Chii59:

I gave you a comprehensive breakdown from a Christian standpoint, even put it in bold, that the lady went to the extreme. But that's not enough for you. I'll tell you why. You have a preconceived notion about women, and that alone blinds your eyes and beclouds your reasoning. And the only thing that'd appease you is if I join you to bash a woman who's side of the story we haven't heard.
When you marry, if you do, do whatsoever pleases you.

full

ImaIma1:


Hahahaha...for one, I don't have any younger ones. My husband even talks more with my brothers than I do.

All my siblings even if they are older than my husband respect him and they hardly visit.

Everyone is busy with their lives to have time to chook nose in another person's business. They only know what we want them to know.

May God provide for us all and keep us busy so that we don't have time to trouble another person.

So we that have younger one still looking up to us should kill them or disown them because we are married.

At this point I can see you just irrational......how does me having my younger one visiting me means they are putting mouth in my business.

Abeg use your brain a lil now.

JONNYSPUTE:
....And this is why most of the time I bash men who can't take control of things in their homes.

If you re my relative and you visit my house,I will immediately put you on the know and remind you that no matter what,you shouldn't exceed nor cross your boundaries. Same way I will put my wife on the know.

Nice!

That's the way to go. You create the balance and everyone maintains their lanes.

Godoverevery:

So we that have younger one still looking up to us should kill them or disown them because we are married.

At this point I can see you just irrational......how does me having my younger one visiting me means they are putting mouth in my business.

Abeg use your brain a lil now.

You want to kill your younger ones? Why would you have such thoughts?

It seems you have comprehension problems or you are just set in your thinking.

Does having younger ones mean they must cause problems in their elder ones marriages? No sir!

I am a younger one that lived with an older one and I didn't have entitlement mentality or cause any issues in my older one's marriage.

Abeg read to understand and discuss like an intelligent human. You are just talking with so much bitterness and narrow minded mindset, that has blinded and clouded your judgement.

READ TO UNDERSTAND AND THINK IT THROUGH AND REASON..DON'T BE A ONE WAY TRAFFIC.

Godoverevery:

So if he provoked her the next thing is to throw the boy out can she throw her sibling out

So my bro wife throw me out of is house and I will have good relationship with the family going forward

If you want to have good relationship with the family perhaps you would not do anything to piss off your brother's wife so she does not throw you out in the first place.

It is an option, don't you think?

budaatum:


If you want to have good relationship with the family perhaps you would nyot do anything to piss off your brother's wife so she does not throw you out in the first place.

It is an option, don't you think?

You don't need to do anything to piss such women off.... seeing him in that house have already made her Angry.

You can never please someone who doesn't like you no matter how good you behave she will still have issh.

Godoverevery:


You don't need to do anything to piss such women off.... seeing him in that house have already made her Angry.

You can never please someone who doesn't like you no matter how good you behave she will still have issh.

You have assumed she is "such women" instead of considering you yourself might be such man who just pisses people off.

I have just one bit of advice for you. Two, in case a picture won't do.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/13164845_notable02586_jpegd2d14e400fafd83a1fb1c6dacb17e936

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11843020_20200701190851272_jpeg_jpegd37fa2921e81fd9029803de69a5151c0

ImaIma1:


You want to kill your younger ones? Why would you have such thoughts?

It seems you have comprehension problems or you are just set in your thinking.

Does having younger ones mean they must cause problems in their elder ones marriages? No sir!

I am a younger one that lived with an older one and I didn't have entitlement mentality or cause any issues in my older one's marriage.

Abeg read to understand and discuss like an intelligent human. You are just talking with so much bitterness and narrow minded mindset, that has blinded and clouded your judgement.

READ TO UNDERSTAND AND THINK IT THROUGH AND REASON..DON'T BE A ONE WAY TRAFFIC.

Just use your brain that all.......my siblings can't give me wife problem but if they do I will deal with them....common sense.
But can my wife send my siblings out of my house or tell me they can't come......them no born her papa.


No one will give you problem if you are Patience....

Godoverevery:


Just use your brain that all.......my siblings can't give me wife problem but if they do I will deal with them....common sense.
But can my wife send my siblings out of my house or tell me they can't come......them no born her papa.


No one will give you problem if you are Patience....

I hope you would at the very least consider her reasons instead of just assuming she is "such women".

budaatum:


You have assumed she is "such women" instead of considering you yourself might be such man who just pisses people off.

I have just one bit of advice for you. Two, in case a picture won't do.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/13164845_notable02586_jpegd2d14e400fafd83a1fb1c6dacb17e936

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11843020_20200701190851272_jpeg_jpegd37fa2921e81fd9029803de69a5151c0

my advice for you is this.....if she can tolerate her own siblings then is common sense she know you have tolerate your husband siblings too.

In yoruba land you can't disrespect your in-law as a woman infact you dare not call the one you older than by name.

budaatum:

I hope you would at the very least consider her reasons instead of just assuming she is "such women".

No Matter the reason she has to wait till I come back......like wtf.

You send my own blood out of my house without informing me that means she can even to do it my mother.

If my wife try such with me , she going to her parent house I swear to heaven.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Nice but you will also agree with me that you people learnt about respecting boundaries from some one? Might be Ur Dad.

I have never stayed with with any of my relatives or in-laws reason is that I'm the first in my family.

When I got married,I never had a problem with my in-laws coming to stay with me or their sister and never saw it as anything.And thank God I came from a family where we all learnt to keep and respect boundaries.

That was the reason why I had to take such actions by stopping all my wife's relatives from visiting immediately I noticed her behaviour towards my younger brother who came for a short stay.

Imagine my anger because her relatives were practically living in my house and she condones all their excesses but she could not act the same way to my brother?

I didn't even discuss anything with her but gave my instructions and asked all to leave.

When they keep asking her why I acted such,she couldn't answer because she knew She was the cause.

My brother make God help us, you had a wife who is not ready to drag with you and a submitting one at that, in some cases the woman will not agree and the siblings will be Hell bent on causing trouble, in that guys case, so many things must have happened that he never shared and the wife must have acted to even dare the husband.. Things like this should be discussed before marriage like I did in my last relationship, told her my terms and she agreed but felt I will mumuishly back out on some of my terms cos of love, but I never did and we had to go our separate ways, imagine someone blaming me for not caring for the mum's upkeep when me is trying to save massively for things that will better my own life as a struggling guy, while her elder siblings about 9 in number abandoned their own mum... And I also made it known, I don't like family members staying beyond a stipulated period of time as I love my space and peace of mind..

Godoverevery:


my advice for you is this.....if she can tolerate her own siblings then is common sense she know you have tolerate your husband siblings too.

In yoruba land you can't disrespect your in-law as a woman infact you dare not call the one you older than by name.

You should ask yourself why you married me if I was "such women", because I am certain you would not want the beautiful amazing daughters I would have for you to turn out to be "such women" which is bound to be the case if I was "such women" myself. Were you blind, perhaps?

Do know that this is 2021 and not 1821. We do not tolerate anymore but respect and demand respect in return. If your siblings can not respect your wife with your support she can pack her stuff and dump your ass. I mean, it's not as if I can't go and work and pay my own rent and the schoolfees of your daughters if you the husband who promised to love me above everyone else refuses to protect me from your rude siblings and instead assume I am "such women".

Please choose. You either respect me and order your siblings to respect me or ........ Because if you have any sense you would realise that by disrespecting me they are disrespecting you too.

ImaIma1:


And I remember telling you that my husband wasn't always home and I was not the reporting type or try to cause division.The times he was around, he scolded them; something I would not dare.

And in a case where the wife's mum is late and mum inlaw is alive, it's common sense to want her around especially when there were initial issues.

Obviously, the op who said he was chased out only narrated the part that favoured him.

No matter the issue, the wife went too far by sending him out. If my wife tries such with my family, she's also a goner.

budaatum:

You should ask yourself why you married me if I was "such women", because I am certain you would not want the beautiful amazing daughters I would have for you to turn out to be "such women" which is bound to be the case if I was "such women" myself. Were you blind, perhaps?

Do know that this is 2021 and not 1821. We do not tolerate anymore but respect and demand respect in return. If your siblings can not respect your wife with your support she can pack her stuff and dump your ass. I mean, it's not as if I can't go and work and pay my own rent and the schoolfees of your daughters if you the husband who promised to love me above everyone else refuses to protect me from your rude siblings and instead assume I am "such women".

Please choose. You either respect me and order your siblings to respect me or ........ Because if you have any sense you would realise that by disrespecting me they are disrespecting you too.

I've learnt, from my brief stay on this forum, to not argue anything gender related with this particular Op. He's stubbonly partial and set in his way and beliefs.

Kudos to you and Ima. Can never be me

Sixfeetbelle:


I've learnt, from my brief stay on this forum, to not argue anything gender related with this particular Op. He's stubbonly partial and set in his way and beliefs.

Kudos to you and Ima. Can never be me

Oh, I am not arguing with the op. Just using him as a soundboard so others may see how silly he is being. And I must say, you make me think it has worked.

budaatum:


Oh, I am not arguing with the op. Just using him as a soundboard so others may see how silly he is being. And I must say, you make me think it has worked.

Are you sure they're seeing how silly he's being? Please, forget story. Nothing has worked. Na im type full for here

Sixfeetbelle:


Are you sure they're seeing how silly he's being? Please, forget story. Nothing has worked. Na im type full for here

He carried himself over from here. Lol.

Trust me, there are more sensible people observing than commenting.

zealousayo:


No matter the issue, the wife went too far by sending him out. If my wife tries such with my family, she's also a goner.

I already pointed out that she was irrational and should have waited to report whatever problem to her husband.

If your wife is the type that will act that way, that is who you married. You married her with that flaw. You will most likely try to manage the situation

ImaIma1:


I already pointed out that she was irrational and should have waited to report whatever problem to her husband.

If your wife is the type that will act that way, that is who you married. You married her with that flaw. You will most likely try to manage the situation

Well, you're right.

ImaIma1:


I am married and I don't have inlaws or my family staying with us. And when my inlaws come around, they ask when they need something. They won't just do anything because it's their brother's house.

My people tend to understand that aspect of marriage. Because even when we visit our brother's house, we all act like we are at the mercy of his wife. She's the one that now tells us to stop behaving like visitors and enter the kitchen and help ourselves.

When there's mutual respect for each other's place in the family, there will be peace and not competition.

There is a difference between staying and visiting, when you visit your brother its norm you act like a visitor and seek permission even before you sit down BUT the moment you start living with them, all that visitor charade stops ... you can't be possibly waking up everyday to ask for permission to enter the kitchen or go to the toilet in a house you live, with time familiarity kills formalty
As far as i am concern, there matrimonial bedroom marks the only reasonable boundary.

larryjonze:



There is a difference between staying and visiting, when you visit your brother its norm you act like a visitor and seek permission even before you sit down BUT the moment you start living with them, all that visitor charade stops ... you can't be possibly waking up everyday to ask for permission to enter the kitchen or go to the toilet in a house you live, with time familiarity kills formalty
As far as i am concern, there matrimonial bedroom marks the only reasonable boundary.

When I stayed with them for a holiday, I wasn't asking permission to do everything, but only where necessary. You have to respect the woman of the house. And if I was going to have a guest, she would have been aware of my plans.

ImaIma1:


When I stayed with them for a holiday, I wasn't asking permission to do everything, but only where necessary. You have to respect the woman of the house. And if I was going to have a guest, she would have been aware of my plans.

Respect they say is reciprocal, in yoruba tribe women are training to respect the inlaws irrespective age, the focus is on the wife because the husband people feels the woman is an outsider, so the wife is expected to earn respect by respecting her inlaw first.
what a woman need is love & likeness not respect, all it takez for your inlaw to respect you is likeness so women should know what to fight for.

budaatum:

You should ask yourself why you married me if I was "such women", because I am certain you would not want the beautiful amazing daughters I would have for you to turn out to be "such women" which is bound to be the case if I was "such women" myself. Were you blind, perhaps?

Do know that this is 2021 and not 1821. We do not tolerate anymore but respect and demand respect in return. If your siblings can not respect your wife with your support she can pack her stuff and dump your ass. I mean, it's not as if I can't go and work and pay my own rent and the schoolfees of your daughters if you the husband who promised to love me above everyone else refuses to protect me from your rude siblings and instead assume I am "such women".

Please choose. You either respect me and order your siblings to respect me or ........ Because if you have any sense you would realise that by disrespecting me they are disrespecting you too.

well am not surprised with this submission..... that why single mother full everywhere.....it must be about me mentality.

You don't command respect dummy....you earn it......if my sibling offend you and you feel the best decision is to throw his things out without informing me then am a foolish man who is wife has no regards for.

larryjonze:



Respect they say is reciprocal, in yoruba tribe women are training to respect the inlaws irrespective age, the focus is on the wife because the husband people feels the woman is an outsider, so the wife is expected to earn respect by respecting her inlaw first.
what a woman need is love & likeness not respect, all it takez for your inlaw to respect you is likeness so women should know what to fight. respect is for males.

Respect is for males? That is the "wrongest" thing I have heard. Women are not to be respected? Where did you even get that from?

I know about then Yoruba culture. My brother's wife is Yoruba and we don't feel she's an outsider. She's part of the family.

Respect is for males

Sixfeetbelle:


I've learnt, from my brief stay on this forum, to not argue anything gender related with this particular Op. He's stubbonly partial and set in his way and beliefs.

Kudos to you and Ima. Can never be me

You can't engage me now.

A woman throwing out is husband bro things over any dispute is wickedness.
Only wicked, useless women do that. ... period

Godoverevery:


well am not surprised with this submission..... that why single mother full everywhere.....it must be about me mentality.

You don't command respect dummy....you earn it......if my sibling offend you and you feel the best decision is to throw his things out without informing me then am a foolish man who is wife has no regards for.

If you were a good husband, you would have dealt with the ops complaint of "whenever she sight me", which implies it has been going on a while and you should have noticed either because your sibling told you or your wife told you, but useless home manager that you are refused to deal with it and are now complaining because I refuse to put up with your ineptitude no longer. And to further show how irresponsible a man you are, you are blaming me for the breakdown of the home you are meant to be in charge of? It's not your fault. I should have valued myself more and not married a man who has so little respect for me that he refers to me as "such women"!

Be there making out my single motherhood is a bad thing when the truth is you made my existence worse. Now I've gotten rid of useless you and your sibling baggage, I'm much calmer and able to bring up your daughters so they will marry a man who will respect them a lot more than you respect me.

budaatum:


If you were a good husband, you would have dealt with the ops complaint of "whenever she sight me", which implies it has been going on a while and you should have noticed either because your sibling told you or your wife told you, but useless home manager that you are refused to deal with it and are now complaining because I refuse to put up with your ineptitude no longer. And to further show how irresponsible a man you are, you are blaming me for the breakdown of the home you are meant to be in charge of? It's not your fault. I should have valued myself more and not married a man who has so little respect for me that he refers to me as "such women"!

Be there making out my single motherhood is a bad thing when the truth is you made my existence worse. Now I've gotten rid of useless you and your sibling baggage, I'm much calmer and able to bring up your daughters so they will marry a man who will respect them a lot more than you respect me.

....Are you guys not tired?.
Both husband and wife deserves respect inorder to make the family a happy home.
I keep saying it that the only way that woman will exhibit such actions without giving a damn about her husband was because the man has already failed to take charge.

ImaIma1:


Respect is for males? That is the "wrongest" thing I have heard. Women are not to be respected? Where did you even get that from?

I know about then Yoruba culture. My brother's wife is Yoruba and we don't feel she's an outsider. She's part of the family.

Respect is for males

Madam, i am not surprise you took it the wrong way, but don't get me wrong everyone (male/female) deserves respect, but we feed in different forms.
lets just say one feed in liquid form while the other feed in solid form.

Ephesians 5:33, KJV
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Men are receptive to respect just as women are receptive to love, if a man truly loves a woman he will respecf her and if a woman truly respect a man she tends to love him. giving one another what we understand is called communication, communication they say is key in every marriage. sho get.

larryjonze:




Madam, i am not surprise you took it the wrong way, but don't get me wrong everyone (male/female) deserves respect, but we feed in different forms.
lets just say one feed in liquid form while the other feed in solid form.

Ephesians 5:33, KJV
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Men are receptive to respect just as women are receptive to love, if a man truly loves a woman he will respecf her and if a woman truly respect a man she tends to love him. giving one another what we understand is called communication, communication they say is key in every marriage. sho get.

Oga, I took it as you said it that respect is for males. Weren't those your words? You wrote something and now turn around to say I am taking it the wrong way.

You are quoting a verse about husband and wife. What about generally?

1Peter 2:17

"Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor"

Everyone is receptive to respect and love. Will a child kneel down and greet her mother and stand and greet the mother because only men are receptive to respect? Respect is for everyone o