This matter is serious oo. The guy just need to be prayerful as well. I fear if this woman won’t engage herself in juju stuffs, just to make sure her children and husband are not happy. I feel for you man, it is very serious. Some people are advising him to leave the house, not even considering the fact that his younger ones might not be able to take care of his Dad, and the mother won’t care. Imagine!! Your own Mom is your burden when I always miss mine that she’s no more. Ile aiye!! God will help you bro

boxer022:
My brother I have gone through what you wrote and I must confess it is really touching. My advice for you is that since she has abandoned all her wifely duties and motherly duties due to the reason stated, try as much as you can to take care of your younger ones and especially your father. My ernest wish and prayer is that your father does not die from this situation due to hypertension. Talk to him, take very good care of him, console him also, I know he is going through much stress from thinking, please also appeal to him not to give up and wish for his early death because of what he is passing through from your mom. He should console himself knowing he has children who are capable of taking good care of him. As for your mom since she wants to be isolated from the rest of the family, please grant her wish, discuss with your younger ones to dissociate themselves from her, treating her as she is not part of the family. When she sees that you all are taking adequate care of yourselves and your dad I know she will have a rethink. If she doesn't then it is left to her to live her life as she has decided for herself. Less I forget, don't distance yourselves from your uncles and aunties from both sides of the family, go to them for support and advice.

Thank God that you and your siblings have not been influenced by her negativity...u know sometimes we need to use our head otherwise we will believe everything our parents tell us...I remember growing up, we were meant to believe that my step mom and her children were bad and evil...but over the years, I realized that it was my mom's side that was the problem...this people we were told to runaway from are more successful and more caring than even my so called siblings...the point is that, it is going to be difficult to change your mom's attitude..it has been with her for ever...pray for her and try your best to get out of the house if you have the capacity.. take care of your dad...he get why

Don't take all the advice's on page 1
Your mum is your mum, and no matter what, you should treat her well.
Your mum is in pains, she's deeply wounded, she's acting like a wounded dog. It could be from childhood or during her young age, she wasn't understood, everyone always blame her, no one listened to her, and thus she already see everyone as an enemy, and she doesn't care if the whole world see her as a bad person any longer, she will always fight when she feels cheated or wrong

Prolong injustice is usually the cause of such bitterness and anger to everyone, and how people always support the oppressor and fight the oppressed. This made her to detach her love from everyone, because she sees them as evil and that no matter how she behaves, they are there to blame her.

The truth is you are part of the problem including your father, maybe she's used to you sideing your father without listening to her own side of the story and she joined you in her mind with the people she has termed evil.
Truth is, many a times we blame the victims in this part of the world. And I have seen it a quite number of times, especially people that fight everyone, they are usually the victims.

Have you ever taken your time to see the reasons she despises the people she despise? Sometimes, neighbours would look for her trouble because they want to show the world that she's always fighting everyone

In her mind, you are a bastarrd, because she also see how other people's children treat their mothers like goddesses, and you don't.
All her curses are from pains, and fighting neighbours are from pains. She's a wounded soul and she needs treatment, the only way to heal your mother is to through love.

In this part of the world, people like pinching people they perceive weak, or with a problem. It goes in two forms, the victim will become stupid and dumb when people pinch her or even beg them or do what they want, and in the other case, she becomes a wild dog herself, because she's already expecting people's pinches

You said she didn't forgive your uncle after 20years of marriage, do you know if he attempt to rape her or even raped her? Will you forgive such person after 50years?and she wasn't able to speak or say to anyone, it could be an offence higher than that as well. I saw this happened to a friend after marriage. So please, you can't just assume until you know.

Don't be useless, prostrate and beg your mum with a teary eyes,why she's what she is. Only she has the answers

Is your mom and ijebu woman. Cos you just painted the pic of an ijebu neighbor I lived with in ibadan. Haa. Shes a very huge woman, she fought almost everybody in our street then. Anytime she shouts, d whole street trembles. Hahaha. Iya Sade was a terror. She kept malice with her husband for six months till that man died of stroke. She kept d body of d man indoors for 5days without announcing, until one of her kids came bk from sch to see d callous act. Fear ijebu women oooo. Dem sabi keep malice.

Btw, Op i think your mother is your cross and you've to carry it, I just pray she's not into juju, cos she could kill u all with juju with no remorse.

You are not her target, your father is her main target. There is something between them that she has not been able to forgive. Let her know you should not be used to get to her husband.
Appeal to her calmly sometime and be stern some other times. Make sure you accord her respect at all times and do not be afraid to tell her when she goes too far.
Do not give her chance to rain curses on you, Caution her sincerely. If she won't pray for you, she should not curse you.
Remember, she is your mother and not your God.
I was a victim, today we are fine .

kennywagz:
Thanks for your advices, that's what I will do cause people work on their selves if they fill they have insecurities or characters they feel is killing them and they should do away with.. She likes being like that, embracing solitude and expecting others to follow you to it... You cannot be singing and laughing beside her, except she is in a good mood to laugh as well

It's a psychiatric problem

Your mum may somehow be related to Anthony Joshua,

Go and check her DNA!

Are you a he or a she?

Kriss216:

Do what makes her happy?? Is she God?

very stupid statement..he should do what makes her happy at his own detriment..

foleskay:
Is your mom and ijebu woman. Cos you just painted the pic of an ijebu neighbor I lived with in ibadan. Haa. Shes a very huge woman, she fought almost everybody in our street then. Anytime she shouts, d whole street trembles. Hahaha. Iya Sade was a terror. She kept malice with her husband for six months till that man died of stroke. She kept d body of d man indoors for 5days without announcing, until one of her kids came bk from sch to see d callous act. Fear ijebu women oooo. Dem sabi keep malice.

Btw, Op i think your mother is your cross and you've to carry it, I just pray she's not into juju, cos she could kill u all with juju with no remorse.

It has nothing to do with origin actually

bootycapon:
You are not her target, your father is her main target. There is something between them that she has not been able to forgive. Let her know you should not be used to get to her husband.
Appeal to her calmly sometime and be stern some other times. Make sure you accord her respect at all times and do not be afraid to tell her when she goes too far.
Do not give her chance to rain curses on you, Caution her sincerely. If she won't pray for you, she should not curse you.
Remember, she is your mother and not your God.
I was a victim, today we are fine .

Exactly, she's in pains, she's deeply wounded, she's acting like a wounded dog. She needs to say everything out, maybe she grew up with people not listening to her and always blaming her for everything, especially when she was right, this made her to think everyone would do the same thing and does,she's ready to fight everyone.
Injustice is usually the cause of such bitterness and anger to everyone because its not normal

Kingosytex:
At the bolded....

I don't like the idea of quoting a whole writeup just to respond to a line of emboldened text. It's wasteful and inefficient.

Sobasojek:

It has nothing to do with origin actually

You're right sha.

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

1. Don't ever raise your hand against your parent.

2. You are looking at the symptoms not the cause.

3. Start showing her unusual love, love is the antidote for hatred.

4. No woman wants anyone to take her role as wife in her home, so look for a way to carry her along in making decisions as regards cooking etc. Let her feel she is in charge, you are just helping g out.

5. If you are a Christian, ask the Holy Spirit to transform her.

You should have moved out

Your mum is suffering from deep depression. If she were abroad, she would have been seeing a psychologist abi psychiatrist.

Besides that, not all mothers have motherly qualities just as not all father's have fatherly qualities.

This is why you don't force people into marriage. The marriage and the children will suffer.

There is nothing you can do. Retaliating will only make you become like her and that's not what you want.

Ignore her and maintain peace.

stonemasonn:
It's a psychological problem,
Your mother will only get worse with age except she gets professional help.

I think u are right about this cos I'm actually facing almost the same issue with my mom....She would flare up at petty issues, almost quarreled with everyone in the community, she will curse u when she's provoked (the children inclusive), she likes to make sure her decision is final even life issues related to her children (who does that). She's caring tho but her toxic nature is something else. No matter the lady u brings home, she will surely embarrass u in their presence. She has been like that right from time, right now she's in her mid 60's.

I'm the last child, can't just leave her here alone, if not I for don japa...My elder brothers keeps talking to her Abt such toxic attitude but she wouldn't listen

prayers bro, just prayers and patience will do the trick. she is still your mom no doubt. just tolerate her and keep showing her love. shalom

Am 20 and still in school, if school has resumed now... I'd leave and be free of all this her characters and attitudes, she just left for work this morning like she always do and come back late at night and sleep. This has been going close to 5 months now

Leeme get a clear paint of you,
before my advice...
1..Are you male or female?
2... How old are you?
3... Who is currently the breadwinner of the family? Your dad or your mom?

Linkuizzy524:
Leeme get a clear paint of you, before my advice...
Are you male or female?

He said he is Male, 20 years

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

God forbid bad thing. Please, just try and endure. Only God can change her. Do what you do for your siblings and leave the rest for God to handle.

SIGNS OF WITCHCRAFT

No offence. Some people have bad spirits living in them without their knowledge, they only manifest the nature of the Spirit at times.

Fine your mum have all this characteristics and still she want all her kids to join her to fight anybody she have misunderstanding with including your father.i guess but she is not a believer of Christ/Allah.she thought his children didn't love her and make her more bitter.show her love buy her surprise gift, even though she insulted you and cause you, don't let her know you are hurt you can write a letter or message her on phone,tell her how much you love her, you can change her.gradually gradually she will change.but you have more work to do,to bring peace to your family.is not too late pass the same information to your siblings they don't need to buy her gift but their is little things they can do,like iron her cloth,watch her clothes just try how to put smile in her face.who knows she may have a long time trauma that nobody knows and that maybe affecting her.

hmmm deep and saddening.....i think your mum need spiritual counselling and deliverance.....her hatred and bitterness is too deep...this is beyond the ordinary

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

That's my mom.My own mom will even cry join after giving us hell.

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

every habit can be changed but not the ones in the blood... search for a good life for ya self N ya siblings N move far away...... u guys just about to started ya own life so don't live in the shadows of her own mystery..... but never tarnish ya parent no matter what's takes good cared of her too when God bless

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

my mother is not so much as your mother.. But talk about sulking and talking too much chei... I think your mother had a traumatic upbringing, reason for her unexplainable bitterness....

If you are the first son like me, there's little you can do, but you have to try your best for her, love her never the less, try educating her that her behavior is because the things she has past through while growing up, if she's like my mother who is always ready to learn she will see reason with you and start adjusting, note: she will probably verbally abuse you when you do this, but inside her she will start thinking about it (typical African parent)

Make her see that her attitude is the reason why people are always quarreling with her and that those bad things she wishes on people can happen to her because the world is rotating and it can be anybody at anytime....

you have no problem. your father is to be blame.

ccollins:
u look very familiar.do u stay at looking /Shanghai axis around oil.we have met be4.chat me up on my number below in my signature

I don't stay there. Its an old picture tho.

foleskay:
Is your mom and ijebu woman. Cos you just painted the pic of an ijebu neighbor I lived with in ibadan. Haa. Shes a very huge woman, she fought almost everybody in our street then. Anytime she shouts, d whole street trembles. Hahaha. Iya Sade was a terror. She kept malice with her husband for six months till that man died of stroke. She kept d body of d man indoors for 5days without announcing, until one of her kids came bk from sch to see d callous act. Fear ijebu women oooo. Dem sabi keep malice.

Btw, Op i think your mother is your cross and you've to carry it, I just pray she's not into juju, cos she could kill u all with juju with no remorse.

This is hilarious

Karleb:
That is the woman your father chose.

The blame is on him.

It seems they've been married for long. So, it might be an arranged marriage by the man's parents.

It may not really be his choice, but the parents shove their choice down his throat. He had to accept so as not to be cursed by his parents.

Now, the parents are dead. The man is now bearing the brunt of their forced choice.