anyone "compliment", "praise", "mock", "insult" another?
The question is pointless.
People will do whatever they like if they can.
The question is whether you want to be part of it or not.
That is how the world works not how you want it to be.
He is taming her because she is okay with it(so far).
There is no where in her story where she was forced with a gun pointed to her head.

This is laughable.
Even a well-brought-up kid wouldn't fall for such cheap schemes unless
they are comfortable with it.

I don't ask for a second opinion if I find someone repugnant because I don't need any.
But the OP can't even decide if the relationship bad is greater than the good which says a lot.
That is why she needs advice.
I am sure she is not his first girlfriend and others might have run when they couldn't cope.

Hmmmmmmm

Very loaded post.

We teach people how we want them to continually treat us.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by RPG2020(m): 8:24am On Jun 27, 2020

Women are terrible �
You can't never please them

As a man live your life with baby Mama position them one side you dey one side

Respect go full everywhere

Jr daddy is coming is better than Jr daddy overbearing

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Funkyswagzz(m): 8:25am On Jun 27, 2020

dario078:
You must be really dumb then. What's so hard about this post that you can't understand?

U must be dickhead didn't u read the rest of my post. Well I guess u looking for who lay Ur frustration on.. go on slowworm

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by segun18(m): 8:27am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

Run girl run.Even if he is bathing you with money..Pls run o

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by annsrealms(f): 8:27am On Jun 27, 2020

ethicallyright:
kneel and beg him. Pacify his damn ego if you love him. Submit to him.

.

please don't listen to that guy.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by naturefellow(m): 8:33am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Even when its obvious he is being in considerate. What happened today? He told me to go change my laptop battery today. He wanted me to leave my house by 4pm to Ikeja. My house to Ikeja is like 2hrs journey. I tried to pacify him that I will go first thing in the morning but he insisted and started bringing up other talks.

you even have time to shalaye to this one. He's taken the ideals of a simp/man too far, that he doesn't realise how chauvinistic he's become!

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Slimmy0: 8:37am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

I can relate to what you re saying, @some point it seem as if you can't breath and your re tired and frustrated. Think pf the right word to say and the right facial expression not to annoy him. Its like walking on egg shell. You cant expeess yourself, you can only have a meaningful conversation when he is right all the time.

Babe kindly go to God in prayer and He will direct your path. But if na me i go run.

This has got nothing to do with being submissive or being a man, this is a personality issue and some girls like such people, i cant cope with such and i wont even try to.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Nobody: 8:39am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
He won't or will? Bleep the hell out ta?

He hasn't raised his hands though, and he apologized the first time he raised his voice. But I don't know how today's own will go because I sent him a chat and called him overbearing., no reply yet.

Wait... You mean you only recently let him know he is overbearing? No, you don't do that. Once you see a bad behavior you are not comfortable with, its either you call the person's attention to it (if you like them), or you cut them off (if you don't like them).

If you say his father is overbearing, then it's likely he picked up this trait unconsciously. You need to call his attention to it and see whether he responds positively by managing the trait or negatively by escalating it.

Now, seeing you're complaining about it, probably means you cannot handle his attitude. Some women can. So you need to be sincere to yourself, can you handle this attitude?

If you feel you can, you have to test him a bit to see whether domestic violence is inclusive of his overbearing attitude. Make him angry, just a bit, and see his reaction. Then you'll know the next step to take.

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by supereagle(m): 8:39am On Jun 27, 2020*

My wife remains the luckiest woman on earth. Her husband will enter the kitchen cook, she will eat and come back and tell him that you did not clean the cooker after cooking, see how you left the kitchen floor yamaya. She is the overbearing one at home. Some of you might want to say why must you enter the kitchen and cook? A gentleman or a Christain will not strife. Again, if you have a rebellious woman at home and you cannot change her, you learn to cope with her. I have started training my girl children how to handle domestic affairs when they grow up. Their mother cannot impart anything to them.

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by odaniel1(m): 8:45am On Jun 27, 2020

Draw Your Ears....
Beware of those asking you not to challenge the present situation because of the difficulty of finding another.
Those who ask you to 'change' or 'influence' his behaviour. He is already set dat way.
If you have fears now, that is your instinct foretelling danger. Dont let 'scarcity', behavioural differences or any other factor blind you from the truth that you cannot cope with those traits in him. It takes a bad 10 percent to spoil the remaining 90percent.
How m i sure you cannot cope? The restraint to call him overbearing did not start at this last squabble. It has grown in u overtime till it burst out.
Better to be a baby momma than a dead wife. Ask Sophia Momodu!

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by gbogboija: 8:48am On Jun 27, 2020

You better don't use your hands to throw away what is yours. Feminist will mislead you and continue their own life. Some men are like that, they are not overbearing or possessive. They are just the type who want things get done on time. They don't procrastinate, they are time conscious, and order their priorities right. I have walked with such person before, he was actually my boss. We all thought he was possessive and overbearing before we understand him. The wife is also the same, including their children. At some point, the wife was trying to fight back but later realized he always meant well.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by chib4true(m): 9:00am On Jun 27, 2020

ethicallyright:
He is not an "overbearing" male. He is a man.

Any creature who isn't female and can't dominate female folks is a simp.

One is either a man or a simp. Your man is the former.

On point

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Nobody: 9:05am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Not really, but he always wants me to do as he says. Even when he wants me to come over and I give a reason why I can't come, he gets pissed like I'm disobedient.

That’s a wrong attitude to have. It’s a mind set thing, probably subconscious insecurities. Hard to change. Just find a way to deal with it. There’s always a way for each particular person. No one method works for everyone.

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Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by frozen70(f): 9:12am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

Having some one who is over bearing is like accepting what doesn't work for you and still believes it will work out well

What you can't accept in friendship don't approve it for marriage

People like that have pride issue and they have low self esteem

You can keep the marriage on hold while you battle it with him at this preteething stage before it gets to the actual stage where it seems like a point of no return (marriage)

You must have your freedom and expression in any relationship you find yourself anything out of that is jail

People with such traits knows they have it but will pretend over it and cover it up until the ring is placed then they will unleash it

My advice is for the next 6 months to 1 year, if you know that you can't challenge his authority because you don't want him to dismiss the issue of marriage, be ready to bear it for life

Tackle it now and face it with all respect

If he can't cope, let the relationship fizzle out

It's either the relationship bend or it brakes but it must touch ground

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Chigold101(m): 9:13am On Jun 27, 2020

Alwaysachick:
Not really, but he always wants me to do as he says. Even when he wants me to come over and I give a reason why I can't come, he gets pissed like I'm disobedient.

Dearest me oh...
The handwriting is on the wall.

I will advise you to take a walk out that relationship before it's too late

1 Like