sofiscatedmoron:
Las las na penis go settle the matter

lol it happened

oldtruth:


What made him leave in the first place?
He left after convincing you keep the pregnancy So, he was really ready to stay with you?

You are still hiding so many things here. The way you present it, makes it looks like he abandoned you without looking back. So, how have you guys been communicating?

For you to seems confused, means there is more to all this.

My little cents...

He seems determined to turn himself to adult because of you which didn't worked for him. He sacrificed his life for you thinking he can maneuver things but it failed.

That youngman has a fighting spirit and it takes a responsible young lady to also appreciate that. If you feel anything bad about him, just tell him now and let him go.

One thing I am sure of is that, the young boy will definitely end up a great man.


F

Oh God will really bless you for this comment. That's exactly my stands.

He might be testing you by pretending not to have anything,for him to come back with nothing after 8 good years!! Not possible

Fearlez:
When we tell una say falling in love with your course mate or class mate no dey get future una no dey hear.

A boy in final year still has a long way to go in life , whereas a girl in year 2 is almost set.

hmmm

If by chance he makes money and gets on his feet, he will abandon you again and disappear. He is a parasite, run for your life. Ignore the folks here saying stories that touch, run him off!

pocohantas:


Oh it is, because this scene keeps replaying in reality. That is why if you go to churches, it is always one preaching or the other, teaching women how to ENDURE. In fact, the ultimate test of a virtuous Nigerian woman is how much bullshit you can endure for the longevity of a marriage. No one encourages men to take such bullshit from women, I for one have never seen. There is a new name for men who try such endurance - SIMP.

I don’t do religious hullabaloo, OP’s whatever he is, needs to fix his life. Nobody in the village is holding him. I don’t know your village, but no one is in mine currently. We only gather festive periods...




Many women are like that. That is why you see some with bad boys. It is not like they love bad boys, they are obsessed with being the woman who makes a bad boy good. Deluded creatures spending their youth and energy on the wrong man. Later they’ll start cry.

later they will say bad boys are charismatic

Thossiey:
You think its easy to suffer abi? Tell him to get a means to sustain him self first ooo and if you want to do the do with him as you are now Mummy to him go and do tests ooo to know if he doesn't have any STDs . And if they ave not use his destiny to pound soap. Are you sure their is no other lady somewhere with a child for him? Abeg too much questions. Where are his family self? You better think well if not you will just old and be looking after 2 children.

lol your mouth eee

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

No long story! Run!!!!!

This is really a critical situation that needs a calculative approach to avoid double wahala.
However, permitting him to live with you outrightly may not be the better approach, he alto be with his parents whether he come back with something or nothing at least for the moment.
For him to be together with you as he's currently doing means you have indirectly accepted him, and it's obvious that you will be in position to provide all and sundry for the time being, and such responsibility is not good for you at the moment.
Better for him to be with his parents while you concentrate on solving the quadratic equation at the table, he too will also have the full dose of time to think with his both internal and external memories on what next to do as a man to Savage and remedy the situation.
If he continues to live with you in this manner, I can assure you that more children will Soon follow with more responsibilities on you, while he will has little or nothing to contribute because he's yet to find his square roots, worst still, your marrital rights might be obliged. So Op reason and think fast to avert more injuries to the wounds. My simple submission though.

dingbang:
Let God bless you both.

Every child needs a father.

Every child need a good father. A bad father is worse than no father!

SegFault:
this is my number one problem with Nigerian women, lack of a strong resolve. If na me I go send you commot from my house, if you like take me to court, I will make sure I disgrace your stupid head. What nonsense? Some idiot, leaves me with a child and comes back as empty as kom kom and is telling me to accept him, if to say I be your brother I for beat am throw am commot.

i fear person wey no fear u

I am in pains reading this story! I must confess you are from a good family for even accepting to carry all the humiliation and rejection. He knew you are a good lady for him to come back and open up. If he had lied, he would use another lie to cover up.
Have you ask yourself these questions; where has he being all these while? Can we burry the hatchet? It could be that he truly loves you but the fear of looking at u helplessly in your agony threw fear into him! He could be restless after he left hoping he may make it big and return to you in a big way. It is not far from these. Babe, all these people claiming didn't put their foot wrong before ran series of abortions just to cover up the damn sh*t! Don't reject your man. I studied what you wrote. You knew he was nice to you. Show him that you re that shoulder to lean and not afraid to carry him.

The greatest joy is, that child is not a bastard! Watch, two of you can be very successful if you both decides. This nigga gonna respect you more than ever.
Finally, no matter what you are going through, he can't stay in your fam home. You guys should get an apartment and start life. Staying under your family will be a fatal mistake.
Dm me please.

Gee why so na?

Madam think well and seek God’ direction. Imagine a man who hv suffered and then nw realize that bfr suffer wld kill him let him come and hide under ur umbrella. He said he wants to marry u, he does not have a shelter of his own, he is sleeping in his (father inlaw to b’) house & eating their food, Haba which kind thing be that. This Na double wahala... he shld go and do d necessity first bfr he can come and ask for ur hand in marriage . He shld get a job no matter how small and he shld also get an accommodation no matter how small also. Otherwise bfr u say jack u will get pregnant again, then u start suffering with 2kids.
Think wisely, tell him U r ready but he has to put these two basic on ground. As for d sacrifice of school fee d man already saw himself as a drop
Out that was y he gave u his money for school fee.

Help him if you can but don't take him back for the sake of your peace of mind and sanity because the image of him being absent all these years will continually hunt you no matter how hard you try to forget.. You deserve better ... No responsible guy will abandon his child for 8 good years for any reason even soldiers at the war front try to reach out to their family when they can

Zzor:
Obviously you still want him,have him all you want if you care less about money and comfort and ready to add more burden to your already stressed life as you rightly put it ,what has he been doing since all these years he abandoned you thats what you should be most concerned about.You are not his mother,let him go and find solace abi wetin sef with his family,thats why I hate all this school love,i can't count stories of heartbreaks that I've heard and seen.If you are strong enough to carry him along,do so but if you know you don't have the capability,please tell him to go stay with his family first.hmmm I have been looking for stories like this to read here since,it is well madam op

spot on

He is just teasing you. OP means Original Poster referring to the individual who started the story thread.

AnonymousRebec:


Oh really. Thanks

padi94:
Whatever you choose to do is right, believe me, cos you alone will reap its outcome

I wish I can like this 1million times. Truest talk!

He tried may be he wanted to pull something surprising for you and his child. Everything he tried didn't workout for him. If he had made it he would still find you and his child just like he did. He is a man that wants to do something seriously without help from people around.

All that he fried failed him and he returned to you for him to try alternative. He wants to try fighting with you because he thinks fighting with you will make him win. Give him this chance and stay with him to fight together and he will win his fight and crown you as his queen. Forgive him and join him to fight.

Someone asked why I was not married all this while.

I've been trying to figure out my life and be a good mom to my son and not give any prospective husband unnecessary responsibility to carry.


It was all my fault I didn't allowed any relationship work out with me.

The school fees he gave me i stated wasn't the reason for him not graduating. It wasn't my fault that he couldn't graduate, because he sorted it out that semester and wrote his departmental exams as well. It was after I've left

franchasng:
To win in the battle of life, you must apply wisdom and smartness. Don't always use your emotion to follow life if not, you will live a regretful life.


Life need tough people. Most times it favors selfish people more. If you are not smart, tough and strongwilled, life will fvck you up big time!



My only problem is, why must a guy start to think of marriage when he has no means of livelihood It is wickedness and stupidity. Wickedness on the part of the innocent kids you intend to reproduce from that deadly marriage.

Don't gamble with your destiny. Don't gamble with life, don't start marriage hoping that marriage will bring good fortunes and riches your way, that was what Papa Basiru and Iya Sukira, Papa Emeka and Mama Nkechi believed when they married in 1972, but today, Papa Basiru is still struggling to change his slippers talk more of feed properly


That Laycon won BBN does not guarantee a bright future for him, he can still go broke because he only won a jackpot, he have no sustainable growing business or career aside the yeye music that is not predictable where it would land him tomorrow. So guys stop marrying hoping that marriage will bring you luck. Prepare yourself financially before you marry, at least for the sake of your unborn kids. If you can't make it, don't marry, enjoy your single life and have fun alone.


I love kids so so much that I can't ever stand seeing kids hungry or unkempt or crying because of a need, it breaks my heart.


Dear young men, please pity your future kids, if you cannot fix your financial life to a certain level, biko don't marry, don't impregnate any girl. Use condom during sex, it is not difficult. Condom will save you from so many troubles of life. Don't say you don't enjoy it with condom, it's a lie...put your mind to the game and enjoy the sight of your woman and you will enjoy it with condom. Stop fvcking without condom please!!


And you ladies once you know you and a guy are in a room alone and in a tight corner and your instinct tells you that this guy will fvck you at the end, please swallow your useless pride and tell him point blank to get a condom or no sex. Stop pretending not to want to be fvcked until the guy stylishly and persuasively insert his dick into your wet pussy.....stop pretending, you know he will fvck you, please beg him to get a condom please!!

Dminister:
He tried may be he wanted to pull something surprising for you and his child. Everything he tried didn't workout for him. If he had made it he would still find you and his child just like he did. He is a man that wants to do something seriously without help from people around.

All that he fried failed him and he returned to you for him to try alternative. He wants to try fighting with you because he thinks fighting with you will make him win. Give him this chance and stay with him to fight together and he will win his fight and crown you as his queen. Forgive him and join him to fight.

Great

I think you are dreaming don't you have families that can warn and advise you on this? Believe once bitten twice shy so there's no man in the world you can have relationship with? History is going to repeat itself he left you when you are pregnant and he would do that again and abandon you. How do you know he doesn't have anything. Be careful and don't give him a chance. That happened to my woman friend the man abandon him and her boy for 10 years and ran away with another woman he came back using charm to impregnate her the man aged father like 80 years prostrated for the woman. He signed an agreement that he would be taking care of her. 3 months later he reneged on his promise thank God she didn't give hime second chance. It is the case of another man that a wise person learn from according to Yoruba adage don't fall into this trap please

Jamean:
My thoughts exactly. If it were the other way round you'd be hearing curse words flying around.

Help him ko, build him ni. What a joke! The poster should not just enter Express sha.

you women like justaposing issues instead of looking for way forward. I dont blame you people. Its not your fault

Tell him to hit the road jack, and don't come back no more

1StopRudeness:


They told to him to go a bring a lady he has slept with for money rituals..don’t fall for his crocodile tears and his remorseful pretense....
u don’t need him... uve been fine without him for close to a decade..


My sister......... japa!!!!!!!

baba this thing wey u talk remind me of kanayo

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

Take him to a good God believing church and see if God will locate him to get delivered from spirit of failure at the edge of breakthrough. Then, monitor his behaviour first before taking further action, assuming he hammer, do you think he will come back for the two of you all these years? U need to answer that question.
Lastly,he wants marriage but don't have a job or business,how does he want to achieve that? He should start something first and build from there before initiating marriage, as he can see Ur boy is doing well,he needs to work more now

dingbang:
Let God bless you both.

Every child needs a father.

Stop it pls...... How will a man impregnate a lady and elope only to return after eight solid years to tell them stories. Some men are without conscience! No matter how good he was to her, that single act alone has destroyed everything. If he had stayed with the lady and take responsibility i am sure that his life would have been more better.

OP please has your son be going to school, who has been paying his fees, clothing him and feeding him? This guy in question does not need education to make money if he is the humble type.

Desperate time calls for desperate measures! No matter what he tells you now without proof of nothing just know he's up for another game. Tell him to simply get himself together as a man b4 he comes back to you. It might hurt you, you may stay up crying for sending him away but trust me thats the formula to keep him in check.

Women don't know the power they have over men. Don't fall prey for his cheap gimmicks! Cos twill hurt you bad. For crying out loud he should at least have a workable plan readily available to move you guys forward and not playing the pity party game. My sister listen to your brothers if they're grown to understand situations like this or your mom and try to evaluate the situation b4 u make ur final decision. May God help you through this amen

Lead him to getting his own means of livelihood. A must. Don't do sex again. You don't want to make the same mistake again. This is a sober period.. Let it be so in all ramifications. Serious hours. Serious time. No room for I can't do that kind of job. He must earn his own living.
I am saying all this because you still love him. And I like that. Now, don't be soft. Be hard so that he can really take care of you.

Osobi32:
Stop it pls...... How will a man impregnate a lady and elope only to return after eight solid years to tell them stories. Some men are without conscience! No matter how good he was to her, that single act alone has destroyed everything. If he had stayed with the lady and take responsibility i am sure that his life would have been more better.

You are not giving him the opportunity for repentance. Everybody deserves that to move forward after backwardness.

Forgive him... And settle down with him... There is nothing inside this Life.. av seen everything.. is just a matter of time.. the body you are carrying is just a casing... Plz forgive and make him happy.. ignore what others will say.. only you can give your self happiness..

Read Mark 11:25

Jahadist stay clear..