₦airaland Forum

Decimus:
No, perhaps he felt she must have made some harvest. Or perhaps encountered some of this "send me your pictures and let me credit your account" people

Obviously you're seeing now how he's an opportunist.

If he jakpad, he should have continued running

.

Sixfeetbelle:
Despite all the talks going on here, no guy has been able to tell me why he's back after ghosting her because of a perceived 2k?

Is he now buoyant enough to give her the 2k?

There's no question of urgent 2k, it's just mere assumption. Well niqqur is back and he already explained why he blanked out without notice.

purples25:
We need emotional care and not necessarily cash. He could have asked:

- why haven't you eaten?
-hope there's no issue?

That will be as good and comforting as money.

You guys are too bland emotionally. Even if you dont have money, why fear to ask what the matter is? If you don't have money will she kill you? Did she ask you? Don't assume in a relationship, it causes issues.

Everything is not about money.

No amount of emotional care can cure hunger.
He need not ask again, since he already had an inkling of what the issue might be.

She needed the money/food and the guy couldn't come through for her at that particular time, then
as usual for most girls, she started giving him attitude, thinking that would force his hands.

Michdaf:
Sincerely I didn't ghost her. I was going through a lot and we didn't just communicate. I don't know if you have been in situation where you just want keep things to yourself

Relationships don't work like that. If you have problems, you let the other person know, not ghost them. She told you she was having issues with her business, yes, so why couldn't you tell her about your problems as well. Instead you ghosted her, thus prompting her to think that's why you left. Imagine yourself in her shoes and tell me what you would have thought.



I think both of you should find other people.

I find it childish asking someone over the phone if they've eaten.


Weird

Rutheby:
In your next relationship, 'have you eaten?' shouldn't be a question you should always ask.
Be cautious on how you care for people.

oh, next relationship? you mean this one is gone?

CalliDora1:
My grievance is, why did he ghost me when I didn't pressure him to do anything for me against his wish. It made feel like he didn't want to associate with a "failure" and God knows I'm not and will never be a failure.

Please pick my calls.

My dear, at least now you know who he truly is and you know the next thing to do is to cut him off..but confront him first about it and hear what he has to say about it..this year has truly been crazy, the last thing you need in your life is unnecessary drama..

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Some men self their matter can cause cattarrh,them go just dey fall our hand mtscheeeeew.

Ekemeze:
Why the dafuq are explaining things to idiots here. ?

BTW, is your destiny tied to her? if she ghost u. why not move on huh? damn! is she the only woman on earth? does all these make any sense to u?

Looks like the chap is SLOW.

Raalsalghul:
Matter don cast!

Pocohantas was right all along.

To avoid her billing, he ghosted her. I agree with that decision as well.

But I have a question. Why is he now back? Is he now financially buoyant to feed her?

Bola146:
I have met a lot of guys in Angel's image and I have met some useless, insane, kids, lazy guys here on nairaland, so I'm not surprised. I think he is looking forward to know much about you financially and materially. Just don't expose all your life to him, he is a pretender looking for sugar mummy ( they are many here especially those kids ) he knew you couldn't be hungry , just play along with him.

How do get to contact persons Privately here?, does this forum provide that Avenue ?

Michdaf:
Please pick my calls.

Wtf man. Why are you guys enabling these ladies' awful attitudes?

Ekemeze:
Why the dafuq are explaining things to idiots here. ?

BTW, is your destiny tied to her? if she ghost u. why not move on huh? damn! is she the only woman on earth? does all these make any sense to u?

Is not like my destiny is tied to her, she is a very nice lady. Forget everything people are talking about her. After I sorted myself out, I thought she would be angry with me( which she have every right to) and won't want to talk to me again, that was why it was up to this moment.

Sixfeetbelle:
To avoid her billing, he ghosted her. I agree with that decision as well.

But I have a question. Why is he now back? Is he now financially buoyant to feed her?

My dear, help me ask all of them o. Why is he back?

CalliDora1:
My dear. @bolded is my thoughts because he resumed the question this morning again.

Sugar what?.. this person I'm telling you is a MAN as in very mature guy and from all indications he's not a play boy. But why he pulled that stunt at the last minute was what got me upset and worried.

I'm thinking whether to download all he did to him and how I see it or just block him.

I don't want to appear wicked or rude but my interest is no longer there.

Good evening, It was a pathetic situation but i must tell you the truth, you are matured and can handle issues by not insulting nor being rude. Deep down in his heart, he is feeling uneasy about the twist of things but can't confront you. The only mistake you made is generalizing that all Men (Nairalanders) are the same and like him. I will advice you not to abuse him but since you don't want him again, tell him everything about your feeling and block him. Pls don't insult him, there is a way you will do it, he will learn something but There is a way you will do ir, he will not learn anything From you, thank you.

Ladycewhy:
lol. I nor dey in the habit to open people yansh.

lol. I don't knw ur own definition of opening yansh any way, we move.

slawormiir:
damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....i put on my intellectual cap reading between lines as I perused through the op write up while blazing my weed

And i must confess

All i see here is two smart people

You will kill person

Sixfeetbelle:
Relationships don't work like that. If you have problems, you let the other person know, not ghost them. She told you she was having issues with her business, yes, so why couldn't you tell her about your problems as well. Instead you ghosted her, thus prompting her to think that's why you left. Imagine yourself in her shoes and tell me what you would have thought.



I think both of you should find other people.

Two people sharing their problems at the initial stage of their relationship/friendship is repelling. It will look like one is out for a problem solver actually.

It takes time and trust to unlock that aspect of friendship/relationship (ref: Pocohantas)

Hope you gerrit.

.

Mcslize:
Friendship is two ways thing. When you noticed he wasn't chatting you up, did you take it by yourself to chat him up? Did you bother to find out if he could have been passing through?

Most ladies are guilty of this. They will never check up on guys if they don't check up on them.

My verdict: most ladies hardly check up on a guy except they have gotten intimate. But before the intimacy, it is only the guy that usually do the check up all the time which is bad.

Friendship is two dimensional. Have you taken time to check up on those on your WhatsApp list to find out what's going on in their lives?

Reach out to people from time to time if you discover that they have not been checking up on you. You might not know what they are passing through that period.

Reach out to someone and not always have the habit of waiting for someone to check up on you first.

Do you know you're the only one who has made a reasonable comment since this thread started?


A guy ghosted a girl for no tangible reason and suddenly he's back into her life like nothing happened. Most were busy focusing on "her hunger and his assumption" thereby drawing up inferences that weren't there. Not one person asked why she didn't reach out to him if she claimed they were friends.

JONNYSPUTE:
... I don't t know why most of you ladies act before they think.
Now you are shaking? Smh again.

Lol!

My advise, pls quickly run for your dear life.

IamAngelica:
My dear, at least now you know who he truly is and you know the next thing to do is to cut him off..but confront him first about it and hear what he has to say about it..this year has truly been crazy, the last thing you need in your life is unnecessary drama..

Yea she should cut him off... NEXT MAN will be an easy catch

Yeye dey smell.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Please endeavour to pick his call and you guys should sort what ever differences that you both have...in relationship issues like these tends to happen but it takes two mature adult to understand..with the look of things you both LOVE each other ...Happy married life in advance come 2021 in Jesus name

That's how they will be claiming test test, test ko, test ni, what are you testing, you ladies are all the same, Pele o hanty tester...

seunak2016:
ghost the man if you feel like he doesn't deserve your friendship, the man should open his eyes too and look elsewhere for another girl, the last time I checked population of woman is more than man. it is well my dear sister

Do you think CalliDora1 will be able to block the guy - I doubt it.

Don't be surprised to see pre-wedding photos on FP...lol

Sixfeetbelle:
Despite all the talks going on here, no guy has been able to tell me why he's back after ghosting her because of a perceived 2k?

Is he now buoyant enough to give her the 2k?

I like your comments and if you thinking ghost her, no problem. So how do we go about things now

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

You should have discussed this with him before throwing to the open. Nothing is wrong if you asked him why he kept away from you for so long. What if he had his own issues? What if he too needed help from a sister in the Lord but could not press on? What if he was borrowing money to purchase recharge card?

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

So invariably you're admitting the guy jumped into conclusions, which he shouldn't have if he truly cared about her. And if money was his problem, shouldn't he have waited to at least have been billed before disappearing?

And if he is to be forgiven for ghosting her, why is he back? Does he suddenly now have money to feed her?

By the way, she didn't have to tell him she was fasting. My doctrine forbids you from telling people you're fasting especially if it's a personal convenant between you and God.