benji93:

Doing 20% financially? How many women do that? Most make money and still keep it for themselves. You were not paying attention woman. The reason you i gave you money to start up something is to massage your ego of wanting some financial independence. . I'll make sure i don't need your money for anything. I'll make sure you don't have to make any contribution. Just relax. That's why i don't criticize women that tell men to go and make money, or women that emphasize on the fact that they consider men that are finacially stable for marriage. It's what i am supposed to do. Make money. That kind of gold-digging requirement is acceptable. . So don't worry, unless you are married i'll make surplus money and come for you. I am getting there.

Open a business for me just to massage my ego? Okay ooh. I'll jump unto this bus. But won't the man get tired of handling everything financial one of these days? Even grocery shopping, you want to be in charge of? Random medical emergencies? Impromptu school runs like PTA meeting and stuffs like that?

While I commend you for wanting to shoulder everything, I fear you'd have to be extremely wealthy to achieve that.

Toks2008:


You be sadist walahi.

You always pick out what you want... At least I prayed for those who may not have but ofcourse you no go see that part... .

OYO lo wa.

Grow up

Dew04:
and be treated with respect. She's sharing the responsibility of running the home. He should acknowledge her efforts.
how many men would wash the dishes or soiled linens if their wives are working alongside them?
I've met several women. Majority of the stores and saloons salons I patronize are owned by women. Where does the money the earn go to? most men don't treat their wives like second rate humans? Why?

The thing is not working alongside the men, the problem is they still don't pitch in. They get sense only after the men's demise.

eni4real:
Objective, using 1 example out of Millions of Nigerian Men??

Your question was intentional subjective!!


Use examples of people/men close to you!! Let's start from there!!

Breadwinning is a God given duties of men.. Women should keep the homes!!!

God forbid that the case is reversed!!

100% breadwinning is not that achievable anymore. Women are being forced to work too to supplement the house, thus increasing their traditional roles.

Unless the man is doing 100% finacial duties, wifey doesn't have to do 100% house chores. That's the message here.

eni4real:
He has being psyched by his new wife..
May he the wife can't cook but compensate for his deficiencies in the other room!!

I don't know why he is writing Epistles in order to weaken many Men's standard!!

A wife material is a God-given right of every Man!!

Exactly my brother... Well, life will open his eyes. He will learn the natural laws the hard way. There is a reason why we didn't have God the Mother or God the daughter.

eni4real:
Are you married??
If NO. Come, let me marry you!!
Hope you won't mind if I travel abroad and leave you with the children. Let's see how you will cope with training them ALONE!!! Let's see if you will not disturb me with calls on how much you miss my impact on thier unbringng!!

Single ladies and widows are just coping.. That doesn't mean the kids are getting complete training from them!!

And it doesn't mean they aren't being good protectors like you opined. They are managing, yes I agree, but deriding their management as futile without a man is an insult to the thousands of widows who raised great men and women.

If you leave me and travel out, I'd survive without you. That's human instinct. We survive even when the odds are against us. While I'd prefer you be there, I won't collapse with you gone. In fact, the kids would be more than enough motivation for me to be both parents to them.

listowell:

The thing is not working alongside the men, the problem is they still don't pitch in. They get sense only after the men's demise.

the error, thanks! Autocorrect is a bitch.
I don't get your post. Women don't work alongside men, or?
Every women who's earning is either single or a widow?

Sixfeetbelle:


And it doesn't mean they aren't being good protectors like you opined. They are managing, yes I agree, but deriding their management as futile without a man is an insult to the thousands of widows who raised great men and women.

If you leave me and travel out, I'd survive without you. That's human instinct. We survive even when the odds are against us. While I'd prefer you be there, I won't collapse with you gone. In fact, the kids would be more than enough motivation for me to be both parents to them.

Easier said than done

Sixfeetbelle:


100% breadwinning is not that achievable anymore. Women are being forced to work too to supplement the house, thus increasing their traditional roles.

Unless the man is doing 100% finacial duties, wifey doesn't have to do 100% house chores. That's the message here.

Nobody is talking about 100% or something

Lion Share!! That is what breadwinning is all about..

The woman may support... "let me buy this nice dress for my kids" " I love this Blender, let me buy it before someone else claim it " etc..

But major stuffs like Rent or landed property, school fees, Family upkeep per month etc comes from the Man..
It is our God given right

Women should not stop keeping the home tho..

NerdyRudeGyal:
Any sensible woman will run from a man who believes in such 1950s' concept of a "wife material" ― slavish, docile, no voice of her own, lets the man run the show ― in 2020. IMO, the modern-day wife material is a woman who has her own life, career, is strong, independent and doesn't depend on a man to do shiit. That said, any sensible woman [and man!] already knows how to do some basic things for herself, such as cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc, before she gets married; carry these skills into marriage and utilize them to take care of her children/family. Now that doesn't mean the man should deem these things her sole obligation, or refuse to assist her b/c he thinks they're beneath him, or refuse to buy the necessary household appliances/equipment to make her work easier in the home. Marriage is a partnership and if a man cannot assist his wife in the house, then he has no business getting married.

You have spoken senses, but don't be too harsh in your approach to correct some obvious mistakes been committed by some men. A man that has money should provide all of these, it is not even for the wife, it is for the ease of getting work done in the home. But a man that doesn't have money to get all of these and he is not lazy, he is working to make ends meet, surely, common sense doesn't mean he should be treated like a piece of shit because he can't.
Well done.

eni4real:
Easier said than done

It's being done over and over again. Women can survive, if need be, without the men. Abi you haven't seen young widows that refused to remarry?


Sha don't worry. I'm nothing like those women. Once you travel out and don't come back, just have it at the back of your mind that I'll travel to come meet you there. I signed for a partnership in raising the kids when I married you. Otherwise I'd have been a single mother.

Sixfeetbelle:


It's being done over and over again. Women can survive, if need be, without the men. Abi you haven't seen young widows that refused to remarry?


Sha don't worry. I'm nothing like those women. Once you travel out and don't come back, just have it at the back of your mind that I'll travel to come meet you there. I signed for a partnership in raising the kids when I married you. Otherwise I'd have been a single mother.

You see

sylve11:


very sensible and plausible comment. 5000 likes.

tanks...but bin tink say na 5k i see say u wan wire me oo..

eni4real:
Nobody is talking about 100% or something

Lion Share!! That is what breadwinning is all about..

The woman may support... "let me buy this nice dress for my kids" " I love this Blender, let me buy it before someone else claim it " etc..

But major stuffs like Rent or landed property, school fees, Family upkeep per month etc comes from the Man..
It is our God given right

Women should not stop keeping the home tho..

Well spoken. Provide for the major things and we'll happily keep the home.

Will you be willing to at least serve yourself food and wash your plate after eating sometimes?

A compromise on a few things is all we need, truly.

Sixfeetbelle:


Well spoken. Provide for the major things and we'll happily keep the home.

Will you be willing to at least serve yourself food and wash your plate after eating sometimes?

A compromise on a few things is all we need, truly.

Maid employment loading..

J111333:
Marriages of old were stable because our grandmothers accepted the roles of slaves and it was very easy for them to do that. They were mostly what Oyibos call home makers but this is unacceptable and overwhelming to today's wives who equally work hard to put food on the table just like the men.
In my opinion, men should sit and live up to the expectations of today's world.
How can a pregnant woman be cleaning and washing while her husband sits and watch tv?
How can a man not help out in the kitchen when his wife is overwhelmed cooking several dishes at a time?
How can a man sit and watch while his wife bathes the kids, dresses them and takes them to school?
These things can be done and they won't make someone less a man, it's all about common sense.

.
If the man is the sole breadwinner, the woman shouldn't complain. But it won't hurt if the man decide to help out in some areas.

eni4real:
You see

What? I was being honest.

Unless we are divorced and I deleted you from my life, you and I will be wherever you travel to. Sha grateful it hasn't gotten to the point of men travelling to outside space to avoid their wives

I have my reasons for wanting to shoulder all financial duties. I prefer a well-defiend role. I don't want to start arguing about how much financial responsibilities the lady is bearing and how much household responsibilities i have to bear commensurately. I mean what does 20% household responsibilities constitute? Wash plates ones a week? Bathe the baby twice a week? Go ot hte market once a week? or any combination of these and more. I am not even saying i won't do any of the household duties. I am saying i'll only do it whenever i want to, not cos it's my responsibility. Perhaps the food was too sweet, so i am doing the chores today, or last night was fantabulous. , and so on na so forth. And for your last point the goal of the man should be to strive to be solid financially. We both know wealth is relative. I don't need Dangote's money to be financially solid. Na dat kind money i consider extreme wealthy. I am talking about a monthly income in excess of 500k. That's definitely well below anything that suggests one is wealthy, but it's solid. If you live within your means you'll just be fine. No be to earn 1million naira go rent house for Lekki. That one na living above your means.

Sixfeetbelle:




Open a business for me just to massage my ego? Okay ooh. I'll jump unto this bus. But won't the man get tired of handling everything financial one of these days? Even grocery shopping, you want to be in charge of? Random medical emergencies? Impromptu school runs like PTA meeting and stuffs like that?

While I commend you for wanting to shoulder everything, I fear you'd have to be extremely wealthy to achieve that.

eni4real:
Maid employment loading..

Why a maid though? To wash your plate after eating? What happened to placing it in the dishwasher? Abi you don't have money for that?



I'll kill any nonsense female maid that steps into our home.

Sixfeetbelle:


What? I was being honest.

Unless we are divorced and I deleted you from my life, you and I will be wherever you travel to. Sha grateful it hasn't gotten to the point of men travelling to outside space to avoid their wives

I thought you want to practice your versatility on raising the kids ALONE??

I will be visiting once in a while though... To see if you are doing well

Must a woman know how to cook?? u ruined it there watch ur bro get married to someone who can't cook and u'll prefer ur so called "Slavish wife".

hashtagged:
Thats what women are meant to be, so if women arent slaves, men shouldnt be breadwinners, you put it like women doing house work is slavery, the men doing the breadwinning what is that called?

In a home

A womans job: cooking, caring for kids, child bearing, maintaning the home

A mans job: breadwinning, making money and provision for the family.

Isnt it balanced, OP you are just a simp, ass licking women wont get you anywhere, so you want men to make money and care for the home as women sit down and watch you(their slave) do everything up to washing their undies. Nonsense

Christ! :
May men like you be far from me

Sixfeetbelle:


Why a maid though? To wash your plate after eating? What happened to placing it in the dishwasher? Abi you don't have money for that?



I'll kill any nonsense female maid that steps into our home.

Jealous wife spotted

She is just a maid..

I love my wife.. I don't want her to get old early.. Hence, the need for a maid.. to help her out

So, have you changed your mind about a getting a hardworking Maid??

benji93:
I have my reasons for wanting to shoulder all financial duties. I prefer a well-defiend role. I don't want to start arguing about how much financial responsibilities the lady is bearing and how much household responsibilities i have to bear commensurately. I mean what does 20% household responsibilities constitute? Wash plates ones a week? Bathe the baby twice a week? Go ot hte market once a week? or any combination of these and more. I am not even saying i won't do any of the household duties. I am saying i'll only do it whenever i want to, not cos it's my responsibility. Perhaps the food was too sweet, so i am doing the chores today, or last night was fantabulous. , and so on na so forth. And for your last point the goal of the man should be to strive to be solid financially. We both know wealth is relative. I don't need Dangote's money to be financially solid. Na dat kind money i consider extreme wealthy. I am talking about a monthly income in excess of 500k. That's definitely well below anything that suggests one is wealthy, but it's solid. If you live within your means you'll just be fine. No be to earn 1million naira go rent house for Lekki. That one na living above your means.

This means that you're a completely traditional wife and having a traditional wife will fit into your life plan. Trust me, this post isn't focusing on that.

And, to be honest, occasionally helping out in the house is what most women want, both traditional and modern. We don't want it to be a routine but if we say we're tired today, we'd hope the man understands and serves himself food that night or sings our kids to bed that night.

But since you said you want to be doing these helping out when your spirit motivates you too, I'm glad you're going completely traditional. No modern woman can deal. Simple.

Are you married?

quote author=Toks2008 post=92317653]The idea of a wife material by many men is not different from the idea of having a slave in the house... Men want a woman who will be able to wake up as early as possible when others are still asleep, do the house chores and tend to the needs of the kids, the husband and after serving her household, she will go out to make ends meet and latter come back home to make sure her kids and husband are well taken care of and this includes cooking, washing their clothes and lots more... Men want a Nanny, A cook, A laundry lady, house cleaner, An errand lady, Sex provider and many more in one lady who is considered a weaker sex and as if this is not stressful enough, most men would rather boast about the ability of their lady in washing hard fabrics with bare hands, they will talk about how they so much love a lady because she can pound yam the natural way and will be proud to talk about how good their lady is in using archaic methods to prepare their meals... And the worst twist is that even if the lady is pregnant, they will still watch her do these tasks.

So I ask: is there anything different between a wife material and a slave? Will heaven fall if the man assists his wife in the home front?

Does common sense not tell the man that he needs to make life easier for his wife by getting a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, and several other home/cooking appliances that will make life easier for her. Must a lady even know how to cook before you tag her wife material? What if she just can't cook or is the ability to cook part of success in life?

Please don't get it twisted, I'm not here to advise ladies to be redundant in their homes. Every married lady must be a home keeper, ensuring that her kids and husband are her priority...but nevertheless, in my opinion, a wife material means a gentle, submissive wife who will love you for who you are, tolerate your weaknesses, a Wife Material is a woman who is about her business, can hold her own in a conversation, is generous and can handle money well. A woman who will put your needs first and values her marriage so much that she won't defile it by being unfaithful... And just as the book of proverbs 31 says,...'' a virtuous woman is one who leads her home with integrity, discipline, and more and all the virtues she is practicing are aimed at making the life of her husband better, teaching her children, and serving God'' this is never the same as having a slave in the house in the name of wife material.

My prayer for every man reading this is that God provides for you so that you will make life easier for your woman so that you can look beyond that slave-like quality that many men use to qualify a wife material.


I hope this makes sense. [/quote]

Mumu Post

eni4real:
Jealous wife spotted

She is just a maid..

I love my wife.. I don't want her to get old early.. Hence, the need for a maid.. to help her out

So, have you changed your mind about a getting a hardworking Maid??

Just a maid kee you there. With the way free knacking is being distributed carelessly. Let her just mistakenly near the door of the house first. Then we'll know what's up.

Loving your wife means you hire an older woman as the housekeeper. A 50 to 60 old woman is just what we can agree on, dear hubby

Never accepted getting one until hubby and I come to an agreement on how the home should be run. I heard of couples where the husband tells wife to quit work and look after the kids until they are old enough before resuming work. Then at that age, wifey can decide if she needs extra help or not. I'll never subscribe to young girls as maids in my house. Older women, always.

To avoid stories that touch

J111333:
Marriages of old were stable because our grandmothers accepted the roles of slaves and it was very easy for them to do that. They were mostly what Oyibos call home makers but this is unacceptable and overwhelming to today's wives who equally work hard to put food on the table just like the men.
In my opinion, men should sit and live up to the expectations of today's world.
How can a pregnant woman be cleaning and washing while her husband sits and watch tv?
How can a man not help out in the kitchen when his wife is overwhelmed cooking several dishes at a time?
How can a man sit and watch while his wife bathes the kids, dresses them and takes them to school?
These things can be done and they won't make someone less a man, it's all about common sense.

The pregnant woman is washing and cleaning.


And the husband is watching tv.


So who then is making the money?


You've just painted the picture of a lazy man and a hardworking woman. So answer the question to put things in a proper perspective.

Why i dey go find trouble look for modern woman? Who modern help? . To each his own. Good luck, modern woman.

Sixfeetbelle:


This means that you're a completely traditional wife and having a traditional wife will fit into your life plan. Trust me, this post isn't focusing on that.

And, to be honest, occasionally helping out in the house is what most women want, both traditional and modern. We don't want it to be a routine but if we say we're tired today, we'd hope the man understands and serves himself food that night or sings our kids to bed that night.

But since you said you want to be doing these helping out when your spirit motivates you too, I'm glad you're going completely traditional. No modern woman can deal. Simple.

Sixfeetbelle:


Just a maid kee you there. With the way free knacking is being distributed carelessly. Let her just mistakenly near the door of the house first. Then we'll know what's up.

Loving your wife means you hire an older woman as the housekeeper. A 50 to 60 old woman is just what we can agree on, dear hubby

Never accepted getting one until hubby and I come to an agreement on how the home should be run. I heard of couples where the husband tells wife to quit work and look after the kids until they are old enough before resuming work. Then at that age, wifey can decide if she needs extra help or not. I'll never subscribe to young girls as maids in my house. Older women, always.

To avoid stories that touch

Young girls are more energetic and will be good friendd to the kids, you know!!

Old women at 50& 60 are too old for such stress.. They are someone's else mum!!

I love my wife.. How can inchest on my wife with a maid? Is not an option

Calm down

Thank you very much for this and I hope our men see this and change their perspective about marriage.

It's mostly poor men that have this slave-wife-material of a thing. Rich men employ maids or buy many machines and home appliances that help lessen work load for their women. Only few assist their wives in house chores

Pinkie2018:
Thank you very much for this and I hope our men see this and change their perspective about marriage.

It's mostly poor men that have this slave-wife-material of a thing. Rich men employ maids or buy many machines and home appliances that help lessen work load for their women. Only few assist their wives in house chores

By buying those stuffs you have reduced her burden considerably and she will enjoy those chores.

A pounded yam lover can get a poundo machine that pounds yam like the traditional way.

May GOD provide for us all.