₦airaland Forum

Godoverevery:
But as the husband am expected to understand and accept you picking your siblings over mine

you aiin't sentimental but really selfish....so your siblings won't offend your husband, can he scold your siblings??
am expected to tolerate your siblings but you can't tolerate mine??

Chii59:
Before marriage, a man's first duty is to his family, but once he's married, his first duty is to his wife, then his parents and siblings. God knows how hard you men find LEAVING and CLEAVING that's why Jesus emphasised "For this cause shall a MAN leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" Mark 10:9

The lady in question, the brother's wife went to the extreme, true, but then the man's brother didn't honour the woman of the house.
And everyone knows a woman's office is the kitchen.
Hence he knew she doesn't like him, nor him, her, why then did he enter her kitchen (which is hers by right of marriage) to cook without obtaining her permission?

By virtue of marriage, the house is hers, the kitchen is hers and the food is hers, because "the two shall become one"
If you're married and yet you don't see your wife as a co-owner, a partner in that home, that's no the Biblical way.

"we struggled together" yes it can be quite painful but IT IS WHAT IT IS.
We don't know the woman's story, if she struggled or not before getting married, but we know that a woman, upon getting married, leaves her family, changes her father's name and adopts the man's.

Look, op, this is God's way. You can choose to obey or not, but if you don't, prepare for a peace less home.

Godoverevery:
All what you wrote just proves more the fact you women are selfish.
can she do that to own sibling that my question....stop supporting evil.

Godoverevery:
That was why I open this thread..... some men are just sissy this days.....how will my own blood be an intruder in my house.

My siblings that can stake anything for me.....I can't choose my wife over my family and I can't choose my family over my wife period.

I can only choose my children above them.

Godoverevery:
That was why I open this thread..... some men are just sissy this days.....how will my own blood be an intruder in my house.

My siblings that can stake anything for me.....I can't choose my wife over my family and I can't choose my family over my wife period.

I can only choose my children above them.

Godoverevery:
That what I hate most about them they will never own up to there shit but will rather claim victim or shift blame.
You married a man and immediately his family are intruders while yours have free access to the house.

Godoverevery:
All what you wrote just proves more the fact you women are selfish.
can she do that to own sibling that my question....stop supporting evil.

ImaIma1:
I am married and I don't have inlaws or my family staying with us. And when my inlaws come around, they ask when they need something. They won't just do anything because it's their brother's house.

My people tend to understand that aspect of marriage. Because even when we visit our brother's house, we all act like we are at the mercy of his wife. She's the one that now tells us to stop behaving like visitors and enter the kitchen and help ourselves.

When there's mutual respect for each other's place in the family, there will be peace and not competition.

Womanizer:
Pray not to ever find yourself in a situation where you have to make a choice

Chii59:
Take it or leave it. Peace out.

ImaIma1:
You already have your own mindset and you can't even open your mind to what I am saying. You filter what you want and capitalize on it.

I guess your mind refused to read and accept my last paragraph. Let me highlight it for you:

If my husband has a sibling that is agreeable and I relate with better than with mine, I will readily pick that one. I don't need my life harder but easier.


Whatever the case, the house is more of the wife's own than thw siblings whether it goes down well with you or not.

LadySarah:
When I read the thread I SMH and moved on, no comment. I have experienced that just bcoz I slept over at my bros house on emergency after arriving the city late cos of traffic.The wife was talking rubbish that I came without informing them.This is someone that has had holidays in my home for up-to a week. I left and went for the conference I came for.Almost all her 5 siblings have lived there at one point orthe other and the day I was leaving the sister brought 3 of her kids for hols. l learnt they stayed for a month .Imagine if it was from the husbands side.

more than a year now, my legs hasn't neared it.I have my own home which gives me peace. I'm still the one who invites my own in-laws.last yr she was talking about hols and I shut her up.Let her stay in her house let me stay on my own.

Useless things are what we bother about; my kitchen,my this and that.Nobody knows 2moro.There should have been other ways to settle the issue other than throwing him out unless he is challenging her.

LadySarah:
When I read the thread I SMH and moved on, no comment. I have experienced that just bcoz I slept over at my bros house on emergency after arriving the city late cos of traffic.The wife was talking rubbish that I came without informing them.This is someone that has had holidays in my home for up-to a week. I left and went for the conference I came for.Almost all her 5 siblings have lived there at one point orthe other and the day I was leaving the sister brought 3 of her kids for hols. l learnt they stayed for a month .Imagine if it was from the husbands side.

more than a year now, my legs hasn't neared it.I have my own home which gives me peace. I'm still the one who invites my own in-laws.last yr she was talking about hols and I shut her up.Let her stay in her house let me stay on my own.

Useless things are what we bother about; my kitchen,my this and that.Nobody knows 2moro.There should have been other ways to settle the issue other than throwing him out unless he is challenging her.

Chii59:
Before marriage, a man's first duty is to his family, but once he's married, his first duty is to his wife, then his parents and siblings. God knows how hard you men find LEAVING and CLEAVING that's why Jesus emphasised "For this cause shall a MAN leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" Mark 10:9

The lady in question, the brother's wife went to the extreme, true, but then the man's brother didn't honour the woman of the house.
And everyone knows a woman's office is the kitchen.
Hence he knew she doesn't like him, nor him, her, why then did he enter her kitchen (which is hers by right of marriage) to cook without obtaining her permission?

By virtue of marriage, the house is hers, the kitchen is hers and the food is hers, because "the two shall become one"
If you're married and yet you don't see your wife as a co-owner, a partner in that home, that's not the Biblical way.

"we struggled together" yes it can be quite painful but IT IS WHAT IT IS.
We don't know the woman's story, if she struggled or not before getting married, but we know that a woman, upon getting married, leaves her family, changes her father's name and adopts the man's.

Look, op, this is God's way. You can choose to obey or not, but if you don't, prepare for a peace less home.

Slynation:
I can imagine the embarrassment...I have been in that scenario before when I travelled Enugu but my own case was that I already made arrangements to sleep in a hotel....I only wanted to visit my Uncle's wife so I can give her children the goodies I bought for them,but to my greatest surprise this woman kept on telling me stories of how they went to church since 10am I said no probs, I would check back later, when I was done with what brought me to abakpa, I called her, she said they are still at the church and the program is ending soon (that kinda silent church) Then I noticed it was a game and decided to play along just for fun, At 7pm...I stopped by her gate, it wasn't locked, I called her again, this time around she said the program ain't ending soon that they are likely to sleep over but I picked the light voice of her most stubborn son at the background saying "but mummy we didn't go to any church naw" My only annoyance was that this was someone I gave a week notice before my visit, someone I normally gist with in the villa during the yuletide period, I was very fund of her son's, one was even my namesake, she deprived me of seeing them, perhaps she thought I was coming over to stay or what, me that cherish my privacy....The last time we met at the villa, I shun her like bad habit, I don't promote nonsensical behaviour

Godoverevery:
So because am married my siblings should sleep on the street anytime they need shelter.

I don't take nonsense.....any woman try such with me I swear to God she going back to her parent house.
Am not a foolish man who forget those who were there for me before I met her....if she isn't going to allow mine that non of her family members will step a foot in my house.

Chii59:
Before marriage, a man's first duty is to his family, but once he's married, his first duty is to his wife, then his parents and siblings. God knows how hard you men find LEAVING and CLEAVING that's why Jesus emphasised "For this cause shall a MAN leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" Mark 10:9

The lady in question, the brother's wife went to the extreme, true, but then the man's brother didn't honour the woman of the house.
And everyone knows a woman's office is the kitchen.
Hence he knew she doesn't like him, nor him, her, why then did he enter her kitchen (which is hers by right of marriage) to cook without obtaining her permission?

By virtue of marriage, the house is hers, the kitchen is hers and the food is hers, because "the two shall become one"
If you're married and yet you don't see your wife as a co-owner, a partner in that home, that's not the Biblical way.

"we struggled together" yes it can be quite painful but IT IS WHAT IT IS.
We don't know the woman's story, if she struggled or not before getting married, but we know that a woman, upon getting married, leaves her family, changes her father's name and adopts the man's.

l
Look, op, this is God's way. You can choose to obey or not, but if you don't, prepare for a peace less home.

Chii59:
I gave you a comprehensive breakdown from a Christian standpoint, even put it in bold, that the lady went to the extreme. But that's not enough for you. I'll tell you why. You have a preconceived notion about women, and that alone blindims your eyes and beclouds your reasoning. And the only thing that'd appease you is if I join you to bash a woman who's side of the story we haven't heard.
When you marry, if you do, do whatsoever pleases you.

Chii59:
Before marriage, a man's first duty is to his family, but once he's married, his first duty is to his wife, then his parents and siblings. God knows how hard you men find LEAVING and CLEAVING that's why Jesus emphasised "For this cause shall a MAN leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" Mark 10:9

The lady in question, the brother's wife went to the extreme, true, but then the man's brother didn't honour the woman of the house.
And everyone knows a woman's office is the kitchen.
Hence he knew she doesn't like him, nor him, her, why then did he enter her kitchen (which is hers by right of marriage) to cook without obtaining her permission?

By virtue of marriage, the house is hers, the kitchen is hers and the food is hers, because "the two shall become one"
If you're married and yet you don't see your wife as a co-owner, a partner in that home, that's not the Biblical way.

"we struggled together" yes it can be quite painful but IT IS WHAT IT IS.
We don't know the woman's story, if she struggled or not before getting married, but we know that a woman, upon getting married, leaves her family, changes her father's name and adopts the man's.

Look, op, this is God's way. You can choose to obey or not, but if you don't, prepare for a peace less home.

Godoverevery:
Christian stand point that makes my family intruders in my house while are own aiin't.

which extreme she should stay in her father house now.....like marrying a man now is a favour??
A woman throws her husband bro things out is totally unacceptable no matter what he did....ask your mom if she smile if your bro wife do that to one of your siblings.

Slynation:
I can imagine the embarrassment...I have been in that scenario before when I travelled Enugu but my own case was that I already made arrangements to sleep in a hotel....I only wanted to visit my Uncle's wife so I can give her children the goodies I bought for them,but to my greatest surprise this woman kept on telling me stories of how they went to church since 10am I said no probs, I would check back later, when I was done with what brought me to abakpa, I called her, she said they are still at the church and the program is ending soon (that kinda silent church) Then I noticed it was a game and decided to play along just for fun, At 7pm...I stopped by her gate, it wasn't locked, I called her again, this time around she said the program ain't ending soon that they are likely to sleep over but I picked the feint voice of her most stubborn son at the background saying "but mummy we didn't go to any church naw" My only annoyance was that this was someone I gave a week notice before my visit, someone I normally gist with in the villa during the yuletide period, I was very fund of her son's, one was even my namesake, she deprived me of seeing them, perhaps she thought I was coming over to stay or what, me that cherish my privacy....The last time we met at the villa, I shun her like bad habit, I don't promote nonsensical behaviour

Godoverevery:
Someone posted a thread on how his brother wife threw is things out because he cooked for a friend who visited and everyone was telling him to find a way to leave the house, is wrong for him to enter her kitchen bla bla bla..

This my question if it was her siblings that did the same would she throw his things out??

Most women are just wicked ,self centered and greed ....this happens in most home... women don't want there in-law visiting is only there people that are welcome.....they want to control the home.
Kitchen is only an issue when the in-law enter to pick anything but if is there own relative you won't hear anything.
My own older brother wife did same to our last born ....she always complaining anytime she visit for few days but her own bro/sis will visit for months without any complain.....my sis haven't step his house for like 3yrs now because of that issh.

Let always speak the truth when we give advise instead of being economical with the truth.....it wasn't because the guy cooked for his friend she threw is things out ....is just wickedness of most women... they don't want to see there in-laws....they want to cut the husband family off for there selfish reasons but if anything happens is still the same people they run to.
This things happens alot and very annoying..... Only a foolish man take such rubbish from is wife....
YOU THROW MY SIBLINGS THINGS OUT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION YOU ARE GOING TO YOUR PARENT HOUSE.

Note :
I can never choose my wife over my family neither can I choose my family over my wife.

No wife can make me misbehave to my family....no family can make me misbehave to my wife.

Godoverevery:
Only a foolish man will allow such.....no woman can pick her siblings over mine in my house.

if can't tolerate mine ,non of hers will step a foot in my house.

Slynation:
This I perfectly understood, but in this case, OP was staying with his bro in a very comfortable house before they married that lady, and now her agenda is to create enemity between both brothers for reasons best known to her, if the young man doesn't have anywhere else to stay, do you expect him to sleep on the streets when his brothers home is enough to go round?? or you think he doesn't have plans of having his own house and Family?? make una dey calm down oO.... because "uwa ne me ntuwari"

ImaIma1:
I see that you still didn't understand. But I will let that go. But let me ask you a question.

When you get married and your wife puts to bed especially through cesarean section that need care and lots of healing. Your mum and sister are the ones who come to do the omugwo. Who do you think should be doing the cooking for everyone to eat at that time?

Slynation:
I can imagine the embarrassment...I have been in that scenario before when I travelled Enugu but my own case was that I already made arrangements to sleep in a hotel....I only wanted to visit my Uncle's wife so I can give her children the goodies I bought for them,but to my greatest surprise this woman kept on telling me stories of how they went to church since 10am I said no probs, I would check back later, when I was done with what brought me to abakpa, I called her, she said they are still at the church and the program is ending soon (that kinda silent church) Then I noticed it was a game and decided to play along just for fun, At 7pm...I stopped by her gate, it wasn't locked, I called her again, this time around she said the program ain't ending soon that they are likely to sleep over but I picked the feint voice of her most stubborn son at the background saying "but mummy we didn't go to any church naw" My only annoyance was that this was someone I gave a week notice before my visit, someone I normally gist with in the villa during the yuletide period, I was very fund of her son's, one was even my namesake, she deprived me of seeing them, perhaps she thought I was coming over to stay or what, me that cherish my privacy....The last time we met at the villa, I shun her like bad habit, I don't promote nonsensical behaviour

Chii59:
I gave you a comprehensive breakdown from a Christian standpoint, even put it in bold, that the lady went to the extreme. But that's not enough for you. I'll tell you why. You have a preconceived notion about women, and that alone blinds your eyes and beclouds your reasoning. And the only thing that'd appease you is if I join you to bash a woman who's side of the story we haven't heard.
When you marry, if you do, do whatsoever pleases you.

Chii59:
Before marriage, a man's first duty is to his family, but once he's married, his first duty is to his wife, then his parents and siblings. God knows how hard you men find LEAVING and CLEAVING that's why Jesus emphasised "For this cause shall a MAN leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" Mark 10:9

The lady in question, the brother's wife went to the extreme, true, but then the man's brother didn't honour the woman of the house.
And everyone knows a woman's office is the kitchen.
Hence he knew she doesn't like him, nor him, her, why then did he enter her kitchen (which is hers by right of marriage) to cook without obtaining her permission?

By virtue of marriage, the house is hers, the kitchen is hers and the food is hers, because "the two shall become one"
If you're married and yet you don't see your wife as a co-owner, a partner in that home, that's not the Biblical way.

"we struggled together" yes it can be quite painful but IT IS WHAT IT IS.
We don't know the woman's story, if she struggled or not before getting married, but we know that a woman, upon getting married, leaves her family, changes her father's name and adopts the man's.

Look, op, this is God's way. You can choose to obey or not, but if you don't, prepare for a peace less home.

Godoverevery:
I don't have any issh with her mother coming to take care of her sofar she doesn't try to impose her family in my house
if she tells me my mum can't come her mother can't come aswell.

ImaIma1:
If you don't join and bash, he doesn't understand anything you say. I said that in my previous comment. He blocks his mind to every other thing.