₦airaland Forum

Originalsly:
Bro.... she was living a lie with you. Was she right or wrong to do so? You are now living a lie with your parents and her parents and her daughter. Is that the right thing to do? Like with her and the child.... the same will happen to you.... whatever is hidden in the dark will one day come to light. Cancel the wedding... but you can still have a relationship with the child. Your fiancee was sleeping with her mate.... then reporting to sleep with you. I hope you don't believe that has stopped.

I have seen your point and it makes more sense.

flyingpig:
Look, if you want this to sail smoothly then everybody has got to come out clean. How do I mean? Open the window, let the smoke out from the kitchen.



SHOW THE LITTLE GIRL'S GRANDFATHER THE DNA TEST FOR HIM TO SEE YOU WERE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHILD. HE CAN TAKE YOU BOTH TO HIS RELIABLE HOSPITAL TO RE-CONDUCT THE TEST. ALSO SHOW THE TEST RESULT TO YOUR OWN FAMILY SO THEY CAN STOP LIVING IN FOOL'S PARADISE.

AFTER THE REALIZATION AND THE STORM CALMS DOWN. YOU AND THE GIRL CAN GO ON SELF-ASSESSMENT TO ASSESS IF YOU CAN STILL CONTINUE WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE PLANS. BECAUSE FOR ALL WE KNOW IT MAY EVEN COLLAPSE AFTER ALL THIS REALIZATIONS BECAUSE HER PARENTS NO LONGER SEE HER SAME WAY AGAIN.

I would keep you updated. I'm supposed to start by this month. But I would march down to her parents place.

gigante:
All of you telling him to quit the girl and forego the job are lowkey wereys. Do you know what Oil job means. And some jobless 18 year olds are busy telling you to leave the potential millions from the oil job because of an unfaithful girl.

Omo, secure that job first, Nigeria is hard oh, don't go and lose a golden ticket because of some infidelity issue.

Instead, after securing the job, you can then leave if you still wish to. As for now, prioritise that job over anything.

Don't say i didn't warn you.

Money can't buy happiness oh. And mind of peace.

Op, you need to come clean and let the father be aware and you can still marry her if you want a better future for yourself......but please do the needful asap

Vanzetti:
I would keep you updated. I'm supposed to start by this month. But I would march down to her parents place.

Fantastic

Iyoocartel:
Iyooooooo cartel

You're just more like the broke version of ozo. A girl brought pregnancy to you and you foolishly accepted even when you had your doubts.
You were not scared of turning her down because of her Dad, you were only after her father's money and connections as a top oil worker, now they have stupidly tied you down with marriage and it's now obvious to you that no money is forthcoming your eyes are now fully open.
If only you were a certified gee you should have requested for a DNA immediately the girl was born but her papa money don cover your eyes.
Better end that union right now and save yourself the stress, she's not your daughter and she's never going to be. The real dad no matter how useless and unconcerned he's right now when he comes for his daughter even if it takes 50 years he's still going to have more advantage over you!

K

Skmoda360:
Op, you need to come clean and let the father be aware and you can still marry her if you want a better future for yourself......but please do the needful asap

I have decided to make it known to the father. I still dont know what to do. Let it be that I refuse to tell them because if my selfish interest, which is not so.

I am still open to more contributions. I am beginning to analyze a lot if things from different point of view.

My guy,

Everyone has made mistakes of being fooled cos of love even those that are insulting u now. No reason am.

Now, to the matter at hand, if u love the girl and u wanna wife her, do so as someone who is marrying a single mom.

But, the parents should know that u r marrying their daughter out of love for her and the child and not sympathy or threats or even the job opportunity.

From now on, I suggest u get busy doing the work of getting her pregnant, this time, carrying your baby.

Have it in mind that the past might come calling anytime in the future. Be ready.

My two cents though.

DonEd:
My guy,

Everyone has made mistakes of being fooled cos of love even those that are insulting u now. No reason am.

Now, to the matter at hand, if u love the girl and u wanna wife her, do so as someone who is marrying a single mom.

But, the parents should know that u r marrying their daughter out of love for her and the child and not sympathy or threats or even the job opportunity.

From now on, I suggest u get busy doing the work of getting her pregnant, this time, carrying your baby.

Have it in mind that the past might come calling anytime in the future. Be ready.

My two cents though.

Thanks so much. That's my plan. I still love her having stayed all this years.
I will let them know. I will take it as a marriage to a single mom. She claims she loves me too.
I spoke to my sister who is only aware and she told me that I have gone too far to back out.
Tomorrow I would battle on moving on and trying to patch up. The other guy or anyone can come up who didn't even face as much as I have.. If I claim to love her. I should do so.
My sister opined so above.

If the child was a male that’s where yull bother yourself, if you can live comfortably with her the child doesn’t add up.

Vanzetti:
Thanks so much. That's my plan. I still love her having stayed all this years.
I will let them know. I will take it as a marriage to a single mom. She claims she loves me too.
I spoke to my sister who is only aware and she told me that I have gone too far to back out.
Tomorrow I would battle on moving on and trying to patch up. The other guy or anyone can come up who didn't even face as much as I have.. If I claim to love her. I should do so.
My sister opined so above.

One love. Good luck

Vanzetti:
My mistake just realised.

so was your plan now, you don't have to allow the work slip you by. But since the baby is a girl bruh nothing spoil before 25 she would have been married. Play along man that's my brotherly advice

Vanzetti:
I would make this short as possible .I met my girlfriend when I was in my 300 level. I am her first. I met her when she was 18 years old, seeking admission. She is young and beautiful no doubt one of the reasons I'm attracted to her.

She gained admission in unilag because the school I studied in didn't offer the course she wanted. She gained admission that year I met her I had known her for about 8 months already. I was already in my 400 level as she resumed 100 level. We had asexual relationship also ( I deflowered her tho..)

She got pregnant for me when I was in my in my final year in school. It happened as she came back from school, she decided to drop at my place to spend the night. I never knew she was going to that and I was not prepared, if not I could have used protection that night.She called me after like 1 month to tell me she was pregnant. I love this girl so much.
She came to my place begging me not to deny her saying her elder sister also got pregnant for someone but was denied this made her parents mad. Her father had threatened that she must provide who was responsible. I later agreed and I followed her. The father (he is very rich' a senior oil worker) had promised to deal with me if I end up leaving his daughter after my schooling.

He had informed my parents and traveled down tho.. Arrangements were made that I would wife his daughter.
I had doubts that I was the father all those while but I couldn't voice out. On several occasions when I was on my IT in Lagos, this girl would deny me visit after work but prefers to visit me at her own time. My work was not far from yaba o, either she visits me at home or I only come at night claiming she is busy.

Even when I was in school I dont do night calls. Even decline video calls. As per guy wey I be, I sabi say bodi no be firewood cos I was also doing some outings on my own end.
I stay in Lagos too so I understand the rush in unilag especially for year 1 considering her beauty and nice body.

FFWD she gave birth to a girl tho. I just had to accept it but still had my doubts. I could not even tell my mom because she knew of our relationship and might tag me stupid. I had made it in mind after my schooling I would do a DNA test.

I saved some money after service and I could have gotten married this year. I took my daughter which I had already lived secretly to the hospital when I was sick claiming that I wanted her to accompany me. My daughter is already 4 years.
The result came out and she is not mine. I ran the test in another hospital same result. I confronted her and she was in tears, she told me that she was confused and didn't know who the father was, that I was the better option. She had a boyfriend in Unilag who was about 18 years and the sane level with her. She had sex with him before coming back and landed in my place and also had with me. She was ignorant.
Her father threatened her that she most provide the person and there us no where for her to go because I was close by. And she thought u should be the one..she wasn't sure.

The bone of contention here is I already like my daughter and my girlfriend though I'm still very bad. But i have been with her after most if the times after she had given birth. She is in her fathers house.
The father has plans already and I to start work at Mobil in Eket. Following arrangements to marry his daughter he has only two girls and doesn't want them to carry children both without fathers .
I still dont know what to do, should I cancel everything and tell the father? considering the trauma I faced as a students and inconveniences I had while in school.
Will she be a faithful person in future? Will she use it against me?
Do I get her pregnant and speed up with the marriage procedures?
I dont want to regret at the end. My mother won't like it if she knows that the girl is not mine and won't consider her as her grandchild.

Modified: I appreciate your contributions as I am beginning to analyze a lot.

Some friends here and outside has adviced me that I should make it open to the family. If I want to marry her because she left school after pregnancy then I can go ahead and get married to her as someone who gets married to someone with a child already.

She has been on my neck since... She says shee was young and naive that she loves me more. I had been with her all this while. She told me tgat we can have other children also.
I have asked her of the father, she says she doesn't know of his whereabouts anymore. That she never even knew the paternity and thought I'm the one.

My daughter on the other hand loves me so much and my mother likes her a lot.
I still love her tho.. Even tho I had my doubts.
I had already packed to resume work this month.

I'm still confused.

Op, Ur Story Get K-Leg Oo. U Said U Deflowered Her, She Got Pregnant 4 U. How Come D Pregnancy Is Not Urs? Or Did U Use C.D?

Truvel:
Op, Ur Story Get K-Leg Oo. U Said U Deflowered Her, She Got Pregnant 4 U. How Come Ur D Pregnancy Is Not Urs? Or Did U Use C.D?

I was the one hu deflowered her. Read properly, we dated before she wemt to school. I did not use protection, when she came back from school.
She called me then that she was pregnant for me. I later found out it is not mine.
Case solved or answered.
I used" pregnant for me" then because j thought it was mine.

Listen and listen very carefully.....

1. It is time for you to be a man; by standing on the truth. Let all family involve know the truth.

2. The truth will earn you respect from her father that you are not a sissy cos he is giving you a good job in Mobile, and it will make him understand that it is love for the girl child and her daughter that will make u marry not becos of his threat or job..

Do this now or regret the rest of your life.. by keeping it a secret and marrying her..

Jah wings you

flyingpig:
Look, if you want this to sail smoothly then everybody has got to come out clean. How do I mean? Open the window, let the smoke out from the kitchen.



SHOW THE LITTLE GIRL'S GRANDFATHER THE DNA TEST FOR HIM TO SEE YOU WERE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHILD. HE CAN TAKE YOU BOTH TO HIS RELIABLE HOSPITAL TO RE-CONDUCT THE TEST. ALSO SHOW THE TEST RESULT TO YOUR OWN FAMILY SO THEY CAN STOP LIVING IN FOOL'S PARADISE.

AFTER THE REALIZATION AND THE STORM CALMS DOWN. YOU AND THE GIRL CAN GO ON SELF-ASSESSMENT TO ASSESS IF YOU CAN STILL CONTINUE WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE PLANS. BECAUSE FOR ALL WE KNOW IT MAY EVEN COLLAPSE AFTER ALL THIS REALIZATIONS BECAUSE HER PARENTS NO LONGER SEE HER SAME WAY AGAIN.

The best advice so far, OP abeg do the needful.

Op. With all sincerity, I want you to calm down take your time. Speak to the father as it is, tell her that you want the best for everyone.

The child has known you for 4 years, if you claim you love her, tell the family let them no your stance.
Since the man has only two daughters and want comfortable life for his daughter. He would accept it.
Remember you've gone far and the lafy cannot start father hunting or bringing a new msn into the life of the child.
You have been present from day one. You both love yourselves, get married. She would bare you much children. Precisely you don't even know what your first issue might be, it could be a boy.

The lord is your strength. Clear yourself and still go ahead.
The father only wants the best for his daughters, no rich man without a son but only daughters would want to frustrate you. Knowing fully well the stigmatization his peers would give him for his only two daughters having children out of wedlock with no father.

He is only trying to make her comfortable. He wants you to take responsibility that is why he us giving you a job.

You have gone to far. What If you leave her tomorrow, someone comes who didn't even pass through the emotional trauma you passed through comes and wife her up.

People sought for riches in different places, some go as far as marrying an older woman or marrying foreigners.
Just get married. Thank God it's s girl. Once you get your own children. There is nothing anybody can do about it.

Vanzetti:
I was the one hu deflowered her. Read properly, we dated before she wemt to school. I did not use protection, when she came back from school.
She called me then that she was pregnant for me. I later found out it is not mine.
Case solved or answered.
I used" pregnant for me" then because j thought it was mine.

Alright, I Would Advise Dat U Clear D Air Abt It. Let D Cat Abi Na Rat Self, Out Of D Bag. Let Her Parents & Ur Parents Know Dat U Are Not D Father Of D Girl Child.

if u love her...marry her and take care of the kid

If I were in your shoes , this is what I will do
1. Immediately the DNA results came out, I will call her to explain . If she give me the same explanation that you wrote up there.

Then I will calm down and make everything secret between us. Besides people adopt children, so no big deal in this cos the real biological father doesn’t even know that he has a daughter.

2. Breaking up with her will affect many things in your life now, you will start afresh. She was naive and had sex with her course mate and I have not seen where u have mentioned again that she have cheated on you since your dating.

You will ruin that little girls life

Accept her and move on

....

Homeboiy:
If I were in your shoes , this is what I will do
1. Immediately the DNA results came out, I will call her to explain . If she give me the same explanation that you wrote up there.

Then I will calm down and make everything secret between us. Besides people adopt children, so no big deal in this cos the real biological father doesn’t even know that he has a daughter.

2. Breaking up with her will affect many things in your life now, you will start afresh. She was naive and had sex with her course mate and I have not seen where u have mentioned again that she have cheated on you since your dating.

You will ruin that little girls life

Accept her and move on

I explained everything to her bro.. After the DNA test. You can go back and read properly the ending part. She was the first person I confronted.

deli nwa mama

Damitism:
Well, to each his own. For me, I will rather not marry and remain single than settle down with this type of lady. We are talking of the rest of my life with an unfaithful lady. No, I won't sign up for that.

All the best to you OP in making the best decision for yourself.

Ubunja, come and see something.

I have spoken to so many people. Some came with the notion that women still cheats at one time in life. I may get married to one. At the end of the day, she might even get pregnant outside.

Some Gave me the instances of how they discovered one of their children aren't theirs. I mean this was someone who got married to his wife without any children from wedlock.

Vanzetti:
I explained everything to her bro.. After the DNA test. You can go back and read properly the ending part. She was the first person I confronted.

Well I know you have already chosen the advice that you want here


Go ahead and do what’s on your mind

But apply wisdom

Vanzetti:
I would make this short as possible .I met my girlfriend when I was in my 300 level. I am her first. I met her when she was 18 years old, seeking admission. She is young and beautiful no doubt one of the reasons I'm attracted to her.

She gained admission in unilag because the school I studied in didn't offer the course she wanted. She gained admission that year I met her I had known her for about 8 months already. I was already in my 400 level as she resumed 100 level. We had asexual relationship also ( I deflowered her tho..)

She got pregnant for me when I was in my in my final year in school. It happened as she came back from school, she decided to drop at my place to spend the night. I never knew she was going to that and I was not prepared, if not I could have used protection that night.She called me after like 1 month to tell me she was pregnant. I love this girl so much.
She came to my place begging me not to deny her saying her elder sister also got pregnant for someone but was denied this made her parents mad. Her father had threatened that she must provide who was responsible. I later agreed and I followed her. The father (he is very rich' a senior oil worker) had promised to deal with me if I end up leaving his daughter after my schooling.

He had informed my parents and traveled down tho.. Arrangements were made that I would wife his daughter.
I had doubts that I was the father all those while but I couldn't voice out. On several occasions when I was on my IT in Lagos, this girl would deny me visit after work but prefers to visit me at her own time. My work was not far from yaba o, either she visits me at home or I only come at night claiming she is busy.

Even when I was in school I dont do night calls. Even decline video calls. As per guy wey I be, I sabi say bodi no be firewood cos I was also doing some outings on my own end.
I stay in Lagos too so I understand the rush in unilag especially for year 1 considering her beauty and nice body.

FFWD she gave birth to a girl tho. I just had to accept it but still had my doubts. I could not even tell my mom because she knew of our relationship and might tag me stupid. I had made it in mind after my schooling I would do a DNA test.

I saved some money after service and I could have gotten married this year. I took my daughter which I had already lived secretly to the hospital when I was sick claiming that I wanted her to accompany me. My daughter is already 4 years.
The result came out and she is not mine. I ran the test in another hospital same result. I confronted her and she was in tears, she told me that she was confused and didn't know who the father was, that I was the better option. She had a boyfriend in Unilag who was about 18 years and the sane level with her. She had sex with him before coming back and landed in my place and also had with me. She was ignorant.
Her father threatened her that she most provide the person and there us no where for her to go because I was close by. And she thought u should be the one..she wasn't sure.

The bone of contention here is I already like my daughter and my girlfriend though I'm still very bad. But i have been with her after most if the times after she had given birth. She is in her fathers house.
The father has plans already and I to start work at Mobil in Eket. Following arrangements to marry his daughter he has only two girls and doesn't want them to carry children both without fathers .
I still dont know what to do, should I cancel everything and tell the father? considering the trauma I faced as a students and inconveniences I had while in school.
Will she be a faithful person in future? Will she use it against me?
Do I get her pregnant and speed up with the marriage procedures?
I dont want to regret at the end. My mother won't like it if she knows that the girl is not mine and won't consider her as her grandchild.

Modified: I appreciate your contributions as I am beginning to analyze a lot.

Some friends here and outside has adviced me that I should make it open to the family. If I want to marry her because she left school after pregnancy then I can go ahead and get married to her as someone who gets married to someone with a child already.

She has been on my neck since... She says shee was young and naive that she loves me more. I had been with her all this while. She told me tgat we can have other children also.
I have asked her of the father, she says she doesn't know of his whereabouts anymore. That she never even knew the paternity and thought I'm the one.

My daughter on the other hand loves me so much and my mother likes her a lot.
I still love her tho.. Even tho I had my doubts.
I had already packed to resume work this month.

I'm still confused.

if I'm you bring up this discussion with her and record it oncode before you marry her if not after marriage she fit deny m oi ... just get the employment first before you start solomonizing about other women ... if there wer mistakes and the results showed u wer her father u wud still be living happily with a lie ... so bro don't think too much .

This is very tough.. you need a lot of wisdom in handling this. Your father in law to be thinks he has one over you. I feel you should present this case to hola s diplomatically as possible, with the intent not to leave his daughter since you truly love her. Tell him it's a secret between you both and you don't want your babe to know about it cos you really want to be with her. At least you get some leverage in the marriage if it turns positive but if it backfires no worries bro, you lost nothing. Maybe it was never yours. Don't go into that marriage without any bargaining power as you may end up a slave.
May God guide you bro
Cheers

Vanzetti:
I would make this short as possible .I met my girlfriend when I was in my 300 level. I am her first. I met her when she was 18 years old, seeking admission. She is young and beautiful no doubt one of the reasons I'm attracted to her.

She gained admission in unilag because the school I studied in didn't offer the course she wanted. She gained admission that year I met her I had known her for about 8 months already. I was already in my 400 level as she resumed 100 level. We had asexual relationship also ( I deflowered her tho..)

She got pregnant for me when I was in my in my final year in school. It happened as she came back from school, she decided to drop at my place to spend the night. I never knew she was going to that and I was not prepared, if not I could have used protection that night.She called me after like 1 month to tell me she was pregnant. I love this girl so much.
She came to my place begging me not to deny her saying her elder sister also got pregnant for someone but was denied this made her parents mad. Her father had threatened that she must provide who was responsible. I later agreed and I followed her. The father (he is very rich' a senior oil worker) had promised to deal with me if I end up leaving his daughter after my schooling.

He had informed my parents and traveled down tho.. Arrangements were made that I would wife his daughter.
I had doubts that I was the father all those while but I couldn't voice out. On several occasions when I was on my IT in Lagos, this girl would deny me visit after work but prefers to visit me at her own time. My work was not far from yaba o, either she visits me at home or I only come at night claiming she is busy.

Even when I was in school I dont do night calls. Even decline video calls. As per guy wey I be, I sabi say bodi no be firewood cos I was also doing some outings on my own end.
I stay in Lagos too so I understand the rush in unilag especially for year 1 considering her beauty and nice body.

FFWD she gave birth to a girl tho. I just had to accept it but still had my doubts. I could not even tell my mom because she knew of our relationship and might tag me stupid. I had made it in mind after my schooling I would do a DNA test.

I saved some money after service and I could have gotten married this year. I took my daughter which I had already lived secretly to the hospital when I was sick claiming that I wanted her to accompany me. My daughter is already 4 years.
The result came out and she is not mine. I ran the test in another hospital same result. I confronted her and she was in tears, she told me that she was confused and didn't know who the father was, that I was the better option. She had a boyfriend in Unilag who was about 18 years and the sane level with her. She had sex with him before coming back and landed in my place and also had with me. She was ignorant.
Her father threatened her that she most provide the person and there us no where for her to go because I was close by. And she thought u should be the one..she wasn't sure.

The bone of contention here is I already like my daughter and my girlfriend though I'm still very bad. But i have been with her after most if the times after she had given birth. She is in her fathers house.
The father has plans already and I to start work at Mobil in Eket. Following arrangements to marry his daughter he has only two girls and doesn't want them to carry children both without fathers .
I still dont know what to do, should I cancel everything and tell the father? considering the trauma I faced as a students and inconveniences I had while in school.
Will she be a faithful person in future? Will she use it against me?
Do I get her pregnant and speed up with the marriage procedures?
I dont want to regret at the end. My mother won't like it if she knows that the girl is not mine and won't consider her as her grandchild.

Modified: I appreciate your contributions as I am beginning to analyze a lot.

Some friends here and outside has adviced me that I should make it open to the family. If I want to marry her because she left school after pregnancy then I can go ahead and get married to her as someone who gets married to someone with a child already.

She has been on my neck since... She says shee was young and naive that she loves me more. I had been with her all this while. She told me tgat we can have other children also.
I have asked her of the father, she says she doesn't know of his whereabouts anymore. That she never even knew the paternity and thought I'm the one.

My daughter on the other hand loves me so much and my mother likes her a lot.
I[b] still love her tho.. Even tho I had my doubts[/b].
I had already packed to resume work this month.

I'm still confused.

Your last paragraph, you're definitely not confuse, you're just not mentally, emotionally prepared to make the right choice.
The most difficult men to point out there foolishness to, even when it's staring them in the eyes are men in love.

Lots of red flags, but then, being blinded my emotions, and not ready to see through the said lady's manipulations and games, advising you is likened to pouring water in a basket, technically, a waste of time.

One thing I'm certain of,is that you're not ready for genuine advice sir and not prepared to embrace the harsh reality .

You're more concerned about how she feels
Was she concerned about how you would feel when she was fucking and sucking the d*ck of other guy(s)
She even brought baby home during her d*vk sucking journey and you're still confuse on what to do
Got no respect for weaklings, neither does she!
Your mummy would be dissapointed she got to raise such a pussy as a son!
No apology man !

SeniorGee:
This is very tough.. you need a lot of wisdom in handling this. Your father in law to be thinks he has one over you. I feel you should present this case to hola s diplomatically as possible, with the intent not to leave his daughter since you truly love her. Tell him it's a secret between you both and you don't want your babe to know about it cos you really want to be with her. At least you get some leverage in the marriage if it turns positive but if it backfires no worries bro, you lost nothing. Maybe it was never yours. Don't go into that marriage without any bargaining power as you may end up a slave.
May God guide you bro
Cheers

OK let me understand you. My gf knows already, her dad I'm planning on telling him but I would do that very soon.
The babes ( gf and her daughter)I like her so much after spending time with them all these years.
I just want to key the man know, maybe it won't be as if he is doing me a favor.
Pregnancy or not, I could have still been with her.

I'm just trying to weigh the options in my life. I dont even know how my mom would feel about it. Already my sis is cool ( I explained to someone already).

I am thinking man. But j would certainly tell the father.

GLYCOLYSISS:
Your last paragraph, you're definitely not confuse, you're just not mentally, emotionally prepared to make the right choice.
The most difficult men to point out there foolishness to, even when it's staring them in the eyes are men in love.

Lots of red flags, but then, being blinded my emotions, and not ready to see through the said lady's manipulations and games, advising you is likened to pouring water in a basket, technically, a waste of time.

One thing I'm certain of,is that you're not ready for genuine advice sir and not prepared to embrace the harsh reality .

You're more concerned about how she feels
Was she concerned about how you would feel when she was fucking and sucking the d*ck of other guy(s)
She even brought baby home during her d*vk sucking journey and you're still confuse on what to do
Got no respect for weaklings, neither does she!
Your mummy would be dissapointed she got to raise such a pussy as a son!
No apology man !

You've said so much without saying anything.
Life is more than what you think man. Decisions are being made.
If I don't feel a thing about her or don't give a Bleep. I can use the exit button.

Foolishness you may say... It is wise for one to think rationally and someone to provide rational advice.

It would only be easier for a man to have done that which you said without thinking if there id no iota of love existed in the first place.

The human mind is more wired than just being redpill... You feel anyone is a LovePeddler. You can get married tomorrow and your LovePeddler Wifey still brings a child for you to father.

GLYCOLYSISS:
Your last paragraph, you're definitely not confuse, you're just not mentally, emotionally prepared to make the right choice.
The most difficult men to point out there foolishness to, even when it's staring them in the eyes are men in love.

Lots of red flags, but then, being blinded my emotions, and not ready to see through the said lady's manipulations and games, advising you is likened to pouring water in a basket, technically, a waste of time.

One thing I'm certain of,is that you're not ready for genuine advice sir and not prepared to embrace the harsh reality .

You're more concerned about how she feels
Was she concerned about how you would feel when she was fucking and sucking the d*ck of other guy(s)
She even brought baby home during her d*vk sucking journey and you're still confuse on what to do
Got no respect for weaklings, neither does she!
Your mummy would be dissapointed she got to raise such a pussy as a son!
No apology man !

The last paragraph you quote 'I had already packed to resume work this month' clearly States I had packed my things waiting yo resume before the result showed up.

That's why I'm thinking of backing out or not.