extol1:

because he didn't go with gift is now a bad behavior. no wonder I see reason why some men maltreat their wives after wedding

Because he came to visit the family with gifts, he will now start maltreating the wife?

He shouldn't have gone there empty handed and your mum shouldn't have complained and you shouldn't have told him directly.

Trayceey:
that's your family and not mine

I can see you're not ready to learn from your mistake

my opinion,I tinz he wasn't rite going empty because day did both Christmas and new year he did give dem anything at least we r still in d season of giving and receiving.thanks

My beloved go and reconcile with your fiance and forge ahead. Talk to your mother for there are better days ahead. Don't allow Devil to steal your joy with this minor issue. Your mother is not a saint, she is a human being, emotionally we should expect her to react being a son in-law to be, it's behoove on him to establish himself in the heart of the mother inlaw.
This is a sensitive matter, commenting because you have data but not making sense will not help our sister. When it concerns the issue of serious relationship/marriage, don't comment if you don't have marital experience because who no go no know. Our sister reaction is her level of understanding. Go and reconcile with your fiance and both of you should go and meet your mother.
For one on one Counseling, call/WhatsApp:-08181075096

Your entitlement mentality is wrong. Inasmuch it's expected of him to buy a present for your mum while visiting but it should not be made mandatory. I believe he has been giving you all the while and because he failed to give your mum a present in his visit, you want to ruin this relationship. I'm sure this is his first visit to your mum and will continue to visit her afterwards. Don't judge a book by its first cover page.

While your fiance might be wrong or right in different cultures and perceptions.

I only have one honest truth to tell you from personal experience.

That guy has automatically develop 50% dislike for your mum and it's irreversible.


MEN NEVER FORGETS!

Munzy14:

I don't think he is greedy...

The same guy fit go back there next week with a fully loaded goodies in his car trunk.

Na babe web calm down the enjoy her man.

I expected the babe to calm her mom down ,and iron issues codedly with her man...and not feeling entitled with flaring up...That guy might av gone there as a bait or fact finding mission, and I guess he got what he was looking for.

This relationship thing will always get tricky at a stage....Na wisdom u need to follow things jeje.

I agree, the babe did not act rightly. Calling your man to discuss the issue of gift is wrong.

GIANTPLUSHUB:


Traceey, we have passed that culture things. Now, everyone is trying to be careful and put somethings into test. You see, your man did nothing wrong at all.

How about he does not takes anything to your house but he gives you peace and comfort in marriage and always support if any situation arises in your own family side?

You need to think and go beg your man. So far he's a good guy to you. Somethings just need wisdom. Since he's into going to your house without buying something along. Next time, whenever he wants to go, try and meet him up and handover something to him to give them at home. Maybe as time goes on, he will get used to it. Do this with calm and good words, like you just want your family to see him as a more better good man.

All the very best.

at the bolded, my wife dey do am Wella. She knows me Na. Sometimes I will put my foot down and say I am not giving. She will bring out her own money and hand it to me to give to her people.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Ohhh! So he has visited your mum before and he got something for her... And your mum is making a fuss about this one time he didn't come with something and you're siding her... Wow! At this point i hope the guy is done with the relationship. You and your family don't deserve him, period... What manner of fuckery

idahme:



A leopard doesn't change its colour, as good as your advice seems the mum won't change even if she gets a new man.

It's the man that would change. Smh

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

that mean her mama like ijekuje translate ijekuje(Yoruba)

DontBullshitMe:
Family of poverty and wretchedness.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Babe stop the arguements abeg. What you and your mom did is wrong. Send a text to your guy and apologize

You are not just wrong both you and your mother are greedy fools.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Then your mother is a greedy thief.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

You and your mother are leeches that need to be avoided like a plague. Just imagine the seedy and queer feeling of over sense of entitlement! You mean he should have brought the market to your house just because he came to see your mother? And you have the effrontery to tell him that he'd have stayed back instead of coming empty handed.

This clearly shows that you and your mother are after his pocket, and not his genuine intention towards you.

osazsky:
biggest fool ever..so every time i go and c my inlaw i must go with cash or gift..how many times have ur wife given money to ur dad or mum..see simps everywhere.na now i know una mumu botton

Simp kill you there oponu. It's obvious you are a single mofo.

BusinessCity:




Go to your in laws place empty handed and after two weeks come create a thread about the aftermath of your action

Your response so far have been very mature. I had to go investigating and found the attached.
I agree with the person 95%. The 5% is for when you call people "fool" and "Ode"

descarado:

Nope, it's not done that way.

She knows the type of man she took home to her mum.
If the man didn't come with gift( nothing wrong with it, we usually visit people with gifts), it now behold on her mum to show him how it's done. Kill him with kindness.
Get some things, wrap in polyethene and give him to go home with. The mum can continue by calling him the next day to ask if he reached home safely, have eaten what I gave you etc, that way, u are drawing him close to you and at the same time changing his mindset.
Trust me, next time, he will go with truck loads of gifts.

My mum will never allow that man leave our house with nothing be it cooked food, foodstuff or fruits.

U are not doing that man a favour rather it's the opposite.
All these entitlement mentality.

it's not entitlement mentality! It's courtesy, if you know what that means and courtesy demands he doesn't go empty-handed, hence the red-flag he triggers. This is not even about tradition, this is universal and resonates with the law of give and take, sow and reap! The Bible says "the gift of a man makes way for him". The woman may not even be thinking of the gift as anything now but the thought of will the supposed fiance be able to take care of her daughter may just continually fills her mind.

GayPontiff:




E dey pain me pass say all these rubbish is given with the excuse that we are Africans and gift must be presented. Who enacted that stupid law?

God punish every idiiiiot that keeps dragging this race backward with their backwardness.

The guy should treat them with a ten ft pole onwards.
dont mind her they don't deserve him at all.

we are Africans,,,,,but they want same right as men as done in Europe,,,,,hypocrites everywhere

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

you & ur mom are wrong.. probably he didn't have much as at that time, you should have told ur mom to calm down that the next time he pay a visit, he's gonna come with goodies

JovialJune:



Honestly fa, I mean, it's annoying there are people taking sides with Op, when common sense should tell them that giving gifts is voluntary, not compulsory, very simple something that doesn't need thinking too hard na,

Different types of people dey sha, dem go dey show themselves small small online, it's a pity this is a faceless forum, we suppose seive the good ones from yeye ones so that people can take heed and beware, chai.

You are not wise to keep taking the guy should be excused. Come to marry her girl and come without gift. That relationship ends. Nonsense.

stupidmod2:
see ur self, soo anytime he comes he must come with something, girl see all the response u getting jeez.

REMEMBER THIS U WILL LEAVE WITH HUSBAND NOT WITH YOUR MOTHER.

Na this kain people go marry and allow their mother dictate their relationship and eventually ruin it... Fuckkk

WILLuKPquiet:


Must the guy go when the lady was not around? What has he gone to do. Oh greet Mummy. And must he still take anything offered him?
It is obvious he went to go and eat. E got disappointed food was not offered. He was offered drink and he still drank it shamelessly.
May be the woman in his presence sent kids to go and buy him a bottle of Coke.

He still carry mouth drink am.

Shamelessness is what it's called.

Nonsense and idiocracy.

You should literally obey your moniker...

What a load of bullcrap

Sarita01:


my mom doesn't go to her in-laws house without buying things for them, if she goes to the village and she doesn't have anything to give, she will just stay at her father's house, though people are different but it's weird just going to your woman's house without bearing gifts, especially if that woman is your SM, if it's normal LT sef we no go reason the matter serious serious but your main babe(fiance for that matter), haba na how you take reason am.

it's not about entitlement mentality cos I can see guys already yarning their normal yarn, according to the op's story, her boyfriend was the one who offered to go see her mom, nobody invited him, even when the girl said she wasn't at home, the nigga still did strong head, enter motor only to go and gist and laugh, nawa for am o, who does that abeg.

The whites that Nigerians love to copy so much(if you watch their movies), they don't visit their partner's parents empty handed, sometime they go with a bottle of wine or go with other stuff, it's simple courtesy for Christ's sake, is it that Nigerians only copy the bad stuff and leave the good ones. ayam not understanding

They aint married yet.
It wasn't his first visit to her mom. He has done so in d past bearing gifts.
I salute his boldness and wanting to bond with the lady, but then her greed speaks volume.
She has successfully put discord in d relationship.make she marry her daughter.
No law states he should bear gifts. He also is lucky to see this part. He can safely take a walk.

Afromentalist:

Please give me the contact of your ex fiance. He needs to be congratulated and warned against ever getting back in this toxic relationship where a stupid and non discerning Lady will disrespect him hang up on him because her mother was too greedy to appreciate common courtesy.

Nonsense and ingredients

Harsh... But then, the truth is never comforting.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

marriage has now become a place u lobby or ecpect. for material things...tueh

You know all this poverty people sef, poverty will mess up your sense of reasoning a times. I just can't comprehend the big deal in serving a visitor a drink.

Biglittlelois:



I cringed when I saw the bolded, is it that your fiance can't eat in your parent's house? Cos I don't understand what you mean by her drink, una nor dey entertain visitors? Smh!!!