Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

I expected you to talk to your mum properly by covering for ur finacee instead u are even quarrelling with him .when u visited his parents did u go with gifts?

bukatyne:


Ra Ankara ko gba semo

I swearrr....

SweetCunt97:
But you know it ain't cool to go see an intending in law empty handed nwokem. The lady no wise though

Aunty there is nothing like intending inlaws, there are not in laws yet till he pays her dowry, this is just ordinary boyfriend girlfriend relationship, that i want to become an engineer doesnt make me one, that i want to become a medical doctor doesnt make me one till i go to medical school and graduate.
Being a fiance doesnt make the girls family an in law, a fiancee is still just her boyfriend. A typical lady wondnt even marry her first, second or third fiance as things might not work out, it might be the fourth one that she will be married to. Now the first, second and third fiances, are they in laws to the girls parents?

This lady has to change her moniker o..i have taken note of her name.anytime she makes a conteibution on nl i go dey follow am up with insults and how cheap she is including her entire family

[quote author=TransAtlanticEx post=97809513]Swears
I always tell people to avoid poor women as much as possible,it's for reason like this.
Personally I'd rather die single than have anything to do with this class of women.
Bread for that matter,Ha! [/quote
Did she mention bread in her write up?

osazsky:
imo o..we all left from edo state cuz he is my childhood friend..after his marraige his catfish biz of over 7k fishes folded up ..this na tru storry o nor be norllywood..na we come dey tip the guy small small thing make e for meet up.as a guy i nor fit see my friend dey suffer make i nor tip am small thing..the guy done they get up back but he doesnt treat his wife well its so sad

I talk am.

Lol,.like I said I no won go further.

Na only them know the kind local Yahoo they run there and vex all other part of the east when they and external generalize it as igbo culture.

My brother is marrying from abia,. another is marrying from us..so I know everything am saying

[quote author=MorningStar233 post=97864896][/quote]it has to be bread...from the way the mum reacted it has to be bread.or banana and groundnut.i am certain

Me I don’t have anything to say but to thank all the people that fired that girl. May god bless una then make una try check on her I no wan hear say person drink sniper o cos of internet bullying or wareva

Xmen149:


A real igbo mother will feel like she is pimping her daughter out by collecting anything from him.

My mum then collected all the gift my sister received from the guy that wanted to marry her and kept in her room. instructed the guy not to bring her self anything.

told my sister to take time study the guy and if she change her mind so they can easily return his gifts that the man may not hold anything against her.

boyfriend is boyfriend,if you like baptize it fiance.
If he hasn't paid bride price he is not in-law he is boyfriend.

They don't know that a man who go to his inlaw house with gift always is buying their conscience. That's bribery not courtesy. You will be blinded by what he brings you won't see the man behind those gifts and advice your daughter accordingly.
Some parents will outrightly say no simply cos you are always coming to their house with gifts. I know parents that rejected gifts and strongly warned against that.

I'm surprised people said it's African culture
Have they travelled around All the tribes in Africa to know what's obtainable there.
It's not part of my culture. Rather, it's part of my culture to give your visitors gift to go home with.

Mariangeles:


I don't agree with you, but we can understand a verse of the scripture differently, depending on how it was ministered to us.

Aunty pls hide under your bed and dont come out again, what did u just say?

shantti:


Aunty there is nothing like intending inlaws, there are not in laws yet till he pays her dowry, this is just ordinary boyfriend girlfriend relationship, that i want to become an engineer doesnt make me one, that i want to become a medical doctor doesnt make me one till i go to medical school and graduate.
Being a fiance doesnt make the girls family an in law, a fiancee is still just her boyfriend. A typical lady wondnt even marry her first, second or third fiance as things might not work out, it might be the fourth one that she will be married to. Now the first, second and third fiances, are they in laws to the girls parents?

Lol,.see the matter my brother.

intending in-law,.fiance..Na ala igbo.

Hathor5:


You will not look awkward. They will appreciate it but not demand it and on your first visit you better get her something too.

Yes you will look awkward. It’s not her birthday, Christmas or her wedding anniversary.

You can get her favourite flowers and not the sort of present Traceey’s mother would expect.

Again that culture and habit of expecting presents isn’t very good. It has to stop

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Savage

descarado:

They don't know that a man who go to his inlaw house with gift always is buying their conscience. That's bribery not courtesy. You will be blinded by what he brings you won't see the man behind those gifts and advice your daughter accordingly.
Some parents will outrightly say no simply cos you are always coming to their house with gifts. I know parents that rejected gifts and strongly warned against that.

I'm surprised people said it's African culture
Have they travelled around All the tribes in Africa to know what's obtainable there.
It's not part of my culture. Rather, it's part of my culture to give your visitors gift to go home with.

My brother. i comot my eye from their matter since oh. till they start arguing that it's igbo culture.

do you even know that the girl in question is a single mother ..wey suppose Mello enter man house. E come dey shout ontop guy say e no buy em mama biscuits...What mana of fukkkry is this

Fiscus105:

Means business? Can he do the business successful? That's question you should ask urself

A wise mother had seeeeeeeeeen that, if a guy that has not entered their house completely, can be so insensitive like this,.......how much is Eva? Soap, etc. The fiance action is enough to know he not matured enough to be calling responsible man,.... A man ready to carry responsibilities of wife and kids, just like you and others are complaining.

If he bought something and mother complained it was too small, that would have been a different story.

This one na wetin Redpillers in Nairaland dey call simp.

Hathor5:


What is surprising about it?

let's talk via email

Yes, you were wrong

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

TransAtlanticEx:
Are you sure you really wanna do this?
Cos I'm ready when you are.
Feed me and my family( a whole my family ooo) for ages yet your mama dey want kill herself say your fiance no buy bread for am?.
Why not use that money weh you want use am feed me and my generation buy your mama provisions keep for house na
And somehow its from this miserly,miserable existence that you wanna feed my family(really rich ) from?
My eldest sister got married in 2004,in 2003 when the man came for introduction,he wore shorts and was empty handed.
You know why?There was nothing he could bring that we don't have and he knew it
What you could have done sef to even cover your bf is send some money to your thirsty mom and claim your bf sent it,but instead you fought with him over it,maybe because you and your mama don plan as una go share the stipends weh the guy suppose bring,
Yet a bottom feeder like you wants to feed my generation?

Bros, person no fit play with you again? Haba, e never reach like that na.

God punish poverty Lafff... I will advice that guy if he was my friend not to such girl...

Trayceey:
I Need Your Opinion On This Issue That's Threatening My Relationship

My fiance wanted to come to the house to see my mum but I told him I won't be around because I'm about heading out to somewhere, so he asked me if my mum would be around, then I said yes and he said he would still go to see her and it doesn't matter if I'm not around.

When I later got home that night, my mum complained that he came empty handed. He didn't bring anything for her and she was the one who offered him her drink.

Although initially, I didn't see anything wrong with that but when my mum expressed her displeasure, I later called him to ask why he came to the house empty handed then I let him know I wasn't happy with him, that it would have been better if he didn't come. He tried arguing with me but I hung up.

Since then, we haven't spoken to each other nor visited each other. Was I wrong?

Trayceey:
I've tried to delete it. It's not working. How do I go about it? Okay. Thanks

You're not removing anything.
Someone needs to beat some sense into you, cos the distance between you and sense is enormous.

I love your sincerity but since it was not the first time, you shouldn't have been angry with your fiancee....you should have talked to your mom in a mature way....pls go and reconnect with your guy with a good kiss









quote author=Trayceey post=97810401] not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed[/quote]

ceeceeuwa:

All the female in your family are stupid and will remain miserable for the rest of their lives. Amen!
If you cannot be civil with discussions, then fvck off my mention!

it is your generations that do beg for crumbs and expecting any visitors that pay you poverty stricken fellows a visit you should expect he should be coming and feed you before starvation finishes off your family.
You're cursed with poverty and so shall it be till you fools turn a new leaf.
Bastard fellow
You be idiot

descarado:

They don't know that a man who go to his inlaw house with gift always is buying their conscience. That's bribery not courtesy. You will be blinded by what he brings you won't see the man behind those gifts and advice your daughter accordingly.
Some parents will outrightly say no simply cos you are always coming to their house with gifts. I know parents that rejected gifts and strongly warned against that.

I'm surprised people said it's African culture
Have they travelled around All the tribes in Africa to know what's obtainable there.
It's not part of my culture. Rather, it's part of my culture to give your visitors gift to go home with.

she was even on another thread advising another guy to go and bang another persons wife.. imagine the kind upbringing she had use am imagine the kind request being made on bringing gifts.

The Mr intentnding inlwa na struggling guy oh.

He better Go do Thanksgiving

Trayceey:
thanks. You're right. It's festive season and that's the more reason it became a problem.

A twist in the tale.
Poverty is dealing with your family mercilessly.

Trayceey:
you must be broke.
so many nairaland boys are broke and this is why they're so pained on this issue. You won't blame them though. This country is messed up

But your mother crying over a loaf of bread is not broke.

Trayceey post=97810401] not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed[/quote]





Pls go and beg him
Thank God for ur sincerity by telling us he brought something for his first visit

Fiscus105:



Why won't she? Going to ur in law place around festive period and you go thr empty handed, Whc type of careless and insensitive fiance is that, such guy will not be sensitive to pay sch fees and dropping food money in future, if she tries to marry such animal


Yoruba will say..... Ko moju Ko Mora (one who doesn't know what is shameful)

Can u imagine how you paint someone evil, because a boyfriend did not buy a gift for his girlfriends mum on one of his visits( he bought gift for the mum on his first visit) he is now a potential bad father, bad husband and bad in law, i know u must be a woman,
Let me ask u a question, the guy you are dating, assuming he stays with his mum, will u be buying her gifts per visitation keeping in mind that u will be visiting like thrice per week. I know the answer in no, so does that now means you are insensitive, irresponsible and bad. Judging someone personality using ordinary gift as a yardstick,I spit in disgust at your reasoning, u need therapy, counselling, deliverance(six, become one wont be enough), rehabilitation,sermon, preaching, exercise( to improve brain function), early morning sun, fruits, vegetables( to improve brain function), milk, surgery, brain transplant, head transplant, yoga, sex, strolling, love and care, education, career, talent, passion, wisdom, exorcism, water, discipline, incantation and chloroquine injection

Trayceey:
must you be insulting? With the way you sound, u re not responsible and reasonable enough, so your opinion doesn't count

Yes, he's not responsible and reasonable cos he spat out the truth will you gtfo

KosiGee:



Yes you will look awkward. It’s not her birthday, Christmas or her wedding anniversary.

You can get her favourite flowers and not the sort of present Traceey’s mother would expect.

Again that culture and habit of expecting presents isn’t very good. It has to stop

Like I said, they will appreciate it though not expect or demand it.

The Preservation of Culture Committee will disagree.

UnBanEbenezer:
let's talk via email

Sorry, not possible.

Fiscus105:



For him to come to in-law house, not his own martenal house o ,empty handed not even when he is yet to marry their daughter Is enough to know one character, don't forget he also got angry instead of remorse when she told him how her mother felt, such fiance is animal in human skin.

If she ever marries him she will regret

Thank God you are not a marriage counsellor, imagine how many happy homes you would have destroyed with idiotic mentaltlity, imagine how a human reasons