₦airaland Forum

ladywealth:
Good evening my NL guys.

I just met a guy last month ending, we exchanged numbers and started chatting. He asked me out.. I really enjoyed chatting with him, just him alone. So few days after, he invited me to his house. I declined but I noticed that he stopped chatting with me.

Few days after, he asked about my genotype without even greeting me. I counter questioned him and he attacked me, claiming that he is not happy with me. I replied that 'I don't care'.
The next thing I received was rains of insults. Saying that I insulted him. I admitted and we settled it.

For the short times I've known him, I could see the kind of qualities I want in a man. But the problem he has and that he attested to is verbal abuse...

I noticed that anytime he invites me to his house and I declined, it always piss him off and he stops talking to me.
I decided not to visit him because it's not safe for me.

He argues over little things on chat, he talks to me like I'm a baby ( he is 33 and I'm 22). he is domineering... I'm just confused on the decision to date him considering all these flaws. I am suspicious of him being violent.
thanks

choose ur destiny!!
if @d end of the day u want to b a bitter woman who has had a share of whatever....choose it as the signs appear. just close ur eyes to them and only choose to see the little vain attractions.
whether ud b treated as a queen or as a sloth. ...it's urs to choose baby. if a man has habits like snoring or some other attitudes then u know no one is perfect. ...but if he insults u or attacks u or crave after ur physical presence so much as to sex b4 authority. ... then u r an innocent lamb looking for whom to slaughter u.
I believe @22 u should have or be working on urself. If u had a high sense of sekf esteem then we r not supposed to have this post from u here on NL

He is d tiger with d aggressive and hungry personality while u are one mere and clueless sheep...

borrow legs run � � you're still thinking and asking questions. Abi you no like your life?

Omo last last na me dei reason say na Bleep up to date babe wei u senior wit 10years

22years n u still don't know eats best for u

thank you for replying her kindly.

iRepNaija1:
OP, please don't pursue this. You're not even in a relationship with him and you two are already arguing, regardless of who is right or wrong. That's red flag number one. Red flag number two is that he wants you to come to his house only after a few days of talking. That's concerning because a) you should be meeting someone you don't know well in a public place, b) he should want to meet you in a public place for a meet-up or date, or c) he just wants sex. If you just want sex, then cool. But since you've declined his first offer, I don't think that's what you're going for. The third red flag is that he insulted you. From what you said, you told him, "I don't care." Is that an insult? To me, it's not because you did not criticize his person or his family. (Remember, critique the action, not the person). Could your response have been said in a better way? Maybe but you were straightforward. If he's willing to do this and you two have just started talking, imagine what could happen if you were dating or in a serious relationship.

He's just trying to test your limits to see how much B.S. he can get away with and how much B.S. you can tolerate. At 22, you're an adult but you're also much younger than him and he's seeing if he can take advantage of your possible lack of experience in dating. The fact that you're on NL may indicate to me you're still interested in him despite these red flags because if you weren't, I know you would've not continued talking with him.

I think you should really let this man go. It just sounds like wahala. You're young and there will be so many other men. When a man likes you and wants to spend time with you, you won't have to question it, you won't be on NL asking for advice from strangers. He will treat you like royalty and handle you like glass. You will never have to second-guess his feelings for you or his motives. Good luck.

If u know what is good for u, u beta pick ur loggage and vanish, dont say i did not warn u.

ayusco85:
If u can't give someone good advice just keep quite. Which type of advice is this? Who made this quote?

I am Sorry sir!, But that's just my opinion, you can ignore it if you don't like it...

Fourwinds:
not this type of flaws.... If the guy is the type that doesn't know to tidy up his corner, such flaw is understandable.... Nonsense everywhere

Okay, I guess the kind of love I was talking about doesn't exist in Nigeria...
But all flaws shouldn't be accepted shaaa

ayusco85:
If u can't give someone good advice just keep quite. Which type of advice is this? Who made this quote?

Sorry sir, but that's just my opinion, you can leave it if you don't like it...

NairaMaster1:
The worst advice ever.

Violence and abuse are not flaws to be accepted in love sir.

I won't ask anyone to accept unnecessarily Violence or abuse in any relationship

AnanseK:
Including violence?

I guess not

AnanseK:
Including violence?

I didn't said so

iRepNaija1:
OP, please don't pursue this. You're not even in a relationship with him and you two are already arguing, regardless of who is right or wrong. That's red flag number one. Red flag number two is that he wants you to come to his house only after a few days of talking. That's concerning because a) you should be meeting someone you don't know well in a public place, b) he should want to meet you in a public place for a meet-up or date, or c) he just wants sex. If you just want sex, then cool. But since you've declined his first offer, I don't think that's what you're going for. The third red flag is that he insulted you. From what you said, you told him, "I don't care." Is that an insult? To me, it's not because you did not criticize his person or his family. (Remember, critique the action, not the person). Could your response have been said in a better way? Maybe but you were straightforward. If he's willing to do this and you two have just started talking, imagine what could happen if you were dating or in a serious relationship.

He's just trying to test your limits to see how much B.S. he can get away with and how much B.S. you can tolerate. At 22, you're an adult but you're also much younger than him and he's seeing if he can take advantage of your possible lack of experience in dating. The fact that you're on NL may indicate to me you're still interested in him despite these red flags because if you weren't, I know you would've not continued talking with him.

I think you should really let this man go. It just sounds like wahala. You're young and there will be so many other men. When a man likes you and wants to spend time with you, you won't have to question it, you won't be on NL asking for advice from strangers. He will treat you like royalty and handle you like glass. You will never have to second-guess his feelings for you or his motives. Good luck.

Very spot on... The guy obviously just wants to chop and clean mouth but babe is seeing husband material... It will end in tears op...sorry to say!

ladywealth:
Good evening my NL guys.

I just met a guy last month ending, we exchanged numbers and started chatting. He asked me out.. I really enjoyed chatting with him, just him alone. So few days after, he invited me to his house. I declined but I noticed that he stopped chatting with me.

Few days after, he asked about my genotype without even greeting me. I counter questioned him and he attacked me, claiming that he is not happy with me. I replied that 'I don't care'.
The next thing I received was rains of insults. Saying that I insulted him. I admitted and we settled it.

For the short times I've known him, I could see the kind of qualities I want in a man. But the problem he has and that he attested to is verbal abuse...

I noticed that anytime he invites me to his house and I declined, it always piss him off and he stops talking to me.
I decided not to visit him because it's not safe for me.

He argues over little things on chat, he talks to me like I'm a baby ( he is 33 and I'm 22). he is domineering... I'm just confused on the decision to date him considering all these flaws. I am suspicious of him being violent.
thanks

You're welcome

ladywealth:
I see nothing bad in posting here. we are in it together. I feel the pain too. I came out too... Carry your bad energy go..so just pass it's not a must you say something.okay?

He lacks self control.

MejiLoyon:
Date him so he will beat sense into you. Because you don't have any sense. Nigeria is in pains they are killing people for you to live safe you're thinking and talking about a boy. I won't say what's on my mind but I hope you will feel it

stfu.
Don't force her to talk about SARS. We all have our personal problems.

Ladywealth, stay away from him. If you can change him, then stick with him.

ladywealth:
For the short times I've known him, I could see the kind of qualities I want in a man. But the problem he has and that he attested to is verbal abuse...

He has money!

ladywealth:
Good evening my NL guys.

I just met a guy last month ending, we exchanged numbers and started chatting. He asked me out.. I really enjoyed chatting with him, just him alone. So few days after, he invited me to his house. I declined but I noticed that he stopped chatting with me.

Few days after, he asked about my genotype without even greeting me. I counter questioned him and he attacked me, claiming that he is not happy with me. I replied that 'I don't care'.
The next thing I received was rains of insults. Saying that I insulted him. I admitted and we settled it.

For the short times I've known him, I could see the kind of qualities I want in a man. But the problem he has and that he attested to is verbal abuse...

I noticed that anytime he invites me to his house and I declined, it always piss him off and he stops talking to me.
I decided not to visit him because it's not safe for me.

He argues over little things on chat, he talks to me like I'm a baby ( he is 33 and I'm 22). he is domineering... I'm just confused on the decision to date him considering all these flaws. I am suspicious of him being violent.
thanks

His domineering nature is what is attracting you to him, you have to live with it or dump him if you cant, dont say nobody told you. If he is stinkenly rich, you will enjoy him after all but if he is broke or goes broke along the line, you will suffer. Check his good side and bad sides, weigh the two options and decide for yourself. Women who lives with such men are mixed character type of women. In igbo, we call them Ajagirigwe. You have to be strong and soft at the same time, hot headed and cool headed at the same time. Challenge him when neccessary and submit when neccessary but note that you have to always allow him to win. Such guys are fun to be with and same time misery when there is no money. However, if he is an illiterate, run for your life.

Xoly:
Love is not all about understanding each other's love languages. Love is accepting his/her flaws....

Please don't be deceived
Love is truly understanding but it shouldn't be on major things of concern that can break marriage.

If you can't find comfort in such before marriage and pretend you're understanding, you're heading to a marriage that'll have a accident soonest.

Please, I am not swearing o and I am not in position to decide what will happen in someone's life.

It may and may not be as I have spoken but that is my honest opinion.

Decryptor:
He has money!

I don't know if he has money and I have never received a dime from him.
I have blocked his number, cos even the chat we had this morning made me cleared the whole thing. I don't think he is alright. He flare up over little things. He got angry because I didn't respond on time. He is not normal.
I only posted it to hear your opinions on this issue. I saw the red flags too, but I believe this is a place we can express and admonish ourselves

thanks so much guys for your polite responses.
God bless
#EndSARS
#EndBADGOVERNANCE
#PRAYFORNIGERIA

ladywealth:
Good evening my NL guys.

I just met a guy last month ending, we exchanged numbers and started chatting. He asked me out.. I really enjoyed chatting with him, just him alone. So few days after, he invited me to his house. I declined but I noticed that he stopped chatting with me.

Few days after, he asked about my genotype without even greeting me. I counter questioned him and he attacked me, claiming that he is not happy with me. I replied that 'I don't care'.
The next thing I received was rains of insults. Saying that I insulted him. I admitted and we settled it.

For the short times I've known him, I could see the kind of qualities I want in a man. But the problem he has and that he attested to is verbal abuse...

I noticed that anytime he invites me to his house and I declined, it always piss him off and he stops talking to me.
I decided not to visit him because it's not safe for me.

He argues over little things on chat, he talks to me like I'm a baby ( he is 33 and I'm 22). he is domineering... I'm just confused on the decision to date him considering all these flaws. I am suspicious of him being violent.
thanks

I pity u o. So you are seeing signs u are still confused. Ngwanu continue

ladywealth:
I don't know if he has money and I have never received a dime from him.
I have blocked his number, cos even the chat we had this morning made me cleared the whole thing. I don't think he is alright. He flare up over little things. He got angry because I didn't respond on time. He is not normal.
I only posted it to hear your opinions on this issue. I saw the red flags too, but I believe this is a place we can express and admonish ourselves

thanks so much guys for your polite responses.
God bless
#EndSARS
#EndBADGOVERNANCE
#PRAYFORNIGERIA

Very big red flag! He is a toxic and egocentric person! Run away fast like you are already doing

Lexusgs430:
He is inviting you over, because he wants to taste your snail and feel your mangoro's ............................

He is 10 years older, so he would want to treat you like his younger sister.......... Run for your life, from verbal abuse, it slowly graduates to physical abuse ................

He is 11yrs older

dont try it.
verbal abuse can make u feel worthless

ladywealth:
Good evening my NL guys.

I just met a guy last month ending, we exchanged numbers and started chatting. He asked me out.. I really enjoyed chatting with him, just him alone. So few days after, he invited me to his house. I declined but I noticed that he stopped chatting with me.

Few days after, he asked about my genotype without even greeting me. I counter questioned him and he attacked me, claiming that he is not happy with me. I replied that 'I don't care'.
The next thing I received was rains of insults. Saying that I insulted him. I admitted and we settled it.

For the short times I've known him, I could see the kind of qualities I want in a man. But the problem he has and that he attested to is verbal abuse...

I noticed that anytime he invites me to his house and I declined, it always piss him off and he stops talking to me.
I decided not to visit him because it's not safe for me.

He argues over little things on chat, he talks to me like I'm a baby ( he is 33 and I'm 22). he is domineering... I'm just confused on the decision to date him considering all these flaws. I am suspicious of him being violent.
thanks

Can't defend his insults,

BUTTTT!!!

For most guys, dominance is a sincere sign of seriousness!!

Any guy that isn't dominant probably is not committed!!

zynzyn:
Can't defend his insults,

BUTTTT!!!

For most guys, dominance is a sincere sign of seriousness!!

Any guy that isn't dominant probably is not committed!!

he flares up unnecessarily. he apologizes thou but it's always after he had made things worse. that's when he apologize. I don run

Crownstar01:
OP, you are really a funny young lady. It takes two to tango anyway.

what do you mean?

Dybala11:
Irrespective of all the qualities he might seem to possess, never put up with an abusive/violent partner, never put up with a partner who always believed that he's always right. Love alone is not enough to build a good relationship, trust, mutual respect, humility, compromise are few of the things needed to build a healthy/good relationship. I bet that the man always find it hard to apologise/say sorry whenever you guys have arguments, very bad character that is.
But then, who am I to pass judgement when I've not even heard the other side of the story?
One of the common relationship mistakes we do make is that we are often trying to be with the right/better person only, but we don't often strive to be the right/better person ourselves, else the endless cycle of bad relationship experiences among us.

he apologizes after letting his anger get the best of him. he gets angry over little things

Jessica57:
I once went through same,he sometimes try to raise his hands on me whenever he gets upset,tells me to stay way from just the 2 friends I have,he feels he knows what's best for me, na so I japa... If I eat without him problem,I don't kiss home wahala...I can't die cos of a man ooo.#endsars#endswat#endbadgovt.

I've blocked him. he is toxic jare

Dre183:
At 22

Common small like girl, go and face your book before u will get married and u will be turn to punching bag

Wait let me ask u

Is it that u don't have sense?

Are you normal?

Or ur village people just decided to suffer you?

Or all of the above?

you are mad. do you know me? you better stop talking nonsense.

hmmmm.......so much has been said but the bobo wants to settle down but you're are lagging behind in commitment. Guys that go verbal don't do physical and vice-versa.

My dear, w@'s the fuse about being in a relationship with this person?
You admit that he's quite an abusive man, wld advice u to save urself the stress based on my experience.... Read about Passive- Aggressive behavior.... I have lived with my bf for 6yrs with this same attitude.
Give ursef brain baby.