₦airaland Forum

THE FAMILY MIGHT BE PASSING THRU FINANCIAL HARDSHIP OWNING TO THIS COVID-19, WITH THE WOMAN DEMANDING ENDLESS TO HELP HER RELATIVES IN NIGERIA. ONE SHOULD NOT FORGET THAT MOST OF THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE ARE CLOSED OR 50% CAPACITY RIGHT IN AMERICA AND WITH 3 GROWNUP CHILDREN THAT'S A MESS.

RIP BRO AND SIS, HOPE YOU 2 CONTINUE IN PEACE SHA.

No, they won't go alone because someone always truncated their life choices - not bad choices or decisions. For the couple, maybe stress of the job.
Wow! What a Christmas for the children!

cococandy:
Why don’t these suicidal/murdering spouses just kill themselves instead of looking for who will die with them. I’m sorry to say this happens more with men. Not just black men. White men too.
When they are tired of life, they want to end their lives but can’t just go by themselves. They try to take their wives and kids with them.

pocohantas:
Go to that same YouTube and find a cultured intelligent Indian girl na. Make sure to tell her you are Nigerian, then wait her response.

Shebi naso e easy for an average Naija man to hook foreign woman in her youth?

It is more than easy. You are an ignoramus if you don't know that foreign women fall at the feet of Nigerian men.

They are even far easier to lay than Nigerian/African women.

The problem is that Nigerian men date and fck them, but when it's time to marry, they start looking for a Nigerian woman.

But that is fast changing.

Nigerian men don't really like Indians/Asian women.

Many of them have that curry stink that we find intolerable, and are culturally weird and unpredictable to us.

Instead we go for whites or AAs/Caribbean etc.

There are literally millions of them to choose from.

Watch Nigerian artiste videos on Youtube (Davido, Wizkid, Tekno etc) and read the many comments of women from across the world saying they just want to meet a Nigerian man.

GayPontiff:
This is becoming a norm in The US.
That society is just not for thorough bred Africans.
The men who turn themselves in after killing their spouse don't even show any remorse. Only God knows how unbearable what happened that made this man want to kill his family n off himself too.

You can be thrown outta your house for just raising ur voice at your wife.
Our women embrace this new found independence that makes the man seem incapable of playing the role he has always known.

Most cases, these men sacrifice everything to bring their women over and still lose it all.
Not siding these men or encouraging they go on killing rampage, but the death tolls r increasing and these women need to slow down a bit.

My drunkard uncle lost custody of his kids many years ago, he doesn't drink anymore, moved on and remarried..but just like that he can't even go close to his kids anymore. First wife stripped him of everything and is even sleeping around with younger boys. Aunty never contributed to his wealth by the way. She was also brought to come and study and from there she got married to my uncle.

marry women u can use.... They are always a tool,that is how our father sees them...wen u take them to comfort zone,another dick is better than u....

D woman even look like someone that will not drive a man crazy.

genq:
Garbage.

I don't know what man brings a woman abroad for the sole purpose of making her at his "beck and call", but I do know several who brought their wives who they thought they could build a future and raise beautiful children in a saner climate with, only for their gullible wives to embrace her newly found "liberation" as an opportunity to emasculate their men and live a frivolous lifestyle.

A man can selflessly bring a woman he loves abroad, only for her to count his sacrifices as nothing - ingrates!

The mentality that being a dutiful and courteous wife is "slavery" has done more harm to your gender than good.. that is why y'all are being killed left right and centre

Keep thinking you can cockle men and destroy everything they've worked for because feminism has "liberated' you

Too bad this woman did not live to enjoy her newly found liberation.

Don't mind them and their stupidity. Even many white guys in America/UK etc now go online to find wives from Russia, Ukraine, Thailand, China etc, because their own women have shown them pepper with that 'feminism' nonsense, which for their low IQ means disrespecting their husbands and treating him like trash because they're making a bit of money and the courts are biased against men.

[quote author=genq post=97256214][/quote]

Brushless:
It may also not be paternity fraud, in situations like this, their mum could have brainwash them to the extent that any time the couple have a fight, the children are always in support of their mum and always antagonistic of their father.

Yep. This is very common in the west.

I refuse to lead with the thought that half the viewers on this sub-thread are that callous.

cococandy:
You’re not going to change anyone’s mind who’s already biased against the woman (or man). It is what it is. Half the people on this thread came to jubilate that another Nigerian woman nurse is dead.
It’s a sort of consolation to them.

lefulefu:
Only a foolish man based overseas would be importing a wife back in naija all in the name of tradition and culture.Look nau..u turned into a beast and murdered ur own wife in pure rage maybe over infidelity issues or over issues she was not showing u enuf respect.Nothing stops u marrying an african based in the US with u.At least such a lady would be a little calmer than the one u just bring from nigeria and who is a stranger to u.

Your comment is funny.

Raalsalghul:


Your comment is funny.

yes o it might be funny but its true nau
why do u need to bring a woman from naija to study nursing and start earning for u.what stops u as a guy to read the nursing and earn the money and probably marry a fellow medical practitional over there as well.No be the same brain u get wey the woman wey u wan import for naija get as well ?

lefulefu:
yes o it might be funny but its true nau
why do u need to bring a woman from naija to study nursing and start earning for u.what stops u as a guy to read the nursing and earn the money and probably marry a fellow medical practitional over there as well.No be the same brain u get wey the woman wey u wan import for naija get as well ?

The way I see it ehn; it's better to be maltreated by a woman that I met there that someone imported from Nigeria.

The one from Nigeria will be so painful giving you aided her upliftment.

cooooooks:
I refuse to lead with the thought that half the viewers on this sub-thread are that calloud..

you do not follow the pattern here well then. Keep watching

armyofone:
No, they won't go alone because someone always truncated their life choices - not bad choices or decisions. For the couple, maybe stress of the job.
Wow! What a Christmas for the children!

very sad

Now imagine in myriads of situations all over the world where the wife has to cut back her income bringing hours in order to take care of the home. Because she’s the woman of course.

How many of those women have killed their husbands because he didn’t let her dictate how the money is spent? Don’t you people encourage her to be satisfied with whatever he can provide. He’s a good husband for even trying. Why is this same consideration not extended to women?

Y’all can’t take half of what you dish and that’s why you get frustrated. Equality can be frustrating for those who have never had to consider the wellbeing of others.

sonnie10:
One common issue spouse have when the wife is a nurse is time management. Running the home and work schedule.
It comes down to maintaining a balance between. I will go further to give some details of most prevalent scenario.
As a nurse in the US, you are able to afford most luxury; any car, house, clothing, vacation and jewelries but you must put in the time for work.

If you work one regular 40hours a week job, you might not be that financially ok when you consider bills.

Now, here is where the common problem is, nurses are well sort after and the opportunity to work extra jobs are plenty. The downside is that it takes away family time and wifely responsibilities. Most husbands do not want that but the greed for dollars and the good things the wives can get with it blocks any form compromise with the husband. The common rebuttal is usually; are you not the man? Why don’t you provide those things then? Me that I want to try why are you stopping me? Imagine what happens in a home where the wife works 16hour at two jobs and only comes home to sleep when the husband is probably away at his own job.

Let me tell you this, a nurse that works only 40 hours a week can never comfortably afford a Land Rover valor or Lexus Gx or Mercedes glc, it’s impossible. So how is it that most of the nurses drive these cars?

They drive it because they work more and family responsibility is neglected. In the US, if you have young kids at school, your life and time is almost sacrificed for them.

Someone has to be there to get them ready, to drop them off at school and pick them up after school. Obviously, if the wife is a “hard working nurse” she can’t. The man has to pick up this extra responsibility and cut down his time for work; meaning less money for the man and more more for the wife. That is the correlation.

So, the result is that the wife is more financially buoyant than the man. It then comes a time when the wife wants to pay house rent for her brother in Nigeria who lives in lekki and had recently lost his job but the husband says no, she can’t.
Who gives him the right to decide what she can and cannot do with her hard earned money? Forgetting that he also made the sacrifices for her to be available to go to that work. The truth is that anyone can do two jobs in the US. ( Go check the families that both husband and wife work two full time jobs, their children are always in trouble)
Ideally, this is not how it is judged by external advisers and even the wife themselves.

The judgement is usually this way; you are the man, why can’t you provide for your family, why let your wife suffer to work and you want to control her. The statement has sent many men to early grave This is bringing a man to the lowest of low. A man that has sacrificed his time, job, pride and almost everything hoping for a better family.

Raalsalghul:
The way I see it ehn; it's better to be maltreated by a woman that I met there that someone imported from Nigeria.

The one from Nigeria will be so painful giving you aided her upliftment.

a foreign woman will be reasonable if the guy is also reasonable.I have seen marriages where nigerians overseas marry foreigners and the marriage last.Besides if u prefer to marry only nigerian there lots of nigerian ladies in the US so why go back to nigeria and be stressing urself bringing her over.But again i dont see the fun just restricting yourself to ur tribe and nationality when there other groups of women to hang out with.

cococandy:
Now imagine in myriads of situations all over the world where the wife has to cut back her income bringing hours in order to take care of the home. Because she’s the woman of course.

How many of those women have killed their husbands because he didn’t let her dictate how the money is spent? Don’t you people encourage her to be satisfied with whatever he can provide. He’s a good husband for even trying. Why is this same consideration not extended to women?

Y’all can’t take half of what you dish and that’s why you get frustrated. Equality can be frustrating for those who have never had to consider the wellbeing of others.

You stated on the premise that in a family setting, there are no traditional roles for husband and wife. Based on that, we would always have variants in opinion.

sonnie10:
You stated on the premise that in a family setting, there are no traditional roles for husband and wife. Based on that, we would always have variants in opinion.

It’s easy to pick and choose what roles we want to play depending on what favors us at the moment isn’t it?

genq:
This will never end.

These men in America will keep killing their wicked, ungrateful wives - not to excuse murder but Nigerian women abroad tend to exhibit signs of demonic possession - they will fuuckk around on you and bring bastaard children home for you to raise, they will insult and belittle you at any slight provocation, they will mentally and emotionally abuse you (some even physical), they will take you to court and claim everything you've laboured for, leaving you penniless in your old age, then turn your children against you so that you're left to rot in poverty, loneliness and misery. They have no conscience and are supported by their coven of westernized Nigerian-American witches wives (whom are mostly in the Nursing profession).

She probably destroyed his life and livelihood to the point of no return and the man probably thought 'fvck it, imma send this bitch back to the pit of hell she emerged from' . I can see he also tried to eliminate his (potential bastaard) children too

Most likely a case of paternity fraud.

BuddhaPalm:
Those cultists that kill themselves, do so over petty arguments...

I don't give a damn about cultists, they can die if they want. I'm only concerned about innocent people getting shot unnecessarily

Hassanmaye:
For where man give me one instance where Nigerian woman brought a Nigerian man to the US?

My coworker. And of course the man acted a fool

My daughter, if I have one, will probably be naive, having grown up with the best of the best so I will be very protective so she is not used by some visa-hungry guy. However, I would encourage her to find a fellow doctor to marry at her Stanford medical school or John Hopkins. So if the hustler guy has the brains to find himself in Johns Hopkins as a doctor, why not?
But make the guy no think say he go be guy wey dey work for walmart, come come my house oh. Na dog I go set on am

jedisco:
Hehehe... Seems na only doctor you wan marry... Are you sure you're not digging gold?

Her attitude is something that cuts across Nigerian immigrants in general. Once most are on their feet, they start looking at new entrants one way. It's even worse when it's the parents.

I hope you'd treat a hustling Nigerian dude with respect if he comes to marry your U.S trained doctor daughter

Never underestimate the power of the village crew, those of you living abroad, try to come home one every 3 years SBD send some dollars to the village crew.

cococandy:
It’s easy to pick and choose what roles we want to play depending on what favors us at the moment isn’t it?

Equity and feminism has never been about contesting superiority between a wife and husband.
A woman has her role in a family and the man has his too. It has alway been so both in our traditional setting and egalitarian society.
Only the misguided ones would think otherwise.
When a clear definition of equality and feminism is not understood, confusion about what does and does not represent those issues become prevalent.
Equity has more to do with systemic problems than micro family dynamics.
Anyone that wants to contest position of authority with their husband should give it a different name but surely not equity or feminism.

HisMajesty1:
In about two or three of your post, you've projected Nigerian men in the US to be the lazy stay-at-home type. Is this your personal reality or that's how it generally is in the US. I'm asking because I've heard reliably that among the hardest set of migrant workers in the US, Nigerian men ranks very high in all cadres of jobs. Care to enlighten me?

Most parent prefer to send their male kids overseas to study, in the hopes that they would take care of the remaining family in Nigeria.

When these guys come here, through whatever means- student, marrying an American or visa lottery, their first instinct is to show people back home that they have ‘arrived’. Whatever menial job they do, they always have the Dollars to Naira exchange rate at the back of their mind, so any penny they earn seems big in Naira. They start pricing 2 plots of lands in Nigeria.

Anyone who you seek advise on how to make it in the US will tell you that you have to get schooled and at least, hold a US degree or certification, the higher the better obviously. But these men are deceived by the fast change they earn that they absolutely refuse to go to school. Secondly because they feel it will be too stressful, afterall in Nigeria, they are big men now.

If you didn’t know, anything healthcare is the best profession for immigrants, as long as you are licensed in the US. You can’t be a lawyer or teacher or banker being that it has a lot to deal with customer services, for which your accent is a barrier. Nursing is the most sought after career in the US in relation to job security.

When Nigerian men find a spouse and bring her to the US, they quickly encourage her to do something in healthcare, preferably Nursing. Now being that this Jesus like husband who has delivered her from the hands of Nigeria is encouraging her to go to school, she wouldn’t say no she wants fast money like him. She has to go to school, no matter her age, level of education, degree of embarrassment or stress she would have to go through to learn in a foreign land. Like you are 5x slower than your classmates in everything because it’s a new system..you are a new immigrant. And in the US, you are also encouraged to work at least a couple of hours while in school, to help build your resume and skills. So the ladies go to school, work sparingly and also take care of the household, still so so grateful.

After completing this education, could take anywhere from 4-8 years depending on the degree you pursue, she obviously starts earning more than her husband. At this point her husband feels like he has invested completely so there is no need to work, or to work too much.

For the first couple of years she would be ok because she is still grateful for his support, but as demand and expenses increases, both in her home and in Nigeria, she feels the weight of carry the financial burden of her family, as well as her her innate duties as a woman of the house. She starts putting in overtime and all, all the while asking her husband if there is any career he would like to pursue or certification to get a professional work to assist financially. But the Nigerian men refuses to have anything to do with education. They would rather tell you takes of their containers and how someone played them in Nigeria. If she dares ask him to help out more in the house while she puts in extra work, it is finished. She has become Americanized.

Now this woman keeps going higher in education, due to peer pressure and all. Mind you, her coworkers had the good sense to marry someone in their field or even higher, and they show her pictures of their purchases, expensive trips, that they deserve because they worked hard for it. But this Nigerian man is keeping his wife from attaining that position simply because she is singlehandedly providing for the family.

Sweet bitterness creeps in, that so called gratitude for bringing her to the US expires. Then you hear all these stories that touch.

pocohantas:
Four instances attached. You didn’t mention race, they are women- helping your fellow alfa males to the TOP.

You can use your mum as the fifth, I like to think she did. Your mothers are always different.

hahahahaha! You and these your collections! Shey we no fit marry oyinbo in peace again?

Off point

sonnie10:
Equity and feminism has never been about contesting superiority between a wife and husband.
A woman has her role in a family and the man has his too. It has alway been so both in our traditional setting and egalitarian society.
Only the misguided ones would think otherwise.
When a clear definition of equality and feminism is not understood, confusion about what does and does not represent those issues become prevalent.
Equity has more to do with systemic problems than micro family dynamics.
Anyone that wants to contest position of authority with their husband should give it a different name but surely not equity or feminism.

.

cococandy:
Off point

Refer to the first time you mentioned me. My second reply is in continuation to that. There was really nothing to talk about in your second post.

sonnie10:
One common issue spouse have when the wife is a nurse is time management. Running the home and work schedule.
It comes down to maintaining a balance between. I will go further to give some details of most prevalent scenario.
As a nurse in the US, you are able to afford most luxury; any car, house, clothing, vacation and jewelries but you must put in the time for work.

If you work one regular 40hours a week job, you might not be that financially ok when you consider bills.

Now, here is where the common problem is, nurses are well sort after and the opportunity to work extra jobs are plenty. The downside is that it takes away family time and wifely responsibilities. Most husbands do not want that but the greed for dollars and the good things the wives can get with it blocks any form compromise with the husband. The common rebuttal is usually; are you not the man? Why don’t you provide those things then? Me that I want to try why are you stopping me? Imagine what happens in a home where the wife works 16hour at two jobs and only comes home to sleep when the husband is probably away at his own job.

Let me tell you this, a nurse that works only 40 hours a week can never comfortably afford a Land Rover valor or Lexus Gx or Mercedes glc, it’s impossible. So how is it that most of the nurses drive these cars?

They drive it because they work more and family responsibility is neglected. In the US, if you have young kids at school, your life and time is almost sacrificed for them.

Someone has to be there to get them ready, to drop them off at school and pick them up after school. Obviously, if the wife is a “hard working nurse” she can’t. The man has to pick up this extra responsibility and cut down his time for work; meaning less money for the man and more more for the wife. That is the correlation.

So, the result is that the wife is more financially buoyant than the man. It then comes a time when the wife wants to pay house rent for her brother in Nigeria who lives in lekki and had recently lost his job but the husband says no, she can’t.
Who gives him the right to decide what she can and cannot do with her hard earned money? Forgetting that he also made the sacrifices for her to be available to go to that work. The truth is that anyone can do two jobs in the US. ( Go check the families that both husband and wife work two full time jobs, their children are always in trouble)
Ideally, this is not how it is judged by external advisers and even the wife themselves.

The judgement is usually this way; you are the man, why can’t you provide for your family, why let your wife suffer to work and you want to control her. The statement has sent many men to early grave This is bringing a man to the lowest of low. A man that has sacrificed his time, job, pride and almost everything hoping for a better family.

Good point.

For those wondering, it's almost the same reason why properties are split between partners even if one was a house wife/husband moreso when kidsare involved.

Being a house wife/husband is the West is very much different from that role in Nigeria. If kids are involved, it can be regarded as a full-time job.

Most families have to make that compromise so one person is more at home and the other has the flexibility to work extra. If not, cost spent on childcare will virtually swallow the salary you're going out to work for.

SamNaijaboy:
My daughter, if I have one, will probably be naive, having grown up with the best of the best so I will be very protective so she is not used by some visa-hungry guy. However, I would encourage her to find a fellow doctor to marry at her Stanford medical school or John Hopkins. So if the hustler guy has the brains to find himself in Johns Hopkins as a doctor, why not?
But make the guy no think say he go be guy wey dey work for walmart, come come my house oh. Na dog I go set on am

Lol...

Toh you see why I said it cuts across. Most guys bashing Nigerian ladies here would not want a typical hustling Nigerian fude to come near their daughters.

And I'm sure you'd also be a bit suspicious of a 'hustling' Nigerian immigrant who wants to befriend you as well.