Sixfeetbelle:


Thats because they were not breadwinners and the country's economy is not as easy as it used to be. A man handling all the financial aspects of the home by himself will die before his time, unless he's in the top 50 highest earners.

Just like buhari died at 50 but is still Nigeria's president. Right?

I know men who personally ask their wives to stay home and cater. The men are still alive and better

paulolee:
i think the wife material demands or the slave as a wife are mostly seen online written or posted by kids or single bachelors for life that aint married and dnt know what it takes to be in marriage because everyone this days with Internet have opinion..
the fact is that when you get married, both would adapt to the basic needs of the House when it comes to chores or the workload because no real man would like to see a wife that he truly loved being a slave for him..
if you notice this days we do see some men in the kitchen, taking and bringing thier kids from school and also some men do household shopping maybe because the wife is busy or stressed unlike back then during the days of our fathers...
all am saying is that both have to understand each other for the marriage to work, and this your wife material post isn't a factor for a successful marriage but instead is just a jibe for some guys to remain bachelors for life because they wont be happy seeing thier own sister playing such role..
dts ma opinion...

very sensible and plausible comment. 5000 likes.

Toks2008:


People see what they want to see. an unbias reader will know the fact that i used ''MANY'' to start removes the notion of generalization.

If i wrote this then why should i generalize.

You are certainly a bias writer, hence, your use of suggestive words.

I saw your highlighted assertions suggesting that men who fail to provide certain home appliances lacked common sense, without considering their pockets and financial capabilities.

I doubt a married man would use seedy words to describe his fellow men while feigning ignorance about his choice of words

Sixfeetbelle:


@ the bold, this protection you speak of, isn't that what single mothers and widows are doing on a daily? Can you see how flawed that statement is?

Compare the children raised by single mothers and ones raised by both parents and see the difference. Also, ask the single mothers what they pass through raising a family without a man. Money is not everything, a man's presence means a lot for the children upbringing and even the mothers

Na only God fit give person good wife jare

tunjilana:
Show me a man whose wife contributes meaningfully to the home, who is not pompous, proud and way out of order ... And I will show u a man who is willing to do everything to ensure donestic work doesn't kill her...what we have these days are women who don't want to contribute to the home from their earnings but expect the man to understand that they cant be available to handle domestics at home due to this same work/career

You made a sensible argument here.

Only those who are marriage will understand better.

Pikin wey dey primary school no go sabi Uni paro. The gap large.

hashtagged:
Thats what women are meant to be, so if women arent slaves, men shouldnt be breadwinners, you put it like women doing house work is slavery, the men doing the breadwinning what is that called?

In a home

A womans job: cooking, caring for kids, child bearing, maintaning the home

A mans job: breadwinning, making money and provision for the family.

Isnt it balanced, OP you are just a simp, ass licking women wont get you anywhere, so you want men to make money and care for the home as women sit down and watch you(their slave) do everything up to washing their undies. Nonsense

Women these days are equally bread winners. They provide for their homes in one way or the other, either by engaging in trade or they are professionals in various fields.

futurerex:
This unstable fellow again!

Obviously very unstable mentally.

ademijuwonlo:


Most women that provide for the family won't come and tell you cos they don't want the world to think less of their husbands.

Exactly! If they do, the world would crucify them for emasculating their husbands.
"Why should a woman brag that she's assisting her partner financially?"

Dew04:
Majority of the stores you patronize, who own them?
How many petty traders have you come across who are males?
In offices and banks and schools and every work place there is, aren't there women?
According to you, they are all single ladies?
Their earnings don't go into sustaining the family?
Women are sharing the responsibility of breadwinning. That's the gospel truth.
And you want to know why? Because no man wants a dependant females who needs financial assistance all the time.

'Your money is our money'
'My money is mine alone'

Breadwinner?? Haha nice joke!!

Rare cases!!

Toks2008:
The idea of a wife material by many men is not different from the idea of having a slave in the house... Men want a woman who will be able to wake up as early as possible when others are still asleep, do the house chores and tend to the needs of the kids, the husband and after serving her household, she will go out to make ends meet and latter come back home to make sure her kids and husband are well taken care of and this includes cooking, washing their clothes and lots more... Men want a Nanny, A cook, A laundry lady, house cleaner, An errand lady, Sex provider and many more in one lady who is considered a weaker sex and as if this is not stressful enough, most men would rather boast about the ability of their lady in washing hard fabrics with bare hands, they will talk about how they so much love a lady because she can pound yam the natural way and will be proud to talk about how good their lady is in using archaic methods to prepare their meals... And the worst twist is that even if the lady is pregnant, they will still watch her do these tasks.

So I ask: is there anything different between a wife material and a slave? Will heaven fall if the man assists his wife in the home front?

Does common sense not tell the man that he needs to make life easier for his wife by getting a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, and several other home/cooking appliances that will make life easier for her. Must a lady even know how to cook before you tag her wife material? What if she just can't cook or is the ability to cook part of success in life?

Please don't get it twisted, I'm not here to advise ladies to be redundant in their homes. Every married lady must be a home keeper, ensuring that her kids and husband are her priority...but nevertheless, in my opinion, a wife material means a gentle, submissive wife who will love you for who you are, tolerate your weaknesses, a Wife Material is a woman who is about her business, can hold her own in a conversation, is generous and can handle money well. A woman who will put your needs first and values her marriage so much that she won't defile it by being unfaithful... And just as the book of proverbs 31 says,...'' a virtuous woman is one who leads her home with integrity, discipline, and more and all the virtues she is practicing are aimed at making the life of her husband better, teaching her children, and serving God'' this is never the same as having a slave in the house in the name of wife material.

My prayer for every man reading this is that God provides for you so that you will make life easier for your woman so that you can look beyond that slave-like quality that many men use to qualify a wife material.


I hope this makes sense.

100%.

chiol:


May God not allow women to be bread winners. Any man being fed by a woman is in hell. Fear women! Women's money belongs to them alone while the men's is for the entire family.

Men go and hustle, do not depend on women for your own life. If a woman feeds you for a week, the whole world must hear it and you will be treated and addressed as a dog. May God bless men's hustles, so they can always provide and take care of their families without waiting for their wives

Women will remind you that their simple responsibilities - cooking and taking care of the house, are slavery because you are poor. If you are rich they will not complain. I wish the roles could even be swapped. Be providing and be in charge of the family responsibilities let me be cooking.

While I do not support negligence or lack of responsibility on men's part, believe me it is very okay for women to stand in gap if things go south for the Man, that is why they are Husband and Wife. A woman should be ready to support, so your outburst filled with sentiments and emotions do not hold water here.
Women react when they are pushed to limit same as men. When a woman who is the breadwinner is still expected to do all chores, and be active in bed,then be aware that you are only pushing her over her limit same way a man will react if after being a loving and supportive husband is rejected sexually. That wife is pushing it too far.


Rich Men's wives hardly work or have to spend their earnings, they tend to have house helps , so where's the comparison?

I don't want a slave wife material but I want a responsible wife...and not some slay queens that filled with a sense of entitlement...

hashtagged:
Thats what women are meant to be, so if women arent slaves, men shouldnt be breadwinners, you put it like women doing house work is slavery, the men doing the breadwinning what is that called?

In a home

A womans job: cooking, caring for kids, child bearing, maintaning the home

A mans job: breadwinning, making money and provision for the family.

Isnt it balanced, OP you are just a simp, ass licking women wont get you anywhere, so you want men to make money and care for the home as women sit down and watch you(their slave) do everything up to washing their undies. Nonsense

You're slowpoke,,,what about those ladies that leave their comfort zone to hustle to bring comfort to her home... OP is right,,, you must have been a perpetual slave bf you are called a good wife in Nigeria...i feel for Nigeria women sha

LordIsaac:
Someone needs to read "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar. This one has been psyched!

He has being psyched by his new wife..
May he the wife can't cook but compensate for his deficiencies in the other room!!

I don't know why he is writing Epistles in order to weaken many Men's standard!!

A wife material is a God-given right of every Man!!

Rilwayne001:
Marriage, in the true sense of union, should never be a slavery business whereby one works his/her ass for the benefit of the other partner. However in a marriage setting, I do believe both parties in the union must bring something tangible to the table to make things balance. Also it's important that in a situation whereby things are not generally as balance as we'd want them to be, that love fills such void for it to be absolutely balance subjectively.

In my opinion, I believe, the man, aside being a natural provider of the family is also a natural protector of it. There are situation whereby the woman can take the former position, but can never take the latter position. The more reason why the man is very important leading wherever the boat of the marriage is going.

I believe a marriage whereby the man provides over 80% needs of the family, it is only logical that the woman provides something else in proper amount to complement the man's effort. For example, if the man pays the normal bills, house rent, foods, children fees etc, then it is pertinent on the woman to do something in proportion of what the man is doing. Of course you don't expect me to be carrying all these financial burdens and when the time to rest comes, I should start going about with kitchen duties or other house chores. Objectively it's not balance. And if the wife takes the position of doing all these house chores and taking care of the kids, that's not slavery but rather helping the husband.

But then a situation whereby the wife pays bills as much as the man, maybe splitting it or something, then of course, the whole burden of house duties cannot be rested on the woman, but an important point to note is that, she still has to do more of home duties than the husband, because already the husband is taking care of the family's protection, something the woman can never do.

Meanwhile, we don't expect all these to be balance, one way or the other it'll always be lopsided. What makes marriage fruitful and lasting is LOVE and RESPECT. If the love and respect are there, nothing will look like a burden on either part of the parties. However if one of these two things is missing, forget it, even if the wife turns a slave to the husband or the husband turns to satisfy his wife, the marriage would, Sooner rather than later, crash or be painful for both parties.

Protection from what exactly?

Everyone has his or her definition of "wife material", if this is what you see as wife material fine, others define it differently

Dew04:
Yes.

Hashtagged: stop being silly. This is the 21st century. Life isn't black and white.
What about women who work alongside their husbands? What those whose income provides sustenance for the family? You make it seem as though there are no female doctors, bankers, executives, engineers, etc.
Even the petty traders; the women with hair saloons and stores. Aren't they sharing the responsibility of the breadwinner?
Nowadays, several women support their partners by earning. If they do that (which is expected seeing as you all complain about Nigerian women's financial dependency) how is the scale balanced?
Most men believe domestic chores are beneath them. Don't you find it odd that they expect a woman to "cook, care for the kids, bear children, maintain the home" as well as go to the work?

Why are you people looking for talks where there is non, This kinda situation warrant both parties to sit and discuss, whatever they decide is non of our business, Life is much more easier than before, but it obvious some people still prefer doing things the local way (Some women prefers pounding their yams even if Machine ia available, some still prefer cooking for their husbands even if they've got a chef, some will even tell you using machines do decrease the texture of clothes)...with the way things are going, very soon, women will suggest Men should start going for Omugo...!!

It's there lives, so sitting here and analyzing how other people decides to live their lifes in their respective homes won't change anything....This kinda post will only put ideas into many people's homes that may certainly result to disaster

bettermike:


Interesting.

Men with a very busy schedule should leave their compulsory official duties and come home to cook for the woman lounging all day at home netflixing.

Right?

Wow.

What about women who also work?

Palema007:
What happens in situations in which the woman is the bread winner, she provides and contribute to the family's finances.? Should she be left alone to do her supposed natural roles too?

See quesion.. A woman should make her home work, if she is engaged with work and make enough money, she should automate her home. Machines can do a lot these days plus nani and steward. Leave the man to develop his own talents and make his own money too. Women are better home managers not the man.

Palema007:
Lol.... I'm very Lazy oooo. 1/2 yard is too much, them never see raw resources to produce my own material.

Thank you nne. Beautiful response.

In Nigeria, 99% of a woman's income or money or wealth is as useless to her man as 'p' is useless to the word "psychology".


So any Nigerian man hoping on a woman's money or wealth to make it in life will die wretched


If Nigerian women are cheerful and giving with their income like Nigerian men, believe me, we won't have to many broke and struggling families in Nigeria today.


This is why Nigerian men only expect their wife to:

Born kids
Cook
Keep the home clean
Care for the kids

You know sometimes this thing is about perspective. Personally I may not notice I am slaving till you ask me to do one specific house chore- WASHING. Please don’t tell me to wash heap of clothes, let alone a man’s shirts that needs starch and vigorous ironing.

I also do not believe it has anything to him being a breadwinner. That is why it is good to marry a man that has sense and conscience. I am not sure they are up to 31 remaining in Nigeria now.

Two people are in a home/marriage. It is ideal that they both put hands to keep it running- domestically, financially, sexually...etc. Anything less and one person is just being wicked. We have a lot of wicked partners in Nigeria.

chiol:


May God not allow women to be bread winners. Any man being fed by a woman is in hell. Fear women! Women's money belongs to them alone while the men's is for the entire family.

Men go and hustle, do not depend on women for your own life. If a woman feeds you for a week, the whole world must hear it and you will be treated and addressed as a dog. May God bless men's hustles, so they can always provide and take care of their families without waiting for their wives

Women will remind you that their simple responsibilities - cooking and taking care of the house, are slavery because you are poor. If you are rich they will not complain. I wish the roles could even be swapped. Be providing and be in charge of the family responsibilities let me be cooking.

God forbid that the role is swapped!!

Women can't handle that kind of Leadership!!

"Dear what did you cook?" "No I don't want that, you are just staying at home while myself as a woman working very hard to balance the home. Make sure my food is ready before I come around and get back to me". How would you feel??

It is your God-given right to be the Leader/breadwinner while she does the wifely duties..

chiol:


Compare the children raised by single mothers and ones raised by both parents and see the difference. Also, ask the single mothers what they pass through raising a family without a man. Money is not everything, a man's presence means a lot for the children upbringing and even the mothers

Those kids grew up wonderfully without the presence of a man. That you don't see it as such doesn't negate the fact that their mothers became their protectors as well as nurturers. Same thing can be said of a single dad and widowers

Palema007:
What happens in situations in which the woman is the bread winner, she provides and contribute to the family's finances.? Should she be left alone to do her supposed natural roles too?

Don't let today's modernization blur you. My mum earned far more than my dad and heaven did not fall. Neither of them does house chores. My mum had a maid who stayed with us until my eldest sister go to primary six and she left.

What Dad did was to tutor us on how to be independent. Dad was a very good cook but he does that once in a year precisely every 1st Jan. So he had roles shared among five of us and my dad and mum supervised. ( none of us attended boarding school)

At age 6, I could wash my casual clothes and fold them neatly. my eldest sister did the cooking. Every year my Dad announces new roles appropriate for your age.

So before we got to JSS 3, we were all gurus in house keeping. We never had any maid again till we all left the house.

The initial stage may not be easy but pays off in the end. Children are part of the family and should be allowed to hold responsibility suitable for their age.

Sixfeetbelle:


Those kids grew up wonderfully without the presence of a man. That you don't see it as such doesn't negate the fact that their mothers became their protectors as well as nurturers. Same thing can be said of a single dad and widowers

A tissue of lies

eni4real:
Why are you calming down for him?
So, you have these good qualities and your former post didn't suggest that??

Eni4real take am easy nah... You gave me over 5 mentions, Biko how I wan start to dey respond?

Toks2008:


Cry lol! you have no idea the type of man i am.

Go eat your dinner boy.

You have the guts to call yourself a man.

Child. You know nothing. Just continue your ass licking.

Many ladies are very lazy, naturally, and will read so many negative meanings into this piece of advice for men. No good man will want his wife to go through all these, but a point must be made about many wives who just love to be very active at home, and therefore, are misconstrued as enslavement by many feminists and gender equality proponents. We all know, especially married men, that many women indirectly control their husbands. I am, therefore, surprised that this topic is coming to social media.

Palema007:
Eni4real take am easy nah... You gave me over 5 mentions, Biko how I wan start to dey respond?

Lolz

hupo:


Don't let today's modernization blur you. My mum earned far more than my dad and heaven did not fall. Neither of them does house chores. My mum had a maid who stayed with us until my eldest sister go to primary six and she left.

What Dad did was to tutor us on how to be independent. Dad was a very good cook but he does that once in a year precisely every 1st Jan. So he had roles shared among five of us and my dad and mum supervised. ( none of us attended boarding school)

At age 6, I could wash my casual clothes and fold them neatly. my eldest sister did the cooking. Every year my Dad announces new roles appropriate for your age.

So before we got to JSS 3, we were all gurus in house keeping. We never had any maid again till we all left the house.

The initial stage may not be easy but pays off in the end. Children are part of the family and should be allowed to hold responsibility suitable for their age.

You Dad is a Liberal and understanding person, that's not the same for some Men. Your mum wasn't pushed beyond her capacity and was allowed to have a maid, that's not the same for some women.