Godlovesyou28:


Thanks for taking the time to read. It doesn't make any difference if am isolated or not by my family because I have thrived without them.
My decision to be single is personal; marriage is not for everyone.

. Hi, this is my second comment on this thread, I have followed the first and the second page carefully, by this grace of God, I stay in Abj, I'm a counselor by profession and there are somethings i'm not permitted to say here (Nairaland is a public forum) but would be more open to you if I talk to you one-on-one. It will be at your personal discretion. We may not meet physically, maybe call or chat ok. I have seen wonderful advise from ppl here but the first thing and most important is that you should calm down and do away with suicide thought, thank you.

Godlovesyou28:
All my siblings have ganged up against me; they say am trying to break our family up . How is that even possible when I have never even existed.
I just need one person... My own mother
My own mother, if you know how this sounds in my heart.
I'll hug her when I want.
Buy her gifts that she would accept.
Show her off to my friends
Bring her to live with me if she
I don't care if she is blind, lame, deaf, dumb or even mad (no offence to people who are); I just want to love her.

girl, you are making me cry here! I think the best person is the first person that told you the first truth. that's the person you need to plead to open up to you and it will be a secret between you two

What a touching story. A good way to solve this is finding your ancestry through your DNA. I don't know if it's in Africa yet but I did mine in the US for like $130 and found so many maternal cousins in the US and UK.
I can send you a kit for your sample even if you don't have the money. You'll definitely meet your 2nd, 3rd, 4th....cousins and then you can trace from there. DM me.

Stay strong.

Same here, my left me 30 years ago, I don't know her or relative. I was single handedly brought up by my father n with d help of my aunt,grandmother n step mum though wicked and heartless but I still made it to Master level academically n got married.

Here is what I have to tell you,
1. Calm down and give this thought a break.

2. Pray over this issue and step you re about to take now.

3. Use the Police force to detain the person that revealed this half secret to you, and make sure no bailing until she reveals the whole secret to you, she knows where your mother is.

Go for DNA test with the sample of your dad and the one you called mum (step mum) .

This will help you to confirm that your dad is your paternal dad. Looking alike is not a proof.

And it will also clear the doubts about your step mom. At least to confirm she is not your blood.
Hope there is no incest involved.

You will also need to do DNA even to confirm who ever you eventually is told to be your biological mother.

God will be with you.

Victornezzar:
Wow

OP just go back to the person who revealed this to you.... Tell her to trust you and do not leak the identity of the person to your Father

Exactly my take.
But don't go back to ask questions. Ignore this situation. Continue to do good to this person. They volunteered the information to you based on you being good to them
That is key. Keep on doing good to this person. Overwhelm them with good till their conscience can no longer take it that they have to divulge the whole story.

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Godlovesyou28:


I know my dads brothers and sisters (I have been calling them on phone)but they keep saying I should go back to my parents and get the answer from them... They also keep asking how I knew; and I tell them its just how am being treated to protect the identity of the person that told me.

Op go to the village meet your family elders ( umunna) or the council of chifes (igwe palace) and table this matter to them. Believe me you it will be resolve

Good luck.

Honestly, I must confess, you are strong. I feel your pains and trauma. I see too much emotional attachment than wisdom.

I think you should not use Court for now. It might be the way that seems right but not the best way. You might just fired a wrong shot. Can you just try this method.

Go back to that of your relatives who gave you this information. Please, while going to him or her, go with knive but conceal it. Get him or her gifts, ask him or her to tell you the truth. But if he or she insisted to refers you back to your Dad, then apply threat method. Remove the knive and tell him or her that if she refuse to tell you who your mom is, that both of you will share a double funeral. I think and believe this method will work like magic. One more thing, please make sure you do some rehearsal and try to master the art and your words very well before going. Remember I given you two methods, the gift and force (threat) methods.
The third is this, is blackmailing tactics. But this blackmailing method should come before threat method. God with phone that can record for long, engage him in conversation while your phone is on record then after he insisted not to assist you, tell him that your Dad must hear this and that you have his voice on record. I think he or she fears for your Dad trouble. Watch and observe his countenance. If he or she do not back down, then draw the knive now and let the drama begin.

I wish you good luck.

Godlovesyou28:
Please what drug can I take to help me sleep, I haven't been sleeping well; I also need something to relax my mind a bit.

Go to any pharmacy and ask for CENPAIN NIGHT. It has no side effects if you don't abuse it. Two caplets once a day before you sleep is okay. You will sleep like a baby.

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Godlovesyou28:


Non unfortunately, my dad's relatives where not allowed to visit(I have never met most of them and the ones I met on Facebook don't really care). but my mums relative Come around a lot to our house but all live off my mum; they don't never liked me.

Go to the village you will find your answer there. Trust me.

Meet either the family elders or the village elders ( The King and his Council of Chiefs )

Godfullsam:


It may not be a fake story..

Women are known to always contradict themselves. That is why it is often said that most women don't know what they want..

I concur with d bolded tho.

So I should comment on a post that is bigger than me when I can’t contribute ? Why are people lik this ?

osothermal:
stop being childish here, do you think the Op is playing here

You are weak,you shouldnt be begging your father you should demand it and if him no tell you carry knife put for him wife neck,you would see how quickly the name would come out,it is obverious your step mama dey use jazz for your papa


quote author=Godlovesyou28 post=89778454]I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!
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Ishilove:

It will fire you first before it gets to me.

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Godlovesyou28:


Thanks

The answer you seek in the village.
But have in in mind you may like or may not like what you will find out. But one thing I can guarantee you is that the answer concerning who is your mother or her where about is in the village.

Godlovesyou28:


I am am a replica of my dad even more than all my siblings. I don't think I was adopted since I have older siblings.

Surrogacy.

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Seadesh:
Same here, my left me 30 years ago, I don't know her or relative. I was single handedly brought up by my father n with d help of my aunt,grandmother n step mum though wicked and heartless but I still made it to Master level academically n got married.

May God bless your life with abundant Grace and testimonies. You Truely deserve it.

You might be a product of incest btw your dad and one of his sibling. Secrecy shrouded you mother's identity too much.

Honestly I don't think I would be desperate to look for a mother that abandoned me all my life. As far as your step mum never maltreated you as you claim, treat her like your mum. Leaving her to look for your imaginary mum is like robbing Peter to pay Paul. There's more to been a mother than birthing someone.

If your real mom is alive and wanted to see you, she would have kept a tab on you. She would have tracked you down and met with you somehow.

Suing your dad is not right. You might end up loosing mom and dad. No guarantee he’s going to tell you the truth.

You dad did not pay your mom’s dowry alone. Connect with your village people and find out people who went with your dad.

Search your dads room when he travels, you’ll find a clue.

Don’t let this thing bother you so much. You’ll get all the info you need. Be patient.

Godlovesyou28:
I just told my dad I was going to kill myself if he fails to tell me who my mum is and he told me not to mention his name on my death note and Hung up

I’m not you but I’ll tell you what I would do. As it stands, he is impervious to reason/dialogue. He doesn’t even give a damn as your threat won’t harm him physically.

Me, I will sue him and publicise the case. That way, he will decide if his silence is worth his reputation or not.

It is wicked to keep such information away from your adult child. You deserve the truth. Talk to a lawyer about your options. Choose a bold lawyer who won’t bow to intimidation.

SexytorresE:
So I should comment on a post that is bigger than me when I can’t contribute ? Why are people lik this ?

Then you would have atleast show some empathy instead of asking people to press likes and shares, thanks

Godlovesyou28:
I just told my dad I was going to kill myself if he fails to tell me who my mum is and he told me not to mention his name on my death note and Hung up

this your Dad na hard man oo..

Godlovesyou28:


I am not super rich but comfortable and can handle legal fees. Marriage is not an option for me because I made up my mind as a child that I will never marry. I don't want to digress from the point, I just want to say that I don't need any open arms except my real mothers own and can handle the financial burden. I am already an alien in my family so no sweat.

Listen to me and listen good!first of all sorry, but the sorries won't change anything in the slightest degree that what would be,is gone be.knowing who u're is half of were ur from,is more than what some will never know.u've a father da gave u identity,schooled u,now ur good on ur own.there is nothing that ur dad cannot stand in for u.it may make no difference after all this years of laborious search,in the event u find ur mum.

For Christ sakes there are children, i mean orphans with no identity,happily they're living their lives. hoping they had just one parent.

Secondly,the careless statement u made,about not wanting to get married. i want u to change that narrative immeduately.stope been hard on urself and be open to the possibilities this life can offer you.

God doesn't give us love,kindness,patience, unity, etc. God simply provide opportunities for these virtues to grow and come out alive inside of us. ur mother was never around to give u the love u so desire. it's an opportunity for u to marry and give ur children what which u never had or experienced,because it's inside of you.how else did u know that u needed so much love. U need to grow strong&courageous..
Ur happiness in these world is imprinting in the lives of ur children that which u were denied and then, ur LEGACIES WILL BECOME THEIRS..

One last thing health d differences between ur step mum. they say,something must kill a man and somethings are worth dying for, i don't think this is one of them..

Godlovesyou28:


I can't even hold my tears back, my heart is bursting out. I don't even know why I feel this amount of pain. My birth certificate says I was born in a private hospital that don't exist(I have gone there and its an office complex) and mother's name, occupation and signature is that of my mum(now step mum).

Maybe you were bought or stolen at birth. Theres more to your story if no one wants to tell you the truth now that u are all grown up and mature.

Ishilove:

Then you are likely a product of away match.

This is harsh.. To be honest.. A little kindness makes the world heal.

Seadesh:
Same here, my left me 30 years ago, I don't know her or relative. I was single handedly brought up by my father n with d help of my aunt,grandmother n step mum though wicked and heartless but I still made it to Master level academically n got married.

You are very lucky. My case is a very pathetic one. I finished secondary school in 2002, gained admission in 2009 all to drop out at 400 level (final year). I figured everything was wrong with me but I was alone in the struggle cause by then, I've become an orphan. So I went to one C&S church and dumped myself there for 5 years. The entire church would pray for me and myself too would pray for myself althrough the 5 years until the unexpected was revealed. My uncle's wife, (my dad's immediate elder brother's wife) had collected my glory when I was a baby of 2 years!!! I got it back through the mercy of God a day to my 32nd birthday. Meaning she was with my glory for 30 good years! The 30 formative years of my life!! I've gotten it back now but no job, no degree, no money to do trade or go back to school. I am in my late 30s and useless.

From the little I read... It means you were born by somebody whose identity will bring your father reputation down... Maybe your father impregnated a close relative.
I feel it's a scandal waiting to happen. Monitor your father's relative, your mother is among them.

Godlovesyou28:


I have been to my village twice (my grandpa's burial and sisters traditional wedding)since I was born and we never spent up to 48hours on both visit. We were also lucked up in my dads house (especially me), we only come out supervised and closely watched since my dad say everyone there is a witch or wizard. Come to think about it; I should trace that village. Please are you private investigator? If yes please may I know how you can assist and the financial implications.

I just hope they don't scam u dear.. Cause you're really a good prey for scammers right now

vikkimimi:
Suing him won't help you make things easy, instead they'll get so bad!
Why not try going through elders within your family, like your dad's parents or even a pastor he respects in his church.....it'll be better this way even though it might take longer time than necessary for the truth to come out.

Take things easy, it's best to

stop that crap!!! and allow the girl Sue her old man,he deprived her the right to freedom...A child have a right to live, right to chose,right to everything..

Ishilove:

Then you are likely a product of away match.

GBAM you just hit my mind.