₦airaland Forum

gunners160:
I resist every temptation that will make me go advice you.
Is it people dnt learn from d failures of others or they are too dumb to learn. The gal played you and I am happy she did. Since love blind ur eyes, remain blind

RavagedHeart:
True love doesn't die quick

RavagedHeart:
True love doesn't die quick

RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirm it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the rain like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying for the heartbreak, she seemed very happy unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help my self. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday.


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

RavagedHeart:
She's been with me all the time that I cheated. 2months after I stopped cheating then she broke up with me.
Sometimes I think she left because I stopped cheating on her

Ishilove:
Your love has crossed into the threshold of obsession and is dangerous to your mental health. The only way out of this is to start socialising again. Go out and view the world with fresh eyes and you will see that there is so much to live for instead of pining over someone who was just looking for an excuse to leave you. Take yourself to a cinema (I don't know if you can afford it though. Your broke ass is still stuck in limbo). What are your hobbies? Writing? Painting? Coding? Get busy! Na idleness dey worry you, which is why you can't concentrate on anything. Don't be a liability at this your age. It is a disgrace.

Most important of all, take it to Jesus. He is the Balm of Gilead, the healer of wounds. You'll be amazed at what He can do.

Athemisia:
True love my foot.... you better wake up from your fantasy....

There is no true love never!
Stop watching too many love movies!
Stop reading too many love novels!
All of that do not portray reality....

Take a good look at musicians who sing a lot of love songs and check their love life in reality— It's a direct opposite.

IMO01:
You were taking care of her forgetting to take care of yourself, that's where d problem began.

RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirm it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the rain like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying for the heartbreak, she seemed very happy unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help my self. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday.


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

8lngish:
what job exactly
was it that you were doing again

UyaiIncomparabl:
I'm sorry, but I don't believe your story. Too many hooks, line, and sinker tales have been everywhere on this site lately. And you need the maximum exposure, why exactly? Someone who's hurting would not even bother about the front page. All they would need at that time is to vent out their hurt/frustrations. What's the least advice you think you'd get that you already haven't known? Maybe, some bunch of self-acclaimed awakened NL dudes will call you a SIMP, poosy-ho nigga, weak man and whatever mumble-jumble they conjure out these days and what else? Force you into their red-pills cult at all cost and give you some red-pills nuggets to read.

You are only looking for sensational comments to thrive on. You know that kind of M v F gender thingy. It's not an anomaly, though, so I understand. I think it's time for me to start writing sensational stories too.

Just watch how the word "SIMP" will start flying around this thread.

RavagedHeart:
I've tried all that. But it's still too hard to move on because I already built my life around this girl.

pansophist:
You broke so many relationship rules, that it was inevitable for her to go.

1. Want, not need a woman. A man should be on his goal, mission, pursuing his purpose, career, or whatever seriously. A woman should complement and not be the sole purpose of your existence.

2. You think she was the "prize, while clearly, you were. I mean, you furnished her to a high standard, the pillar of her subsistence, the cornerstone of her metamorphosis, so how on earth can you be the one being dumped, instead of doing the dumping? You're basically persuading a burden and felt depressed because the burden wanna leave? Tufiakwa.

3. You sacrificed your own growth to pursue her, that was disastrous. This is related to number one. Seems your goal is her, to have the brightest, refined chick while ignoring your own self. The rule is that you have to keep becoming the best version of yourself.

Ever heard of hypergamy? Women do not date below dominance hierarchy, but above. The day your woman becomes better than you in anyways, the countdown to her departure as just begun. It may not be instant, but surely in the distant future.

4. Women by nature loose attractions for men that exhibit weakness. Begging her, being walked upon, and still sponsoring her while she ride with other ich men pronounced you as an epitome of a looser. How can she respect you when you do that? Any relationship you beg to keep, you will beg to sustain, which messes up the power dynamic and puts you at a disadvantage. And if she agrees to stay, you'll forever be disrespect.

I'll tell you a secret that has worked for me. NEVER APPEAL TO THE MORAL SENSE OF A WOMAN, OR YOUR SUPPOSED OPPRESSOR. Never has the oppressed gain his freedom by appealing to the moral sense of their oppressor. It never works. Negotiate from a position of strength, not weakness.

5. She has left since the first time she started behaving, you only got the announcement later. She had sex with you once in four months? Well, that's all you need to know that she was keeping you for your money. Woman are as Hot as men, some even argue that are hornier. A girl that loves you will fck you every day as much as you want it.

I blame you not, we live in a sad time as men. A time where fathers are not lecturing their sons and having a strong bond with them, to coexist well with women, understand them, and not be at a losing point. You've paid your price to knowledge, let it go, and become better.

RavagedHeart:
I'm not going to mention the job to avoid pointing fingers to my real self.
And she didn't school in a small town. But I won't mention that too.
I think her pride made her stand by her decision, and she's got other richer men coming her way. I just don't know.
You haven't met girls with excessive strong head

RavagedHeart:
I thought I was being nice, as I met her when she was nothing and she looked up to me for everything as a boyfriend and a brother.
It's just a pity we can't just love purely. I just realized that

SawD007:
You're not in tune with reality. Embrace the pain brother. That's the reality. Acknowledge she is gone and feel the pain as my h as you can. Then if you love close to where there is a beach or lake. Just go there and scream your pains out. That girl comes to your life to teach you a lesson which is WATCH OUT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HAPPINESS NOT IN DETRIMENT TO OTHERS BUT CHOOSE YOU

globalmart:
Well....time heals all wound..and your healing is in your hands..If you decide to move on you will..just find something that will keep u away from thinking .and whenever the thoughts come read ur Bible,watch movie, sleep...is better than having sex cos sex with women will keep reminding you of her..
Just know you can't turn back the hands of the clock..

RavagedHeart:
I know she's gone. It still hurts but I'm better now. The thing is that when deep depression hits, nothing makes you happy. Nothing at all, except the restoration or a perfect reversal of the cause.
It's a miracle I survived those 15 horrible months.

globalmart:
I understand your case clearly..I have been depressed before but that's not on relationship bases.... just always bear it in mind that what will be will be...And life challenges are just a normal process every man must go through to enhance..

you're getting old oo
Chai !! the wrinkles have started appearing albeit slowly
Why you come do mouth like person wey just suck prick

UyaiIncomparabl:
I'm sorry, but I don't believe your story. Too many hooks, line, and sinker tales have been everywhere on this site lately. And you need the maximum exposure, why exactly? Someone who's hurting would not even bother about the front page. All they would need at that time is to vent out their hurt/frustrations. What's the least advice you think you'd get that you already haven't known? Maybe, some bunch of self-acclaimed awakened NL dudes will call you a SIMP, poosy-ho nigga, weak man and whatever mumble-jumble they conjure out these days and what else? Force you into their red-pills cult at all cost and give you some red-pills nuggets to read.

You are only looking for sensational comments to thrive on. You know that kind of M v F gender thingy. It's not an anomaly, though, so I understand. I think it's time for me to start writing sensational stories too.

Just watch how the word "SIMP" will start flying around this thread.

RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirm it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the rain like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying for the heartbreak, she seemed very happy unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help my self. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday.


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

RavagedHeart:
Yeah. I did a lot of stuffs like that to lose steam and escape suicide. I also took long walks that helped me a lot, as I almost went mad.

pansophist:
You broke so many relationship rules, that it was inevitable for her to go.

1. Want, not need a woman. A man should be on his goal, mission, pursuing his purpose, career, or whatever seriously. A woman should complement and not be the sole purpose of your existence.

2. You think she was the "prize, while clearly, you were. I mean, you furnished her to a high standard, the pillar of her subsistence, the cornerstone of her metamorphosis, so how on earth can you be the one being dumped, instead of doing the dumping? You're basically persuading a burden and felt depressed because the burden wanna leave? Tufiakwa.

3. You sacrificed your own growth to pursue her, that was disastrous. This is related to number one. Seems your goal is her, to have the brightest, refined chick while ignoring your own self. The rule is that you have to keep becoming the best version of yourself.

Ever heard of hypergamy? Women do not date below dominance hierarchy, but above. The day your woman becomes better than you in anyways, the countdown to her departure as just begun. It may not be instant, but surely in the distant future.

4. Women by nature loose attractions for men that exhibit weakness. Begging her, being walked upon, and still sponsoring her while she ride with other ich men pronounced you as an epitome of a looser. How can she respect you when you do that? Any relationship you beg to keep, you will beg to sustain, which messes up the power dynamic and puts you at a disadvantage. And if she agrees to stay, you'll forever be disrespect.

I'll tell you a secret that has worked for me. NEVER APPEAL TO THE MORAL SENSE OF A WOMAN, OR YOUR SUPPOSED OPPRESSOR. Never has the oppressed gain his freedom by appealing to the moral sense of their oppressor. It never works. Negotiate from a position of strength, not weakness.

5. She has left since the first time she started behaving, you only got the announcement later. She had sex with you once in four months? Well, that's all you need to know that she was keeping you for your money. Woman are as Hot as men, some even argue that are hornier. A girl that loves you will fck you every day as much as you want it.

I blame you not, we live in a sad time as men. A time where fathers are not lecturing their sons and having a strong bond with them, to coexist well with women, understand them, and not be at a losing point. You've paid your price to knowledge, let it go, and become better.

RavagedHeart:
I have seen many calling me a simp. I may have been a voluntary simp for this particular girl, but I have not been a simp all my life.
Love caught me, everything was perfect and I gave in totally. It could happen to anyone, not only the simp.

argent412:
and they keep upgrading their simp version.