Rtk5:
Thank yoi brother, she did something serious that made me refuse talking to her. pls note

1. Both of us have sacrificed a lot for the marriage
2. Both if us have forgiven each other severally on issues
3. I refused calling her since she left cos I never drove her out of the house. She's trying to prove a point.

Pride, stubbornness from the both of you.
You won't grow up. Neither will she.
Look I'm not telling you that you're entirely at fault.
I'm only telling you that you placed all her fault, her mother's and siblings fault before us without telling us yours.
Guy, life continues.
You want to move on? Then move on.

My problem with all these stories on romance land is you come reporting someone. You say what they did, but you don't report exactly in the same manner what you did.

It takes two to tango.

Rtk5:
She sent me a text three days back that she's coming to pick some of her things & the baby's things cos they are running short of Wears & that she needs money for the baby's provisions. I told her I don't have money. I didnt see her till date.

Refusing to take care of your daughter's needs is another mistake you're about to make.

You've messed your marriage up, don't mess your daughter's life up. It's your duty to provide for her needs. I don't know if you don't have mature and wise counsel or you just don't take reasonable advice.

Trying to use money as a leverage in this situation is a huge mistake. The issue is gonna escalate to a shocking degree if you don't calm down, CHANGE, apologize to your wife for whatever you did wrong and get your family back.

Chii59:

From everything I've read, emotionally, you're not mature for marriage at all.
You came to nairaland to say your wife is fond of leaving the house, they bashed your wife. You never fully told us what made her leave. All you said was "little argument".
Next thing, you're thinking of bringing in a girlfriend.
People kept bashing your wife.
It wasn't until a few moments you're now saying it's because you're an expert, a PhD holder at keeping malice.
Look if you want to end it, end it.
She's left.
Life continues.
Work on yourself.

A reasonable family will bring her back to her husband's house & inquire what happened but why will they always believe whatever she tells them without hearing from me. I'm not suppose to call her or go there?

A reasonable family will ask her, did he send you out of the house no matter what she tells them

Rtk5:
A reasonable family will bring her back to her husband's house & inquire what happened but why will they always believe whatever she tells them without hearing from me. I'm not suppose to call her or go there?

A reasonable family will ask her, did he send you out of the house no matter what she tells them

Stop flogging a dead horse. Since neither of you is willing to come back to the other, leave her family alone.
Take care of your daughter. Don't abandon her financially and otherwise.

DBestDoc:


Refusing to take care of your daughter's needs is another mistake you're about to make.

You've messed your marriage up, don't mess your daughter's life up. It's your duty to provide for her needs. I don't know if you don't have mature and wise counsel or you just don't take reasonable advice.

Trying to use money as a leverage in this situation is a huge mistake. The issue is gonna escalate to a shocking degree if you don't calm down, CHANGE, apologize to your wife for whatever you did wrong and get your family back.

He's not willing to. Let him find another wife.

DBestDoc:


Refusing to take care of your daughter's needs is another mistake you're about to make.

You've messed your marriage up, don't mess your daughter's life up. It's your duty to provide for her needs. I don't know if you don't have mature and wise counsel or you just don't take reasonable advice.

Trying to use money as a leverage in this situation is a huge mistake. The issue is gonna escalate to a shocking degree if you don't calm down, CHANGE, apologize to your wife for whatever you did wrong and get your family back.

She did something serious that made me to stop talking to her, then she left saying she can't continue living with a person that keeps malice without focusing on what she did. She did something that even you will find it difficult to forgive.

Do you know that the day she left, she took all the money we be in the house without minding how I'll cope?

Rtk5:
Thank yoi brother, she did something serious that made me refuse talking to her. pls note

1. Both of us have sacrificed a lot for the marriage
2. Both if us have forgiven each other severally on issues
3. I refused calling her since she left cos I never drove her out of the house. She's trying to prove a point.

bro you have to understand that majority of the women will try to make you look like your are at fault, even though your wife is the one that left. they will try to make you look like a monster because you were upset with something that your wife did (as if being upset with your spouse is the ultimate marriage sin). i guess in their minds, whatever your wife does, you should ACCEPT it and smile like a donkey. there is nothing wrong with being upset, whats wrong is how SHE reacted.

i dont know what your wife did that made you upset, but i sure do know that she had NO RIGHT to leave with your child (unless you physically abused her or did something criminal/against the law). any couple would have COMMUNICATED and settle the matter as adult, but i guess you guys cant do that, and she thought it was better for her to put you on the spot and leave, in order for you to come beg for her forgiveness...

See OP the worse people to take advice from as a man are women. That is all I have to say.

MrBrownJay1:


bro you have to understand that majority of the women will try to make you look like your are at fault, even though your wife is the one that left. they will try to make you look like a monster because you were upset with something that your wife did (as if being upset with your spouse is the ultimate marriage sin). i guess in their minds, whatever your wife does, you should ACCEPT it and smile like a donkey. there is nothing wrong with being upset, whats wrong is how SHE reacted.

i dont know what your wife did that made you upset, but i sure do know that she had NO RIGHT to leave with your child (unless you physically abused her or did something criminal/against the law). any couple would have COMMUNICATED and settle the matter as adult, but i guess you guys cant do that, and she thought it was better for her to put you on the spot and leave, in order for you to come beg for her forgiveness...

If they want to hold the child just to get me coming to beg, let them have the child but I'll never go to beg. I'll never step my foot at their house neither will I ever call her line. I know what I'm saying, why will I always be the one going to meet her family anytime we have issues, why won't they ever come to me. When its obvious your daughter is at fault. Well, I don't know what she told them this time around.

Rtk5:
She sent me a text three days back that she's coming to pick some of her things & the baby's things cos they are running short of Wears & that she needs money for the baby's provisions. I told her I don't have money. I didnt see her till date.

you need to sit down with this woman and ask the important questions...and take it from there. she is just trying to emotionally fukc with your mind.
if she is moving out then let her take ALL her belongings and be merry, BUT, if she has suddenly gotten her sense back, then you guys should have a serious talk so that this BS never happens again.

Rtk5:
She did something serious that made me to stop talking to her, then she left saying she can't continue living with a person that keeps malice without focusing on what she did. She did something that even you will find it difficult to forgive.

Do you know that the day she left, she took all the money we be in the house without minding how I'll cope?

what is that serious thing she did that made you keep malice for so long?

Rtk5:
A reasonable family will bring her back to her husband's house & inquire what happened but why will they always believe whatever she tells them without hearing from me. I'm not suppose to call her or go there?

A reasonable family will ask her, did he send you out of the house no matter what she tells them

do you know a toxic environment can send someone out of the house? What is that she did that made you keep malice? Do you know malice creates a toxic environment for someone's peace of mind?

Rtk5:
Do you know what she did that made me refuse talking to her? so don't say that.

you have not said what that thing is, if your wife didn't cheat on you why did you stop talking to her?

Rtk5:
Then let the marriage end, I'm just giving her till tomorrow if I don't see her or she contacts me, I'll move with my life too.

the marriage cannot end, you have a child. Both of you should not be wicked to that girl.

Rtk5:
She sent me a text three days back that she's coming to pick some of her things & the baby's things cos they are running short of Wears & that she needs money for the baby's provisions. I told her I don't have money. I didnt see her till date.

tell your wife to come back home or else go and pick your daughter

Rtk5:
Yes, that's the reason she left. But that's not enough reason to leave her home, there are many women out there who the husband beats them but yet they endure the marriag, I've never for once raised my hand on her. Even if I want her back now maybe she has started moving on & forgotten about the marriage

what do you mean, malice and beating are both toxic to anybody bro.

Rtk5:
She did something serious that made me to stop talking to her, then she left saying she can't continue living with a person that keeps malice without focusing on what she did. She did something that even you will find it difficult to forgive.

Do you know that the day she left, she took all the money we be in the house without minding how I'll cope?

Complicated attitude though.

I hope you guys find a way to communicate and sort things out amicably.

All the best.

Rtk5:
her main issue is that when I'm angry I like to change mood, & refuse talking to her for long. So she can't continue leaving with someone that will be keeping malice with her

very valid reason to leave. Malice is childish bro. She is your wife and not a stranger. The mother of your baby. She is not a murderer. If she wrongs you please tell her what she did, also adjust not every time she must do what you want. She is an adult

Rtk5:
That's it brother, like I've gone after her severally to their family house in the past. This time around I went to work & she just sent me a text that says, I'm going with our son, whenever youvwantvus back come & get us.

final advise, tell your wife to come back, make good mad fucking love that would shut down the roof and carry your child, play with her and get your peace of mind back. Getting a babe would destroy you

jesmond3945:
tell your wife to come back home or else go and pick your daughter

Exactly. That daughter shouldn't be the grass to suffer when two elephants fight.

jesmond3945:
very valid reason to leave. Malice is childish bro. She is your wife and not a stranger. The mother of your baby. She is not a murderer. If she wrongs you please tell her what she did, also adjust not every time she must do what you want. She is an adult

I'm happy a man is saying this. Because coming from me, they'd say I'm trying to support his wife.

Rtk5:
her main issue is that when I'm angry I like to change mood, & refuse talking to her for long. So she can't continue leaving with someone that will be keeping malice with her

Ok thank you for sharing, the truth is that something we think is very slight and inconsequential can be extremely upsetting to other people but due to our nature or upbringing we downplay it .

Chii59:

And you're right.
Now he's saying the real reason.
Why should a grown up adult get offended and keep malice for a protracted period of time? Isn't that enough to frustrate any spouse?
I can't live with a man who won't talk to me for days.

It's hard to cope with a chronic malice keeper.... I know

nahzyla:


It's hard to cope with a chronic malice keeper.... I know

Let me be honest, I used to have issues with malice cos I'm a very sensitive person.
It cost me good men.
And I decided that I won't continue along that line.
Pride is very destructive.
And even now, I can't date someone who keeps malice. I didn't know how malice hurt. Till I worked as an apprentice to a person who was a serial malice keeper.
Once she felt offended, she won't talk to me from morning to night for DAYS on end.
I was so frustrated, cos it kept happening from time to time. I had enough one day and left.

Chii59:

Let me be honest, I used to have issues with malice cos I'm a very sensitive person.
It cost me good men.
And I decided that I won't continue along that line.
Pride is very destructive.
And even now, I can't date someone who keeps malice. I didn't know how malice hurt. Till I worked as an apprentice to a person who was a serial malice keeper.
Once she felt offended, she won't talk to me from morning to night for DAYS on end.
I was so frustrated, cos it kept happening from time to time. I had enough one day and left.

Can you answer this question sincerely as a woman?

1. What do you think is going on I'm her mind right now? Like why she kept mute.

2. Do you think there is still a chance of us coming back or she's beginning to move on?
or perhaps she as moved on?

Lemme hear from you plsss

Rtk5:
Can you answer this question sincerely as a woman?

1. What do you think is going on I'm her mind right now? Like why she kept mute.

2. Do you think there is still a chance of us coming back or she's beginning to move on?
or perhaps she as moved on?

Lemme hear from you plsss

Honestly I do not know.
There are many sides of your marriage you haven't told us about. Nobody but yourself here has the full picture.
If you want her, even if you don't want her, for your daughter's sake, you must try to reach out to her. Drop pride, both of you are wrong. BOTH.
Go to her, play with your daughter. Don't allow your child lack her father.
If you want to proceed with divorce, ensure you get joint custody of your daughter.
Biko.

Make the call bro, for ur conscience and your daughter seek, do it, she might be missing u, just dying for u to make d first move.

If you make the call she gives you the opportunity to settle the issue, good and fine, if she is still proving stubborn, no issue at least u will no u have done your part. You have nothing to loose making that call, but you have a lot to loose not making that call, you wouldn't forgive yourself later in life when things because clearer and find out you could have done better to make the marriage work (I bet u few years from now things will become clearer)

Make that call, it takes nothing from you, it will even help you to move on, cos you will know you have done your best

bishopjoe02:
Make the call bro, for ur conscience and your daughter seek, do it, she might be missing u, just dying for u to make d first move.

If you make the call she gives you the opportunity to settle the issue, good and fine, if she is still proving stubborn, no issue at least u will no u have done your part. You have nothing to loose making that call, but you have a lot to loose not making that call, you wouldn't forgive yourself later in life when things because clearer and find out you could have done better to make the marriage work (I bet u few years from now things will become clearer)

Make that call, it takes nothing from you, it will even help you to move on, cos you will know you have done your best

I must confess, all you've said really struck my heart, you're really so on point... I wish I can make the move first. I'm finding it very very very difficult. Something which i know is coming from the devil is telling me that it will portray my self as a weakling if I call her.

Rtk5:
Yes, that's the reason she left. But that's not enough reason to leave her home, there are many women out there who the husband beats them but yet they endure the marriag, I've never for once raised my hand on her. Even if I want her back now maybe she has started moving on & forgotten about the marriage

Loool this your perception of marriage will take you no where. Lots of people can't deal with malice.

Ogbeni better go and bring your wife from her parents place ooo, you were advised in your initial thread to call her, you didn't .

Now you are opening thread, you better don't let pride destroy your marriage ooo.

She has not moved on any thing go and get your wife back and you too stop keeping malice.

You are already thinking of girlfriend

Chii59:

Honestly I do not know.
There are many sides of your marriage you haven't told us about. Nobody but yourself here has the full picture.
If you want her, even if you don't want her, for your daughter's sake, you must try to reach out to her. Drop pride, both of you are wrong. BOTH.
Go to her, play with your daughter. Don't allow your child lack her father.
If you want to proceed with divorce, ensure you get joint custody of your daughter.
Biko.

I just want you to attempt as a woman.

Call her dad? Did he marry her dad?

When did these communication problems start? Or was this always the case?

Deffjam:
u better don't call her 'yet' but i will advice you to call her dad and explain to him don't explain as if you are begging oo.....explain like you are telling him let ur voice be loud and clear.

cooooooks:
Call her dad? Did he marry her dad?

When did these communication problems start? Or was this always the case?

The young man and his wife are a hell of two stubborn people o