descarado:

Then you don't know how to get somebody by your side.
That woman can make him love her more than his own mum by her act of kindness.

You want him to bring gift everytime he come bit don't want to part with yours
I hear you

NeoWanZaeed:
Checking the c0mments. . It shows and proves that NL consist of 98% kids and stupid adults. THIS IS NOT A MATTER OF RICH OR POOR. . this is a matter of common sense. How would u go visit ur in_law EMPTY HANDED? EVEN if ur inlaw is otedola and u go visit him empty handed. .IT SHOWS U LACK ALL RESPECT AND MANNER. . thats what it means in our land here in AFRICA. OP, ur guy needs to apologize to ur mum. . Thats if he loves u truly

descarado:

Nope, it's not done that way.

She knows the type of man she took home to her mum.
If the man didn't come with gift( nothing wrong with it, we usually visit people with gifts), it now behold on her mum to show him how it's done. Kill him with kindness.
Get some things, wrap in polyethene and give him to go home with. The mum can continue by calling him the next day to ask if he reached home safely, have eaten what I gave you etc, that way, u are drawing him close to you and at the same time changing his mindset.
Trust me, next time, he will go with truck loads of gifts.

My mum will never allow that man leave our house with nothing be it cooked food, foodstuff or fruits.

U are not doing that man a favour rather it's the opposite
All these entitlement mentality.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

izzou:


I'm Igbo, and i think it has to do with the family itself

The guy even wanted to visit her mum despite the fact that she wasn't around. Very thoughtful, if you ask me

Yet, dem wan pursue am because e no buy gift come.

Mariangeles:


I don't know about the others, but in my tribe (Igbo), that's how things are done.
You don't go to your in-laws bare handed.
It is not an act to be proud of.

Sixfeetbelle:


I can decide to not give my visitor a cup of water based on my state of mind. It's still courtesy but I know how it would be perceived. Same is applicable to the visitor coming to my house.

Mariangeles:


It is very easy to tell those who are troubled in their personal lives. Those who are unhappy.
You can tell by how they rejoice and enjoy other people's misunderstandings and misfortune.

No matter who they say they are or what they say they have, in reality, it's all just an illusion. A farce!

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

luminouz:


You should literally obey your moniker...

What a load of bullcrap

BusinessCity:



Enjoy.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

BusinessCity:



It's a reflection of his character to some extent. It could be a onetime thing, it could also be his regular attitude. If he had shown remorse then the mum could be said to be wrong. Not showing remorse and claiming right and keeping malice aren't trait a man who wants to marry should have. If a couple or intended couple fight, they shouldn't be doing first to apologise is weak which is what he's doing.


If I were him and made the mistake and loved her truly. I'll call the mum directly and apologise saying it's an error. That's to show the relationship is worth fighting for. He's the man, he ought to do this. The remorse will then cover up all the flaws of all parties. He's expecting the mum to come beg him or the girl to kneel when there aren't particularly at fault


When we were kids, my dad worked as a manager at a bank and had his private company and we were wealthy. We had no lack but in laws brought things we didn't need but give out. They never for once came empty handed. It's wrong.

Sixfeetbelle:


Because he came to visit the family with gifts, he will now start maltreating the wife?

Lashist:

Madam every visitor is not suppose give you biscuits everytime they come greet you...it depicts excessive hunger....if you want to give them water to drink, your cup of tea but dont expect them to bring you bread and biscuits...Just imagine your mentality. Person wey end up with you will put up with alot of rubbish

NoToPile:






The bolded made me laugh.



@topic Iam amazed at some responses,lots of kids boys roaming about this forum, all they know is redpill and simp. They can't even handle the elderly with wisdom.

WILLuKPquiet:


Will u keep quiet!

The same irresponsibility that is worrying the guy is what is worrying you.
Why do the whites go with a box of chocolate, bottle of wine or even a bunch of flowers.

You went to greet your in-laws empty handed and yet you were offered Coke and you drank it.
If I were him I would not drink that Coke. So, it would be a goalless draw.

Guys like you be calling the woman and her daughter poor. And what if they are poor? Is it a crime to be poor?
Didn't the guy see them as poor before dating the lady?
Must the poor woman use her last 100naira to entertain an irresponsible guy and he still shamelessly drank it and stood up to say goodbye ma.

Guy don't jump on my mention next time.

J111333:
My dear, that was just an ordinary hello visit. He didn't go there with elders, neither was it the first time he visited.

The first time, yes I will go there with probably a bottle of wine for her dad and on my way out, share some money to the kids around. I also will give some money to her mum if they are not financially comfortable. I say this because I see giving cash to financially comfortable people as insulting.

Other times, I may buy some beverages and I may not. It's not mandatory and it depends on my relationship with the intending mum in law. I won't want to give the impression that I'm trying to buy her consent.

LadySarah:


shrugs. OK if you say so.

Kaimaonyeana:


Poverty mentality

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

WILLuKPquiet:


Will u keep quiet!

The same irresponsibility that is worrying the guy is what is worrying you.
Why do the whites go with a box of chocolate, bottle of wine or even a bunch of flowers.

You went to greet your in-laws empty handed and yet you were offered Coke and you drank it.
If I were him I would not drink that Coke. So, it would be a goalless draw.

Guys like you be calling the woman and her daughter poor. And what if they are poor? Is it a crime to be poor?
Didn't the guy see them as poor before dating the lady?
Must the poor woman use her last 100naira to entertain an irresponsible guy and he still shamelessly drank it and stood up to say goodbye ma.

Guy don't jump on my mention next time.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Trayceey:
I'm not defending my mum. You know these mothers always have a hold on us