₦airaland Forum

superlightning:
madam this is not yaba left.... neither is this a place for male bashing....a hard-working man can't suddenly stop being hardworking....he is depressed! forget his posturing he is depressed!

You sound so vindictive....na your type dey lazy pass

CHoccolaTE:
Oga dont blame women for men being jobless, those women who "took all the jobs" are good at what they do it's not because they have big boobs, I don't know why it's so hard for males to agree that women can do anything better than them, men better get jobs and provide for their families instead of blaming women for their laziness.

When it's time to boss women around men will remember how bible said wife must submit but when it's time to provide they start making all sorts of excuses and blaming women.

ecomalchemist:
A great percentage got in through the back door, if you know...you know.

9 - 5 worker during the day, olosho at night.

ecomalchemist:
Oh, by the way...you sound like a misandrist.

tunjilana:
Men need to stop marrying women who can't and wont support them when they are down

His only crime when he had money was not carrying u along(which is wrong really) but u never said he didn't take care of you!!!

All along when he had funds, you should have bn thinking of how to make the household strongly double incomed. You could have tot of good businesses to do so that in times like this it will be easy for the family till he gets back up

How long as he depended on u compared to how long u depended on him. Dont overthink his dependence, it is a phase that will pass. Dont do something u will regret cos when u leave, God will increase him and he will bring in another woman only for u to start slandering

The child u want to leave behind, who will take care of the child?

Men, pls marry women who have it at the back of their mind that u can and will have financial lows and has made up their mind to be there when u are down. Such women also prepare for days like this by being empowered and dont hesitate to empower such a woman once u are sure her heart is made of gold

CHoccolaTE:
Oga, this is not beer parlor neither is it a place where your fellow male scammers gather, everyone knows majority of Nigerian men also depend on their wives for upkeep but they will come online to brag and tell lies.

If you no like my posts. Jump and pass them next time, I didn't address you anywhere Mr oversabi observer.

Chinnybaby190:
After going through some comments here, I have a second thought. If this is really depression, I don't want to add more to him emmotionally. I will stand by him.

Please can you help him with a job if you have the power?
He can learn easily, intelligent, very detailed and hard-working.
Please can you carry him along if you can?
We are really going through so much, me in particular.

NoToPile:
I strongly agree with the bolded, when they walk the walk then they can talk the talk. Its easy to criticize and say all sorts when one is not in that situation. I am also yet to see that man that can wear that shoe.

The OP has a right to be very upset but the solution is not running away.

Chinnybaby190:
After going through some comments here, I have a second thought. If this is really depression, I don't want to add more to him emmotionally. I will stand by him.

Please can you help him with a job if you have the power?
He can learn easily, intelligent, very detailed and hard-working.
Please can you carry him along if you can?
We are really going through so much, me in particular.

Chinnybaby190:
Any job would do please

amalder:
pray a woman never feed you, for only one week in your whole life time.

Brachaa:
Hmm..
I'm going to be very very blunt here.

In as much as I do not support his non-chalant attitude towards his employment status, I think you'r being inconsiderate and irrational in your decision to want to quit this marriage because of a phase you're going through.

When he still got his bearing and was taking a "wrong" decision from his family, why didn't you quit then? Prolly because the money was still there. Now, the money is gone, you want to quit?? No way! Marriage is for better for worse. This is the time to go on your knees as a help meet and pray to God to bring you out of the mess you find yourselves. Not to abandon him.

We all know the situation of the country and how the system favors the female folk more than the males when it comes to getting a job. So, you can't really say your hubby is comfortable in his present condition. Should he kill himself? At least you knew him before now that he was a hard working man. Why see him now as a loser due to circumstances beyond him? Who's not facing the current heat postpandemic? Free him abeg!

What do you people even mean when you say you love that someone? You think marriage is all about when the going is good, you stay or for the riches? Marriage is all about SACRIFICES!! . Anyone who cannot sacrifice their last penny, comfort, choices, pride, temper and ego for their spouse should not think of going into marriage!

This clearly shows why you went into that marriage in the first place. SMH

Chinnybaby190:
No one to help with a job?

majamajic:
Someone was asking for location , u didn't reply on this page , just above

bukatyne:
@Bold:

How was the OP supposed to achieve that when the husband never carried her along?

You cannot reap what you do not sow; it is a universal principle anywhere.

If the OP's husband wanted joint financial planning, he would have involved her in the very beginning so they plan:

Where I talk of 'Nigerian' marriages in jest, it is things like this. 'Nigerians' don't know jack about the basics of marriage/ know and don't think their spouses are worth it yet somehow wants to reap the benefits of what they have NOT done.

'Can two walk together except they are agreed?'

Una carry go.

Chinnybaby190:
[left][/left]Sorry for late response.
We're in Abuja
He's Computer literate, effective in sales and marketing, Data entry and analysis,
He's a fast learner, he can catch up new things, if undergoes short training

mariahAngel:
I'm loving your "new" views

You're beginning to understand the plight of most women better and empathize with them more.

bukatyne:
Mariangeles,

I don't have any new views and most of my threads/ 'views' are tailored to help women live better lives from the bottom up. I don't treat the symptoms but the cause.

I also comment on issues per thread. If men start complaining about their wives again or wives bring stories where they are at fault, I will dissect the issues accordingly.

mariahAngel:
They weren't always that way...

I remember when I newly started frequenting the family section, I came across some of your threads and views, I was so shocked at how very insensitive (no offense meant) they were.

mariahAngel:
I'm loving your "new" views

You're beginning to understand the plight of most women better and empathize with them more.

Munzy14:
The moment a lady stand out here, others will start attacking her and pummel her to adjust by force...


That's how I spot the objective minded ladies here, they're easily attacked by fellow ladies... lol

Munzy14:
The moment a lady stand out here, others will start attacking her and pummel her to adjust by force...


That's how I spot the objective minded ladies here, they're easily attacked by fellow ladies... lol

Chinnybaby190:
I have to create this accounts to post this.
I want to leave my husband and our child behind. I want a divorce. I'm tired of the whole thing.

When the money was there, he only told me his plan after he, his elder brothers, mother have discussd and taken decision.
After he made wrong decision, investment and lost everything, all his family members have left. Even his mother has given up on us. They see him now as my husband and my responsibility.

He took another little step and set up a betnija business which his brother was managing. Finnally, it's down.

Since his bet9ja business crumbled, he has been totally dependent on me. I basically foot everything in the house down to data and recharge card on his phone. The annoying part is that he no longer make effort to look for any job again.
This man is intelligent, hard working but just of a sudden, I don't understand what is happening to him.
His fighting spirit has died. He takes anything now. No pride, no ego.

I don't ever believe that one day my husband will be comfortably eating, watching movies and feel no shame in other people's house.

For more than 2 weeks now, we packed all our belongings to my Aunt's house because our rent expired.
We practically stays here now, the whole thing is driving me crazy. I'm managing a small job with little salary, but he has nothing to contribute and he seems not borderd.

How can we stay here, eating their food and he's not feeling remores anymore.
I've been giving him attitude since 3days now. I'm so exhausted in this marriage.

Please help. What should I do?

More experienced people in the house, please advise me as your daughter, sister, friend.


Modified

After going through some comments here, I have a second thought. If this is really depression, I don't want to add more to him emmotionally. I will stand by him.

Please can you help him with a job if you have the power?
He can learn easily, intelligent, very detailed and hard-working.
Please can you carry him along if you can?
We are really going through so much, me in particular.

mariahAngel:
Ask yourself this question: why would almost alllllllllllllll the women on one platform seem to be against that one same person almost all the time?
Is it that the women are all bad or lack sense of being objective and that one person is the only objective one?

Chinnybaby190:
But I've always been there for them.
I'm already fed up

Munzy14:
One observation av noticed here is, their is a low key gender war.... And any gender that doesn't align to theirs get dragged.. Especially of the female gender.


Again, I recalled on BB thread in the first week, a lady gave an honest opinion about Erica, the way some ladies descended on her eeh... But as we progressed, every single thing she said happened..

Munzy14:
If you are fed up, you can take the door way, so he can pick himself up and look for a way forward..


I have a feeling their must be a reason why he kept his financial deals away from u, men do that when the have a woman who doesn't expand money rather squanders.

I have two married friends, One his wife is very economical despite the abundance, guess what all his business, he handed financial aspects to her... Most of his business decision are done in his bedroom, before he relate to his workforce.


Now, the other friend has a wife who renders money useless, squandering things...He established a 3.8M business for the wife, yet she couldn't come up with good profit at the end of the year, she still calls my friend to fuel her car, repair Minor faults.. All her siblings saw her as ATM machine... Well, my friend took away her car when she knock the engine, kept all his financial transactions moving forward, away from her...

Now spot the difference between the two wives.


Again, sometimes some men can be so daft, with keeping family close to their business.. That can backfire... Especially people who have no idea on making money.