I don't usually do this but I'll be straight here. He won't change. An egomaniac like him would be resentful because the truth is that you won't meet up to his expectations ALWAYS. leave before he chokes you to madness or death.

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

coolakins:
This truth is that no single man or woman will be 100% desirous without any inadequacy. Just settle one you can cope with. I repeat "cope with" and live your family life to the best. I wish you luck...!

Weesdom will not kee u


Kudos

ethicallyright:

kneel and beg him. Pacify his damn ego if you love him. Submit to him.

Pls don't listen to this idiot reply.. he's the type you're talking about "overbearing man"

In a union everyone's opinion matter. If you don't have a say in ur relationship or can't do things your way that pleases you both then know you're in a wrong relationship.

Imagine him asking u to ikj late evening without even considering ur safety and insisting tells much abt him.

Be very careful. Not asking you to leave him o but be careful.

Spysees:
This world isn't designed for women... Y'all don't know! Always reactin', men this, men that...

Y'all don't react

Y'all be screaming upandan nairaland; Nigerian girls, Nigerian girls!

Hypocrisy!

Let me say again.Discussion does not solve a problem like this.

If you discuss it with him, expecting him to change, he may just start pretending in order to get you to marry him. Once you get married, the true character will surface again.

I remember how my father treated my mum.

If you can't cope with such behaviour, just quit now.

Alwaysachick:



Even when its obvious he is being in considerate. What happened today? He told me to go change my laptop battery today. He wanted me to leave my house by 4pm to Ikeja. My house to Ikeja is like 2hrs journey. I tried to pacify him that I will go first thing in the morning but he insisted and started bringing up other talks.

The way u are detailing the scenario of what happens he may end up giving u advice here

Take this advice at your own peril,all this online wsingle and bitter women only wants you to be like them

Heiterkeit:


What kind of nonsense is this? You are just all over the thread trying to sound strong and smart, even when it's apparent that you're neither of them.

Thread owner, leave that man, he's not good enough for you.

the moment he succumb to you, you will overstep your boundary, you are only been rebellious, an attempt to overthrow.

you are plotting a coup !

Alwaysachick:


If i keep pacifying him and he has no control again, won't it lead to physical or public abuse one day? What If he raises his voice at me in public one day?

Men like that are alway logical, which means for every disobedience to his order or command give him a logical reason why you won't do it his way,
about your concern on "domestic violence" these is more reason why you must stand ur ground now n see how he will take it, if your comment is anything worth going by i think he is not the violent type, just an egomaniac don't be surprise real men don't even want a push around wife because they love challenge .. not insult o. apply discretion tew

Xisnin:

You can't stop it.
That is who he is.
He is not necessarily bad as some women want his type.
It may be that he is conditioning you like Pavlov did his dogs.

But he is not a pretender as he has clearly shown you how he thinks.
But if you can't cope, run quickly.

Don't pretend you are okay with it.

If it gets too serious, getting out may be impossible as you may
may have lost yourself by then.

Had to 'like' when I read the pavlov and his dogs comment... Classic conditioning theory

Newsflash, there are good guys out there who are easygoing about life and their relationship.

Yes, easygoing guys, but not without their own side effects. Stop talking as if there are perfect people out there. Just choose your own demon.

victorian:
Better free yourself. You guys are not married yet and you are getting all. Worked up over a bf who is overbearing.

Newsflash, there are good guys out there who are easygoing about life and their relationship.

Cut off from him and give yourself Correct breathing space.

He's not the end of the world.

Just free yourself jare.

ethicallyright:


Has he raised his hands on you before?

If he hasn't , he won't. Bleep the hell outta that man.

Alwaysachick, don't listen to this guy please. If you can't cope at the long run please leave now.

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

A clergy once told me if you have any form fears at all concerning the person you want to marry, that person is not for you.

nomenclature:
Take this advice at your own peril,all this online wsingle and bitter women only wants you to be like them

Fake strong and smart man. Real strong and smart men are not overbearing, fake ones like you are. And real strong and smart women only submit to real strong and smart men.

Their ladies who would like a guy to always keep them in check like your bf is doing. If that side of him is not bearable for you it is better you leave him and look for the one that can allow you have your way as you please.

The thing is, you ladies think you don’t need a man that is “controlling” but without such a man in many of your lives, you’ll definitely self-destruct and destroy everything thing good around you.

Alwaysachick:


If i keep pacifying him and he has no control again, won't it lead to physical or public abuse one day? What If he raises his voice at me in public one day?

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

Walk away
..You have seen this side of him before marriage.

Let him go since you can't cope.

You ladies clearly see signs of toxicity in boyfriends but you try to overlook and manage just to get married..Then start suffering and complaining unnecessarily.

Alwaysachick:



Even when its obvious he is being in considerate. What happened today? He told me to go change my laptop battery today. He wanted me to leave my house by 4pm to Ikeja. My house to Ikeja is like 2hrs journey. I tried to pacify him that I will go first thing in the morning but he insisted and started bringing up other talks.

Wow, didn't get to this part. This is tricky. Again, having being married for years, I will tell you this. Trust your instincts and follow them. God has blessed us women with that singular gift. Whatever you decide, please go with it.

Juliusmomoh:

Run go where. . Relationship wey the man suffer toast am ? Or which one ? . They die there

No mind em...make em die dia joor...is it easy to syke a woman?

Listen to sound advice @poster. Talk to him about it, share your fears of the relationship with him.

Do not let your conversation be as if you're starting a fight with him oh! Get him to sit down and open up to him. Let him know how you feel and what you equally want from the relationship.

If he truly loves you and he has number six, he would adjust that overbearing side of his, just to make things work between you two.

That's why they say, it takes 2 to tango. Both of you must meet at a middle point.

If you do not let him know your deepest concerns for the relationship now, it might prove a bit difficult later.

Lastly, don't feed his ego all the time. I'm a Man, I know what I'm talking about. It's dangerous.

Put all in prayer and trust God to do the rest and perfect things and you'll be fine.

At least, when I was overbearing and all macho macho (insensitive) around my Wife. This was how she cured me, lol... It's well.

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

@op. I don't know if anyone has told you this but please, there is nothing you can do to change him. I am married and one primary lesson that I have learned is that you can never change anybody. Marriage does not change the character of people, rather, it amplifies it. Once the love has cleared you will start to see things you never thought were there.

So, if you've weighed your boyfriend and seen that you won't be able to manage this in marriage, I beg you to leave now. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage or a broken head.

Finally, all men are possessive. I am too. But it takes understanding and logical reasoning to know when your partner won't be available. Good luck.

Xisnin:

What is wrong?
Opposite of what?

Xisnin:

You can't stop it.
That is who he is.
He is not necessarily bad as some women want his type.
[s]It may be that he is conditioning you like Pavlov did his dogs [/s] or he wants
weed out, incompatible partners.

But he is not a pretender as he has clearly shown you how he thinks.
But if you can't cope, run quickly.

Don't pretend you are okay with it.

If it gets too serious, getting out may be impossible as you may
may have lost yourself by then.

All "overbearing" people (both males and females) are terrible. So, do not paint it that it is not bad as it looks. Also, why must anyone "condition" (I guess the right word is tame) another like a dog? Check your utterance. So, what if the girl was the one taming you?

MrD2:
My Dear, I will advise, you do not go further in this relationship.

It will most likely be worse when you get married, and you may look like a slave in your own home.

My 2 cents

Really it's only cowardice to run from your problems...no man can be 100%, frm her story it's sort of hereditary trait passed down to the menfolk, u are his joygiver.. then you can be his moulder...buy him beer.. talk to him gently...pls don't nag

This also I completely agree with.

peacettw:


Wow, didn't get to this part. This is tricky. Again, having being married for years, I will tell you this. Trust your instincts and follow them. God has blessed us women with that singular gift. Whatever you decide, please go with it.

You nailed it! nothing else to say about it

ethicallyright:
He is not an "overbearing" male. He is a man.

Any creature who isn't female and can't dominate female folks is a simp.

One is either a man or a simp. Your man is the former.

Heiterkeit:


Fake strong and smart man. Real strong and smart men are not overbearing, fake ones like you are. And real strong and smart women only submit to real strong and smart men.

Overbearing attitude doesn't make him fake... That's why there is red, maroon and orange, if you can't get the maroon you want...buy another color to mix it up to ur taste, talk to him about it...DONT NAG PLEASE...I recommend sweet talk not nagging

The only sensible reply to the OP here. Real talk.

peacettw:
Sweetie, most men if not all are overbearing and that is the honest truth. The trick is to find a balance, most do, others dont.
You sound smart, so believe me when I say that you will find a way, just like every other women have. As long as he isn't abusive, you will learn to work his buttons over time.
And remember, you have tons of other places to assert yourself like the work place, church, etc. So don't worry about losing your essence completely. Just be certain he respects you well enough and isn't abusive.

Alwaysachick:


He is good looking, quite ambitious. I have no issues with his capacities or attributes, its just this. Anytime it happens, it spoils my mood because we seem perfect.

It is better you move away if yiu know you cant bear him. But mind you, you cant get a perfect man (a man with a perfect personality), you are even lucky he isnt the pretending type he shows you who is he. and you said thats the only issue you have with him, if you dump him for another who isnt overbearibg but possesses much worse traits than him and to kill it, he pretends just to impress you till when you are fully married.
My advice is this, talk to him in a cool man but you made that mistake of texting him that he is overbearing, you could have just simply ask him why doesnt he want you to do it your own way. talk it out, and if that doesnt work , walk out.

Exactly so.

AfroKnight:
Looks like there are two captains on this ship.

For you to have come here to seek advice meaning you are not comfortable with his attitude. So I advice you quit ASAP. Don't think he l change wen you get married.

So, I think we should find and kill them wherever they are because they are the worst.

Xisnin:

There are o African man mentality at least not to this extreme.
Of course, there are men like him but they were never in the majority.

Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?
.

My wife is a very good lady.. She's respectful, caring, a tireless mother to her kids, and a person who can sacrifice her happiness for you, some would say i married her for her cool headedness but, she's not the type you can lay your hand unto even if you're mad and very angry.
I have never dare to beat my wife or ever intend to beat her but I just know that she cannot forgive/cope with a man that will lay his fingers on her.
Hence,
Please let him know what you can't really take (by action not by saying though) before the relationship get more serious. Be sincere with yourself and be truthful , some women prefer beating to silent treatment while some cannot let go of a man who act manly and always incharge. Forget about social media and its definition of a perfect man.
Just know what you want and act accordingly.

Etemma1:
Listen to sound advice @poster. Talk to him about it, share your fears of the relationship with him.

Do not let your conversation be as if you're starting a fight with him oh! Get him to sit down and open up to him. Let him know how you feel and what you equally want from the relationship.

If he truly loves you and he has number six, he would adjust that overbearing side of his, just to make things work between you two.

That's why they say, it takes 2 to tango. Both of you must meet at a middle point.

If you do not let him know your deepest concerns for the relationship now, it might prove a bit difficult later.

Lastly, don't feed his ego all the time. I'm a Man, I know what I'm talking about. It's dangerous.

Put all in prayer and trust God to do the rest and perfect things and you'll be fine.

At least, when I was overbearing and all macho macho (insensitive) around my Wife. This was how she cured me, lol... It's well.

One of the best advice so far. my own opinion as well. but she wenr ahead to text him as if they are fighting and that shows she bears bitterness against him already cos the guy would be shocked that he called him names, when he has no quarrel with her.
And again, no one is perfect including the op, the best is to talk it out amicably first and if that doesn work WALK OUT.