₦airaland Forum

I honestly know how you feel bro but that is your own cross god gave to you pls handle it with care and prayer or else it will end in premium tears for you cos your mum will always be your mum.

Talk to your dad to settle whatever rift between him and his wife for the sake of the children..

Find a way to know the best time to talk to your mom and apologize for all the disrespect and wrong things you have done to her and advice her to sheild her sword for the same of God and children.


Next time, don't interfere in their marriae...just take care of your father and siblings if she does not do it.
Your mother is your mother and nobody can replace..no any one mother that is perfect bro..they are just better than each other..
Your mother need prayer from than anger because the voice of children prayers to their parents is easily answered and accepted.

Peace!

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

CrestMan:
It doesn't matter the kind of parent you have, it should never ever happen that you fought your parent. It's a curse! Imagine a new born baby today - the parent took care of the baby while he couldn't help himself in anyway. That same little baby now grows up and decide to fight that same parent that took care of him while he couldn't help himself. God, life and nature will fight against that child.

Remember, as long as your parents are alive, you are still their child even if you are now 80 years old!

God bless you.

What is this one saying? So a baby just grows up and decides to fights his parents for no just cause?

Can’t you read what the op wrote up there? Should he kuma commit suicide because he has a bitter mother that is frustrating him and he doesn’t want to hit??

Bros, give op a more reasonable advice to tackle the issue, not some fear incited one.

I was tempted not to believe but i have a blood sister who behaves worse so i can relate

Icetech:
My brother, what kind of work does your mother do that makes her come back late in the night and for that matter goes straight to the bed and sleeps off?
The bitter truth is that she is in a relationship with someone else, they have good time out there every day before she comes back.

My Advice... Track her and see if you can pin something on her. Make sure you get an evidence if possible, then you have won!

Your father can now officially divorce her based on infidelity and you people can be free..

At the bolded, bro I really think so.

What the Op wrote was almost what happened to my uncle and the cause was that she was into another relationship.

Kingosytex:
It is very likely she is fed up.

The above scenario almost played out in my uncle's life.

Okay. I guess she feels trapped in it then.

Teaveapoet:
I don't stay there. Its an old picture tho.

u are Vivian? Still Ur face hasn't changed tho.u don't stay in okoko ajangbadi around ojo lga anylonger?

merieam16:
If u really wana live in peace with her do wat makes her happy or jejely leave the house and av ur peace

if you dont have better thing to say with your mouth u better shut it..

Bro this is the work of the devil and only Jesus can help you.
The problem is beyond your Mother it is spiritual.
Love her, respect her, pray for her. Raise up prayer alter in your family with your siblings.
Let the light of God shine and dispel every darkness in your family.
Be patient and look up to God for salvation.

But you need to be born again so that you can become a spiritual force for God in your family.
To be born again - Acknowledge your sinful nature, confess your sins to God, repent from them and invite Jesus into your heart as Lord as Saviour.
God bless you.

Bro for the sake of your dad, don't leave that man alone, mom is angry cos she feel she's unimportant sinx u cooking for the house. she uses that as weapon before but it seems that is not working this time around hence the anger.
it cud be painful if u have parent like this but u have no choice than to have a wise , clever way of dealing with her and d family.

Juliearth:
Okay. I guess she feels trapped in it then.

Swears!!! everything later unfolded.

It is very possible that the Op's mum is in another relationship.

Permit me to tell you this, you are not a good son.

Having said that, I will advise you to be a righteous child to your mum. From what you reported, it is glaring that your mum is suffering from some psychological imbalance, and you are expected to be patient with her and help her condition.

I enjoin you to support your mum and make good relationship on behalf of her with those people she fights. Forget about curses she rains on you or your dad, she is not in her mind, hence those curses are futile

Goldensword:
I don't know where you're guys reside, try and see if you can find any HOMEOPATHIC physician there, and take your mum to the physician, it's not a normal thing for a woman to detest her own children it's a serious disorder, SEPIA OFFICINALLIS can help but it's better to consult a professional homeopath who will take her case in a proper manner.

as if the woman go follow the op .

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

Juliearth, just take a look at the bolded.

What kind of work can a woman be doing that he leaves and comes back home very late at night?

boxer022:
My brother I have gone through what you wrote and I must confess it is really touching. My advice for you is that since she has abandoned all her wifely duties and motherly duties due to the reason stated, try as much as you can to take care of your younger ones and especially your father. My ernest wish and prayer is that your father does not die from this situation due to hypertension. Talk to him, take very good care of him, console him also, I know he is going through much stress from thinking, please also appeal to him not to give up and wish for his early death because of what he is passing through from your mom. He should console himself knowing he has children who are capable of taking good care of him. As for your mom since she wants to be isolated from the rest of the family, please grant her wish, discuss with your younger ones to dissociate themselves from her, treating her as she is not part of the family. When she sees that you all are taking adequate care of yourselves and your dad I know she will have a rethink. If she doesn't then it is left to her to live her life as she has decided for herself. Less I forget, don't distance yourselves from your uncles and aunties from both sides of the family, go to them for support and advice.

Great advice

Kingosytex:
Solving a problem by creating another problem doesn't mean you've solved any problem.

Think!!!!

*Sighs*

Then you know Nothing, Jon Snow.

The fulanis understand the act of bullying better,that's why they hold y'all by the balls. Those who have conquered them in history didn't use love or preaching or peace, they used war. Sometimes, niceness and kindness is misconstrued as weakness in naija context. With our King/Leader traditional settings,we all were conditioned to respect and obey the strong,not the weak.

It doesn't matter what you preach to OP's mum or the love you show her,she would never change,except by breaking her. She does things and gets away with it cuz people fear her. Now,remove the fear factor and put in rage and watch her behave like a baby bird.

My last reply

kolade560:
Bro for the sake of your dad, don't leave that man alone, mom is angry cos she feel she's unimportant sinx u cooking for the house. she uses that as weapon before but it seems that is not working this time around hence the anger.
it cud be painful if u have parent like this but u have no choice than to have a wise , clever way of dealing with her and d family.

exactly boss, people are asking me to beg her and settle... People I have been doing this for long and it's starting to seem somehow... She once said she could kill me and nothing will happen sheybi na she born me

I have being in your shoes and I understand you more than you think.. Once you accept the fact that she will never change, nothing that she does suprises you anymore. So pls work on how to get your independence. Though you didnt mention your age or financial stand.. Some mothers are like that.. You should be glad you have a loving father.. Keep respecting her as your mother.

TruthSeeker1:
I believe there's something your mum is not satisfied or happy with in her marriage which is subconsciously and uncontrollably making her to be bitter and hateful. To worsen the situation, she has a choleric personality (she's bad-tempered and irritable). If you reciprocate her bitterness with hatred (which is how you would want to react naturally), you would only aggravate her bitterness and make her more hateful.
The best approach to change your mum for the better is for you (and your siblings) to show her love (genuinely or pretendingly) despite her dislikable attitudes. Don't ever give her the impression that you hate her for being who she is.
Talk to her lovingly and play with her cheerfully. Show her that you love and care for her. Stop being angry at her. I know this may be hard for you to do (considering how she behaves and treats you), but that's the best chance you have of ever changing her to a better person.
When she perceives such love coming from you (and other members of the family), it will be hard for her to remain bitter and malicious.
JUST AS YOU USE WATER TO QUENCH FIRE, YOU USE LOVE TO QUENCH HATRED

but she's been like that for the past 20 years..only God fit change toxic people

1.Get her medical attention from there she can get counseling may be she can change under proper counseling
2.Create opportunity to move closer to her during her lighter mood with your siblings and discuss with her,let her know you love her and you want a change politely.
3.Approach her siblings to help you appeal to her , discuss issues that worries you about her with them
4.If you are a Christian or Muslim, approach your spiritual leader for counsel
5.Pray for her, there is nothing prayer cannot do because she needs help more than you can handle.

Continue loving your mum, do everything that is going to please her

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

I have stated her bad sides but realize I haven't stated her good sides.. When she is happy you'd enjoy her... But when she is angry fast fast that anger turns to bitterness and hatred and uneasily quenched. She'd become something you don't expect and the bad overcome the good by far

Kingluqman:
This matter is serious oo. The guy just need to be prayerful as well. I fear if this woman won’t engage herself in juju stuffs, just to make sure her children and husband are not happy. I feel for you man, it is very serious. Some people are advising him to leave the house, not even considering the fact that his younger ones might not be able to take care of his Dad, and the mother won’t care. Imagine!! Your own Mom is your burden when I always miss mine that she’s no more. Ile aiye!! God will help you bro

Believe me, this woman is possessed. Witchcraft thrives well when family is disjointed. I know of a relative family like this, I would have said the poster is her son oh. The said woman kept malice with her only son for several months, her other children ran away from the house but their father turns to christ and very prayerful. Last year the woman confessed how she killed 2 of her sons and she doesn't want children glory to shine. She said so many things before she died. She died last year 3 days after her confession.

Don't know about yours but according to my religion, no matter how hard, tough, wicked she is. As far she's not forcing you to do anything bad, you must give her the ultimate respect possible... The key to paradise is under the foot of your parents especially your mother. And for you trying to even shout at her talk less to hit her. Oh Allah!! You are lucky you didn't...I advise you to go give your testimony immediately for you've just beat satanic thoughts by a girth...

The faster you leave that house, the better for you.

Not everything can be said here.

luminouz:
I hate it when men come online and start giving the 'approach her calmly, speak your mind bullshiit"

Do you have any idea how many times peeps have tried that shiit and it didn't work? It never works!!!

The best defence against a bully is madness. Show them you are more mad and crazy than them and they would respect you.

God bless you brother... going through the thread I can see that we still have along way to go in Nigeria..people mostly approach issues with emotions which is not going to work

ModestGal:
Don't take all the advice's on page 1
Your mum is your mum, and no matter what, you should treat her well.
Your mum is in pains, she's deeply wounded, she's acting like a wounded dog. It could be from childhood or during her young age, she wasn't understood, everyone always blame her, no one listened to her, and thus she already see everyone as an enemy, and she doesn't care if the whole world see her as a bad person any longer, she will always fight when she feels cheated or wrong

Prolong injustice is usually the cause of such bitterness and anger to everyone, and how people always support the oppressor and fight the oppressed. This made her to detach her love from everyone, because she sees them as evil and that no matter how she behaves, they are there to blame her.

The truth is you are part of the problem including your father, maybe she's used to you sideing your father without listening to her own side of the story and she joined you in her mind with the people she has termed evil.
Truth is, many a times we blame the victims in this part of the world. And I have seen it a quite number of times, especially people that fight everyone, they are usually the victims.

Have you ever taken your time to see the reasons she despises the people she despise? Sometimes, neighbours would look for her trouble because they want to show the world that she's always fighting everyone

In her mind, you are a bastarrd, because she also see how other people's children treat their mothers like goddesses, and you don't.
All her curses are from pains, and fighting neighbours are from pains. She's a wounded soul and she needs treatment, the only way to heal your mother is to through love.

In this part of the world, people like pinching people they perceive weak, or with a problem. It goes in two forms, the victim will become stupid and dumb when people pinch her or even beg them or do what they want, and in the other case, she becomes a wild dog herself, because she's already expecting people's pinches

You said she didn't forgive your uncle after 20years of marriage, do you know if he attempt to rape her or even raped her? Will you forgive such person after 50years?and she wasn't able to speak or say to anyone, it could be an offence higher than that as well. I saw this happened to a friend after marriage. So please, you can't just assume until you know.

Don't be useless, prostrate and beg your mum with a teary eyes,why she's what she is. Only she has the answers

What a load of bullcrap....

Now,do read the story again and apologise to OP.

His mum fights with everybody and you still think everybody is the issue?

Infact, i need to see ya face. I dey suspect you

ModestGal:
Don't take all the advice's on page 1
Your mum is your mum, and no matter what, you should treat her well.
Your mum is in pains, she's deeply wounded, she's acting like a wounded dog. It could be from childhood or during her young age, she wasn't understood, everyone always blame her, no one listened to her, and thus she already see everyone as an enemy, and she doesn't care if the whole world see her as a bad person any longer, she will always fight when she feels cheated or wrong

Prolong injustice is usually the cause of such bitterness and anger to everyone, and how people always support the oppressor and fight the oppressed. This made her to detach her love from everyone, because she sees them as evil and that no matter how she behaves, they are there to blame her.

The truth is you are part of the problem including your father, maybe she's used to you sideing your father without listening to her own side of the story and she joined you in her mind with the people she has termed evil.
Truth is, many a times we blame the victims in this part of the world. And I have seen it a quite number of times, especially people that fight everyone, they are usually the victims.

Have you ever taken your time to see the reasons she despises the people she despise? Sometimes, neighbours would look for her trouble because they want to show the world that she's always fighting everyone

In her mind, you are a bastarrd, because she also see how other people's children treat their mothers like goddesses, and you don't.
All her curses are from pains, and fighting neighbours are from pains. She's a wounded soul and she needs treatment, the only way to heal your mother is to through love.

In this part of the world, people like pinching people they perceive weak, or with a problem. It goes in two forms, the victim will become stupid and dumb when people pinch her or even beg them or do what they want, and in the other case, she becomes a wild dog herself, because she's already expecting people's pinches

You said she didn't forgive your uncle after 20years of marriage, do you know if he attempt to rape her or even raped her? Will you forgive such person after 50years?and she wasn't able to speak or say to anyone, it could be an offence higher than that as well. I saw this happened to a friend after marriage. So please, you can't just assume until you know.

Don't be useless, prostrate and beg your mum with a teary eyes,why she's what she is. Only she has the answers

Next time you post a comment, try to remove emotions from it.

You are really sounding like a wounded lion.

tobechi74:
Marriage is not for everyone, especially not going your mum.
She needs to grow up before considering getting marriage. Her refusal to do so has forced you to mature too early.
Now you will become the mother,and father of the house. Her children will be looking up to you. Who will you look up to?

Whatever you do, you cannot change her.

Figure out your own life. Fend for yourself. She is resting after work because she is sure you will cook for the siblings.

Some days, go out and hustle, learn a trade, a skill anything but do not stay at home. Come back home and sleep. Do this consistently for a year.[b][/b]Stop covering up her mess by doing her duties. she will continue. She will be either forced to do them or the neighbours will know the kids are starving by their malnourished looked .either way, she will be held responsible since you are physically absent and busy

Op

bootycapon:
You are not her target, your father is her main target. There is something between them that she has not been able to forgive. Let her know you should not be used to get to her husband.
Appeal to her calmly sometime and be stern some other times. Make sure you accord her respect at all times and do not be afraid to tell her when she goes too far.
Do not give her chance to rain curses on you, Caution her sincerely. If she won't pray for you, she should not curse you.
Remember, she is your mother and not your God.
I was a victim, today we are fine .

You are so correct.

foleskay:
Is your mom and ijebu woman. Cos you just painted the pic of an ijebu neighbor I lived with in ibadan. Haa. Shes a very huge woman, she fought almost everybody in our street then. Anytime she shouts, d whole street trembles. Hahaha. Iya Sade was a terror. She kept malice with her husband for six months till that man died of stroke. She kept d body of d man indoors for 5days without announcing, until one of her kids came bk from sch to see d callous act. Fear ijebu women oooo. Dem sabi keep malice.

Btw, Op i think your mother is your cross and you've to carry it, I just pray she's not into juju, cos she could kill u all with juju with no remorse.

Does she have female kids?

I'm suspecting I know her too..she is big with huge ass?

Your write up reminds me of my mother in law. She was so petty and troublesome. Curses and wishes every successful person evil.

I blame your father in all this. He has not handled the matter well at all. She won't change but figure out how to manipulate her into conformity.

Una dey go church? if yes, talk to una pastor or her pastor. if not, talk to someone she listens to. there must be someone that can talk to her. maybe you should go to her office Nd talk to her boss cos she go definitely dey fear her boss. if her boss or pastor dey support her, u re in big trouble.