uruba23:

Well first you need to be super sure you have no feelings for him,because his pitch to you that make you think he is not blaming his former girlfriend is a usual sales pitch, you won't put your former boss in bad light if you are looking for a new job..I would advice you use reverse psychology this means you have to be deliberate with your conversation with him by dropping words so he knows you're not into him, but your body language is definitely drawning him to you ,meanwhile you are just doing your job. .I would advice you continue doing a good job and not withdraw.

Thanks dear

Does he fit into the dream of a husband? Feelings will come, it's a matter of time. If he is a picture of your dream man, accept to date him and watch things unfold.

Don't accept any proposal till after about 6 months when you would have had an idea of the kind of person he is. The way people act in relationship is different from friendship. Some are wonderful friends and horrible partners.

Ps:
Calling people boyfriend jokingly is a dangerous thing. You lead people on when you don't mean it. Some rapists have used it as an excuse. Avoid such acts in future.

bigpicture001:
Y is the OP lying, you worked on his emotions until he fell for it, yet saying "it's jokingly"...

Who are you deceiving.? Now u got him where you want him. And your forming I don't want..........

U don't want but ur scared he is a playboi....

Abeg Park, seun put on tales by moonlight joor

I was playing with him, like a sister
Never mentioned I love him

Wolgrace:
Hahahaha. Ladies' mastery of cunningness and deception is highly charmful & intoxicating..!

Madam, your first platonic move was a shot and huge rope you tied around his neck, and your aromatic charm is now leading him astray while making us to view you as innocent. You're playing a smart game on him, its quite impressive, but deceptive!!

Analysing your story, you've the mastered the art of deception. Jokes apart, right from genesis, you know this friendship would exceed this level with your permissive love chants, as our society demands a man to ask a lady out.

He finally did after making him drunk by your deceptive intoxication, & you have no feelings for him in other to opt out? Or trapped him as a means to sniff his pocket despite working in same company? Or are you trying to make us think you deserve him? Or waiting for us to give you a go ahead?

Another angle is that you guys might be destined together despite fate allowed to meet the second time, but EVE SYNDROME in you might blind and destroy you.

Thanks
Maybe destined, but my parents won't accept his background ,
I know that for sure

Amb1045:
introduce him to nairaland let's give him redpill. you opened up a young man emotions now u want to back out. very stupid act from you. dude might be a simp to fall in love. I wish I was the guy make I break your heart and with your emotions

Why is everyone attacking me instead of advice

Biitch Azzz Nigga, real men never get toyed by a girl no matter how pretty she is...

Karleb:


Please read your first paragraph again.
Now read the OP again.

As for the original poster, I just was to ask her a question.

Op! Are you mad!!!

Am not mad
I can't/don't want to marry him
But I just like him being around me till he gets married to another girl, not that he pays my bills, but because I feel safe and secure around his arms

Chinkos99:

Why is everyone attacking me instead of advice

we know how it feels to be turned down when you make the first move especially when the lady wants you to be just friend. I have been there before. I remembered the last lady that did that to me, she later came back to accept the proposal. I told her it's late I have moved on till date we still talk as friends. but she want more which I can't give

Chinkos99:


Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

bestie kill you there!

Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

I blamed the guys approach, we will be reading different story here if he had not been nice.

Chinkos99:

Hey I didn't set him up Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

bestie kee u Der

That's how God will give u better guy but the Dora in you still want to explore

Chinkos99:

How can I set boundaries without hurting him

You are both single ryt? I see nothing stopping you from accepting his proposal. Don't let lack of butterfly feeling make you lose a good man.

youl l get what you dish out, then you'll understand what your doing better.
Na you dey call am husband, dey give am green light now d Nigga don propose you dey form VIP.
I just hope say the guy would be a reaaalll Nigga and bounce out.

Chinkos99:


Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

nothing vex me pass this rubbish "bestie" for watin

a full grown man with balls and sperm now bestie??
lady keep your distance from a man you never have love intent for.
if he loved you from the initial, he would have made the his move long ago. but you made him fall for you. it's as though you don't even understand what you did to him.
clearly you made him fall for you cunning nature and now want to back out.
I pray the guy bounces away from the growing love he has for you.
your not worth it.

When he inserts his pencil into your sharpener....it is then you will know you feel something for him

all these girls Sef..is he an inanimate object? even a dog or goat will catch feelings when being led on..you led a man of over 40years old on..you're saying bestie.. na wa for una naija girls









well, let's build website for you for less than 10k

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.

Your friendzoning level has just been upgraded to Master, you are 2 steps away from Legend

How do you girls even think?
A full grown responsible man, not in any way related to you, with blood flowing and Sperm pleading to be released is taking you out time and again, and you think that's a BESTIE?

Chinkos99:

I was playing with him, like a sister
Never mentioned I love him

But you called him "my love"

lograr:

But you called him "my love"

Just for fun

Amb1045:
introduce him to nairaland let's give him redpill. you opened up a young man emotions now u want to back out. very stupid act from you. dude might be a simp to fall in love. I wish I was the guy make I break your heart and with your emotions

So he will see this right?

Chinkos99:

So he will see this right?

Not really. so he can becomes better in relationship aspect. not to continuing been a simp.lol

Chinkos99:


Just for fun

Nne eh i have been reading your replys and i must admit that "the shame wey you supose shame na im i come dey shame for you"

A grown ass man upto 40 ua doing "just for fun" chai. "you feel secured in his arm "nne ua michealangelo with bonny and clyde spirit". i know ur type that will lure a man into a closed room nacked and start shouting "why did you touch me"

just tell him the type of relationship you want (must be fling i presume) if he cant do it so he can find his way ontime . you should stop killing what you wont eat cos if e turn zombies kill you who go tell the story

I will say you have given him reason to love you, and I think he is ready to show you that love. Don't hurt him, for the fact that he blamed himself for the previous failled relationship. You can just take more time to observe and get to know more about him. I think he is serious about it.

Chinkos99:

Thanks
Maybe destined, but my parents won't accept his background ,
I know that for sure

"My parents" in this age.? Is this not a sign of primitive and bad background too?

However, despite knowing the background differences right from onset, you've blocked his chance of seeking a suitor elsewhere with your charmful moves. It's a distraction.

Men are sensitive to ladies' move but not the motives behind it. THEN, WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVE BEHIND YOUR MOVE? Only you know that.

What to do?

1. Tell him that you're not interested.
2. Cease to go out with him.
3. Cease to eat out with him.
4. Cease to collect gifts from him.
5. Don't collect monetary gifts from him, even thoug he insist.
6. Tell him to seek out for a girl.
7. Do not manipulate work with emotion.
8. Limit your personal discussions with him.
9. You are not entitled to his money and gift.
10. Stay your lane and create a chance for him to search out.
11. Your NO is NO, cut the charmful rope off his neck.

Release him. Since you are not connected. stop toying with a grown man's emotions

If only I could get an opportunity to physically appreciate your wisdom.

Until then, keep being wisdom

ethicallyright:
"A strong man doesn't have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn't match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world." - Marilyn Monroe.





Norma Jean, also Marilyn Monroe , was the Kardashian of the 60s. A sex figure she was - an innocent fine face, endowed with curly blonde hair and the slim figure 8 which were in Vogue few decades past. Many men who we would later define as simps ,fell at her feet and wished they could have just a night with the late thespian.

The quote above suggests that women do not love men who beg them for love. If he walked your flat ass out of his office and saw you as the flirt you are, you'd fall for him. If he didn't convert his job hours at the mall to a honey moon, the title of this thread could have been :

"I love my boss but he doesn't care"

or
" My boss is rich but doesn't love women. How do I make him notice and fall in love with me?"

We've warned these weak men consistently but they care little. Tell him to give you 5 million naira and thereafter tell him that he is " emotionally assaulting" you. Maybe he will learn this precious lesson the hard way.

Lucky lady, I give you my blessings!

Chinkos99:

I was playing with him, like a sister
Never mentioned I love him

like a sister kee you there.Can you imagine wetin this lady dey typed

Amb1045:
we know how it feels to be turned down when you make the first move especially when the lady wants you to be just friend. I have been there before. I remembered the last lady that did that to me, she later came back to accept the proposal. I told her it's late I have moved on till date we still talk as friends. but she want more which I can't give

Honestly, this will be the op's fate

You never know what you have got until you loose it. Dont worry you will feel the love when he is gone.