descarado:

Everybody has different meaning for courtesy.
That same courtesy will make the mum give him something even if he came bearing gifts or not. Why didn't she do that? Cos she lacks courtesy!

U see, you have to remove the spec in your eyes before u see another's eyes properly

Don't just jump to the conclusions that your mom will do so, I'm sure she's not a charity organization! I'm sure your mom will do so having found him worthy of such act of love.

Sixfeetbelle:


It's your perspective, finally. If you like, when you visit people, show up empty-handed. I won't do it. If the people are hungry or rich, it doesn't matter to me as my gift is what I make of it, not what they make of it.

Simple...its a thing of choice not a must...will you swear that you carried gifts in all your visits and wedding attendances in your life. Every single one of them?

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

A red flag for what exactly? So a gift overides the character of the person? Hungry people

BusinessCity:




Poor family indeed. Can he visit Dangote empty handed?

She said he used to bring gifts but he did not bring any gift on his last visit.

How do that sound to you.

It clearly means that the mother is a hungry woman.

I wanted to like this your contribution at least twenty times. But alas that's not possible on NL.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Homeboiy:


She said he used to bring gifts but he did not bring any gift on his last visit.

How do that sound to you.

It clearly means that the mother is a hungry woman.

Kolanut doesn't fill the stomach. Prestige costs nothing but add honor to the one that acts right.

basbone:
There is nothing as great as good companionship. Gifts or no gifts. His presence alone is all the gifts you and your mom needed. It shows he is not a Playboy. He is serious in being acquainted with you and your family. There's nothing great as when a stranger visits you to know about your welfare. What even your family members will find very hard to do.

Shey you go marry? On your wedding day, will you tell me you expect all the guests there to give you gifts? Even your family members, not all of them will bring gifts but you'll be happy that they came right? Please change that mindset.

Wise words

Lashist:

Simple...its a thing of choice not a must...will you swear that you carried gifts in all your visits and wedding attendances in your life. Every single one of them?

Not to all wedding attendance, no, as I didn't know some of the people but family friends, yes. I know them.

obstead200:
naturally when I see posts like urs, I try to check ur profile to see if I will find a profile picture. I need to remind myself that morons still exist, then I note their face and avoid them in future.

U are not yet ready to marry. When u get ready, we will know. Ur mama will even be the one to beg the guy to even come and visit. She fit dash am transport money sef.

My friend shot up there. All these lagosian indomie children. What do you know about courtesy.

As an igbo man i cant go to my inlaws house without gifts.but it depends if the inlaw lives in the same city or locality with the young man and he wants to breeze in and say hi,there is nothing wronmg with that.nairalanders dont forget that the lady said its not the first time he came visiting ,that he bought gift the first time .the guy is not stingy,maybe he doesnt have .you as the lady made a big mistake by calling him to talk tras/h
.you should have deffended him .your mum is a typical igbo woman .they expect too much from a would be inlaw but you should have protected your guy with solid excuse .dont be surprised when mumsie start to bad mouth and talk down on you in the presence of your younger ones .politics dey every family nne na wisdom you go take dey handle matter .you no try for this one . You behaved like a lil baby .

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Sixfeetbelle:


Apparently, neither does the guy

If it comes to this, the babe loses especially if the guy is a good guy.

Once parent start measuring the "love and care" their daughter gets from her man with material things, the man is taking note and will treat the wife or wife to be as property.i do hope babes take note.

Lashist:

Shutup...visits doesnt mean bringing gifts...cant one go and visit and greet someone without giving bread and fruits..is she sick that OP must bring mangoes for her to lick...can u swear with your life that u visits your friends everytime with fruits

If we say you're st*pid now, you would be angry. You too listen to yourself... Please free that man, he doesn't deserve an entitled human being like you.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

BusinessCity:



Kolanut doesn't fill the stomach. Prestige costs nothing but add honor to the one that acts right.

It was not his first visit

The mother should have focused on the mans personality and what he is up to rather than gifts

Too much expectation creates disappointment

WILLuKPquiet:


Will u keep quiet!

The same irresponsibility that is worrying the guy is what is worrying you.
Why do the whites go with a box of chocolate, bottle of wine or even a bunch of flowers.

You went to greet your in-laws empty handed and yet you were offered Coke and you drank it.
If I were him I would not drink that Coke. So, it would be a goalless draw.

Guys like you be calling the woman and her daughter poor. And what if they are poor? Is it a crime to be poor?
Didn't the guy see them as poor before dating the lady?
Must the poor woman use her last 100naira to entertain an irresponsible guy and he still shamelessly drank it and stood up to say goodbye ma.

Guy don't jump on my mention next time.

What a rebound load of craaaap

Obey your moniker or are you dëaf?

Our African mothers with gift mentality.
At least the young lad brought a gift once
Even if na ritualust he no concern the mama
All den know na gifts and money.


Am not saying it's bad
And I hardly go to my in laws without gift
But I personally feel it shouldn't be enforced on anyone.

Ways we were brought up differs.
Judge no man!

Wait o.
Is this not Nigeria again?
Y y'all abusing the lady and her mama?

Are y'all not trained ??

Courtesy demands you go along with a gift if you're visiting someone let alone your MIL to be .

And y'all there saying rubbish !

E ma ni eko o.
BTW, ur fiancee should call and apologize (find an excuse) if he's really interested in the marriage.

Lashist:

Read properly next time and obey your moniker. The same white people will tell you "you shouldnt have brought that box of chocolate cus they weren't expecting it. He is not their in-law yet and he has taken gifts to them before...expecting gifts every single time is entitlement mentality. So once he calls her on phone, he should quickly recharge her line cus she spoke to her

You must be the son of Lie Muhammed. Go back to the OP's post and point out where it was written he has been going there before with gifts. Must you lie to make a point?

The whites who says "you shouldn't have brought this" are saying it for courtesy. The same courtesy that demands he brings a gift no matter how small.

Stinginess and irresponsibility are running in your vein and I bind every such spirits in you this year.

Kid always leave matters of this kind to your elders to treat.
This matter is way too big for your reasoning.

Assuming the guy has been bringing something in his earlier visits, has he?


Why would not bringing this time be an issue..

Tell your mum to stop too much expectation, it breeds disappointment.

Fiancee = provider

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Olojukokoro family

@ OP, You guys are not yet married, but your family has given him a red flag. Try and talk to your mum that not all that glitters is gold.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

You wicked o!

YelloweWest:
Your mother is most likely concerned because your fiancee behaved like an uncultured fool.
How can u go to your future inlaw for the forst time empty hande? Did his father not each him anything??

According to the OP, that's not the first time. And he has been taking gifts along all these while. Just this single visit, the mum was complaining.

Are you still on this issue? The girl in question is a teenager!

luminouz:


What a rebound load of craaaap

Obey your moniker or are you dëaf?

Not everyone needs a hearing aid like your dad.

This matter is way too big for your reasoning.

Go suck on your mum's b000bs. And wait till Seun creates the kindergarten section. There you would have the chance to play Charlie Charlie with you peers.

WILLuKPquiet:


Kid this matter is way too big for your reasoning.

Go suck on your mum's b000bs. And wait till Seun creates the kindergarten section. There you would have the chance to play Charlie Charlie with you peers.

Obey ya moniker!!!!

WILLuKPquiet:



You must be the son of Lie Muhammed. Go back to the OP's post and point out where it was written he has been going there before with gifts. Must you lie to make a point?

The whites who says "you shouldn't have brought this" are saying it for courtesy. The same courtesy that demands he brings a gift no matter how small.

Stinginess and irresponsibility are running in your vain and I bind every such spirits in you this year.

Kid always leave matters of this kind to your elders to treat.
This matter is way too big for your reasoning.

Olodo read well next time..even for the first time, no be by force to carry biscuits there...its when you lack basic things you will start complaining that ur gf or bf didnt bring you bread and biscuits. Foolish hungry elder like you..better go and make money and stop expecting bread from visitors everytime . No elder with sense will get a moniker like yours...you are either a small broke jambite or a foolish elder that is looking for small gifts like bread and biscuits for every visit

You should have tried to know the reason he gave rather than hanging up on him.

descarado:

If it comes to this, the babe loses especially if the guy is a good guy.

Once parent start measuring the "love and care" their daughter gets from her man with material things, the man is taking note and will treat the wife or wife to be as property.i do hope babes take note.

Once parents start measuring the "love and care" their daughter gets from her man with material things, they are quickly able to decipher the stingy ones from the caring ones and save her from a marriage of sorrows.

"...For by their fruits you shall know them."