₦airaland Forum

Mcslize:
If I were the guy, I will dump the other girl that is still keeping in touch with her ex.

That babe is not good for him but the problem is he is still caged by the other girl. A typical guy that can't take control of his feelings for a so called cheating girlfriend. The girl is definitely cheating on him with her ex. She will definitely cheat on him if he make the mistake of settling down with that lady for life.

A lady that keeps in touch with her ex when still dating a guy is not going to be loyal to such a guy. That he has failed to realize. He seems to be that type of a guy that finds it hard leaving a girl and taking all the bullshits of a girl.

What you need to do: meet him one on one and tell him you have a question you will like to ask him. Stare into his eyes and ask the question: can you tolerate a cheating wife? If he says no, then ask him why then he is working things out with a girl that left him for her ex and then out of the blues she started crawling back to work things out with her? Isn't that foolishness?

He might go mute at first. Tell him that girl is not good for him. Be bold and talk to him exactly what I write here.

Tell him a girl that is still keeping in touch with her ex is definitely a big disaster to any guy.

However, what I see in this your male friend is that he is still very naive to see that the said girl is not good for him. He needs to realise this. That girl will cheat on him with her ex again and again even if she succeed manipulating him into getting back with him.

The guy is not wise at all. But it is left for you to be bold enough and make him understand this. He seems to be so naive with his emotions for that lady he claims as a girlfriend. That he is still trying to get back with a girl that can't let go of her ex is a complete act of foolishness.

Be bold and take the bull by the horn and make him understand just that.

The guy is just playing her bro! It will all end in tears las las.

My own story na the opposite... She has a boyfriend but she doesn't wanna let me go..
She is 6 years older than I am but I'm scared of hurting her... I kept telling her we aren't dating but she always wanna let me know she is love with me.. how the hell mehnnnn

Who is gonna take that.. �� 6 solid years. It's normal but honestly, it's gonna show cause I've got a more younger face than she.

danny34:
Madam a whole forum is telling to wise up, you are telling yourself u can win!

Leave the guy, when he is ready and you are sure he has left the babe, u 2 can move on.

Better face reality!

Even if he makes you the main chick, what is the guaranty that he will marry you?

Listen, grow up, we have all been there.

Let the guy man go!

She is too young to understand I guess. That's how it usually is at this age she is. I dont know what this op thinks she wants to win in a man that is clearly playing her. Well she is cruising towards a regret that will rattle her life for a long time to come. Dog wey go lossno dey hear word.

My opinion might be weird o. But this is the reason why in the past it was natural for a.man to have more than one woman legally. But now with the same man instincts we have to bottle it up because of imported culture. Those that can't bottle it up are seen to be double dating or having mistresses.

My advice is by flowing along with the guy, you are agreeing to be played with. You should be the one and only not a second thought. Tell him to a make a decision, you or the other girl

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

please move on! forget about him, from all that you typed here I could see that he is not a serious person. Don't be deceived and don t decieve yourself. tell yourself bitter truth. Don't waste your time with an unserious fellow that has no plans for you. Pray to God to give you your own man.

THERE IS THIS BUSINESS WE ARE DOING TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW WE MET AND HE IS THE ONE HANDLING A PART OF IT SO I HAD TO CALL HIM THAT IM TERMINATING THE BUSINESS WITH HIM BUT HE TOO HAD SOMETHING TO TELL ME BUT DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM SPIT IT OUT SINCE WE ARE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. SO HE SAYS THAT HIS GIRL CALLED HIM AGAIN AND SAID WHATEVER WE ARE HAVING WONT WORK.. AND HE SAID HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP IF EVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BREAK UP.. AND NOW HE IS 30 HE HAD TO SHOW THAT HE CAN BE LOYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. SO HE SAID HE WON'T BE COMMUNICATING THAT MUCH.. THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE TEXTS OR CALLS BUT THAT HE HAS DEEP FEELINGS FOR ME THAT HE CAN NOT CONTROL SO NOW HE IS MANNING UP TO STOP OVER COMMUNICATING WITH ME,., THAT EVEN HE HARDLY SAYS NO TO ME SO THIS WAS TOUGH FOR HIM SO WE SHOULD BE HAVING SHORT CALLS.. ALRIGHT SINCE HE WAS BEEN HONEST, ALTHOUGH IT CAME AS A SHOCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THAT AS ADVISED HERE, FIRST.. SO I SAID OKAY BUT IT'D BE DIFFICULT.. HE SAID YES.. SO I DECIDED TO TEASE HIM ABIT AND SAID HE SHOULD NOT BOTHER BECAUSE IM HAVING A FEELING THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WAITING AND IMMEDIATELY HE SAYS NOOO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT YET FOR ANYONE... THEN I SAID IM TERMINATING MY BUSINESS WITH YOU AND HE WAS MADLY HURT, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AND FINALLY I SAID JUST BE PREPARED, ONE DAY YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR FROM ME AND HE FROZE.. HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS ABOUT DOING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CALL.. HE WAS FEELING ON TOP.. HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE REPONSIBLE NOW FOR THE FUTURE.. I UNDERSTOOD THE PART.. AND HE SAYS HE WANTED HIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT HE DIDNT KNOW HOW HE MADE US GO THIS FAR BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH OUR CHATS AGAIN.. SO WE AGREED WE TALK IN THE DAY TIME ON LIMITED TIME, HE SAID HE DOES NOT TRUST HIS HEART HEARING ME ALL THE TIME.. HE SAID HE HARDLY TELLS HIS OWN BABE "I LOVE YOU" BUT HE'S TELLING ME NOW THAT IF HE HAD NOT MET HIS BABE, HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR ME BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WHOLE THINGS... I SAID NICE THINGS TO HIM TOO BECAUSE IN MY HEART I KNEW TWAS MY LAST WITH HIM.. LET HIM FIND ME IF HE TRULY MEANT HIS WORDS.. EVEN WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WANTED OUR FRIENDSHIP TO LAST, HE HAS TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS GIRL.. AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT THINK SO FOR NOW BECAUSE SHE MAY BE THE ONE OR MAY NOT BE THE ONE.. HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS "THE ONE" ... AFTER THE LONG CONVERSATION WHICH I CANT WRITE ALL HERE, WITHOUT HIS NOTICE, I BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE INCLUDING CALLS.. THATS IT! I DID IT!! THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CANDID AND SUPPORTIVE ADVICE.. GOD BLESS...

Gayatri:
THERE IS THIS BUSINESS WE ARE DOING TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW WE MET AND HE IS THE ONE HANDLING A PART OF IT SO I HAD TO CALL HIM THAT IM TERMINATING THE BUSINESS WITH HIM BUT HE TOO HAD SOMETHING TO TELL ME BUT DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM SPIT IT OUT SINCE WE ARE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. SO HE SAYS THAT HIS GIRL CALLED HIM AGAIN AND SAID WHATEVER WE ARE HAVING WONT WORK.. AND HE SAID HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP IF EVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BREAK UP.. AND NOW HE IS 30 HE HAD TO SHOW THAT HE CAN BE LOYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. SO HE SAID HE WON'T BE COMMUNICATING THAT MUCH.. THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE TEXTS OR CALLS BUT THAT HE HAS DEEP FEELINGS FOR ME THAT HE CAN NOT CONTROL SO NOW HE IS MANNING UP TO STOP OVER COMMUNICATING WITH ME,., THAT EVEN HE HARDLY SAYS NO TO ME SO THIS WAS TOUGH FOR HIM SO WE SHOULD BE HAVING SHORT CALLS.. ALRIGHT SINCE HE WAS BEEN HONEST, ALTHOUGH IT CAME AS A SHOCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THAT AS ADVISED HERE, FIRST.. SO I SAID OKAY BUT IT'D BE DIFFICULT.. HE SAID YES.. SO I DECIDED TO TEASE HIM ABIT AND SAID HE SHOULD NOT BOTHER BECAUSE IM HAVING A FEELING THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WAITING AND IMMEDIATELY HE SAYS NOOO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT YET FOR ANYONE... THEN I SAID IM TERMINATING MY BUSINESS WITH YOU AND HE WAS MADLY HURT, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AND FINALLY I SAID JUST BE PREPARED, ONE DAY YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR FROM ME AND HE FROZE.. HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS ABOUT DOING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CALL.. HE WAS FEELING ON TOP.. HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE REPONSIBLE NOW FOR THE FUTURE.. I UNDERSTOOD THE PART.. AND HE SAYS HE WANTED HIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT HE DIDNT KNOW HOW HE MADE US GO THIS FAR BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH OUR CHATS AGAIN.. SO WE AGREED WE TALK IN THE DAY TIME ON LIMITED TIME, HE SAID HE DOES NOT TRUST HIS HEART HEARING ME ALL THE TIME.. HE SAID HE HARDLY TELLS HIS OWN BABE "I LOVE YOU" BUT HE'S TELLING ME NOW THAT IF HE HAD NOT MET HIS BABE, HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR ME BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WHOLE THINGS... I SAID NICE THINGS TO HIM TOO BECAUSE IN MY HEART I KNEW TWAS MY LAST WITH HIM.. LET HIM FIND ME IF HE TRULY MEANT HIS WORDS.. EVEN WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WANTED OUR FRIENDSHIP TO LAST, HE HAS TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS GIRL.. AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT THINK SO FOR NOW BECAUSE SHE MAY BE THE ONE OR MAY NOT BE THE ONE.. HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS "THE ONE" ... AFTER THE LONG CONVERSATION WHICH I CANT WRITE ALL HERE, WITHOUT HIS NOTICE, I BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE INCLUDING CALLS.. THATS IT! I DID IT!! THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CANDID AND SUPPORTIVE ADVICE.. GOD BLESS...

Babe I'm happy you did the needful at the end of your soft response, it's crystal clear he's in love with his girlfriend, forget all those emotional mix-up hes dishing out to you, he just wants to have a soft landing if eventually something happens, you said you are beautiful which I doubt and if it's true why then do you wish and want to be the other girl. Now that you've done the needful, go out and have fun, you will be over all the emotions in no distant time. Whenever you feel down and emotional, just create a thread here and tag me and let's catch some fun.You will be alright. Be very firm with your decision, your very own man is on his way.God bless you

I advice you to leave him, as a guy he is just sampling the two of you, he may not marry either of you.

By the time he is done with you, you end up been a play girl, you know that really love doesnt exist in Nigeria.

Like my bro Rughteouness always says flee!! Flee!!! Fleee now before its late!!! Like seriously..

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

Gayatri:
What are the red flags please??... He loves his girlfriend but he does not want to let me leave him because i help him get focused than his girl aside the feelings he has for me... Please make me understand...

A word they say is enough for the wise.

Gayatri:
THERE IS THIS BUSINESS WE ARE DOING TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW WE MET AND HE IS THE ONE HANDLING A PART OF IT SO I HAD TO CALL HIM THAT IM TERMINATING THE BUSINESS WITH HIM BUT HE TOO HAD SOMETHING TO TELL ME BUT DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM SPIT IT OUT SINCE WE ARE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. SO HE SAYS THAT HIS GIRL CALLED HIM AGAIN AND SAID WHATEVER WE ARE HAVING WONT WORK.. AND HE SAID HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP IF EVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BREAK UP.. AND NOW HE IS 30 HE HAD TO SHOW THAT HE CAN BE LOYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. SO HE SAID HE WON'T BE COMMUNICATING THAT MUCH.. THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE TEXTS OR CALLS BUT THAT HE HAS DEEP FEELINGS FOR ME THAT HE CAN NOT CONTROL SO NOW HE IS MANNING UP TO STOP OVER COMMUNICATING WITH ME,., THAT EVEN HE HARDLY SAYS NO TO ME SO THIS WAS TOUGH FOR HIM SO WE SHOULD BE HAVING SHORT CALLS.. ALRIGHT SINCE HE WAS BEEN HONEST, ALTHOUGH IT CAME AS A SHOCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THAT AS ADVISED HERE, FIRST.. SO I SAID OKAY BUT IT'D BE DIFFICULT.. HE SAID YES.. SO I DECIDED TO TEASE HIM ABIT AND SAID HE SHOULD NOT BOTHER BECAUSE IM HAVING A FEELING THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WAITING AND IMMEDIATELY HE SAYS NOOO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT YET FOR ANYONE... THEN I SAID IM TERMINATING MY BUSINESS WITH YOU AND HE WAS MADLY HURT, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AND FINALLY I SAID JUST BE PREPARED, ONE DAY YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR FROM ME AND HE FROZE.. HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS ABOUT DOING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CALL.. HE WAS FEELING ON TOP.. HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE REPONSIBLE NOW FOR THE FUTURE.. I UNDERSTOOD THE PART.. AND HE SAYS HE WANTED HIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT HE DIDNT KNOW HOW HE MADE US GO THIS FAR BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH OUR CHATS AGAIN.. SO WE AGREED WE TALK IN THE DAY TIME ON LIMITED TIME, HE SAID HE DOES NOT TRUST HIS HEART HEARING ME ALL THE TIME.. HE SAID HE HARDLY TELLS HIS OWN BABE "I LOVE YOU" BUT HE'S TELLING ME NOW THAT IF HE HAD NOT MET HIS BABE, HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR ME BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WHOLE THINGS... I SAID NICE THINGS TO HIM TOO BECAUSE IN MY HEART I KNEW TWAS MY LAST WITH HIM.. LET HIM FIND ME IF HE TRULY MEANT HIS WORDS.. EVEN WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WANTED OUR FRIENDSHIP TO LAST, HE HAS TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS GIRL.. AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT THINK SO FOR NOW BECAUSE SHE MAY BE THE ONE OR MAY NOT BE THE ONE.. HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS "THE ONE" ... AFTER THE LONG CONVERSATION WHICH I CANT WRITE ALL HERE, WITHOUT HIS NOTICE, I BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE INCLUDING CALLS.. THATS IT! I DID IT!! THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CANDID AND SUPPORTIVE ADVICE.. GOD BLESS...

you took the best decision my dear stick to it. You deserve better, nobody trashes a treasure. you are a treasure.

I'm late to this topic and I've not read the comments, maybe my advice is already made by someone else.

My advice is that you cut off the relationship abruptly. Don't tell him, just stay away and unavailable. Its bad enough that the man is confused about two women. And then you are an alternative, a second choice, a fall-to. Staying away will enable him to come back to himself and have a clear assessment of his emotions. Be sure to stay away from him for up to a month.

It is wrong that you want to prove your love. That's desperation. If i were him, i would be cautious of you. Perhaps, that's what he's suspecting right now. He probably thinks your fine virtues are cosmetic and are only truly desperate and fake and would fade away soon. So you don't need to prove anything. He knows already.

But give him some space for now.

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

I am interested in your online business, can you mentor me?

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

Zzor:
Babe I'm happy you did the needful at the end of your soft response, it's crystal clear he's in love with his girlfriend, forget all those emotional mix-up hes dishing out to you, he just wants to have a soft landing if eventually something happens, you said you are beautiful which I doubt and if it's true why then do you wish and want to be the other girl. Now that you've done the needful, go out and have fun, you will be over all the emotions in no distant time. Whenever you feel down and emotional, just create a thread here and tag me and let's catch some fun.You will be alright. Be very firm with your decision, your very own man is on his way.God bless you

I did it aftetall,, im proud of me,, thank you all.. When im tired of crying i will stop... I will be fine

For your mental health, cut all forms of communication with him. You're not just friends anymore but in a complicated relationship. Remove all complications by cutting off.
For an avoidance of doubt, he will never be with you. You're just hanging na.
It will be painful. You may cry but after that dry your tears and move on. He likes your character but doesn't love you relationship wise.
See, a man that doesn't know what he wants at this stage, is not ready for a serious relationship. Pls protect yourself from a mental breakdown, move on...

Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.

Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..

From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..

What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..

When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..

As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless..

You nor get shame ni?
You can see that he has a gf and he's still stringing you along.
Instead of you to give yourself brain and take a walk you are doing pickmeshia
It will sha end in tears for one out of the three of you in that triangle,and it's definitely NOT going to be a guy.

I dont even know what to tell you. Reasons are from your write up i can simply tell ur kind of person, should i call you naive or too soft? Because no matter the advise you get on here, trust me it won't change anything based on what your heart tells you to do. i will simply say open your eyes so guys won't take advantage of your nature.

Gayatri:
I SO APPRECIATE ALL YOUR COMMENTS... I FOLLOWED YOU ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT WITHOUT SLEEP JUST TO SHOW HOW IMPORTANT YOUR WORDS ARE TO ME.. AND I AM TAKEN THE DECISION NOW! WITHOUT LETTING HIM KNOW!!!

sweetie, you are a strong woman. awaken the strength in you cos it's there. you can do this. learn to enjoy ur alone presence. ignore societal rules. people have died trying to please society and society is still alive. many more will still die trying to please society. commit your life to God, depend on God rather than man. by strength shall no man prevail. be guided by God's wisdom. spend time doing affirmation and changing your vibration or else you'll still attract the same type of relationship. then have faith. believe in the unseen.

Two of you are too dreamy-eyed like Powerpuff girls

Gayatri:
THERE IS THIS BUSINESS WE ARE DOING TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW WE MET AND HE IS THE ONE HANDLING A PART OF IT SO I HAD TO CALL HIM THAT IM TERMINATING THE BUSINESS WITH HIM BUT HE TOO HAD SOMETHING TO TELL ME BUT DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM SPIT IT OUT SINCE WE ARE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. SO HE SAYS THAT HIS GIRL CALLED HIM AGAIN AND SAID WHATEVER WE ARE HAVING WONT WORK.. AND HE SAID HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP IF EVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BREAK UP.. AND NOW HE IS 30 HE HAD TO SHOW THAT HE CAN BE LOYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. SO HE SAID HE WON'T BE COMMUNICATING THAT MUCH.. THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE TEXTS OR CALLS BUT THAT HE HAS DEEP FEELINGS FOR ME THAT HE CAN NOT CONTROL SO NOW HE IS MANNING UP TO STOP OVER COMMUNICATING WITH ME,., THAT EVEN HE HARDLY SAYS NO TO ME SO THIS WAS TOUGH FOR HIM SO WE SHOULD BE HAVING SHORT CALLS.. ALRIGHT SINCE HE WAS BEEN HONEST, ALTHOUGH IT CAME AS A SHOCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THAT AS ADVISED HERE, FIRST.. SO I SAID OKAY BUT IT'D BE DIFFICULT.. HE SAID YES.. SO I DECIDED TO TEASE HIM ABIT AND SAID HE SHOULD NOT BOTHER BECAUSE IM HAVING A FEELING THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WAITING AND IMMEDIATELY HE SAYS NOOO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT YET FOR ANYONE... THEN I SAID IM TERMINATING MY BUSINESS WITH YOU AND HE WAS MADLY HURT, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AND FINALLY I SAID JUST BE PREPARED, ONE DAY YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR FROM ME AND HE FROZE.. HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS ABOUT DOING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CALL.. HE WAS FEELING ON TOP.. HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE REPONSIBLE NOW FOR THE FUTURE.. I UNDERSTOOD THE PART.. AND HE SAYS HE WANTED HIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT HE DIDNT KNOW HOW HE MADE US GO THIS FAR BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH OUR CHATS AGAIN.. SO WE AGREED WE TALK IN THE DAY TIME ON LIMITED TIME, HE SAID HE DOES NOT TRUST HIS HEART HEARING ME ALL THE TIME.. HE SAID HE HARDLY TELLS HIS OWN BABE "I LOVE YOU" BUT HE'S TELLING ME NOW THAT IF HE HAD NOT MET HIS BABE, HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR ME BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WHOLE THINGS... I SAID NICE THINGS TO HIM TOO BECAUSE IN MY HEART I KNEW TWAS MY LAST WITH HIM.. LET HIM FIND ME IF HE TRULY MEANT HIS WORDS.. EVEN WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WANTED OUR FRIENDSHIP TO LAST, HE HAS TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS GIRL.. AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT THINK SO FOR NOW BECAUSE SHE MAY BE THE ONE OR MAY NOT BE THE ONE.. HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS "THE ONE" ... AFTER THE LONG CONVERSATION WHICH I CANT WRITE ALL HERE, WITHOUT HIS NOTICE, I BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE INCLUDING CALLS.. THATS IT! I DID IT!! THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CANDID AND SUPPORTIVE ADVICE.. GOD BLESS...

Until you let go of time and destiny wasters
The right person that God has for you will not come
There is a better man out there who will genuinely love and do the right thing by marrying you

So completely end this destiny and time waster

Gayatri:
He is not coming out now because he believes according to his discussion with the girl that the girl is over her ex and she is now serious with him... So he says they are working things out... But my existence in his life is important to him...

Chai see format wey guyman one use dey chop free Puna. Better run for your life. That guy doesn't love you at all

Gayatri:
I did it aftetall,, im proud of me,, thank you all.. When im tired of crying i will stop... I will be fine

Cry my dear, you shall be fine and strong

Gayatri:
THERE IS THIS BUSINESS WE ARE DOING TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW WE MET AND HE IS THE ONE HANDLING A PART OF IT SO I HAD TO CALL HIM THAT IM TERMINATING THE BUSINESS WITH HIM BUT HE TOO HAD SOMETHING TO TELL ME BUT DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM SPIT IT OUT SINCE WE ARE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. SO HE SAYS THAT HIS GIRL CALLED HIM AGAIN AND SAID WHATEVER WE ARE HAVING WONT WORK.. AND HE SAID HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP IF EVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BREAK UP.. AND NOW HE IS 30 HE HAD TO SHOW THAT HE CAN BE LOYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. SO HE SAID HE WON'T BE COMMUNICATING THAT MUCH.. THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE TEXTS OR CALLS BUT THAT HE HAS DEEP FEELINGS FOR ME THAT HE CAN NOT CONTROL SO NOW HE IS MANNING UP TO STOP OVER COMMUNICATING WITH ME,., THAT EVEN HE HARDLY SAYS NO TO ME SO THIS WAS TOUGH FOR HIM SO WE SHOULD BE HAVING SHORT CALLS.. ALRIGHT SINCE HE WAS BEEN HONEST, ALTHOUGH IT CAME AS A SHOCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THAT AS ADVISED HERE, FIRST.. SO I SAID OKAY BUT IT'D BE DIFFICULT.. HE SAID YES.. SO I DECIDED TO TEASE HIM ABIT AND SAID HE SHOULD NOT BOTHER BECAUSE IM HAVING A FEELING THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WAITING AND IMMEDIATELY HE SAYS NOOO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT YET FOR ANYONE... THEN I SAID IM TERMINATING MY BUSINESS WITH YOU AND HE WAS MADLY HURT, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AND FINALLY I SAID JUST BE PREPARED, ONE DAY YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR FROM ME AND HE FROZE.. HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS ABOUT DOING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CALL.. HE WAS FEELING ON TOP.. HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE REPONSIBLE NOW FOR THE FUTURE.. I UNDERSTOOD THE PART.. AND HE SAYS HE WANTED HIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT HE DIDNT KNOW HOW HE MADE US GO THIS FAR BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH OUR CHATS AGAIN.. SO WE AGREED WE TALK IN THE DAY TIME ON LIMITED TIME, HE SAID HE DOES NOT TRUST HIS HEART HEARING ME ALL THE TIME.. HE SAID HE HARDLY TELLS HIS OWN BABE "I LOVE YOU" BUT HE'S TELLING ME NOW THAT IF HE HAD NOT MET HIS BABE, HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR ME BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WHOLE THINGS... I SAID NICE THINGS TO HIM TOO BECAUSE IN MY HEART I KNEW TWAS MY LAST WITH HIM.. LET HIM FIND ME IF HE TRULY MEANT HIS WORDS.. EVEN WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WANTED OUR FRIENDSHIP TO LAST, HE HAS TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS GIRL.. AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT THINK SO FOR NOW BECAUSE SHE MAY BE THE ONE OR MAY NOT BE THE ONE.. HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS "THE ONE" ... AFTER THE LONG CONVERSATION WHICH I CANT WRITE ALL HERE, WITHOUT HIS NOTICE, I BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE INCLUDING CALLS.. THATS IT! I DID IT!! THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CANDID AND SUPPORTIVE ADVICE.. GOD BLESS...

What a firm stand and decision you took!! I'm proud of you . Sometimes we just have to make certain decisions, although they come with temporal pain (sacrifices), rather than acting as if all is well thereby suffering permanent pain which usually leave a big scar behind to remind us of being indecisive.


From your write-up and replies to comments here, it obvious that you are a lady with morals and values who deserves better. Yeah you deserve a better man, someone who will complement your fine attributes with his, to make you a total person and build a home with you- Such men are out there. Mind you, it takes more than having a sugarcoated mouth and having superficial attributes to be such a man, you may have to open your eyes wide and use your power of reasoning and discernment this time around.


There is every tendency that this breakup (so to speak), may affect you a bit since feelings was involve, but don't let that weigh you down! In fact get up and act as if you are in control, act as if you ended the relationship and not the other way round!

In the meantime, widen out, attend events and remain a hard-working lady that you are, and before you know it, you will meet the right person...although he might be found in places you least expect him to be, but i believe your good character and value will see you through!! Take your time and choose wisely.

Above all, talk to God personally through prayers, tell him what you want , he is always there for the fatherless and the vulnerable. Put a call accross to him through prayer as though you are conversing with a friend on the phone , he will hear you.

Don't think you need to go meet someone to pray for you since age is not in your side oo, in as much as that's is not bad , don't let people capitalise on your wants.

Your happiness matters, don't be robbed of that by any situation or anyone. .

Gayatri:
What are the red flags please??... He loves his girlfriend but he does not want to let me leave him because i help him get focused than his girl aside the feelings he has for me... Please make me understand...

use your head. He's in love with someone else. Stop draining yourself emotionally. He told you he can't leave his girlfriend and you are still been emotional about him?
Stop staring at the star when the Galaxy is before you. Or do you wish he jettison he's girl for you?

You are confused, he is confused, how do you plan to run a marriage based on confusion?
Walk away joor

ʟaɖ, ɖօռ't ʟɛaʋɛ ɦɨʍ
աaɨt sɦɛʏ ռa օռɛ ɢʊʏ ɖɛʏ ʏօʊʀ ʟɨʄɛ ni aɮɨ sքɨʀɨtʊaʟ ɦʊsɮaռɖ ɖɛʏ ɖɨstʊʀɮ ʏօʊ ռɨ❓❓
ɖօռ't ʟɨstɛռ tօ tɦօsɛ քɛօքʟɛ aɖʋɨsɨռɢ ʏօʊ tօ ʟɛaʋɛ ɦɨʍ
ɖօ tɦɛ saʍɛ tɦɨռɢ ɦɛ's ɖօɨռɢ tօ ʏօʊ sɨʍքʟɛ as tɦat
sɦɛʏ ɮɨ ɦɛ ɢɛt a sɛʀɨօʊs ʀɛʟatɨօռsɦɨք աɨtɦ ɦɨs ʍaɨռ ɢɨʀʟʄʀɨɛռɖ❓❓
ʏօʊ tօօ ɢɛt a ɮօʏʄʀɨɛռɖ tɦɛ աaʏ ɦɛ's աɨtɦ ɦɨs ɢɨʀʟʄʀɨɛռɖ
ɖօռ't ċaʟʟ ɦɨʍ tօ tɛʟʟ ɦɨʍ tɦat ʏօʊ ɮօtɦ աօռ't ɮɛ ʄʀɨɛռɖs aռʏʍօʀɛ ɮɛċaʊsɛ ɨt's ɢօռռa aʄʄɛċt ɮօtɦ օʄ ʏօʊ
ɨ ʀɛքɛat ; ʏօʊ tօօ ɢɛt ʏօʊʀsɛʟʄ a ɮօʏʄʀɨɛռɖ tɦat ʏօʊ ʟօʋɛ aռɖ աօʊʟɖ ʟɨҡɛ tօ sɛttʟɛ ɖօառ աɨtɦ aռɖ staʀt a sɛʀɨօʊs ʀɛʟatɨօռsɦɨք ʏօʊ ċaռ tɛʟʟ tɦɛ ɢʊʏ aɮօʊt ʏօʊʀ ռɛա ɢʊʏ aռɖ aʟsօ tɛʟʟ ʏօʊʀ ռɛա ɢʊʏ aɮօʊt ɦɨʍ as աɛʟʟ, sɨռċɛ ʏօʊ ɮօtɦ ɦas ռɛʋɛʀ ɦaɖ aռʏ sɛx ɮɛʄօʀɛ ʝʊst tɛʟʟ tɦɛ ռɛա ɢʊʏ tɦat ɦɛ's ʏօʊʀ ɮɛstɨɛ օʀ ɮɛttɛʀ stɨʟʟ ʏօʊʀ ʄʀɨɛռɖ
aռɖ ʏօʊ աօռ't ʟօse at tɦɛ ɛռɖ , ɮɛċaʊsɛ ɨʄ aռʏtɦɨռɢ ɦaքքɛռ ʀɨɢɦt ռօա, ʏօʊ'ʀɛ at tɦɛ ʟօsɨռɢ ɛɖɢɛ
ɖօռ't ċɦaռɢɛ ʏօʊʀ attɨtʊɖɛ tօաaʀɖs ɦɨʍ
ʟɛt's tɦɨռɢs ʄʟօա aռɖ ռօɮօɖʏ աɨʟʟ ʟօss ռօʀ cʀʏ at tɦɛ ɛռɖ
ʟɛt ɦɨʍ ɮɛ աɨtɦ ɦɨs ɢɨʀʟʄʀɨɛռɖ aռɖ ʏօʊ as ɦɨs ɮɛstɨɛ
aռɖ
ʏօʊ sɦօʊʟɖ aʟsօ ɢɛt ʏօʊʀ ɮօʏʄʀɨɛռɖ aռɖ ɦɨʍ as ʏօʊʀ ɮɛstɨɛ as աɛʟʟ
ɨ ʀɛքɛat ɖօռ't ʟɛaʋɛ ɦɨʍ ʝʊst ɖօ as ɨ saʏ, sɨռċɛ ɦɛ ċaռ't ʟɛaʋɛ ɦɨs ɢɨʀʟʄʀɨɛռɖ, ʏօʊ tօօ ʏօʊ ċaռ't ʟɛaʋɛ ʏօʊʀ ɮօʏʄʀɨɛռɖ ʝʊst sɨɖɛċօċҡ ɦɨʍ tɦɛ աaʏ ɦɛ sɨɖɛċɦɨċ ʏօʊ❗❗
aʍ sɛʀɨօʊs aɮօʊt tɦɨs

Gayatri:
I did it aftetall,, im proud of me,, thank you all.. When im tired of crying i will stop... I will be fine

You don't need to cry please and if you can't control yourself I believe this decision you just made is for your own good. We need to talk girl, don't be scared I'm a lady like you willing to help you with your healing process.

With love

I think you should have a very frank discussion with him. Tell him you are not available for the love triangle. He should make a decision what he wants and when he's done, he should communicate that to you.

But in the meantime, you should stay away from him both physically and virtually. Stop chatting with him until he takes a definite stand on what he wants to do and who he wants to be with.

You are too young and innocent for these complexities.

Gayatri:
I appreciate.. Thank you for sounding like a brother i never had..

sister Love Done Block Your Brain... You Wont listen To Advice Until The Blockage Is Cleared.

Gayatri:
THERE IS THIS BUSINESS WE ARE DOING TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW WE MET AND HE IS THE ONE HANDLING A PART OF IT SO I HAD TO CALL HIM THAT IM TERMINATING THE BUSINESS WITH HIM BUT HE TOO HAD SOMETHING TO TELL ME BUT DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM SPIT IT OUT SINCE WE ARE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. SO HE SAYS THAT HIS GIRL CALLED HIM AGAIN AND SAID WHATEVER WE ARE HAVING WONT WORK.. AND HE SAID HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP IF EVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BREAK UP.. AND NOW HE IS 30 HE HAD TO SHOW THAT HE CAN BE LOYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. SO HE SAID HE WON'T BE COMMUNICATING THAT MUCH.. THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE TEXTS OR CALLS BUT THAT HE HAS DEEP FEELINGS FOR ME THAT HE CAN NOT CONTROL SO NOW HE IS MANNING UP TO STOP OVER COMMUNICATING WITH ME,., THAT EVEN HE HARDLY SAYS NO TO ME SO THIS WAS TOUGH FOR HIM SO WE SHOULD BE HAVING SHORT CALLS.. ALRIGHT SINCE HE WAS BEEN HONEST, ALTHOUGH IT CAME AS A SHOCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THAT AS ADVISED HERE, FIRST.. SO I SAID OKAY BUT IT'D BE DIFFICULT.. HE SAID YES.. SO I DECIDED TO TEASE HIM ABIT AND SAID HE SHOULD NOT BOTHER BECAUSE IM HAVING A FEELING THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WAITING AND IMMEDIATELY HE SAYS NOOO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT YET FOR ANYONE... THEN I SAID IM TERMINATING MY BUSINESS WITH YOU AND HE WAS MADLY HURT, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AND FINALLY I SAID JUST BE PREPARED, ONE DAY YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR FROM ME AND HE FROZE.. HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS ABOUT DOING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CALL.. HE WAS FEELING ON TOP.. HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE REPONSIBLE NOW FOR THE FUTURE.. I UNDERSTOOD THE PART.. AND HE SAYS HE WANTED HIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT HE DIDNT KNOW HOW HE MADE US GO THIS FAR BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH OUR CHATS AGAIN.. SO WE AGREED WE TALK IN THE DAY TIME ON LIMITED TIME, HE SAID HE DOES NOT TRUST HIS HEART HEARING ME ALL THE TIME.. HE SAID HE HARDLY TELLS HIS OWN BABE "I LOVE YOU" BUT HE'S TELLING ME NOW THAT IF HE HAD NOT MET HIS BABE, HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR ME BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WHOLE THINGS... I SAID NICE THINGS TO HIM TOO BECAUSE IN MY HEART I KNEW TWAS MY LAST WITH HIM.. LET HIM FIND ME IF HE TRULY MEANT HIS WORDS.. EVEN WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WANTED OUR FRIENDSHIP TO LAST, HE HAS TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS GIRL.. AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT THINK SO FOR NOW BECAUSE SHE MAY BE THE ONE OR MAY NOT BE THE ONE.. HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS "THE ONE" ... AFTER THE LONG CONVERSATION WHICH I CANT WRITE ALL HERE, WITHOUT HIS NOTICE, I BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE INCLUDING CALLS.. THATS IT! I DID IT!! THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CANDID AND SUPPORTIVE ADVICE.. GOD BLESS...

Bravo our Heroine he’s now ur vomit i jst pray u don’t go back unless ur a dog (lol)
Come to think of it, if u can loose ur precious parents and yet ur life is moving on fine
Then to HELL with anyone.. Be tough sis
Sorry if i brought back sad memories
Once again congratulations and remain blessed

klap4gbens:
I am interested in your online business, can you mentor me?

.

Shytreasure:
What a firm stand and decision you took!! I'm proud of you . Sometimes we just have to make certain decisions, although they come with temporal pain (sacrifices), rather than acting as if all is well thereby suffering permanent pain which usually leave a big scar behind to remind us of being indecisive.


From your write-up and replies to comments here, it obvious that you are a lady with morals and values who deserves better. Yeah you deserve a better man, someone who will complement your fine attributes with his, to make you a total person and build a home with you- Such men are out there. Mind you, it takes more than having a sugarcoated mouth and having superficial attributes to be such a man, you may have to open your eyes wide and use your power of reasoning and discernment this time around.


There is every tendency that this breakup (so to speak), may affect you a bit since feelings was involve, but don't let that weigh you down! In fact get up and act as if you are in control, act as if you ended the relationship and not the other way round!

In the meantime, widen out, attend events and remain a hard-working lady that you are, and before you know it, you will meet the right person...although he might be found in places you least expect him to be, but i believe your good character and value will see you through!! Take your time and choose wisely.

Above all, talk to God personally through prayers, tell him what you want , he is always there for the fatherless and the vulnerable. Put a call accross to him through prayer as though you are conversing with a friend on the phone , he will hear you.

Don't think you need to go meet someone to pray for you since age is not in your side oo, in as much as that's is not bad , don't let people capitalise on your wants.

Your happiness matters, don't be robbed of that by any situation or anyone. .

Deep gratitude for this Sir.. You spoke like a Father-figure Sir... God bless

Gayatri:
What are the red flags please??... He loves his girlfriend but he does not want to let me leave him because i help him get focused than his girl aside the feelings he has for me... Please make me understand...

Lol. You really believe that with all his complicated stories about his state of love that he's been sincere with you? You are the side chick. He uses you to soothe his ego.

How can he love her but be chasing you? Is that how love sounds to you, cheating? Sounds like side chick work. He wants the two of you vying for him. He will later come on nairaland to tell us how he's a player and can handle any number of women at a time.