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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! (10962 Views)
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Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 10:25pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
kimoyo: Wow!!! What great light at the end of that tunnel! Congrats man!!! I celebrate you. That tunnel is so dark..! How long was your wait? Sure I have made up my mind but needed to share a little so I don't explode. 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by cococandy(f): 10:26pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: In your OP you implied it was a natural pregnancy. Now you’re saying it was after fertility treatments. Okay. Google is your friend sha. Unless you’re going to pay me for the education |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 10:33pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
truthsayer009: Mad life o! A lot has changed about me going through these, these years! New philosophies have been birthed as well. This is a map only experience can read. Put yourself together man, shit happens. Thanks |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 10:47pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
cococandy: Fertility supplements. And yes, the pregnancy was natural - achieved via routine sexual intercourse without my pouring sperm into a lab specimen bottle and eggs extracted etc. By fertility treatmemt I meant supplements, not regular fertility meds as such. Expensive supplements by the way. Google is my friend about what exactly? Thanks 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 10:50pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Malawian: LoL are you for real..? Thanks |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 10:53pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
BlessedMyra: Thanks for your last words. The womb is the problem. Reason doctors are offering us surrogacy as last resort. Amen to your prayers. 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 10:56pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
tstx: Thanks, lol 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by cococandy(f): 10:57pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: Okay. About google. It’s your friend on learning whether abortions cause infertility or not. Don’t read opinion pieces though. Read scientific papers. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 11:00pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
RenerdsMedia: I can relate. But this is not the essence of my original post. Thanks 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 11:10pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
cococandy: YES it is common knowledge that D and C's INCREASES risk of future female infertility. But your scientific links to prove otherwise here will be highly appreciated. Thanks 5 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Ginaz(f): 11:19pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Cococandy I feel this isn't the right time to argue with him about abortions or infertility. Soothing words would be more than preferable. Your argument on the topic is absolutely unnecessary. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by johnpaschal(m): 11:48pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: You know deep down that even with the side chicks you've tried impregnating that the fault ain't from your wife but from your family so quit being angry and challenge the problem from it's source ......ask your father why you cannot have a child and listen to the story he tells....take care |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Qatar2022: 11:58pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Righteousness2:This trash you wrote here is why African men die early , madam he won't kill himself for a lady that destroy her womb in the name of dating 5 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Qatar2022: 12:00am On Mar 08, 2021 |
JidennaJason:That thing is most useless creature that I ever see 3 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Saintmary(f): 12:07am On Mar 08, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: I know it's not easy, both financially and psychologically, Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by eyinjuege: 12:25am On Mar 08, 2021 |
Abortion, yet she got pregnant and had a still birth. Abortions when done safely do not cause infertility. Infertility only comes if the abortion was done with unsterilised instruments to cause an infection. ABORTIONS DO NOT CAUSE INFERTILITY. The woman in question has been pregnant in your marriage. You can divorce her, and both of you go your separate ways instead of treating her shabbily for something out of her control. Some couples just cannot have children together 5 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 12:29am On Mar 08, 2021 |
johnpaschal: LoL. Kids won't mind threads for kids. Thanks |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by eyinjuege: 12:30am On Mar 08, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: That is not true. Abortions can be done safely with no complications. I'm sure your wife had undergone several tests in her womb, and any complication from a D and C would have been picked. She has been.pregnant for you before and had a still birth. What are you even saying? Do not pin this on your wife. 5 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by cococandy(f): 12:35am On Mar 08, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: It does not. But your mind is made up and you’ll probably only align with posts that help you resent your wife some more. It’s not my responsibility to provide you information that’s readily available. Good luck though. 6 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 12:36am On Mar 08, 2021 |
eyinjuege: I don't agree with th boldened part . Abortions vary in types and the abortion here D and C increases risk of damaging the womb. This is Nigeria. Abortion isn't even legalized. And perpetrators D and C just anyhow, further increasing the risks. Thanks anyway 7 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 12:38am On Mar 08, 2021 |
cococandy: Discussions are welcome. Thanks |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by eyinjuege: 12:42am On Mar 08, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: You say her womb was damaged. What did your HSG show? 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by cococandy(f): 12:45am On Mar 08, 2021 |
Ginaz:Very well. But This is also not the right time to advise him to go find another woman. Wonder why those posts are okay but my factual posts about abortion not being the cause of infertility is not at the right time. I do think it’s appropriate because for one I’m not arguing with him. I’m giving him factual information. Maybe if he stops dwelling on the wrong cause of his problem, a solution might come his way sooner. The resentment he feels towards his wife, I’m sure she knows and feels it too. Negative feelings and stress can hinder the hormonal conditions that increase the possibilities of conception. 6 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 1:09am On Mar 08, 2021 |
eyinjuege: You don't know how unsafely/crudely D and C's are done esp here in our Nigeria. Post D and C check ups are even hardly done and this is what complicates the issue leading to threats to their fertility. A few are fortunate not to have consequences. Let me not even go there. I will still try to keep an anonymous ID so I won't give further details about the lost first pregnancy. But note that the diagnosis after the loss was that the womb had tissue deformities... ThankS for your advice. 4 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 1:11am On Mar 08, 2021 |
cococandy: You can feed your eyes scientifically : https://www.ajol.info/index.php/tjog/article/view/14407 Abstract Context: The incidence of induced abortion in Nigeria is high. Pelvic infection as a complication of this abortion is also common and with the rising prevalence of infertility in the population, there is a need to assess the impact of induced abortions on fertility in our women. Objective: To establish the impact of induced abortion on the fertility rate of women in Calabar. Design and Setting: Cross sectional descriptive study in Calabar, an urban community on the eastern flank of Nigeria's Atlantic coast. Subjects and Methods: Women seeking gynaecological, antenatal and family planning services who gave their informed consent were recruited. Those of them who gave a history of induced abortion were interviewed in-depth. Their demographic characteristics and detailed information about their abortion history such as number of abortions, sites where the abortions were performed, the personnel providing the abortion services and complications arising from the abortions were obtained. Results: Some 242 (40.3%) of the study subjects had undergone at least one induced abortion. The commonest late complications of induced abortion were secondary infertility (42.1%) and chronic pelvic infection (36.0%). Only 48.3% of the women who had induced abortions maintained their fertility while the remainder suffered secondary infertility ranging from three to eighteen years in duration. The fertility rate decreased with increasing number of abortion. Conclusion: Induced abortion is a major factor in the high prevalence of secondary infertility in Calabar. Training of medical practitioners on post-abortion care may help to ameliorate the burden of secondary infertility in Nigeria. Key Words: Abortion, Pregnancy Termination, Fertility, Infertility [Trop J Obstet Gynaecol, 2003, 20: 89-92] 4 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 1:15am On Mar 08, 2021 |
eyinjuege: HSG wasn't good. All these were precursors to the thousand and one lab tests and imaging procedures done before and during the ivfs etc. 2 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by eyinjuege: 2:00am On Mar 08, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: You mentioned tissue deformity on HSG. Was she born with a uterus deformity or they found adhesions? I'm sure before IVF attempts, they would have tried to correct the ?tissue deformity. Abortions when done safely like I mentioned earlier should not cause infertility. By safe- use of sterilised equipments by professionals. Anyway, there are always options. 1. What worries you about surrogacy as an option? If you can afford it, why not? The embryo is still for you and your wife since they will be using your swimmers and her eggs. Infertility can be tough, but it's a challenge that can be overcome especially when you have the wherewithal to make it happen. 2. If you're tired of the marriage and the challenges and can't bear to do anything more, another option is to discuss with your wife and let everybody go their separate ways. 3. If you both agree to have a polygamous marriage 4. Adoption 5. Etc Sorry to hear about all the stress your family has had to go through. Edit: I'm reading the thread piecemeal so missing some info/updates . If you really cannot bear it anymore, get a divorce. I pray you both get your hearts desires even if with separate partners. 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by femi4: 6:24am On Mar 08, 2021 |
IntentionTremor:You don't need to divorce her, marry another woman or have a child outside your wedlock |
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