₦airaland Forum

GboyegaD:
Why do you feel pained over someone else's success story?

pained bawo? She's lying and her lies has been exposed

Ebenezer2021:
pained bawo?
She's lying and her lies has been exposed

If she's lying, her loss. I guess that's how I think about it.

Sixfeetbelle:
What money are you referring to? The one the woman earns? Yes, of course. It will be added to the family's needs as an "assistance" when everywhere tight, not as a mandatory request. You get?


However, the man can't possibly be relying on it all the time things hard too, at least I don't think our forefathers relied on their wives market sales during their days.

Yes, because you didn't want to think it happened.

You were on-point...well, until the beginning of the second paragraph.

Of course, a right-thinking man should consider it more of assistance. The men are supposed to be the head of the family in this part of the world after all. It's our cross, even though the children will in almost all cases love and take care of their mothers more.

But I expect a sensible wife to lend a hand without being asked, seeing situations on ground. The Bible makes me to understand that the purpose of marriage is for one to help lift the other when they fall. No?

That's a problem I have with that second paragraph. Hard time is hard time, no distinction. If a man is responsible, loyal, and not wasteful, there should be no limit to assistance. There's a reason there are two parents.

My brother, I am just tired. Most Nigerians have this mindset that you should go to school, graduate, get married and start popping out kids. They do not want to know about the cost of raising a family in this day and age. They don't want to know that the current exchange rate is not favorable to them. They refuse to understand that they live in a country where you have to provide everything for yourself unlike in developed countries where the Government gives you all sorts of assistance. That's why poverty cannot be eradicated here.

Gerrard59:
Honestly, I don't get the fascination with Nigerians and marriage especially in the current economic climate. For goodness sake, you don't have enough to properly raise a family and boom! You are jumping into marriage. I'm sure you are one of those people who see marriage as a blessing - ridiculous way to reason. No wonder, you people just pop out babies like rats thereby populating what is already known as a shithole! Tomorrow, you will call Donald Trump a racist.

Ebenezer2021:
shut up and keep quiet ugly woman with tiny broom stick legs.
2 years ago you were jobless and begging to be a lab cleaner and all of a sudden You're now a manager in a chemist shop with 160k salary with an official car.
with the fake drugs you sell and probably your sugar daddy is the CEO of the chemist shop.
Otondo

Lol.. Keypad warrior I don't have your time, your hatred has blinded you so much that you couldn't see my other post on other threads( how I got the job, how I got promoted)
send your acct number let me find you something.
you can forward you CV to my mail let me help your wretched life
I'LL NEVER REPLY YOU AGAIN

ThaThinka:
Yes, because you didn't want to think it happened.

You were on-point...well, until the beginning of the second paragraph.

Of course, a right-thinking man should consider it more of assistance. The men are supposed to be the head of the family in this part of the world after all. It's our cross, even though the children will in almost all cases love and take care of their mothers more.

But I expect a sensible wife to lend a hand without being asked, seeing situations on ground. The Bible makes me to understand that the purpose of marriage is for one to help lift the other when they fall. No?

That's a problem I have with that second paragraph. Hard time is hard time, no distinction. If a man is responsible, loyal, and not wasteful, there should be no limit to assistance. There's a reason there are two parents.

Okay ooh. If you say so. We should help the man if need arises cause the woman is also a parent. Got it.




(grumbling) I still don't agree on assisting the man everytime things are hard ooh

Ebenezer2021:
do you know one thing I like about you?
You don't exchange insults

Who said I don't exchange insults? Please, if you come for me, I'll give it to you how I'm feeling at that moment.


His line of attack was unnecessary that's why I didn't reply with my own sets of insults. People that go about digging through people's past posts to use as an insult on them, to me, are the very worst kind of people. I don't step down to their level. Ever.

Sixfeetbelle:
Okay ooh. If you say so. We should help the man if need arises cause the woman is also a parent. Got it.




(grumbling) I still don't agree on assisting the man everytime things are hard ooh

Na your way.

Ebenezer2021:
shut up and keep quiet ugly woman with tiny broom stick legs.
2 years ago you were jobless and begging to be a lab cleaner and all of a sudden You're now a manager in a chemist shop with 160k salary with an official car.
with the fake drugs you sell and probably your sugar daddy is the CEO of the chemist shop.
Otondo

Goodday you're so blinded with hate, that you failed to check my posts on other thread (when and how I got the job). have you heard of something called FAVOUR
that you've been jobless and stagnant since 2 years ago
lemme help your wretched life you can forward your CV if you studied science related course(2.1) or better still forward your account number lemme send you something for weekend and stop wailing.

If you listen to people you may not make a headway in life I think 80k is a good point to start as you move on you will have to dig deep to surmount the challenges that may come your way if you want to wait until the economy improves you will wait for ever

Ebenezer2021:
like what kind of history related book?

You read history right? Think along that line.

miidae:
Goodday you're so blinded with hate, that you failed to check my posts on other thread (when and how I got the job). have you heard of something called FAVOUR
that you've been jobless and stagnant since 2 years ago
lemme help your wretched life you can forward your CV if you studied science related course(2.1) or better still forward your account number lemme send you something for weekend and stop wailing.

so you had to change your profile picture after that guy bashed the hell out of you.
you better change this one cos it's revealing your not too cute face too much

miidae:
Goodday you're so blinded with hate, that you failed to check my posts on other thread (when and how I got the job). have you heard of something called FAVOUR
that you've been jobless and stagnant since 2 years ago
lemme help your wretched life you can forward your CV if you studied science related course(2.1) or better still forward your account number lemme send you something for weekend and stop wailing.

Lol

You're too good for these people

GboyegaD:
Were things this bad when you got married on N50k? I am just curious because I have seen a few people telling their stories on how they married with less perhaps when a bag of rice was N8k and not now when it is over N25k.

If u keep considering present situation of things, u won't make any move ... U won't even invest or venture into any business sef ....

Our parents too were complaining even when things were at the best yet they got married and bore us ....

So, what your point? Grow up man

You are rich already just that you have not discovered yourself, you earn 80k every month you are complaining what about those that earn less than 30k and are still happily married

bigbauer:
PM, I've got something you should take a look at. I honestly don't know if this is for you, but it's worth taking a look. PS: It's legit.

Can you drop your contact sir. I lost the email of this account.

08061170028. That's my number

ebby9z:
If you have a computer, I believe you can make money with your skill in the freelance market place.

How is that done please.
. Sorry for relying late

Tochiology:
My man my have you heard of virtual esl teaching job before?

No sir. Please tell me. Thanks

ibechris:
If u are below 32 dont bother getting married.

Reason is,marriage will worsen ur problem and poverty will further wreck u both physically and mentally.

As the matter is now,what u need most is not an emotional laden women but a working class women so as to improve ur income.

Alternatively,u could as well suspend marriage for another five years if u are less than 31 so that by age 35,u must have saved aggressively in other to invest in some stuffs.


Do not say u have invested so much in that relationship else u might be settling for the worst. In this age and time,love without money is miserable and can kill faster than otapiapia.

Let me use myself as an example:
I was born into poverty,in fact my father worked as a security man for 22 years to ensure we all went to school. Although those days were better compared to this period.

During this time my mum was a complete house wife which I would never advice any woman except if her husband is rich.

To cut the long story short,after school i moved out of the house and i secured a bank job where i was earning a meagre #49,000 as salary and that later changed to #80,000 before I moved away from that job to another one.
However, when i met my wife i ensured she must be working because i was and still the bread winner of my family,and we moved on got married after 6 years our hard work and combined efforts paid off that we can boost of cash and asset worth 40million.

That is because both of us leverage on our jobs to create additional income streams...of which that is what u should be focusing on and not on a woman that isn't doing anything. Except for the rich who can afford to marry a liability as a wife.

At 37 I can afford to pay 250k termly for my children school fees without even touching my salary.

Waning:
To those who might perceived this as a means to boost my ego,pls disregard as it is just a piece of advice to encourage a brother.



That family will even wreck u before ur time,marry a working class. Love will disappear when u dont do the right thing.

Wish u the best.

I will love to learn from u sir. Can u drop your contact or Anywhere I can contact you.

08061170028 that's my number if you don't mind

Iolo:
Here’s my candid suggestion for you:

1. Have a plan: I’m not sure what you meant by security administrator but you need to ask yourself if this is what you want to continue doing? What career path does it fit into? How have others moved upwards from earning 80k to higher earnings?

It is often a tough pill to swallow but I personally believe that it is often better to work for “free” in a job with food prospects of upward mobility vs a job where you’ll be stagnant for years.

2. Will your current employer miss you when you leave? You need to answer this as honestly as possible. The goal here is to find out introspectively if you’re really good at your job as you think. If your employer will not really miss you, is it because you lack a certain skill they want? Are there any specific skills your employer sees in you and likes about you? If you asked your employer for a raise today will they say bye bye or ask your to reconsider. Seeing as you’ve spent 8 years in your current role I have the feeling that you should be able to answer this question easily.

2. Pick a career with higher chances of getting a job: it’s sad to say it but life doesn’t deal the same hand to everyone. If being a security administrator isn’t something that can earn you 500k monthly in any company over the next 3 to 5 years you probably want to change your career path quickly. If yes, ask yourself and others who have made it in the profession what it takes to get there. If no, you need to start thinking of changing course:

- get really good at using a computer if you aren’t already. It pays in today’s world to have your own laptop
- learn a skill in a profession like Software Design, Engineering, Data Science, Web Developer, Digital Marketing etc. these are career paths that are in demand where employers don’t necessary worry about what you studied in school.
- once you’ve identified what you’re passionate about and you have a computer with internet access there are many online platforms that can teach you skills for free.

3. Keep applying: I’ve noticed that people tend to underestimate how much work it is to get a job. I will suggest you adopt the mindset of aiming to apply for at least 50-100 jobs - in Nigeria you have to apply and apply and keep applying. Ensure you apply for a job you have a chance at. Update your resume and add skills that are complimentary to what the employer is looking for.

Don’t just send the same CV to every employer. You need like two or three versions of your resume where you tweak your resume to highlight certain aspects of your strengths as a security professional. Have a resume for example that speaks to working in a school. Have another that speaks to how your skills can be applied in a bank. Include your achievements in your resume too.

Like I said earlier on. Have the mindset that you need to apply for 50 jobs to get an interview. You will likely need to attend 4 or 5 interviews to seal a job that fits what you want pay wise. Overall you might end up applying for 200 jobs to get a job.

Where the hard work is is in applying for these jobs on a shorter period of time as against over years. Expose yourself to online platforms where you can upload your cv and applying doesn’t take much time. If you’re sending an email to apply for every job you will find it stressful. If you have to drop your cv physically same time as well. You need to balance these things but online applications make it easier.

If you aren’t already on LinkedIn for example, go there and create an account. Same thing with Jobberman and any other jobs portal you can find. Keep “Bombing” employers till they hear you. Keep updating your cv and in each interview try to know what you did right or wrong so you can improve your interviewing skills.


4. Ask your partner to go through these steps above. It’s important for husband and wife to have an income these days. I won’t say more here.

5. So your marriage postponement doesn’t become unending. Find out if money is the real issue here. If money is ask yourself how much you need to earn to get married. The amount you arrive at should be based on your expenses now and your future expenses when you get married. It’s also possible that you guys get married and plan to avoid having kids till you’re more stable. This Doesn’t sound “Nigerian” thing to do with the womb watchers that are abound but it’s an option for you to consider.

For example, taking care of a baby costs about 15-20k monthly depending. Some ppl spend much more others spend way less (I.e. use napkin instead of pampers, give the baby Ogi and stuff)

Lastly, be prayerful. There’s nothing God can’t do. He will expose you to the right path and you will see opportunities and clarity in whatever it is you decide to do.

Quite long but I hope this helps.

Thanks alot. It was helpful

Akin51:
This is my own advice sir,
Firstly,do not quit your job yet but you can start a business to complement your earning.Also ensure she finish learning her skill and earning too before marriage.so that the burden will not only be on you.

For a side business I recommend you start a mini importation business can be buying hot product from China or you deal with UK used phone mini importation biz.Either of the 2 can give you 2x of your current earning. Once you know what you are doing.just learn the skill.

Forget those telling you real estate,web design nd co.they are not that easy.but when inflow of money keep coming you can go and learn this.
Lastly pls do not let your fiance or her family Dictate for you or put you into pressure

How does the mini importation work