₦airaland Forum

@veave have said it all but I will like to add to what she said.
Make peace with the youngest sister, who ego help? Just swallow your pride, talk to her that you are sorry and take her like your younger sister and if you are a Christian remember Jesus Christ ask us to settle with anyone we have issues with before praying or offering. Matthew 5:24

Once that is done they would have told your brother's wife and things will return.

Let me be Frank with you living with women requires a lot of patience, tolerance and love. I will say living with 3 of them in the house can be a learning process for you.

Finally, be very careful with the attitude of hes my brother, that woman has more rights than you now, be wise, be patience, be humble until your brother has trained you, established you, financial independence and be prayerful.

DIVINEEVIDENCE:
If dem allow you you go Bleep your in-laws? Shame on you, inugo?.

Shut up and read correctly, you small boys and your wahala.

STAY AWAY

veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.

Rubis, if my wife try this with my sibling, the marriage is over.

I really don't like reading these type of stories.

You see the problem with Nigerian marriages. When you marry a woman she now brings her family members to live with you. I blame the brother that allowed it in the first place.

Some men are so lily livered. I will never allow such. Maybe because I have lived in the west and seen too much western marriages but I believe a marriage should be just you and your wife and your kids. Even the brother should not be living there. Anyway what do I know sef

chii8:
Don't let the devil push you out of your settlement stage(celebration), endure a little more, ignore your sisters in law and keep on greeting your brother's wife.Infact in some occasion, buy the ladies little gifts or snacks and patiently wait for your final settlement day.(the more gifts you get them, the more you win your brother's heart).

@Championxxx follow this advice oh

Don't allow the devil spoil all that you've toiled and labor hard for years oh

Seems like the older one is more reasonable,at least for her to still be serving you food sometimes shows that's she's still a bit sensible

Ignore the youngest, na childishness dey worry am
Try and be friends with the older one,at some time strike a conversation or discussion with her. Act like a perfect gentleman around her, if possible get her gifts occasionally

Just focus on starting a friendship with her,avoid scenarios that would lead to argument with her. Just try and correct any sort of wrong impression she has had about you.The nicer and friendlier you act towards her,the more you will win her over.

Once she has been won over,life would be a bit more bearable for you,and believe me she will be the one that will help pacify and soften the heart of her sisters towards you.
But oga take note,no go enter any sort of romantic relationship with her oh,just normal cool friendship oh,make your matter no go cast for house oh

You've gone too far to allow devil mess things up for you at this point in time

petitejolie:
he can't rent a House. He is not being paid. He said his brother just gives him 5k or 3k to hold body not like they pay him salary .

for how many years has he been serving him? even with some changes he will be seeing in the shop?


if a teacher that their payday is not upto 1k could rent a house then why can't someone that's getting 3k to 5k tips a day can't? perhaps he has a gf he's giving money


his psychological traits might be affected soon if he did not take a step

LadySarah:
Women!We come into a peaceful abode and create issues. What's in allowing a young man sleep peacefully before going out for his hustle. A woman so foolish as to take someone's mattress out in the rain to spite him.
Your brother should man up in his home. Such women maltreat househelps alot.

Why her 2 sisters are there is beyond me. Even the stupid 19 yr old doesn't know her mates are graduates and married too.

If you must remain to be settled, you have to overlook and avoid alot of things. Face what you came for, get it and move out.

I can count like 10 cases of this particular scenario of op I have seen with my 2 eyes. I am surprised @ op. It's very common. Women like to own their own space in their home and don't like anything competing for attention. They must look for a way for the man's people to leave while they bring their own people

Without even hearing the story of the wife I know you are innocent . I have experience this stupidity from my uncles wife when he was alive. The useless woman after noticing we are all grown up and doing well she sent me a friend request. I accepted the friend request and said hello and asked of my uncle children . She didn't respond , I immediately block her . No time for rubbish I'm a busy guy now .
Women are devil incarnate they can separate brothers.

veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.

maybe this is your brother

Your papa house done spoil?
8 years is a long time. In fact the moment your brother started giving hints about getting married that should have been your cue to look for accommodation for yourself.

You are the one doing yourself and your brother. why? Because if you hadn't been staying with your brother when he got married his wife won't have the excuse to go and bring her siblings to be living with them too.

Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.

Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me

My brother, it's so painful to have such experience . Now you have to stay in that house, just because of your brother. But you have to be very careful, don't eat anyhow in the house. Keep your belongings save, buy key and lock up your belongings. The reason is that the person that kept your mattress in the rain can do worst.I don't know if your parents are still alive. And how many are you. I suggest you report the matter to your parents or any of your relatives, who your brother and wife Respect.
This will help save you and your brother's life. Think about it.
Kindly stay safe �

Efewestern:
Not everyone can tolerate abuses, I myself won't take such from anyone. He should lower his expectations, like getting a self-contain, that will be a financial burden, he should get a single room apartment, he can save for that since he said his brother do give him some tips.

If he continues to stay in that house, these women might frame him for something he didn't do, and believe me, his brother won't do anything but to send him to the village.

didnt u read that his brother said if he leaves he will disown him. Hes not even responding to his greetings again. So u think that one will still b giving him tips knowing he wants to leave and please b realistic wat can 5k and 3k tips do for a man to stand alone. Haba haba

Championxxx:
I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.

Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me

You love your brother. Does your brother love you in return? Save some money and get your self an accommodation. Forget you woman rapper brother. If he loves and value you he won't allow has in-laws to disrespect you like this..Man up ..

veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.

I initially got angry with your advise. But on a second thought, you are very right.
@Op, your brother saw everything happening but he decided to ignore not because he does not love you, but he is torn between a wife that refused to accept her husband family as member of her own family. It is dicey for men, but knowing you are man, he knew things will sort itself out as time goes on.
As advised above, ignore all the tantrum. If need be develop an habit of being the last to enter into the house and the first to leave. Make peace with your brother. Beg him and tell him you never meant what you said.
As for the wife and her sisters, give them 3 years, maximum, especially when Children started coming, they will leave the house with quarel. The wife is building a terrible reputation for herself without knowing. Time reveals all things. Give them time.

veave:
[s]Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.[/s]

Spoken like a manipulative woman..

Men shouldn't beat women but women can beat women and babies.

Nonsense.

I had similar experience in the past,me and my younger sister.we had to move out though hunger is killing us.I believe all will be well.be a little bit patient.but hunger is bad oh.help oh ...0218 876562 gtb

Dangrace01:
I can count like 10 cases of this particular scenario of op I have seen with my 2 eyes. I am surprised @ op. It's very common. Women like to own their own space in their home and don't like anything competing for attention. They must look for a way for the man's people to leave while they bring their own people

Don't go too far I have experience it when I was in my teenage age .

Same thing I thought. Most apprenticeships last for 7 years. His brother is definitely using him. He ought to have been settled.

SweetCunt97:
8 years! Is it not time for him to settle you so you can be your own man?

As young as u are..u are very problematic and I thought we guys do adapt to any situation but yours is different..any way u will still learn more in life that patience and endurance is key wen u eventually get married..be wise boy

kastgeraldino:
Same thing I thought. Most apprenticeships last for 7 years. His brother is definitely using him. He ought to have been settled.

I was thinking same, seems the op's brother is wicked towards his sibling as well. What kind of a brother will not want to settle his own long after such a long time. That's wickedness.


If he doesn't want to settle the op yet why not atleast get him his own place for the sake of peace. The bulk of this problem rests on the table of the op's brother.

chii8:
Don't let the devil push you out of your settlement stage(celebration), endure a little more, ignore your sisters in law and keep on greeting your brother's wife.Infact in some occasion, buy the ladies little gifts or snacks and patiently wait for your final settlement day.(the more gifts you get them, the more you win your brother's heart).

That's how foolish some women can be . The day you take those girls especially the 19year old to eat pepper soup it is over. She will be kissing the ground you walk on. They will sing your praise to their sister.

Don't be stingy if you have, buy suya home once in a while since your bro gives you money, I promise you that girl will wash and iron your cloth.

During weekends help them with the manly chores. Respect yourself don't play with them, be nice but maintain your distance.

Try all these and come give us report.

Nawa o... No be small matter.
I will suggest u report the matter to ur father or uncle , so that they can settle the matter , secondly , ur broda's wife was wrong for bringing her 2 sisters to come and stay with her, when they are not orphans or homeless .

TheArchangel:
How old is your brother?
Oga, stand your ground in that house.
Force your brother to rent a house for you by raising serious hell and at the same time appearing meek. Sleep in that room when you come back and if the wife and her sisters talk trash, raise hell. Do not budge one beat. Keep your bags in the shop but sleep in that room to avoid them messing up your things. Take the food from that pot and raise hell while doing it. When your brother comes or is around, pretend like they are accusing you falsely.
Remember self defense, beat the sh!t out of any of the sisters that touch you first. You can plead self-defense later. Do not touch the wife but remember to use your mouth to finish her. .
Do not relent. If they can be there, you can be also. It's either your brother chase you all away or peace or resemblance of it will rain in that house.

you will like trouble in real life���

veave:
Errrrrr. You go need patience oooo.

One thing you should know is that your brother is now married and is firstly responsible to his wife and kids before any other person so him allowing three extended family to stay in this hard times is an act of kindness and bravery please don't add more stress to his life by bickering with your in-laws. We women are troublesome by nature then when we see someone who has our time we extend the trouble. The truth is
1. There is no way the room would have been left for you while there are women in the house (they need privacy).
2. Why will you say that you will go to the village? Don't you know you give your brother some kind of security in the midst of his wife and her obviously troublesome sisters by staying with him? Has he asked you to leave yet?
3. You where wrong to slap the young woman, no matter what the grieviance is you don't touch a woman.
4. They where wrong to throw your mattress out but please forgive them and move on. Thank God your brother made provisions for a replacement.
5. Take this place as a training ground for your future, if it's anything you should be bothered about now, is to be more determined about gaining independence and making it in life.
6. Leave rofo rofo fight for women, in fact ignore them totally for your national peace.
7. Hustle!!! Hustle!!! Hustle oooooo!!!!

Hugs.

To hell with the"never touch a woman no matter what" stuff,one moment you women will be shouting gender equality when it suits you but turns around to claim weaker vessel when it doesn't suits you,if you can't take blows you don't throw them,try that nonsense with me n see your Bleep treated squarely.

heendrix:
It's simple he should get off this servitude mentality. Even if ur broke, having peace within you would ease virtually most things

So if he has to leave for the village, have his personal peace and pick himself up then I think that would be the best thing to do rn

From what he shared I can categorically tell you that his brother loves him but he finds himself in a very unfortunate situation that marriage can cause. Marriage is so complicated most of the time n sometimes it takes the grace of God n luck not to experience this. His brother needs to use wisdom in resolving this issue surrounding his home. Women should learn to handle their Inlaws well to avoid calamity in the future, the same people you maltreat today will give you problem n not support u when your husband is no more. The problem is not with the sisters of the wife but the wife herself. Why will she allow her two grown-up sisters to come n stay with her? Moreover, if she talk to her sisters to respect the guy n stop causing wahala, they will obey her. She is not comfortable with the guy living with them n she wants him out.

Championxxx:
No he doesn’t pay me any salary but he provide for my needs he buys me clothes , foods , airtime sometimes he give me 5k ,3k but no more than that

go get a life bro, u deserve more than this

angelfallz:
Your papa house done spoil?
8 years is a long time. In fact the moment your brother started giving hints about getting married that should have been your cue to look for accommodation for yourself.

You are the one doing yourself and your brother. why? Because if you hadn't been staying with your brother when he got married his wife won't have the excuse to go and bring her siblings to be living with them too.

God bless you angelfallz, I'm glad a reasonable like you exist in this forum


we share similar view in this scenario. I've a brother who carry always carry gf for head, the day he started planning to wed, I package myself and exit his house. I refused to be caught in between the line when his wife will be acting naughty to me.


I wouldn't want a situation whereby one day na hospital him go meet his wife, I don't take rubbish from any ladies old or young

TheArchangel:
How old is your brother?
Oga, stand your ground in that house.
Force your brother to rent a house for you by raising serious hell and at the same time appearing meek. Sleep in that room when you come back and if the wife and her sisters talk trash, raise hell. Do not budge one beat. Keep your bags in the shop but sleep in that room to avoid them messing up your things. Take the food from that pot and raise hell while doing it. When your brother comes or is around, pretend like they are accusing you falsely.
Remember self defense, beat the sh!t out of any of the sisters that touch you first. You can plead self-defense later. Do not touch the wife but remember to use your mouth to finish her. .
Do not relent. If they can be there, you can be also. It's either your brother chase you all away or peace or resemblance of it will rain in that house.

If he so much love his brother as he claimed he won't even attempt of this cos he will endanger his brother's life.

allen113:
nawa o

Have you seen your life?

You rushed and got FTC and this is your only contribution?

Set a date with your brother to leave the house. Try to endure where you are for the main time. Play the pity game. Buy a gift for those girls, especially the younger one (be prepared, she may reject it.) Make friends with the ladies in that house by fire by force lol... Just use any OT you have... You be guy na

My advice is short and simple, don't move out on till you're ready. You're ready here means you got the means to sustain yourself. Pain is only temporal and winning stays long with us.

Its hard living in the same abode with someone who doesn't want you. Don't leave Op, if you want to, wait till your brother says so.
Begin saving something up today even if it little, just try save... this saving should be for hell times.
Call your brother, sit him down and try reason with him.
Ignore your sister in-laws, greet the wife and do your thing.
If they don't dish your food, go into the kitchen and serve yourself.
Thank God you have a work you wake up to everyday. You know one thing? When people hate you and don't want you, they give attitudes. When you answer them and fight with them, you're giving them the attention they want. Just ignore them totally.

Work, pray, be yourself... Don't let the hate they've got for you define you.