Nigerians and entitlement mentality

Op has NO right to barge into the brother's wife's kitchen to cook, let alone serve a guest.

Since your brother is married, why don't you look for a job and pack out so as to allow them enjoy their marriage

If you must serve your guest something, why not tale permission from your bros wife? Or even buy it from outside?

Before you know it, your type will tell your family members how "evil" she has been and create bad blood. Na so many innocent women take be "bad wife".


I hope say no be babe or guy you bring to that house to form valentine cooking

I hate people with entitlement mentality.

Mokason288:

You are very funny

Where are you from?

If your brothers wife could shoot you, I’m sorry to say this ....

Your brother is an A$$

There should be boundaries every where, I feel it’s wrong to go into her kitchen

But she doesn’t have any right to throw his things outside... that decision is for the brother



I HOPE I MADE SENSE

Your right but legally woman has more rights than her in-laws in her husband's house

Bros
I have this feelings that you are not telling the whole truth.

Flash back and rewrite your statement. From when your brother and his wife were in courtship.
Your attitude then.

Have you been playing second husband that must be respected?

There is no smoke without fire

Yes, she does. It is her home.

veave:
Must everything end in a fight? Ask your brother to settle you so you can start your life if truly you both worked to achieve his presumed success. Before he got married he was your brother only but now he's her husband first then your mothers son next before being your brother. Life is not so difficult to understand my dear, besides if not for how bad our economy is are two adults supposed to fight because one person cooked for his/her guest? That's if what you said is truly the real bone of contention o.

Things like this you see vargina people with ridiculous comments..

What kind of question is this? Your brother and his wife are one.You don't belong in that union,my friend. You're only a transit passenger.

khia:


He has overstayed his welcome and she has reached her limits. Simple logic.

Can wife brother overstay his welcome? Can she send her younger brother out?
She overreacted.

ShobayoEmma:
In this Buhari regime, nobody gets right again. Even your brother's wife have no right to send you out.



Buhari, a good man with evil intentions

You need new sense aswaya, what concern Buhari and your brothers wife?

She can even throw your brother, her hubby out. Ask the likes of Emmanuel Ebue, former Arsenal player

It's your entitlement mentality and is your problem op.

Take your belongings and leave.

Hustle on your own

I have been through a situation like this and I was poisoned am happy not to have died, my brother some women once they get married to their husbands their evil side will show, don’t leave the house without seeing your brother and tell him all that happened his reaction will determine you staying or leaving then, stop eating food from that evil woman because she can kill you. Many people don’t have this experience they just talk do as I have told you bro. How long have she known your brother to throw you out of that house? She’s mad

Mokason288:

You are very funny

Where are you from?

If your brothers wife could shoot you, I’m sorry to say this ....

Your brother is an A$$

There should be boundaries every where, I feel it’s wrong to go into her kitchen

But she doesn’t have any right to throw his things outside... that decision is for the brother



I HOPE I MADE SENSE

I still don't get who made all these rules you people go about quoting;
If the sister has no right to enter the kitchen then she has no business being in that house in the 1st place.
She had a visitor, would she had call on the wife to go and cook for them.
One fact i stumbled upon is that where there is no love, all kinds of rules & boundaries exist.
The only reasonable boundary should be the couple bedroom. If you don't love my blood then how do you begin to justify loving me, there are things i don't do for my babe buh when her lil sis visit us i go extra mile to make her stay comfortable and i expect babe to do same to my younger ones tew.

[quote author=Nwodosis post=99098131]Everything is your brother's own and both you worked for it? How?
My friend allow your brother's wife to enjoy her marriage, which right do you have to go and open a married woman's pot to serve not even yourself but a friend? You owe her an apology.

All these home breakers quoting me, that he cooked the food by himself. In whose kitchen and with whose authority? Most problems in marriage is from husband's parents and relations mostly if the man is the family ATM. Marrying a family breadwinner makes one an automatic Bad Wife hearts of the husband's
bro, even your friends can visit and decide to prepare a meal for the family in the kitchen... it's a cooking place for anyone.. it's not owned by anybody,just that we are blacks.

You mean the kitchen is a general kitchen? You went in to dish a food for ur friend in what way . If she isn't not around is a defferen case but she is at home . Why not take permission from her , you have the right and go in the kitchen to dish food for yourself .not for your so call friends. Get your fuckin bags of clothes out of the house is totally not acceptable

iamGholdaniel:
I am angry right now,
My brother’s wife is so full of pain, whenever she sight me.
I don’t know where this hatred is coming from, today she did worst than before.
a male friend visited, and I went to the kitchen to cook and serve him.

After my friend left she started ranting, and I shouted back at her.

She packed out my belongings , and she started throwing my bags and other stuffs outside.
She locked the house entrance and left with the keys

I decided to stay calm and wait for my brother to come back.

Because everything my brother own, we both struggled for it.

Try and read the message I dropped for you bro many people have not seen shit in their life on naira land they just talk. How long has she known your brother that she will disrespect him and you because she married him ? You are superior to her in that house and the respect she gives him is supposed to be awarded to you she’s mad

mariahAngel:


Don't ruin your brother's marriage! Period!

Naa dem dem ! team all husband family should go n die. before marriage they will be all over there inlaw the moment they get ring na to carry ruler they draw line all over the place. i blame men that can't handle there home nonsense.

just that we are Africans.nobdoy own a kitchen.you live with them for years and don't have to take a permission to prepare meal for your friend,since you didn't touch her meal and prepared yours. she is totally wrong.. Nigerian wives with, it's my kitchen..make una find career than to stay house dey mount guard for kitchen.

Richy4:



I can just imagine what would have happened assuming OP dished out the food she (the sister in law) prepared by herself to his friend ... His luggage would have been at the entrance gate to their estate.. .

All we wanted for them is peace my brother nothing more..

what I disliked in some people's attitude here on Nairaland is that sometimes they seems good at playing 'culture card' when it suits them perfectly.. like in this case, majority have already became Europeans all of a sudden, They have started forming nuclear family on OP.. they have seen OP as someone who has committed a great taboo by staying with his married Elder brother... But did the African culture permits that? that's a question for another day...

But when situation shifts bases, and sh!t hits the roof in a relationship between married couple,, the same people dishing out Europeans style advise; that were forming nuclear family will be like why not call his family, don't u have uncle, sister, bla bla bla..They just remembered African culture when it feels convenient...It's just annoying..

Thank you for your last two paragraphs. Women tend to be hostile to their in-laws in Nigeria, like it's some kind of manual they give them. Suddenly he's their husband, theirs alone, they own him, he's theirs, and nobody should interfere; but once there's a problem they go seeking his family. This could be why the in-laws are never sympathetic to her. In staking her territory on the man, she must have done a lot of stupid things that make them hate her.

In this case it's a bit difficult, because the person being thrown out contributed to the brothers life, perhaps even the kitchen utensils. We can't rule out if the person was arrogant and annoying himself, but I don't understand all these wives being hostile. Will she react the same way if it were her sibling? The brothers should sort out themselves and the wife should be given her limits. One doesn't have to become stupid and inconsiderate just because they are married women and an inlaw is living with them.

I think it's best married people stay on their own, and they don't bring any issues to their families for mediation, since they want to be islands of their own. That way they are for themselves and nobody will interfere. Just them and their children alone.

Make peace with her

This are some of the reason why I dont visit my sister after she got married abd also my brother too, my brother's wife do think I dislike her because she said I have never visit them after marriage, then my sister husband too always want me around but me dont fancy all those stuff, although when she gave birth I visited her and spend two weeks, but as for my brother wife she get jealous that I visited my sis but have not visited them..... No time to check time

24kmagic:
I hope and pray for a good sister in-law in the future, I really do. But in the event that we don't like each other, there's going to be some serious troubles.

I will try as much as possible not to encroach her space. But in the case of kitchen affairs, she dare not.

Who told women that the kitchen belongs to them only? As if they even know how to cook mtcheew.
If my sister in-law tries this rubbish with me, I will make sure I frustrate her life as long as I live.

She'll never wish to step into our family house again I swear. Even that my brother I will deal with him.

The only people I will spare are their kids.

But both my brother and his wife will not have a happy marriage, cos I will turn the whole family against them.

Rubbish.

Ah, hope you're not the OP?

She and her husband are one.
It is her home now, not yours. You are just a special guest now.
Go and marry and have your own home. She runs the place.

veave:
Must everything end in a fight? Ask your brother to settle you so you can start your life if truly you both worked to achieve his presumed success. Before he got married he was your brother only but now he's her husband first then your mothers son next before being your brother. Life is not so difficult to understand my dear, besides if not for how bad our economy is are two adults supposed to fight because one person cooked for his/her guest? That's if what you said is truly the real bone of contention o.

It has nothing to do with economy cos wives in rich homes do it. such intolerant act is borne out of hatred or dislike.
If those two had good rapor/relationship before now, who cooks in the kitchen won't be an issue.

Lexusgs430:



Yes she has a right..... What are you still doing in your brother's house?

If you both struggled for it, time to request your share and move on........

What some females are still doing in their father or siblings homes.

You people act like life is Rosy for everyone and as if marriage means cutting off entirely from your families.

This is why widows suffer, because they were always staking claims on their husbands and acting like their in-laws are useless people to be living with them.

What is he still doing there? Waiting for his own life to happen.

pocohantas:


Naso. Channels TV reporter...

OP, ngwanu, carry your bag on your head and go report to Umunna.

Poco! I've missed your comments for a while.

Where have you been, sis? . Another holidaying again? .

Nwodosis:
Everything is your brother's own and both you worked for it? How?
My friend allow your brother's wife to enjoy her marriage, which right do you have to go and open a married woman's pot to serve not even yourself but a friend? You owe her an apology.

All these home breakers quoting me, that he cooked the food by himself. In whose kitchen and with whose authority? Most problems in marriage is from husband's parents and relations mostly if the man is the family ATM. Marrying a family breadwinner makes one an automatic Bad Wife hearts of the husband's family.

I love people who speaks the truth even if they're not truthful to themselves lol............. would have requested for your cellphone number but I don't know how you may take it. I LOVE THE TRUTH IN YOUR WRITE-UP.

Tell that to your father

ume1000:
MUMU

It depends on what you do.........!!!!!!

God and Adam were having a good time in a garden they built and tended together, until Eve came; boom, everything scatter. Women have the propensity to destroy any relationship. Much more women are in hell than men. They can do and undo.

Katier00:
Op it is very wrong of you to go into the kitchen of your brother's wife. Don't put your brother in the middle because he will definitely choose his wife over you. Respect yourself and tolerate more

whatever makes it right for her to stay in the house, automatically gives her the right to the kitchen .... she is a woman she can't depend on the wife to cook for her whenever she is hungry.
Its obvious the wife & sis inlaw don't have good relationship ... i don't know why some of you are so decisive he will chose the wife, only a foolish man would all women barricade him in such angle.

Mokason288:

You are very funny

Where are you from?

If your brothers wife could shoot you, I’m sorry to say this ....

Your brother is an A$$

There should be boundaries every where, I feel it’s wrong to go into her kitchen

But she doesn’t have any right to throw his things outside... that decision is for the brother



I HOPE I MADE SENSE

Nope. It's her home now. The husband will be an a$$ when he can't reason with his wife on this issue.

cricifixo:
Unfortunately she does and can equally shoot you for trespassing

He doesn't understand that his brother's wife is the madam of the house.