BRATISLAVA:


If you think they are poor, why did the mother serve the empty-handed boyfriend?

She could as well have felt she doesn't have to give him anything every time he visits. She shouldn't have served him anything for that reason.

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

izzou:


Whatever hold you feel she has on you, you are an adult. Learn to discern and apply some wisdom

Your mom was not happy with his actions? Fine.

You could just plead with your boyfriend to apologize to her. It's more respectful than asking him why he didn't bring anything

You have just given him a bad impression about your family, especially your mum.

Don't blame him if he thinks your mum is greedy, or going to be difficult

It would have been averted

Afromentalist:

She already said it was not the first time.

izzou:


Then she stop whining about not receiving any gift. She is definitely rich enough to let go

Miarose:
you and your mother are too hungry. Respect and courtesy >> gift.

providencia:
Haha..asking a nigerian girl that? Some don't even know if they are! How many times have you approach a girl and she will tell you outrightly she has a boyfriend. Send her a pm. Along the line, you will get a clue

Fiscus105:



For him to come to in-law house, not his own martenal house o ,empty handed not even when he is yet to marry their daughter Is enough to know one character, don't forget he also got angry instead of remorse when she told him how her mother felt, such fiance is animal in human skin.

If she ever marries him she will regret

GayPontiff:




E dey pain me pass say all these rubbish is given with the excuse that we are Africans and gift must be presented. Who enacted that stupid law?

God punish every idiiiiot that keeps dragging this race backward with their backwardness.

An apple doesn't fall far from d tree.

The guy should treat them with a ten ft pole onwards. Bonding with a woman he is looking forward to call mom is now a crime.
They don't deserve him at all.

Trayceey:
and you are a mad man.

so many nairaland boys are broke and this is why they're so pained on this issue. You won't blame them though. This country is messed up

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Trayceey:
I'm not defending my mum. You know these mothers always have a hold on us

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

BRATISLAVA:


The gift thing seems to be the traditional way people go about making their intentions known, in Nigeria. He definitely knew that. If it were about money, they wouldn't have given him anything, but the mother did so s part of her traditional role.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

BRATISLAVA:


The gift thing seems to be the traditional way people go about making their intentions known, in Nigeria. He definitely knew that. If it were about money, they wouldn't have given him anything, but the mother did so s part of her traditional role.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

izzou:


Did you not read where she said he had visited before and brought gifts?



Everybody is always traditional online.

Pray tell, does the in-law in your family bring a gift every single time he visits?

The young man (a boyfriend) came to visit and there's already wailings that he didn't bring anything. I wonder what would happen if he brings nothing after marrying her

Na to end the marriage remain.

Trayceey:
I'm not regretting. As a matter of fact. I'm having fun

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

donbachi:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

Liposure:
our tradition is petty

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

orgylover:
this is why i tell guys and girls to avoid poor bastards. i visitted my fiancee and her bro wanted to buy me a laptop worth 400k. my fiancee visited me and my sis gave her 22k gold chain. death to peasants

BRATISLAVA:


Context is important.

Most people who think they aren't traditional online are the ones who lick the in-laws feet in reality.

Most, if not all, Nigerians follow the traditional way when getting married, and there are certain expectations that accompany it, so acting like it doesn't exist doesn't fly. One of the marriage traditions is the giving of gifts. If such tradition did not exist, why did the mother still serve him anything?

Even when people visit your regular friends, they always go with a gift, so what's the big deal in this case?

So he brought a gift before means he mustnever give one again? Why does he want to traditionally see her parents but doesn't want to be traditional the rest of the way?

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.