₦airaland Forum

Sunrise258:
Thank you so much for your contribution/advice, I appreciate. To start with, I'm not even in the village. My family is a fam of 7 and right now as I speak, we remain just two. It is easy to advise someone in distress but I bet you can't survive just one of the numerous attacks I've overcame. And as for all you wrote I should do to better my life, I've done past that. And what you even responded to is just 20% of the hell I've seen in life. My paternal line are so wicked they could ruin Nigeria. My other cousins die like fowl there. I'm currently in fugitive for more than a decade.

My man.Trust me I can imagine the hell you have been through.However you can't let your past hold you down.
Everyday you wake up is a new day to start afresh and be the best you can be.
You can recount all that has happened to you and your family but it wont help your today.That is my point. OK your problem is spiritual. Go to the nearest mountain of fire Mimistry and do their deliverance.3 days and your life would change.
But you have to believe that you have a chance at changing your life's story.
We are having this discussion according to the will of God...time and chance...you and me at this moment. I don't know you,you don't know me.So take this as the voice of your creator...Rise and walk. Just stand up by faith and go!!!

Asuito7:
You are saying this probably or MAYBE that is the way you are treating someone else child. This is not a case of letting the sleeping dogs lie because the op is not a STRANGER in that household she was brought up. She is the daughter of the man who owns the house and as such she deserves to be treated right with love and fatherly care.

In fact even if she was a stranger, she doesn't deserve to be treated that way,because she is a human too. And you are saying she should treat her step mom as her real mom. Did the step mom treat her like a REAL daughter?

I will implore you to desist from discouraging her to discover who her biological mother is because it might be one of the ways or even the step-in stone that will heal the op of her emotional trauma and many other things she has passed through. Shalom

I am not discouraging anything. I just urge caution because she turned out well despite all. The step mom called her daughter. With other step mothers, they will readily have all and sundry know the girl wasn't hers. Her name on the birth certificate speaks a lot.

IMO, I just think she should thread with caution. Not kill herself over an unseen and maybe imaginary mom

Why she chose to believe an outsider over her legal parents is still baffling to me.. (Youths of these days are easily deceived)

There was a time my mom's tenant called me and said I was different from my siblings.. I was thinner than others, did more work cos I was the eldest female.. But I know who I am. I didn't resemble my popsie like my mom and her side.. ..

Go to a Bible believing prophet,the type that will tell you your past, ancestors and even your future.I hope they haven't killed your mum.To go to this extent to hide her from you,it tells a lot.Please thread carefully.

Godlovesyou28:
It would have been better if she told me; not telling me robbed me of all my rights... She talked me out of many open doors because I thought I was being given motherly advise; I can't fully explain the scope of how I had to start fending for myself early while my siblings where all sent to the US for studies. I started making progress when I stopped telling her my plans. I have nothing against her and am thankful to her for making me very resilient but finding my mum is important to me.

I just needed this information to know. Your father is rich, he paid your mother off, they had an agreement never to meet you or look for you, be very careful their contract might be a deadly one. Your real mother's life (if she is still alive is at stake) .

Godlovesyou28:
All my siblings have ganged up against me; they say am trying to break our family up . How is that even possible when I have never even existed.
I just need one person... My own mother
My own mother, if you know how this sounds in my heart.
I'll hug her when I want.
Buy her gifts that she would accept.
Show her off to my friends
Bring her to live with me if she
I don't care if she is blind, lame, deaf, dumb or even mad (no offence to people who are); I just want to love her.

This brought out tears in me.....my husband had similar case, he met/know his mum 2yrs ago, and she's so lovable and damn pretty, same issue with her husband, long story sha, we all cried the day she shared her story, just believe you will meet your mum.

Your case is different.
You designed yourself to be useless before you finally became useless.

You gave into the religious C&S scam and they used your five useful year's and when they are done they told you your destiny has been restored.

Now let me ask, when they restored your glory why are you still useless?
Instead to working and studying hard despite all the challenges you dropped out and now blamming a woman for your misfortune.

Your mumu never do....wanlahi you will soon clock 40 being useless, and you know a fool at forty??

Sunrise258:
You are very lucky. My case is a very pathetic one. I finished secondary school in 2002, gained admission in 2009 all to drop out at 400 level (final year). I figured everything was wrong with me but I was alone in the struggle cause by then, I've become an orphan. So I went to one C&S church and dumped myself there for 5 years. The entire church would pray for me and myself too would pray for myself althrough the 5 years until the unexpected was revealed. My uncle's wife, (my dad's immediate elder brother's wife) had collected my glory when I was a baby of 2 years!!! I got it back through the mercy of God a day to my 32nd birthday. Meaning she was with my glory for 30 good years! The 30 formative years of my life!! I've gotten it back now but no job, no degree, no money to do trade or go back to school. I am in my late 30s and useless.

Godlovesyou28:
I just told my dad I was going to kill myself if he fails to tell me who my mum is and he told me not to mention his name on my death note and Hung up

Dear indeed god_loves_you pls leave sucide outta this situation just focus your energy in your future ambition everything happens for a reason i have a believe that your real mom per say also have the kinda feeling you're having now, she 'll meet you when the right time comes. #be_strong!

Godlovesyou28:
I don't know what the story is; and I clearly do not care how I came... Am here now, and need to know who my mother is.
But for the record, the relative told me that my father paid my real mother's dowry when he Briefly separated from my step mum but returned it afterward after sending her out to bring my step mum back. I do not care what the history is; I just want to know my real mum.

This is an easy case. He didn't go there alone to pay dowry, he must have gone with family members and some umunna people so a lot of folks will know your real mum's family and that gives you wider options. Go back to your village and ask questions, there must be someone that doesn't fear your dad who can tell you all you need to know.

vikkimimi:
Suing him won't help you make things easy, instead they'll get so bad!
Why not try going through elders within your family, like your dad's parents or even a pastor he respects in his church.....it'll be better this way even though it might take longer time than necessary for the truth to come out.

Take things easy, it's best to

sue him fast you are entitled to know who your real mother is I beg who be this counsellor self dress I beg shift mcthew

Eze2000:
I know. It's her mother she is searching for.

The term you find offensive in my comment is Illegitmae child. Below is the meaning according to goggle.


An illegitimate child is born to parents who are not married to each other at the time of the child's birth.

You are after my head for no reason at all. Unless you attended the wedding of her dad and real mom before she was born

Laughing at the bolded. Sorry if it seems so.. Illegitimate is wrong because the relative told her that the father got dowry on her birth mom returned, when the first wife came back ( she left earlier and they reconciled later)

So she was conceived legally and birthed legally via customary laws. Such traditional marriage is recognized by our laws

adebayour26:
Jesus!!

I told you so.
Two things are involved: physical or spiritual (am sure of the latter)

Oga to slap you just the hungry me abeg kari this your yeye preaching gerrahia now or!

Please seek legal proceedings to force them into closure.

dalass:
Laughing at the bolded. Sorry if it seems so.. Illegitimate is wrong because the relative told her that the father got dowry on her birth mom returned, when the first wife came back ( she left earlier and they reconciled later)

So she was conceived legally and birthed legally via customary laws. Such traditional marriage is recognized by our laws

Didnt' read the part. Sorry. Post must have been modified. Lemme check again

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

From what you said about the times you visited your father's village, the solution to your problem is in that village. You have to get to your father's village. There you will easily get the solution to the problem. Don't waste your money on private investigator. When you get to your father's village, give little money to an ordinary person, who will get all the information that you need. If you are afraid of witchcraft in the village, as soon as you get there, find a living church there and tell the pastor your problem. Give the pastor small money and he will take over your problem.

Also, don't go to court. Your problem can be solved very easily. Locate your father's village.

[imaging this ftc guy get 90 like for spewing such rubbish fast fast sue all of them and get your mum. after 25 years of not living with or know his where about the year I got to know who my father was that same year he died I would have been most miserable if I never met him before he died. your mother will not die now in Jesus name

dalass:
Laughing at the bolded. Sorry if it seems so.. Illegitimate is wrong because the relative told her that the father got dowry on her birth mom returned, when the first wife came back ( she left earlier and they reconciled later)

So she was conceived legally and birthed legally via customary laws. Such traditional marriage is recognized by our laws

No sir, she didn't mention this part of the story in her post.

Here it is again.

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

vikkimimi:
Suing him won't help you make things easy, instead they'll get so bad!
Why not try going through elders within your family, like your dad's parents or even a pastor he respects in his church.....it'll be better this way even though it might take longer time than necessary for the truth to come out.

Take things easy, it's best to

Bros I beg no they advise people o because you go mislead people. and pls don't advice your children I beg you are dangerous

There is high possibility even the man u know as your father may not be your real father. He knows why he is keeping it secret from you probably alot may unfold that happened in time past.
Try to hold your grip it's a difficult situation you have but sure you will come through with patience.

Jullima:
Wow! Your birth certificate was forged (or that’s not your real birth certificate) so it means this is a more sinister scenario. Perhaps baby factory things?? Can you afford a private investigator? I see some ads here on NL for such services. Also, use social media as someone suggested, put up your pictures. Also, I think you should keep disturbing the family member that told you your step mum wasn’t your bio mum.

The person that informed you that your step mum is not your real mum is your best bet. She must know more. Perhaps you were illegally adopted or even stolen (sorry to say)

dalass:
I am not discouraging anything. I just urge caution because she turned out well despite all. The step mom called her daughter. With other step mothers, they will readily have all and sundry know the girl wasn't hers. Her name on the birth certificate speaks a lot.

IMO, I just think she should thread with caution. Not kill herself over an unseen and maybe imaginary mom

Why she chose to believe an outsider over her legal parents is still baffling to me.. (Youths of these days are easily deceived)

There was a time my mom's tenant called me and said I was different from my siblings.. I was thinner than others, did more work cos I was the eldest female.. But I know who I am. I didn't resemble my popsie like my mom and her side.. ..

Do you really think or believe that her step mom calling her daughter that she(the step mom) really MEAN IT to the TRUEST EXTENT? Don't forget the way she treats her as COMPARED to other siblings of hers.

Also do you really believe that what she is searching for(her biological mother) is imaginary even after you must have read through what she has been suffering from the hand of that woman and her family?

If yes how would you describe the situation whereby her other siblings were sent abroad for studies while she was to fend for herself at an early age?

Sorry to say this: Your reply or non-reply to these really tell who you are.

Eze2000:
Didnt' read the part. Sorry. Post must have been modified. Lemme check again

She mentioned it in a reply she gave someone else on the thread...

dalass:
I am not discouraging anything. I just urge caution because she turned out well despite all. The step mom called her daughter. With other step mothers, they will readily have all and sundry know the girl wasn't hers. Her name on the birth certificate speaks a lot.

IMO, I just think she should thread with caution. Not kill herself over an unseen and maybe imaginary mom

Why she chose to believe an outsider over her legal parents is still baffling to me.. (Youths of these days are easily deceived)

There was a time my mom's tenant called me and said I was different from my siblings.. I was thinner than others, did more work cos I was the eldest female.. But I know who I am. I didn't resemble my popsie like my mom and her side.. ..

why is her dad not debunking the story, why is her relatives referring her back to her dad? This is not the matter of been deceived by outsider here, did you read her story well?

Goalnaldo:
Honestly I don't think I would be desperate to look for a mother that abandoned me all my life. As far as your step mum never maltreated you as you claim, treat her like your mum. Leaving her to look for your imaginary mum is like robbing Peter to pay Paul. There's more to been a mother than birthing someone.

Don't say that.I know of a real life story where the dad went to every length to prevent the child from knowing the mum.He lied to the boy that his mum was late,prevented the mum from seeing and contacting the son.He went to the boy's school and gave an other that no one should see the boy.Not until recently,that a friend linked the boy to his mum after over 2 decades!

Jullima:
Don’t conclude that your mother dropped you off and never bothered about you. Some men take a child from the mother and cut all contacts, since your father is so feared even by your family members, that’s a possibility. Also, he doesn’t even want to tell you who your mother is.

Do you have access to your birth certificate? You can start from the hospital you were born, they might have a record of your birth.

And after going to the hospital, what next? What if she was born some 30years ago and the hospital has lost record of the nurses or doctors at the time she was birth. What then is her fate or the way forward?

Godlovesyou28:
All my siblings have ganged up against me; they say am trying to break our family up . How is that even possible when I have never even existed.
I just need one person... My own mother
My own mother, if you know how this sounds in my heart.
I'll hug her when I want.
Buy her gifts that she would accept.
Show her off to my friends
Bring her to live with me if she
I don't care if she is blind, lame, deaf, dumb or even mad (no offence to people who are); I just want to love her.

Take it easy oh....

You do exist.... Stop existing and start living... I know you are bitter and you have reasons to be..

Consciously release all that anger and resentment so you can truly live... Be free abeg... Your siblings definitely take you as one of them, don't feel otherwise and don't take actions that'll break your family apart.

I know a father who said one of his children must stay behind in Nigeria because 3 others are abroad... That whatever it takes, that one must stay here... She's their biological daughter like others but they wanted at least one to be here for them. So they won't be completely left empty here... Could this be your case?

If the person that told you about your mum is a man, buy him gifts over time then take him out one day and give him plenty drinks and then start the topic.

You should do as if you are drunk too.

Men reveals a lot when 'high'.

If the person is a woman , use the gifts line too but conclude it with emotional scene to make her reveal what went down to you.

Women are moved by what they hear.

This should work.

You may be a product of incest , that's the reason everyone find it difficult to say it with their mouth .

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

1. File a motion with the police concerning your dads act since you said he could kill if you go public

2. Upload your grown pics, your dad's pic, step mums pics, your birth pics and if available, your birth certificate to social media platforms together with how to get in touch with you.

It works, a lot of families have been reunited through social media.

Probably you were adopted. Please move on with your life and be happy with your life

Godlovesyou28:
I can't even hold my tears back, my heart is bursting out. I don't even know why I feel this amount of pain. My birth certificate says I was born in a private hospital that don't exist(I have gone there and its an office complex) and mother's name, occupation and signature is that of my mum(now step mum).

A woman cannot do this, this your advice may lead her to prostitution

manitoba:
If the person that told you about your mum is a man, buy him gifts over time then take him out one day and give him plenty drinks and then start the topic.

You should do as if you are drunk too.

Men reveals a lot when 'high'.

If the person is a woman , use the gifts line too but conclude it with emotional scene to make her reveal what went down to you.

Women are moved by what they hear.

This should work.

BigTableShaker:
Didn't you read her story?
Can't you comprehend it?!
No pictures of her mother, no records, no in-laws, forged certificates, no extended family, nothing..
All she has is a stupid father and a witchy stepmum.

Theyre plenty for Lagos here.
Just like Hausa have alimajiri, igbo have baby factories.
It's very easy to get an Igbo child to use as House help/slave also very easy to get an Hausa boy for gateman.
Some of them have spent more than 20 years in Lagos hustling, theve go no where else to go, no home town, no family, no parents, nothing.
They re all over Nigerian cities, olosho, gala sellers, truck pushers, Mai ruwa, mai-shara, Mai-nama eg mannabbq etc

They can live with you forever, even serve your children join.

That's why omoluabi are different, the don't sell children, no alimajiri, no baby factory, all have lineage.



Let the op prove me wrong if she ain't IGBO.

You're concluding on the wrong note.. Someone already told her the man was her father and the seminarian his brother,.. The argument isn't on who the father is because it is known, her mother is whom she's looking for.. Please apply intelligence and don't look stupid on a public forum line this, bc you're not working with the information given here, the gal even said she looks exactly like her father, so what's your issue... I understand you want to go tribalistic but sorry you're doing it in a way it makes u look unintelligent and dull.. Be a smart chap

murphyibiam15:
Send me a pm

Done. Good evening