TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

izzou:


I think you're typing too much and saying less

The mother is complaining that he brought nothing and even sad that she offered him a drink without getting nothing in return.

That's petty to me. Very petty.

He's not even her husband. Just a boyfriend. The probability of them not marrying is there. At this point, he is not an in-law, and cannot be treated as such.

Stop talking about giving gifts. Nobody is saying it's bad to give gifts

People are only talking about the entitlement mentality a mother and daughter decided to have.

He's her boyfriend and it ends at that. The moment he comes for introduction and traditional, we can start talking differently

It's that simple

oluwaseyi0:


What about the previous gift he came with? It has expired and gift must be renewed at every single damn visit? Don't you think you are the kid here?

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

BRATISLAVA:


He's her fiance. Why don't you read the topic and her post objectively?

NeoWanZaeed:
She talk say na 1st visit. .if its n0t 1st visit. The guy should run for his life

Remson23:
I deeply feel irritated at reading this. Simply put, you have to change your impaired mentality. What you are fighting your boyfriend for was what I got embarrassed for doing. I regretted doing it and it still pains me anytime I remember. For clarity sake, let me share my own little experience when I visited my girlfriend's family for the first time: I went to their place on a Saturday evening. I met only my girlfriend and two of her siblings at home. She welcomed and offered me some drinks but I didn't take anything. I was told to wait for her parents that they would join us shortly. After about 45 mins her mum came back from a ceremony she went and later, her dad. My girlfriend knew that I might have a plan of giving them something but she begged me not to do anything of sort - as she found it unnecessary and ridiculous. I didn't yield to her plea. When I was about leaving, I brought out some new 500 notes (about 10k) that I purposely earmarked for the aim of giving her parents. When I handed the money to her father in the presence of the mother and my girlfriend, my girlfriend frowned immediately and felt so embarrassed that she covered her face. Her father asked why I gave them money. He blatantly told me that it was not needed. He told me to keep my money. He and the mother said to me that from their thorough observations, they like me and my personality. They gave me some words of encouragement about my life and career. They told me to always report their daughter to them anytime she does me wrong..... and that they would not spare her if found guilty. Finally, they prayed for me and told me to wait till we are ready to get married before bringing anything for them. Although I liked how they showed support for us but I still felt so embarrassed. After my meeting with them, my girlfriend was so upset with me. She asked me why I still went ahead to give them something despite the fact that she had earlier told me not to. I apologized to her and promised not to do that again. Her parents still call me till now and we still keep in touch. I pray never to have any romantic affair with someone like the OP. It would be so frustrating and annoying.

oluwaseyi0:

She later clarified it's not the first visit, he visited with gifts previously

NeoWanZaeed:
She talk say na 1st visit. .if its n0t 1st visit. The guy should run for his life

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

BRATISLAVA:


The gift thing seems to be the traditional way people go about making their intentions known, in Nigeria. He definitely knew that. If it were about money, they wouldn't have given him anything, but the mother did so s part of her traditional role.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

izzou:


A fiance with no introduction or traditional marriage is still a boyfriend, according to my Igbo tradition

Fiance that is coming to see the mum for the second time?

You should be the one reading objectively, sir

Trayceey:
must you be insulting? With the way you sound, u re not responsible and reasonable enough, so your opinion doesn't count

Trayceey:
you must be broke.
so many nairaland boys are broke and this is why they're so pained on this issue. You won't blame them though. This country is messed up

oluwaseyi0:

What about the gift that the young man gave the woman on his previous visit? It has expired and no longer count?

Biglittlelois:



I cringed when I saw the bolded, is it that your fiance can't eat in your parent's house? Cos I don't understand what you mean by her drink, una nor dey entertain visitors? Smh!!!

MummyD2020:


God bless u. The story is kind of dicey for me honestly. He could have just done it even though it's not compulsory. It doesnt take anything away from him. In life, no matter how disciplined or a no non sense person we claim to be, there are times we can just let go of somethings to make peace reign or to fulfil all righteousness. Somethings we consider here in Africa are absurd . Some people here calling name will get something for the woman in order to win her heart. Let's be honest

BRATISLAVA:


Read objectively.

You were claiming he is not the fiance, hence your much typing. She said he is. You aren't either of them to claim otherwise.

Now, tell us more about your ideas of what fiance's can and must never do.

Mariangeles:


We are Africans. Let us be honest with ourselves.

A man going alone to visit his would-be mother in-law empty handed is a red flag. Something to worry about.
What was the purpose of the visit?
Even as a female, it is still wrong to go visit the mother of the man you're going to marry empty handed.

Mariangeles:


I don't agree with you, but we can understand a verse of the scripture differently, depending on how it was ministered to us.

DEBJOCH1:
. PLEASE CAN I VISIT YOU?

Xmen149:


this is the same thing I was trying to say since.

A true igbo parent eh sofar they have not given you list and you finish traditional marriage requirements. they will never collect pin from you bcs they will be feeling they are pimping their child.

they will even be advising their daughter not to collect anything from you so that even if she change her mind tomorrow she can go freely.

someone and her mother is out there collecting gift from her boyfriend and complaining he is no longer bringing it again they are telling me it's igbo culture.

Chujor1634:
Your mentality and that of your mum is so annoying, to think that you had to even call him him instead of talking sense to your mum is the height of it all.

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was

 nothing h
e could bring that we don't have and he knew 
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[code][/code]it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

BRATISLAVA:


People should never repeat giving you a gift, or what are you trying to say?

colestephan86:

You are a fool.
Even if he is not going to marry the babe , how much is a bottle of non alcoholic wine.
You are seeing an elderly Person for the first time. What did he go there to discuss with the woman.

izzou:


I think you're typing too much and saying less

The mother is complaining that he brought nothing and even sad that she offered him a drink without getting nothing in return.

That's petty to me. Very petty.

He's not even her husband. Just a boyfriend. The probability of them not marrying is there. At this point, he is not an in-law, and cannot be treated as such.

Stop talking about giving gifts. Nobody is saying it's bad to give gifts

People are only talking about the entitlement mentality a mother and daughter decided to have.

He's her boyfriend and it ends at that. The moment he comes for introduction and traditional, we can start talking differently

It's that simple