₦airaland Forum

224) Amaka let me pass you through your enchanted forest, you go no sey body no be wood
225) Was watching Professor Johnbull yesterday and I heard them calling House girl...domestic assistant, kwantinue soon Omo onile will become Housing Surchages Warden.
226) I need a small Tina.

221) Abroad you buy flowers to make a girl fall for you, here it is recharge card, it's a lie so you mean your boyfriend buys you recharge card every week, this your love na one tin tin.
222) I wish we used recharge cards like flowers like if someone dies, you send them a condolence message with recharge card.
223) So I don't get this election in America, people were mad that the billionaires were controlling everything and they elected a billionaire. I see smart move.

218) Can someone tell Conte to stop acting c*ntish towards Mikel?
219) yahoo yahoo boys go format people sey make them drop for love, sickness, land for cheap price, pastor go format congregation sey make dem drop to avert something happening, child go format e parent sey e need textbook, school fees, course fees for dem to drop, even Apple go format people sey dis is the latest ochara. Everybody get their own format, just pray make God show you your own format, you go dey chop steady.
220) Is there anything like White Priviledge, I will let you answer that, a black man gets accused of sexual assault, they rewrote the rules on statute of limitation, a white man get accused of sexual assault, he is made the president.

JohnEazy:
More...nice collections

Thanks John Eazy

215) It is always cheaper to pay for something than to get it for free.
216) Americans voted for Obama in 2008 and in 2016 voted for Trump, I guess it is one step forward and ten step steps backward.
217) Money and time are the same, there is no time or money that is enough and there is no time or money that is not enough.

212) Muscles always appear bigger than they are.
213) Na Tom Ford design my CV, it is tailor made.
214) You are a square you won't fit in my circle.

209) So I went for another interview yesterday and the interviewer asked me another stupid question- where do you see yourself in 10 years, I said excuse me sir I did not come with my opele, he said how do you mean? I told him If I had my opele, we would have asked Orunmila himself.
210) There are differences between ugliness and wowoness, ugliness is permanent while wowoness is temporary, ugliness is inbuilt while wowoness is condition. Obj is ugly, Basketmouth used to be wowo. With small money you can rid yourself of wowoness but if you like go to Mary Kay headquater if you are ugly, my brother there is nothing they can do for you.
211) I rap in Ibile, I have got yorubars.

206) A lot of people are threatening to leave America for Canada because Trump won, I swear if Buhari wins in 2019, I am moving to America ooo and please don't try and stop me.
207) Prince Harry has a new girlfriend mixed race, I know this for a fact Prince Harry will marry this girl or another black chick cos once you go black you can never...
208) If you can't do the time, don't come to my church.

203) In every family there is a mumu person in it, if you don't know who it is in your family, you are probably the mumu.
204) There is someone on your phone that you are ignoring their call and there is someone on your phone ignoring your call. such is life.
205) Lord give me patience and give it to me now.

200) Do you think in Brazil the black girls just walkup to the white girls, touch their hair and go- how mush?
201) People were surprised that Americans voted for Trump, the same people who call trousers pant, who call petrol gas.
202) Anybody who has read the art of a deal will know that Trump does not forgive, when Trump is done with all the people he has beef with, everyone will be saying- so Buhari is a learner.

197) Agbo to tadi meyin, sebi redbull lo lo mu wa
198) I travelled so much they thought I was a gypsy.
199) Thank God for my life, I remember when I used to beat Junior like sey e repeat primary 2.

Jochebed7:
cool

Thanks!

194) How come when you want your food to remain hot, you use a cooler?
195) How come people who say you know what I mean are the hardest to know what they actually mean.
196) So Aunty Chi Chi said guys have power because they can propose to a woman whereas the woman has to wait, she mentioned one of her friends who has waited for 5 years to be proposed to. Unless a woman is a mute, in 2016 we live in, you can ask your boyfriend anytime if he is ready to marry you and if he is not, you move. You think men really have power, spend at least 3 months of their hard earned cash and come up with this creative way to make you say yes and the woman can still go-No, I didn't like the colour of the shirt he was wearing when he proposed.

193) I want to buy some bitcoin, does anyone have E-money's number?
194) I need a Part-time Other Room Attendant, that is fine like garri ijebu.
195) give a man a fish and you feed him for an hour, teach him how to fish, he will teach others and be forming chairman.

190) Donald Trump called Americans Maga and they still voted for him.
191) My childhood is not as bad as I used to think, everything is about perspective. When there was no money for kerosene and we ate almost raw fish, never knew we were eating Sushi, when there was no meat and we ate rice with egg, never knew we were vegetarian and when there was even no egg, never knew we were vegan.
192) In America there are two kinds of people, the conservatives and the liberals and they differ in all areas of their life, and they fight on every issue, is it not smarter to have two countries and the conservative can do whatever they want and the other group can do whatever they want, or is there something about fighting they both like.

187) So the far right won the American election, the problem with the far right is that they are usually far wrong.
188) Has anyone thought what if Obasanjo was cute as a baby?
189) The Naira is so bad, Togo guys are beginning to take our women.

185) Don jazzy is my favourite artist, omo cele to di celebrity.
186) Don't touch my KFC money that is my shicken change.
186) No matter how many novels Aunti Chi chi writes, when she reads Chinua, she go still realise sey she be learner.

182) Owning a motorbike is saying to God- I don't like how you created me.
183) We can never have guide dogs in Nigeria, Ondo and Calabar people will know that the owner of the dog is blind and you think the owners will not get lost.
184) There is smart tv, smart car, I went to First Bank yesterday and my account officer offered me a smart loan, I asked him if I don't pay will the loan pay you back?

179) The definition of democracy- the government of the people by the people and for the people, the problem is most people are not part of these people.
180) There can't be equality in a relationship, either the woman is more powerful than the man or the man is more powerful than the woman. There is no 50 50 relationship in the world. If you meet a guy and he tells you he is in a 50 50 relationship with his wife, I will put a million Naira down that his wife runs that relationship.
181) So for this Halloween, me and my family sat in the parlour and listened to Owu ye Owu ye oooo, Owu ye wu ye wu ye ken, I was so scared- the best Halloween party ever.

176) Why you should have a side chick if you are married, there is nothing sadder than seeing a 60 year old man learning how to boil an egg, do I put the water first, or the egg, ok I put both in.
177) Ladies you should let your boyfriend cheat on you, especially if he is unemployed. If he can juggle you and 2 other women well, he has good time management skills, if he is able to come up with a lie every time you ask him where he was? He has the ability to think on his feet. If he can convince you to come into bed with another woman, then you will find out if he is a team player.
178) Just be you and live your life the way you want to because no matter what you do, haters are going hate the same way painters are gonna paint.

173) So Donald Trump is selling fear to Americans and most of them think it's fair trade.
174) Most poor people fight outside the bar, most rich people fight at the bar.
175) I don't have common sense because I am not common.

170) Everything na packaging abroad, so a baby sitter is an au pair, uncle you are not a chauffeur you are a common driver.
171) Everything na packaging abroad, we gats package ourself too, in the same light, all oloshos will now be known as Casual Other Room Attendant.
172) In every other country you start a business to get rich, but America is a strange place, a place where you pray to find someone rich to sue to get rich.

167) I went for an interview yesterday and this interviewer had the mind to ask me why do I want this job? In this Buhari era, that is a stupid question, he could have asked more pertinent questions such as How are you surviving? When do you want to start? How many kidneys do you have left?
168) I heard Donald Trump is now in Bill Cosby's hall of Fame.
169) My parents are asking me to bring a woman home, I don't want to because most of these marriages nowadays end in divorce. I don't want a divorce and you know getting married increases your chances of getting a divorce.

I am back from my Hiatus, It is yam season and you know it is written Man shall not live by bread alone.
164) Some people asked me is Buhari working? I can't answer that definitely, but I know the DG of Nafdac is not working. Whenever I see Cossy's boobs, I am wondering what is the DG of Nafdac doing? Shouldn't there be a label on her boobs? saying Best Before 2004. How many Nigerian men have to die before they do something?
165) You hear all this celebrities using style to tell us about their junk, D'banj- no long thing, Tuface- no be small thing, Y Cee- Tinny Entertainment.
166) I hanged out with Flavour in Lagos, he is the nicest celebrity I have ever met but like every two minute, he would scream Oyalima. Then I realised Flavour has tourette syndrome.

161) Next time lets just send our Para-Olympics what is the point, is it not the same disorganised Nigeria, why are our Para-Olympians doing better, In the same light I think Buhari will outperform Jonathan.
162) They say women don't like sport, then what is nagging?
163) Anyone who tells you money can't buy happiness don't know where to shop.

Nice one.

158) Whenever you hear a story, only believe 10% of the story because 90% is just special effect.
159) I heard if you take steroids, your stuff gets smaller, I need to start taking some, I am tired of scaring these girls.
160) How do you make a balloon rise? put some yeast in it.

lative:
they proved u wrong,iphone7 is out. no new dance

Lol what is dabbing then

I know he is saying the truth, But truth is like alomo bitter, No one likes anyone that speaks the truth, he is going to make enemies mark my word Didn't D'banj do Gra Gra, now is D'banj not playing in D'Rovans hotel with only half seats sold, Please Koffi Keep the truth to yourself, My people only like wash.

oge okoye, where is P-square?

How we dey take wash am? Bros Mikel Make we come shop cake

ok