| Re: . by CHoccolaTE: 8:36am On Oct 02, 2020 |
superlightning:
madam this is not yaba left.... neither is this a place for male bashing....a hard-working man can't suddenly stop being hardworking....he is depressed! forget his posturing he is depressed!
You sound so vindictive....na your type dey lazy pass Oga, this is not beer parlor neither is it a place where your fellow male scammers gather, everyone knows majority of Nigerian men also depend on their wives for upkeep but they will come online to brag and tell lies. If you no like my posts. Jump and pass them next time, I didn't address you anywhere Mr oversabi observer. 1 Like |
| Re: . by ecomalchemist(m): 9:07am On Oct 02, 2020 |
CHoccolaTE:
Oga dont blame women for men being jobless, those women who "took all the jobs" are good at what they do it's not because they have big boobs, I don't know why it's so hard for males to agree that women can do anything better than them, men better get jobs and provide for their families instead of blaming women for their laziness.
When it's time to boss women around men will remember how bible said wife must submit but when it's time to provide they start making all sorts of excuses and blaming women. A great percentage got in through the back door via big gods, if you know...you know. 9 - 5 worker during the day, olosho at night. Oh, by the way...you sound like a misandrist. |
| Re: . by CHoccolaTE: 9:08am On Oct 02, 2020 |
ecomalchemist:
A great percentage got in through the back door, if you know...you know.
9 - 5 worker during the day, olosho at night. Yeah yeah, many Nigerians buy jobs or get in with nepotism/connections it's not a woman thing abeg |
| Re: . by CHoccolaTE: 9:09am On Oct 02, 2020 |
ecomalchemist:
Oh, by the way...you sound like a misandrist. Hahahaha  Okay |
| Re: . by bukatyne(f): 9:13am On Oct 02, 2020 |
tunjilana:
Men need to stop marrying women who can't and wont support them when they are down
His only crime when he had money was not carrying u along(which is wrong really) but u never said he didn't take care of you!!!
All along when he had funds, you should have bn thinking of how to make the household strongly double incomed. You could have tot of good businesses to do so that in times like this it will be easy for the family till he gets back up
How long as he depended on u compared to how long u depended on him. Dont overthink his dependence, it is a phase that will pass. Dont do something u will regret cos when u leave, God will increase him and he will bring in another woman only for u to start slandering
The child u want to leave behind, who will take care of the child?
Men, pls marry women who have it at the back of their mind that u can and will have financial lows and has made up their mind to be there when u are down. Such women also prepare for days like this by being empowered and dont hesitate to empower such a woman once u are sure her heart is made of gold @Bold: How was the OP supposed to achieve that when the husband never carried her along? You cannot reap what you do not sow; it is a universal principle anywhere. If the OP's husband wanted joint financial planning, he would have involved her in the very beginning so they plan: Where I talk of 'Nigerian' marriages in jest, it is things like this. 'Nigerians' don't know jack about the basics of marriage/ know and don't think their spouses are worth it yet somehow wants to reap the benefits of what they have NOT done. 'Can two walk together except they are agreed?' Una carry go. 1 Like |
| Re: . by superlightning: 9:14am On Oct 02, 2020 |
CHoccolaTE:
Oga, this is not beer parlor neither is it a place where your fellow male scammers gather, everyone knows majority of Nigerian men also depend on their wives for upkeep but they will come online to brag and tell lies.
If you no like my posts. Jump and pass them next time, I didn't address you anywhere Mr oversabi observer. chai.... I know it "pains" you so much..... Anyway, you simply confirmed what I have stated earlier. 
|
| Re: . by bukatyne(f): 9:18am On Oct 02, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190:
After going through some comments here, I have a second thought. If this is really depression, I don't want to add more to him emmotionally. I will stand by him.
Please can you help him with a job if you have the power?
He can learn easily, intelligent, very detailed and hard-working.
Please can you carry him along if you can?
We are really going through so much, me in particular. Now we are talking. This too shall pass.  *e-hugs* |
| Re: . by bukatyne(f): 9:23am On Oct 02, 2020 |
NoToPile:
I strongly agree with the bolded, when they walk the walk then they can talk the talk. Its easy to criticize and say all sorts when one is not in that situation. I am also yet to see that man that can wear that shoe.
The OP has a right to be very upset but the solution is not running away. 100% Luckily, she is soliciting for jobs for him. |
| Re: . by Dainy1(m): 1:14pm On Oct 02, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190:
After going through some comments here, I have a second thought. If this is really depression, I don't want to add more to him emmotionally. I will stand by him.
Please can you help him with a job if you have the power?
He can learn easily, intelligent, very detailed and hard-working.
Please can you carry him along if you can?
We are really going through so much, me in particular. Now you're talking. Channel all your efforts in getting him a job. Once he's back on his feet, he will treasure you forever. He's aware of what you're going through. Every reasonable man do |
| Re: . by Nobody: 7:44pm On Oct 02, 2020 |
. |
| Re: . by flyingpig: 9:14pm On Oct 02, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190:
Any job would do please where do you guys stay? What skills does he have? |
| Re: . by flyingpig: 9:16pm On Oct 02, 2020 |
amalder:
pray a woman never feed you, for only one week in your whole life time. Guy one week is too much for a woman to feed you 1 Like |
| Re: . by flyingpig: 9:22pm On Oct 02, 2020 |
Brachaa:
Hmm..
I'm going to be very very blunt here.
In as much as I do not support his non-chalant attitude towards his employment status, I think you'r being inconsiderate and irrational in your decision to want to quit this marriage because of a phase you're going through.
When he still got his bearing and was taking a "wrong" decision from his family, why didn't you quit then? Prolly because the money was still there. Now, the money is gone, you want to quit?? No way! Marriage is for better for worse. This is the time to go on your knees as a help meet and pray to God to bring you out of the mess you find yourselves. Not to abandon him.
We all know the situation of the country and how the system favors the female folk more than the males when it comes to getting a job. So, you can't really say your hubby is comfortable in his present condition. Should he kill himself? At least you knew him before now that he was a hard working man. Why see him now as a loser due to circumstances beyond him? Who's not facing the current heat postpandemic? Free him abeg!
What do you people even mean when you say you love that someone? You think marriage is all about when the going is good, you stay or for the riches? Marriage is all about SACRIFICES!! . Anyone who cannot sacrifice their last penny, comfort, choices, pride, temper and ego for their spouse should not think of going into marriage!
This clearly shows why you went into that marriage in the first place. SMH Thank you very much. 1 Like |
| Re: . by Nobody: 7:06pm On Oct 03, 2020 |
No one to help with a job? |
| Re: . by majamajic(m): 3:59am On Oct 04, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190:
No one to help with a job? Someone was asking for location , u didn't reply on this page , just above |
| Re: . by Nobody: 6:27am On Oct 04, 2020 |
. |
| Re: . by Nobody: 6:28am On Oct 04, 2020 |
majamajic:
Someone was asking for location , u didn't reply on this page , just above I just responded. |
| Re: . by Nobody: 8:55pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
. |
| Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 9:29pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
bukatyne:
@Bold:
How was the OP supposed to achieve that when the husband never carried her along?
You cannot reap what you do not sow; it is a universal principle anywhere.
If the OP's husband wanted joint financial planning, he would have involved her in the very beginning so they plan:
Where I talk of 'Nigerian' marriages in jest, it is things like this. 'Nigerians' don't know jack about the basics of marriage/ know and don't think their spouses are worth it yet somehow wants to reap the benefits of what they have NOT done.
'Can two walk together except they are agreed?'
Una carry go.
I'm loving your "new" views  You're beginning to understand the plight of most women better and empathize with them more. 1 Like |
| Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 9:33pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190:
[left][/left]Sorry for late response.
We're in Abuja
He's Computer literate, effective in sales and marketing, Data entry and analysis,
He's a fast learner, he can catch up new things, if undergoes short training How about you? What do you want for yourself? Do you have any skill(s)? |
| Re: . by bukatyne(f): 9:35pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
mariahAngel:
I'm loving your "new" views
You're beginning to understand the plight of most women better and empathize with them more. Mariangeles, I don't have any new views and most of my threads/ 'views' are tailored to help women live better lives from the bottom up. I don't treat the symptoms but the cause. I also comment on issues per thread. If men start complaining about their wives again or wives bring stories where they are at fault, I will dissect the issues accordingly. |
| Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 9:44pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
bukatyne:
Mariangeles,
I don't have any new views and most of my threads/ 'views' are tailored to help women live better lives from the bottom up. I don't treat the symptoms but the cause.
I also comment on issues per thread. If men start complaining about their wives again or wives bring stories where they are at fault, I will dissect the issues accordingly. They weren't always that way... I remember when I newly started frequenting the family section, I came across some of your threads and views, I was so shocked at how very insensitive (no offense meant) they were towards women. 3 Likes |
| Re: . by bukatyne(f): 9:48pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
mariahAngel:
They weren't always that way...
I remember when I newly started frequenting the family section, I came across some of your threads and views, I was so shocked at how very insensitive (no offense meant) they were. Wait till tomorrow and same scenario plays out itself. No offense taken. 1 Like |
| Re: . by Munzy14(m): 9:57pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
mariahAngel:
I'm loving your "new" views
You're beginning to understand the plight of most women better and empathize with them more. The moment a lady stand out here, others will start attacking her and pummel her to adjust by force... That's how I spot the objective minded ladies here, they're easily attacked by fellow ladies... lol 
|
| Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 10:03pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
Munzy14:
The moment a lady stand out here, others will start attacking her and pummel her to adjust by force...
That's how I spot the objective minded ladies here, they're easily attacked by fellow ladies... lol Most guys see insensitivity as being objective To tell you the honest truth, there are so many things about women most men don't understand and women understand and accept that, but coming from a woman, it can be very very hurtful, especially for the victim involved. 1 Like |
| Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 10:08pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
Munzy14:
The moment a lady stand out here, others will start attacking her and pummel her to adjust by force...
That's how I spot the objective minded ladies here, they're easily attacked by fellow ladies... lol Ask yourself this question: why would almost alllllllllllllll the women on one platform seem to be against that one same person almost all the time? Is it that the women are all bad or lack sense of being objective and that one person is the only objective one? 1 Like |
| Re: . by Janosky: 10:36pm On Oct 04, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190:
I have to create this accounts to post this.
I want to leave my husband and our child behind. I want a divorce. I'm tired of the whole thing.
When the money was there, he only told me his plan after he, his elder brothers, mother have discussd and taken decision.
After he made wrong decision, investment and lost everything, all his family members have left. Even his mother has given up on us. They see him now as my husband and my responsibility.
He took another little step and set up a betnija business which his brother was managing. Finnally, it's down.
Since his bet9ja business crumbled, he has been totally dependent on me. I basically foot everything in the house down to data and recharge card on his phone. The annoying part is that he no longer make effort to look for any job again.
This man is intelligent, hard working but just of a sudden, I don't understand what is happening to him.
His fighting spirit has died. He takes anything now. No pride, no ego.
I don't ever believe that one day my husband will be comfortably eating, watching movies and feel no shame in other people's house.
For more than 2 weeks now, we packed all our belongings to my Aunt's house because our rent expired.
We practically stays here now, the whole thing is driving me crazy. I'm managing a small job with little salary, but he has nothing to contribute and he seems not borderd.
How can we stay here, eating their food and he's not feeling remores anymore.
I've been giving him attitude since 3days now. I'm so exhausted in this marriage.
Please help. What should I do?
More experienced people in the house, please advise me as your daughter, sister, friend.
Modified
After going through some comments here, I have a second thought. If this is really depression, I don't want to add more to him emmotionally. I will stand by him.
Please can you help him with a job if you have the power?
He can learn easily, intelligent, very detailed and hard-working.
Please can you carry him along if you can?
We are really going through so much, me in particular. If everything you wrote it's true, maybe household enemies follow kwa.. It's not time to give up, OP. Nourish your mind with God's word and PRAY for his deliverance and divine mercy/guidance to prevail in your family matters. Matthew 15:13 Hebrew 4:12,16. Isaiah 3:10-11. Psalm 121-124. Number 23:19 Yahweh ha Elohim can NOT lie. You and hubby must join hands to build your home. You are one flesh. You must set up good communication to get it right |
| Re: . by Munzy14(m): 6:18am On Oct 05, 2020 |
mariahAngel:
Ask yourself this question: why would almost alllllllllllllll the women on one platform seem to be against that one same person almost all the time?
Is it that the women are all bad or lack sense of being objective and that one person is the only objective one? One observation av noticed here is, their is a low key gender war.... And any gender that doesn't align to theirs get dragged.. Especially of the female gender. Again, I recalled on BB thread in the first week, a lady gave an honest opinion about Erica, the way some ladies descended on her eeh... But as we progressed, every single thing she said happened.. |
| Re: . by Nobody: 6:42am On Oct 05, 2020 |
Na wao |
| Re: . by Munzy14(m): 6:56am On Oct 05, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190:
But I've always been there for them.
I'm already fed up If you are fed up, you can take the door way, so he can pick himself up and look for a way forward.. I have a feeling their must be a reason why he kept his financial deals away from u, men do that when the have a woman who doesn't expand money rather squanders. I have two married friends, One his wife is very economical despite the abundance, guess what all his business, he handed financial aspects to her... Most of his business decision are done in his bedroom, before he relate to his workforce. Now, the other friend has a wife who renders money useless, squandering things...He established a 3.8M business for the wife, yet she couldn't come up with good profit at the end of the year, she still calls my friend to fuel her car, repair Minor faults.. All her siblings saw her as ATM machine... Well, my friend took away her car when she knock the engine, kept all his financial transactions moving forward, away from her... Now spot the difference between the two wives. Again, sometimes some men can be so daft, with keeping family close to their business.. That can backfire... Especially people who have no idea on making money. |
| Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 10:05am On Oct 05, 2020 |
Munzy14:
One observation av noticed here is, their is a low key gender war.... And any gender that doesn't align to theirs get dragged.. Especially of the female gender.
Again, I recalled on BB thread in the first week, a lady gave an honest opinion about Erica, the way some ladies descended on her eeh... But as we progressed, every single thing she said happened.. Good morning. Happy new week. |
| Re: . by mariahAngel(f): 10:06am On Oct 05, 2020 |
Munzy14:
If you are fed up, you can take the door way, so he can pick himself up and look for a way forward..
I have a feeling their must be a reason why he kept his financial deals away from u, men do that when the have a woman who doesn't expand money rather squanders.
I have two married friends, One his wife is very economical despite the abundance, guess what all his business, he handed financial aspects to her... Most of his business decision are done in his bedroom, before he relate to his workforce.
Now, the other friend has a wife who renders money useless, squandering things...He established a 3.8M business for the wife, yet she couldn't come up with good profit at the end of the year, she still calls my friend to fuel her car, repair Minor faults.. All her siblings saw her as ATM machine... Well, my friend took away her car when she knock the engine, kept all his financial transactions moving forward, away from her...
Now spot the difference between the two wives.
Again, sometimes some men can be so daft, with keeping family close to their business.. That can backfire... Especially people who have no idea on making money. Iwe! |
