dalass:


Your parents are probably shielding you from a bigger horror... If your mum is truly different and alive, why did she not come back or even bothered to look for you?..

All you said your step mom did to you was training you to be the person you are today! did she beat or disfigure you in any way?.

You went to school and appear sound plus independent... Abeg thank God... Let that woman find you.... Treat your step mom as your real mom... She never called you bastard or reject you. She called you her daughter, take it like that since she even has her name and signature on your birth certificate!

Stop looking for trouble and let sleeping dogs lie... If she truly wants you, She'll find you. Simple!

So true, she is looking for Love where there might be more pain.

stanliwise:
You have to start being realistic with things. You are harming yourself more than you are helping issues. You need every bit of your health to find your mom. So please bring yourself to reality and live the reality.

Her mom isn't lost... Let her mom find her! A mom that left and never bothered to look out for me? His things were with me

O can never look for that person oh if true


Late!

stanliwise:
You have to start being realistic with things. You are harming yourself more than you are helping issues. You need every bit of your health to find your mom. So please bring yourself to reality and live the reality.

Her mom isn't lost... Let her mom find her! A mom that left and never bothered to look out for me? How things were with me

I can never look for that person oh if true


Layelaye

Godlovesyou28:


I don't know what the story is; and I clearly do not care how I came... Am here now, and need to know who my mother is.
But for the record, the relative told me that my father paid my real mother's dowry when he Briefly separated from my step mum but returned it afterward after sending her out to bring my step mum back. I do not care what the history is; I just want to know my real mum.

He returned your mum's bride price?
Where are you from?

[quote author=Godlovesyou28 post=89779166]

My grandparents are all late. My dads pastor sadly is not an option trust me.[/quot

Go on social media (preferably Facebook) and tell your story just the way you did here but with your personal details and you will find your real mom's or her relatives in less than 24 hours. She may not be alive though but you deserve to know who you are....your story. The world is just that small now, you will find out on social media and don't ashamed of your efforts in unmasking you. Put it up there. Blogs will carry it too with your Facebook name on it

Godlovesyou28:
I just told my dad I was going to kill myself if he fails to tell me who my mum is and he told me not to mention his name on my death note and Hung up

Report him to any human right organization, they will sue him for uu

anungangampu:


So true, she is looking for Love where there might be more pain.

I tell you...

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

If dis story is true
Go to your dads village find out the people who don't like him..

Go to his village financially induce people they will sonf

OP ..So sorry for you are going through at the moment, I really can't imagine your pain. I realized you are curious for a lot of answers and maybe vulnerable at moment. Please I beg you to be very careful especially people you may meet from here. Not all of them are really sincerely ready to find answer with you. Stay woke..

I pray God help me find a closure very soon.

Wizvicky:
hiding her biological mom from her from when she was born is illegal already. her mom is supposed to be a part of her life. Nigerian laws and interpretation don derail our brains we don't even know what is legal or illegal anymore

well the law cannot help here. It would have been a different scenario if there's another woman claiming to be her mother so they're trying to find the truth.
What if she sues him and he and he refuses to show up or she claims she was kidnapped as a child they run a DNA test and he is her father but he claims amnesia to who her mother is ?
Las las she will have to find the truth out through the back door

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

Please don't stop until you find her. She's probably trying to get in touch with you too judging by your father's reaction

Godlovesyou28:


I am not super rich but comfortable and can handle legal fees. Marriage is not an option for me because I made up my mind as a child that I will never marry. I don't want to digress from the point, I just want to say that I don't need any open arms except my real mothers own and can handle the financial burden. I am already an alien in my family so no sweat.

Talk to a lawyer for advice, rather.

I can help you.

Jullima:

Wow! Your birth certificate was forged (or that’s not your real birth certificate) so it means this is a more sinister scenario. Perhaps baby factory things?? Can you afford a private investigator? I see some ads here on NL for such services. Also, use social media as someone suggested, put up your pictures. Also, I think you should keep disturbing the family member that told you your step mum wasn’t your bio mum.

Contact me via DM for private investigation

some stones are better left unturned.
look too much and you may find an ugly truth that will hurt you more.

My dear I can feel the pain and confusion going through your mind and I pray that God will comfort you.
My advice is this...if you cannot change a situation(atleast at the moment) the only remedy is to change your reaction to the situation.
I understand that you need to know who your mother is...every child deserves to know their mother.

However your need or rather desperation to know your mother is interfering with your life.Your dreams, goals and personal aspirations have been negatively impacted by this need.Your mother would not like that

To put one's life in proper perspective all the time, one must place themselves in the shoes of those who one is more fortunate.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone who does not know their father or their mother ir an orphan who has lost both parents and is unloved by relatives.Most feel lost and unidentified.

You said you look like your Dad.So you have a heritage, a foundation and an Identitiy.Most dont.

You said you have a business and you employ people. Most dont.
You said your step mum did not maltreat you extremely, some orphans were maltreated so much they lost their lives.

You said you had a home and a roof over your head.Some are destitutes wandering aimlessly and begging for food and clothes

You wrote good English meaning you are educated.Some even with known parents are illiterate and would never have any form of formal education.

Summary...Be grateful to God for the life he has given you and find peace with the knowledge he has allowed you to gain.

All what you have are gifts that you don't deserve because you could have been born in circumstances that are far worse.

Be grateful.Thank and praise God.Ask him to forgive you for allowing the devil to take hold of your mind.

Take back your life and find contentment in the life that you have now.
After you have done that go spiritual...There is nothing God cannot do.The heart of kings are in the hands of God.
Fast and pray that God will not give your father rest until he reveals who your mother is.Watch God move.
My sister you don't nees to uproot your life.God's plan is to bless and prosper you and bring you to an expected end.It is well with you

dalass:


Her mom isn't lost... Let her mom find her! A mom that left and never bothered to look out for me? How things were with me

I can never look for that person oh if true


Layelaye

Don't talk what you don't know. Why was she being hiden from her? Why are the parents still refusing to tell her about the real mom even now that she has found out?
You don't buy a single story. She should find her mum and hear from her

dalass:


Her mom isn't lost... Let her mom find her! A mom that left and never bothered to look out for me? How things were with me

I can never look for that person oh if true


Layelaye

That's you
Everyone else ain't you

[quote author=Godlovesyou28 post=89778454]I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder;

Why not pay a visit to NAPTIP OFFICE and make a report. They could help you invite that your relation to ask some questions that will reveal everything. Note: your relation will not be arrested

anungangampu:


So true, she is looking for Love where there might be more pain.

material achievement is different from love. He needs someone that he can truly call his. If the rubbish step mother has truly shown motherly love to him. There won't be much pain looking for his mum

dalass:


Her mom isn't lost... Let her mom find her! A mom that left and never bothered to look out for me? How things were with me

I can never look for that person oh if true


Layelaye

Wrong mindset!
Op said no one is telling her anything, and they denied her the truth of her real mother till she became independent not even when she became an adult.

The water of this story is muddy and one has to swim down to know what happens. Father isn’t wanting to speak on it. I smell rat.

Don’t ever jump in conclusions till you understand just enough.

Godlovesyou28:



I hope to take care of something first; I guess, get stronger physically before going. Am so afraid (I really don't know why). Never been so scared and insecure all my life.

I am so hated in my family (I never thought it'll get to me this much).

I can't sleep anymore and sometimes I don't even remember to eat until after a day or two at times and don't feel notice until I feel too weak to get out of bed. I hate to go out too except its extremely important. I get very angry for no reason at my self and destroy or set my belongings ablaze. Am loosing touch of my business and my sales girls are looting me dry and I don't seem to care.

Why? Can't I fix anything anymore?

Just be strong, you will come out of this.

You have to use one-step-at-a-time method.
Your life is now haphazard due to desperation and frustration. Take a time out, you need to refresh, focus on taking good care of yourself(engage in your favorite outdoor sporting activities) and return to your business.
Most guys on nairaland are counting on you now.
#Bring back your quality life.

[/quote] Pls what's ur gender,ur real name, age,dad's 1st name, complexion, and city location? All those info u left out in ur story. They're are important as it may help narrow the search. Ur story sound like one I know of.

Godlovesyou28:


I can't even hold my tears back, my heart is bursting out. I don't even know why I feel this amount of pain. My birth certificate says I was born in a private hospital that don't exist(I have gone there and its an office complex) and mother's name, occupation and signature is that of my mum(now step mum).

So sorry dear, honestly if you were Igbo, then you must be a product of baby factory.
There are too many pple like you out there.
It's either you accept your fate, move away and stay afrrash or visit the nearest police station to arrest your motherphuking dad.

Godlovesyou28:
All my siblings have ganged up against me; they say am trying to break our family up . How is that even possible when I have never even existed.
I just need one person... My own mother
My own mother, if you know how this sounds in my heart.
I'll hug her when I want.
Buy her gifts that she would accept.
Show her off to my friends
Bring her to live with me if she
I don't care if she is blind, lame, deaf, dumb or even mad (no offence to people who are); I just want to love her.

....... Madam u are truly trying to break HP the family with hour senseless whining and crying.

If your Dad does not want to tell u.... it's fine..... stop crying and causing trouble Upandan.... Go and do your own investigation and stop disturbing the peace of the f amily.

That person that spilled the bean to you.... Have I sat down to ask yourself why did the person tell u this??.... why didn't the person wants to tell u more??.... I hate Gossips who can't give u complete news.

If I were you... I would keep calm and not disturb the Oldman again..... perhaps something hurtful happened that made him don't want to even remember or hear the name of your mother. Go and find out by yourself and stop crying like a little girl who lost her ice cream.

I think your mum might be your step mum sister, that your dad impregnate.

Ejanla07:

If dis story is true
Go to your dads village find out the people who don't like him..

Go to his village financially induce people they will sonf

Op please try this one and very carefully, dont rush. take it step by step.

KingRollins01:
Pls what's ur gender,ur real name, age,dad's 1st name, complexion, and city location? All those info u left out in ur story. They're are important as it may help narrow the search. Ur story sound like one I know of.

No search here.
The op is a product of baby factory.

Godlovesyou28:


Please how do I locate a private investigator. Am loosing my mind.

You are depressed....

Please calm down first. Take a deep breath...

You're old enough now... Your father and step mom are your parents...

You're grown up and don't need anyone to approve or disapprove your existence... Some are bastards, dumped in dumpsters etc but you still have parents and family yet you must look for that careless woman who left you?

Who do you did thing? Don't kill yourself cause many others are in worse conditions than you! Yes you!

Get out of this low point by leaving things as they are and I'd say if your birth mother wants you, let her seek for you or she not need your recognition disruption in her life right now... Just think if she is remarried and did not tell her husband or kids about you?.. Will she want to acknowledge you? Pls stop it and move on... You're here. Live your life to the fullest! Cheers!!!

If you’re in Abuja locate Federal Ministry of Women Affairs I think they can help you.
While you are at it go to Berekete Family radio the convener he his way with police high authorities so your matter is on air and they pick your father to tell them what happened to your mother and hope they didn’t harm her. How come you don’t have uncles and relatives something is wrong in this story. Truly hope she is safe for everyone to refuse talking about her and why will the person who told you not tell you who she is

Godlovesyou28:
All my siblings have ganged up against me; they say am trying to break our family up . How is that even possible when I have never even existed.
I just need one person... My own mother
My own mother, if you know how this sounds in my heart.
I'll hug her when I want.
Buy her gifts that she would accept.
Show her off to my friends
Bring her to live with me if she
I don't care if she is blind, lame, deaf, dumb or even mad (no offence to people who are); I just want to love her.

Your step mum used a strong spiritual force on your Dad so as to hate ur mum. Her leaving was not normal. Ignore them, promise to keep quiet and swear an oath to the woman that gave u the information abt ur mum...spend on her and she will tell you the whole truth. She didn't trust ur maturity yet. Don't bring it up to ur Dad or step mum again. But stay Abit far away for now and becareful. Thanks

So sorry dear, such is life..

Live it on making yourself a better person and leave the past behind...you just have to move on and live